


One way or another, I'm gonna getcha

by igotfeels



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Tumblr, fangirling, one direction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-06
Updated: 2013-12-03
Packaged: 2017-12-07 15:47:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 110,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/750247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/igotfeels/pseuds/igotfeels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Styles is a normal teenager. He's got the looks, the friends and a good reputation. However, he's got one rather embarrassing secret he'd prefer his friends not finding out about - he is completely obsessed with the new boy band One Direction. Or to be more specific; the insanely hot member Louis Tomlinson. When he and his internet friend Zayn buy two tickets to their show in London, they are completely unaware of what lies ahead of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hii. So this is my first fanfiction ever, so be nice? However, I really enjoyed writing it so hopefully you'll enjoy reading it just as much :)
> 
> You can also read it [Here](http://djunglehaz.tumblr.com/post/47639662612/one-way-or-another-im-gonna-getcha)
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own One Direction. Everything in this is fiction.

From: Zayn

_harrryyyy !! have you seen their new music video yet?? omfg did you see liam shirtless? did you?? DID YOU? HDLDKHLSDJUPOSJKLNDHGUIYE I AM FREAKING OUT NO I AM NOT OK I REPEAT NOT OKAY_

_holy shit but seriously i should calm down now before i have a heart attack. gonna try not to think about liam... #yeahright ___

_take care bro_

Harry chuckled ruefully as he read Zayn's, how shall we put it?, quite energetic message. He was currently sitting on an uncomfortable chair in the school's computer room, as they were supposed to be working on a school project regarding some economical crises that's currently taking place in the States. If Harry remembered correctly, they were supposed to be doing an analysis, or some boring shit like that. _Sigh._ Naturally, he didn't look it up like he was supposed to. Well, sue him for not being interested. Instead, he thought this would be a great opportunity to check his email. He knew, as well as any other directioner, that One Direction's new music video "Kiss You" was released yesterday. Obviously, he had been, and was still, dying to see it. It was if his fingers were itching from the desire to type in video on Youtube and ravish in the joy of watching and hearing Britain's three hottest guys performing their new hit single. And since he had already heard the song and watched the promo... well, he knew he was in for a treat. And after reading Zayn's message, he found it especially hard to contain himself. If Liam; sweet, pure, innocent Liam, was shirtless, he was without a doubt not the only one. Not that Harry particularly cared that much about seeing the irish, blonde superstar Niall shirtless, but Louis on the other hand... oh, holy mother of God, _yes?_ Now, he didn't want to get his hopes up but he was very much hoping for some of the famous Louis hip thrusting moves too. Harry found himself smirking mischievously at the computer, desperately hoping no one was watching him as that would have been incredibly embarrassing. People would probably come to the conclusion he was watching porn or something, and truthfully, he would rather have them thinking that than the truth. 

The reason why he hadn't watched it yesterday like every other directioner on the planet was simply because he had a big test this morning which he, unfortunately, had to spend the entire night preparing for. And he knew, _he knew,_ that if he watched the video, well that would sort of ruin the entire night. Afterwards, he'd immediately go on Tumblr and join the craziness which was unavoidable whenever the boys did something major. And as always, he would get stuck and even if he had managed to leave - well, he would still be thinking about the video, unable to focus on his actual work. He would probably end up taking a very long shower instead. Much more... pleasant. He had been in the situation enough times to know this for a fact, and especially with "Little Things" still being fresh in his memory. (And seriously, how exactly had Louis known that he couldn't go to sleep without a cup of tea? HOW? Honestly. One time during an immensely boring economy class, Harry had found himself rewriting the entire verse into something about equally as accurate. " _You can't go to bed without thinking about me, and maybe that's the reason that you're hard when you sleep. And all of my hip thrusting and ridiculous blue eyes, just admit you're into guys._ " Harry probably would have committed suicide if anyone would have caught him.)

With a smirk still present on his lips, Harry reread Zayn's message. He really just wanted to watch the goddamn video now so he could reply but he knew he couldn't. Not with all of these people around him. He couldn't have a massive freak out in the middle of school. For fuck sake, he had a reputation to think of. 

"Hey, Styles!" A voice called out, causing him to break out of his reverie. A shrill of fear ran through his body, _had he been caught?_ But when he turned around, he only saw his best friend Nick grinning obliviously at him. He was gesturing his hand for him to come over. "Come here."

With a relieved sigh, Harry pressed down the tab to Internet Explorer. You could never be too careful. With determined steps he walked over to his best mate. "What's up?" He asked, while looking down at Nick, who seemed very happy with a big smile glued to his face. 

"Look!" he said excitedly while pointing at his computer screen. He was logged onto Facebook where he was looking at some sort of event. Harry leaned in to get a closer look and saw the title: Time for a party motherfuckers!!! "Perrie's throwing a party." Nick explained, looking up at Harry. "This Friday and I'm invited. I'm sure you get to come to, if we asked." 

Of course Harry could come if they asked. He was always more than welcome at every party. Sometimes, people actually begged him to come. The real question is why he wasn't invited in the first place. "Cool." Harry said slowly, while reading the event's description. Around 40 people were invited. Despite himself, he asked. "Why didn't she invite me?" 

"I dunno." Nick said sarcastically, with a pointing look on his face. "Maybe because she has a massive crush on you and you keep turning her down."

Frowning, Harry replied. "That's not how it is." 

"Ha!" Nick snorted. "That's exactly how it is and you know it."

Sighing, Harry knew he was right. It's not that Perrie wasn't lovely and all, because she really was; it's just that's not really what he was looking for right now. He could understand Perrie's confusion, though, because just a couple of months ago that would have been exactly what he was looking for. But that was before his sister Gemma had showed him an interview of the three most wanted guys in England. That was before Louis fucking Tomlinson. 

"Yeah." He admitted reluctantly, because he really didn't know what else to say. 

Nick raised his eyebrows, with a questioning look in his eyes. "I really don't understand you. I mean, she's fit as fuck." 

No, of course not, why would you? Harry thought gloomy. And how would he possibly explain it? _You see, Nick. The thing is that I've always been bisexual. But lately, I've spend so much time thinking about having an internationally famous superstars dick in my mouth that I'm kind of slowly losing all of my interest in every women in my surrounding. It's not that I am homosexual; I am just Louissexual. I swear to God, though, I am normal! Please believe me!_ Nah, that was a conversation Harry preferably would avoid. And that is why he decided to change the subject, before Nick could inquire any further. 

"Hey, mate, how about you stop drooling over Perrie's fine arse and get back to work? Someone's gotta do this fucking analysis, and it is not going to be me." 

Nick sighed dramatically. "Ugh, but I don't care. Can't Obama handle his own problems?"

"Apparently Mrs. Flack doesn't think he can, so get on it!" Harry pushed him slightly on the side, while Nick frowned accusingly at him.

"And why shouldn't you do it, then?"

"Because," Harry said slowly while trying to think of something which would excuse him "because, if you do it, I can smuggle you a muffin from the bakery later."

Harry looked hopefully at Nick, hoping bribery would work, but he simply rolled his eyes dismissively. "That won't work. You will smuggle me that muffin regardless of whether I write the analysis or not."

Shrugging, Harry agreed. "I guess you're right." 

In the end, they decided on dividing the work in half, Harry doing the first and Nick the second part. It was only fair, really. And to be honest, Harry was sort of grateful for the distraction to keep his mind from drooling over Louis Tomlinson's fine arse. 

xx

When Harry walked home alone the cold Tuesday afternoon, he thought back at when he had made Zayn's acquaintance only three months ago; although it feelt as if though they had known each other forever. Basically, he had been obsessing over 1D for about two months then, spending most of his free time reblogging pictures of Louis with tags such as: _#damnit #fuckmeuntilicantwalk #thatassshouldbeillegal #hotpieceofshit #liferuiner #ihateyou #no #iloveyou #marryme_ etc. Which was fine by Harry; he really liked spending time on Tumblr and seeing that he wasn't the only one with an unhealthy obsession. He particularly enjoyed the fact that everyone was so open minded, something he knew people wouldn't be in real life. However, there is only a certain amount of time you can spend online surrounded by teenage girls without feeling somewhat like an outsider. He therefore decided to take matters into his own hands and wrote something of a friend advertisement, which he then posted on his Tumblr. 

_hiii. so this is rather silly, but i am a teenage boy with a secret obsession with one direction. and i was just wondering if there is anyone like me out there, or am i the only one? (btw no offense girls you know i love you, i just want to feel less like a creep) if you can relate to this, please write and we could be friends? oh and btw im not crazy or anything, im just embarrassingly crazy about 1d  
#onedirection #louis #liam #niall #looking #for #a #friend #male #please #love #me _

Harry hadn't actually expected a reply, and was therefore beyond surprised when he saw he had a mail in his inbox just the day after.

_heyy mate !! so my names zayn and basically im your twin. im also male, 19, live in bradford and am pretty sure all of my friends would leave me if they searched through my computer. idk i am just really in love with liam and it is getting out of hand. honestly, i was actually kind of relieved when i read your message, knowing that im not the only one hahahahaha.. i prefer laughing instead of crying._

After freaking out slightly over his message, Harry had instantly written a reply, hoping he wasn't coming across quite as excited as he actually was since he didn't want to scare Zayn off. 

_hii zayn! my name is harry, 18, from cheshire. im so happy i actually got a reply, was really starting to think i was all alone in this haha ! and yeahh liam is fit, but he is no louis though. but who is? ..apart from louis, then! soo, friends? i promise not to judge you if you promise not to judge me alright?_

...and that was how one of Harry's most important friendships had formed! 

In the beginning, when they had just exchanged their e-mails and didn't know each other, and the whole thing was still a bit weird - they still wrote in full sentences and were pretty coherent. However, as time passed, they got more comfortable with each other and stopped censor themselves and simply just wrote whatever they felt like, however they felt like, because they knew the other person wouldn't judge. They were equally as awful so why would they? 

When Harry walked through the park leading him to his home, he saw two people snogging on a bench nearby which reminded him of a distinctive mail he had sent Zayn three weeks ago. With a smirk on his face, he started chuckling at the memory. 

From: Harry

_ZAYN!!!! dear fucking god, let me tell you what happened at school today_

_so i was talking to my friend perrie who was all like "ooh danielle is throwing a party this friday, you should totally come!" and i was like "sure" because why the fuck not? and theeen all of the suddenly she was all like "oooh have you heard one directions new song?" (little things then obv if you didnt get that) and since im an expert at hiding my true emotions by now i just shrugged casually and was like "yeah, think ive heard it. why?" and tHEN SHE SAID THAT SHE THOUGHT IT WAS LAME AND THAT THEY WERE SO OVERRATED LIKE WHAT EXCUSE ME ??_

_first of all, this is their best song. the lyrics is incredible!! i mean cmon its written by ed sheeran and hes amazing! (and you know because its about me.. haha jk) secondly, has she not noticed how adorable louis looks in black and white?! DOES SHE NOT APPRECIATE BEAUTY SHE SEES IT_

_i mean zayn imagine, just imagine louis (if u want to u can imagine liam instead, figure thats what u prefer. u know what? i think i prefer it if u imagine liam too actually) and you sitting in a park when he pulls out a guitar and says "this one is for you baby" and plays little things. and when hes done you are so overwhelmed you dont know what to do with yourself so you just take the guitar away from him, grabs his tanned, pretty, beautiful, sexy face in your hands and starts kissing him passionately and he kisses you back and its omg so great. and theres people watching, some of your friends even, but you dont care bc you are snogging the most perfect guy in the world. and then as a thank you for singing the song to you, you start to pull down his pants and you can see that hes hard and youre like "YES, I DID THAT I FUCKING DID THAT" and hes like "please harry i need you now" and youre like "yeah sure baby im gonna make you feel good" and hes just moaning "harryyyy" and you pull down his boxers and you lean down to take_

_you know WHAT ZAYN I CANT DO THIS ILL BE RIGHT BACK I JUST HAVE TO JERK MYSELF OFF IF U WOUDL EEXCUS E MEEE_

_okay, so i am back again now and a lot more calm haha ! sorry about that. what i wanted to say was that i didnt appreciate perrie insulting them. perrie is still alright though i guess. haha hope this email didnt freak you out too much :)_

 

Harry can still recall how sweaty his hands had been and how fast his heart had beaten after he had written down all that park snogging nonsense. He really had not intended on writing all of that shit to Zayn, it just sort of happened, really, and it would have felt like a lie if he had erased it afterwards. Okay, so maybe, they weren't really equally as awful. Maybe Harry was a bit worse. Still, Harry liked to think of it as a testament to their friendship that Zayn had replied completely calmly saying that he thought it was alright and didn't freak out at all. However, Harry suspected that Zayn was only saying that because he was just as scared of losing Harry as a friend as he was of losing Zayn. Whatever the case, Harry still appreciated Zayn's support. 

After walking for about ten more minutes, Harry finally reached his house. Quickly, he removed his shoes and jacket and went straight to his room and put his laptop on. When it was on, he immediately went on Youtube and typed in "kiss you one direction". 

_Fucking finally._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So tell me girl if everytime you read  
> You get these sort of feels  
> Baby say yeah yeah a yeah a, yeah yeah a yeah
> 
> (haha sorry i dont know what im doing myself)
> 
> Anyway, chapter 2! Enjoy. x

Alright, so the "Kiss You" music video had certainly been worth the wait. Louis in swimming trunks, Louis in a skiing-outfit, Louis in a Hawaii-shirt, Louis in ... really, wasn't this illegal? Well, it should be. Let's just say that Louis certainly knew how to turn Harry's love on and Harry would definitely let him get him anything that he want (like that was any news). Harry had considered rewriting a verse in the song, just like he had in "Little Things", and send it to Zayn who had been surprisingly impressed by his previous work. However, when he reread the lyrics, he found that the song was quite accurate already. Especially:

"Oh I just wanna show you off to all of my friends  
Makin' them drool down their chiney chin chins  
Baby be mine tonight, mine tonight  
Baby be mine tonight yeah"

Yeah... uhum, Harry could relate to that quite a lot. When he had watched the music video nine times, although never quite understanding what the video itself had to do the song - not that he was complaining because it was really disturbingly adorable somehow, he decided to take a break down in the kitchen. It had been a long day, and he was starving.

Reluctantly, he closed his laptop and exited his room. When he reached the kitchen, he saw his older sister Gemma sitting at the table located in the middle, reading a magazine. At the sound of his footsteps, she slowly looked up and saw him entering. She greeted him with a small smile. "Hello." 

While walking over to the refrigerator, he smiled back at her. "Hi." He opened the refrigerator and began his thorough search for something edible, but finding nothing particularly appetizing. With a disappointed sigh, he closed it again and turned to Gemma with a frown. "Don't we have anything to eat? I need food." 

Rolling her eyes, she replied. "Can't you make a sandwich or something?" 

"I guess." Harry mumbled dissatisfied, while beginning his search for bread. He wasn't particularly fond of sandwiches, but a man's gotta eat, right? Plus, he could always cook a more tasty meal later. He began contemplating different meals in his head when Gemma spoke.

"So, how was your day? How did the test go?" 

Harry thought back at this morning, and the test he had been trying to suppress. With a shrug, he replied. "It went alright, I suppose. How was your day?" 

"It was fine, thank you." 

Only nodding in response, Harry turned his focus to his sandwiches. When he was done, he returned everything to where he had found it. After, he picked up the sandwiches, planning to take them to his room so he could eat and be on Tumblr at the same time. However, he never made it that far because Gemma stopped him just as he was about to put his first step outside the kitchen.

"Hey!" She exclaimed, sounding very offended. 

Harry turned around wide eyed, with a confused look on his face. "What?" 

"Well," she scoffed indignantly "aren't you going to eat with me?" 

"Oh." Harry said sheepish as Gemma made a hand gesture for him to sit down in front of her. "Well, alright." He agreed and began pulling out a chair for him to sit on. It wasn't as if Tumblr was going anywhere, he supposed. And besides, there's no harm in spending some quality time with you sister. Plus, you know, he usually ate pretty quickly. 

"What were you going to do anyway?" She asked, looking at him rather accusingly. 

Swallowing, Harry quickly tried to think of an appropriate thing to answer. He felt his cheeks getting warm, and damnit, _why was he such a lousy liar?_ Lie, lie, lie, his mind thought frantically. Ultimately, he shrugged, trying to keep casual and replied. "Err, nothing. Just stuff." 

At first, Gemma had only looked at him skeptically. Trying to avoid her gaze, Harry took a bite of the tasteless sandwich (Harry wasn't normally especially picky, but when you work at a bakery, that does sort of raise your standards). When he carefully looked back at her, she had an incredibly smug look on her face as if she had just figured something out. "Oh, I see what's going on." 

_Um, no, I'm pretty sure you don't._ Harry wanted to reply, but thought better of it. Instead, he frowned and asked slowly. "Oh, yeah? What's that then?" 

With a smirk on her face, she mimicked his dark and low voice. "Err, nothing, nothing." Then with a cough, she quickly added. "Gay porn." 

"What?! No! " Harry exclaimed horrified in a high-pitched voice. He stared in shock as Gemma was practically choking with laughter to the point where she was almost falling of the chair. Stuttering, he continued denying. "That is not what I was, just - what! _What?_ Jesus Christ, what are you - just no. No!" 

Gemma continued laughing, while Harry buried his face in his large hands trying to conceal his embarrassment. He had to remember never to eat alone with Gemma ever again. And come one, why had she even made that joke? They were sibling for crying out loud, doesn't that make sex jokes inappropriate? Shouldn't this be, like, awkward? Once she had relaxed, she took a few deep breath and started stroking Harry's arm gently. Harry removed his hands from his face and looked at his sister who had a fond smile on her face.

"I'm only messing with you, Harry." She said, continuing stroking his arm. 

"Well, stop doing that, then." Harry muttered childishly but didn't move away from the touch. 

Gemma removed her hand and looked slightly contemplating for a moment, as if she was choosing her words carefully. "It's just that-" she paused to take a deep breath. Harry waited patiently while she was clearly struggling to find the right words. "it's just that you never bring any girls over anyone. I remember when you used to do that all the time." 

Yeah, five months ago to be exact. Harry remembered that too; it had been a simpler time. It wasn't like he had lost the ability to do it, he could still be really charming when he meant to - people had told him plenty of times. He just didn't see the appeal in doing it anymore, it just seemed kind of pointless. And besides, it wasn't like he could bring his boyfriend over either, with him going on a world tour and all. And, uh, him not knowing who Harry was. That did put a damper on their relationship. 

With a sad smile, Harry replied. "I know. I've just grown out of it I guess."

Gemma nodded understanding. "Yeah, that happens." 

_And it is all your fault!_ Harry thought viciously. _You just had to show me that 1D interview, didn't you? Here I was, doing just fine, when you decided to wreck my world into pieces._ Naturally, he didn't say any of that out loud. Instead, he remained silent and took another bite from his sandwich. It was Gemma again who broke the silence. 

"Hey!" She exclaimed, as if she suddenly remember something. "What day is it today?" 

"Tuesday." Harry answered while chewing on his sandwich. "Why?" 

"Well, uh, correct me if I'm wrong, but don't you usually work on Tuesdays?" 

Swallowing, Harry shook his head confidently. "No, not today, I-" but then he stopped. Because ... no, it couldn't be? Could it? Wait a minute, just... _oh, shit, oh shit, OH FUCKING SHIT!_ As the realization struck him, he banged his hands roughly at the table in shock, and stared at Gemma with a bewildered look on his face. "Oh no! Damn it!" 

He stood up quickly and began walking aimlessly around in the kitchen while cursing inwardly. "What time is it?" He asked, unable to think clearly. 

"Almost four." Gemma replied, sounding amused. 

Harry facepalmed himself. "Shit, my shift began one hour ago." He groaned. 

"Well, haven't they called you or anything?" Gemma asked, trying to be useful. 

Without answering, Harry left the kitchen and walked straight to his room. When he reached it, he saw his backpack laying in the middle of the floor and he immediately began searching through it to find his phone. And naturally, once he did, there were four missed calls and a text message wondering where he was, waiting for him. Harry facepalmed himself again, and even harder this time. 

Why did he have his phone on mute? Why did he watch the "Kiss You" video nine times? Why did he remember watching a music video but not remember going to his own job? And why did Louis Tomlinson exist? For god's sake, he was literally beginning to ruin Harry's life for real now. Harry knew he stated this every day, but now it was truly, without a doubt, getting out of hand. He desperately needed to get a grip. 

When he had calmed himself down, he summoned the courage necessary to call the bakery. However, it turned out they weren't angry at all, which didn't exactly make Harry less angry with himself, but still. Someone had volunteered to take his shift, so as long as he dropped by tomorrow instead, it would be fine. Harry told them how thankful he was numerous times, just to make sure the message came across. But they simply assured him that it was alright if it had been an honest mistake, which Harry had confirmed it to be. When the phone call had ended, Harry was a lot more calm but still annoyed with himself. However, now that he didn't have to go to work, he had a lot more time to spend on Tumblr, he thought smugly. You gotta take the good with the bad! 

After going to the kitchen and explaining the situation to Gemma who only laughed at his stupidity, he finally got to check out Tumblr which was pretty much as chaotic as his current state of mind. Harry would never understand how people were able to make so many gifs that quickly. Although admittedly, this had been a very "gifable" music video. He had to give them that. After an hour or so, he wrote a reply to Zayn, where he pretty much agreed with everything he had just said, only changing "Liam" to "Louis". After that, he went on Tumblr again and pretty much stayed there for the rest of the night. Unfortunately, he had homework to do, _but honestly_ , who was he kidding? He wasn't going to do it. Wasn't it enough that he had studied the night before? Two days in row just seems a bit irrational. And really, he shouldn't be expected to think reasonably when he was in such a fragile state. Therefore, he excused himself. 

The rest of the week was quite uneventful for Harry; unless we're talking in One Direction news, because Louis had gotten a new haircut. And although Harry had absolutely loved his feathery brown hair in his annoyingly cute fringe, he had to admit that he looked pretty damn sexy with his hair in a small quiff. However, Harry was convinced Louis would look good in pretty much anything. Damnit, he would probably even look good bald. But now we're talking about the real life week, unfortunately, which had mostly consisted of staying up late, getting up early, fighting the urge to sleep during lectures, not forgetting about work and hanging with his friends. The friends-part had definitely been the best component of the week. But lately, Harry had found himself wishing that Zayn was there with him. Which he guessed was kind of silly, because he knew close to nothing about him apart from the fact that he spend the majority of his time drooling over a guy he would never have. It's just that Harry was really longing to speak to someone in real life who could empathize with the unfortunate situation he had found himself in. He kind of felt like Hannah Montana or something; living a double life and all. Although, his double life was a lot less exciting and a lot more pathetic. 

It wasn't until Friday night that Harry had actually found himself genuinely excited about something. Nick had been right when he had said that Harry would get an invitation to Perrie's party if they asked, just as expected. Nick was usually right about most things; something he liked to point out more than necessary. Harry was actually just about to head over to Nick's place, when he figured that one more mail to Zayn wouldn't hurt anybody. 

From: Harry

_hiii zayn !!_

_how are you? hahaha you remember what happened to me this tuesday right? you better, since i told you yesterday. anyway im kinda starting to think that gemma is on to me, with the whole 1d thing and everything. idk, she just has this look on her face all the time, like she just knows, you know? anyway, im probably only being paranoid i guess. still, im like terrified that she will log onto my computer and check my tumblr or something. and then what zayn? THEN WHAT WILL I DO?? evacuate the country, thats what! sigh. its hard living in constant fear._

_anyway, im going to a party now. ill talk to you soon. im gonna get proper wasted tonight alright, and NOT think about the man whose name which begins with a L (not talking about liam lol. or lord voldemort. haha. get it? you know, "he who must not be named"..? okay whatever im gonna stop now, its not like you dont know who im talking about anyway)_


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly longer chapter this time. Really hope you like it! x

Harry decided to take one last look in the mirror before leaving his house. His unruly brown curly hair was falling messy across his face, but he knew there was no point in fixing it since it would only go back to its original state within seconds. He was wearing his tight black jeans accompanied by his worn out Ramones t-shirt. He liked dressing in dark colours because he thought it made a nice contrast to his otherwise pale skin. Perhaps he would have dressed differently if he had been tanned once in a while. Like in colourful pants, striped shirts and suspenders. But then again, it probably only would have looked stupid on him, regardless of whether he had a tan or not. Not everyone was as perfect as Louis Tomli - and _damnit_! Harry cursed inwardly while rubbing his forehead with his hand. He had promised himself not to think about Louis for the entire night, and typically, he had already broken it.... and he hadn't even left his goddamn house yet! Well, it isn't as easy as it seems, alright? 

With a sigh, Harry walked away from his reflection and over to the hallway. Once there, he bend down to tie his converse when he could hear his mum, Anne, call from the living room. 

"Harry? Are you leaving?" 

"Yeah, I am." He replied, loud enough for her to hear. 

"Okay, sweetheart, have fun!" She yelled, too lazy to leave the living room. 

While standing up, Harry mumbled noncommittally in response. "Thank you." But it turned out Anne wasn't quite finished.

"Will you come home later?"

Harry contemplated this as he put his jacket on. Even though he didn't bring girls home with him anymore, his family still didn't exactly appreciate it when he came home completely wasted; and that was sort of the plan for the night. With a mix of amusement and embarrassment, he thought back at the Friday three weeks ago - the same day he had written the "Louis park snogging" mail to Zayn. That night he had once again found himself walking home through the park alone, although this time drunk and the fantasies had come back to him with full force.

Him and Louis in the park, Louis playing "Little Things" romantically and Harry going down on his knees to give him a blowjob afterwards, which Louis appreciated so much he could hardly contain himself and came hard not long after in Harry's mouth while moaning his name (it was probably a good thing Harry hadn't been too descriptive in his mail to Zayn, given he didn't want to push the boundaries of their friendship too far). Therefore, when Harry had finally reached his house, with the alcohol still buzzing in his blood making it hard for him to think straight; all he could manage thinking was: Louis, Louis, Louis, yeah, please just fuck me, Louis. Once inside, he didn't even make it to his own room, but had pulled down his annoyingly tight pants the second he had closed the front door. He had then grabbed his ridiculously hard cock in his hand and begun stroking it violently, with the image of a hard, moaning Louis fresh in his mind. He had then fallen down to his knees, and perhaps if he had he been able to think of anything other than _holyfuckinggodlouisyesss_ , then maybe he would have seen Gemma standing in the kitchen staring at him wide eyed in a mix of shock and horror. Because, even if they could say inappropriate sex jokes to each other, watching your sibling stand on his knees in the hallway, with his hair glued to his sweaty forehead was definitely passing some boundaries. In mortification, Gemma had coughed awkwardly, which had caused Harry to raise his head in bewilderment. When noticing her, he had been more surprised rather than anything else. But before he even had the chance to open his mouth, she had quickly excused herself and ran off to her room embarrassed. And again, had Harry not been drunk on alcohol and Louis, maybe he would have had the sense to go up and apologize, or something; whatever you were supposed in those kind of situations. But in that moment, when he couldn't think of anything other than his hard cock, he just kept doing what he was doing and even more ardently, if that was even possible. In the end, it had resulted in an awkward conversation the next day (almost as awkward as the one which had occurred that one time Gemma had caught him walking around naked in the house), but it had also resulted in one of the best orgasms of his entire life so far. 

So, basically, it had been worth it.

And _damnit_! Harry cursed inwardly again. Not only had he thought about Louis two times now, but he had actually replayed in his mind a sexual fantasy regarding him. And he still hadn't even left his goddamn house yet! Seriously, why was this so difficult? 

He shook his head, trying snap back to reality. "Eh, what?" He asked, having completely forgotten about what his mother had just asked him. 

"I wondered whether you would be sleeping at home tonight?" Anne repeated. "Will I be expecting you?"

"Oh, right." Harry said sheepish, now recalling the question. "No, I think I'll be sleeping at Nick's, actually." 

"Okay." Anne replied. "Just let me know if anything happens." 

Rolling his eyes at her unnecessary concern, he reached out his hand to grab the doorknob. "Sure thing!" He shouted back, although he most likely wouldn't. "Bye mum!"

"Bye, Harry!" She answered, and then quickly added. "Be careful!"

Not bothering to answer, he opened the door and stepped out into the cold, still Friday night. The sky had a dull, grey colour and the air was still slightly damp from the rain which had occurred earlier. Harry was really grateful it wasn't raining anymore, since he really did dislike rain quite a lot. Plus, it certainly didn't do wonders for his hair. Not that Harry was especially shallow, but his curls were his trademark and the asset that made all the girls swoon. Therefore, he preferred if they looked good. Even if he was only leading the girls on so that they would inevitably get disappointed later, he still enjoyed the attention. He was egocentric like that. 

With slow, peaceful steps, he made his way down the street. The neighborhood was quiet, as it usually was; Cheshire wasn't particularly the most exciting place to live in. Even so, Harry had grown quite fond of it throughout the years. Still, sometimes, more frequently now than ever before, he longed for something new. Something more thrilling. But until then, Harry would just going to have to accept where he was and what he had, and just make the most out of it. In other words: go to Perrie's party and have the bloody time of his life. 

Nick's house wasn't far away from Harry's, so it would only take him a couple of minutes to get there. On his way, he had to walk through the park where he literally had to force his mind not to go wander off to where it sure had a tendency to do lately, and especially in this park. This park was just another thing in Harry's life that Louis Tomlinson had unconsciously ruined. As a result of being scared of dropping by at Nick's house with a massive hard on he couldn't explain, Harry began to speed up and forced his mind to think about boring stuff such as homework and economy. It went surprisingly well; when he reached Nick's house he wasn't dying from the desire to jerk himself off again. With a proud smile on his face, he knocked on Nick's front door. After waiting for about five seconds, the door flew open and inside stood Nick giving the largest smile he could manage. Instantly, Harry beamed back at him, his smile equally as big. 

"Harry!" Nick shouted excitedly while walking forward to throw his two arms around Harry, pulling him into a tight hug. "How are you?" 

When Nick had released his tight grip around Harry and stepped back a bit, Harry chuckled and replied. "I'm good, thanks." 

Continuing standing in the doorframe, Nick asked. "Ready to get wasted?" 

"Always ready." Harry replied while smirking. 

Somehow, Nick managed to look even more cheerful and said in a proud voice. "That's my man." He then moved slightly to the side so that Harry could also enter the house. "Don't bother taking your clothes off, we were just leaving." 

Harry was just about to ask who he meant by "we", when his two friends Josh and Danielle entered the room. They were both looking ravishing, Josh in a navy blue shirt and Danielle in a tight, short black dress which definitely complimented her figure. Harry couldn't help but to feel slightly underdressed. He guessed he was just going to have to work the "casual"-look.

"Hi, Harry!" Danielle squeaked and went forward to give Harry a tight hug and a kiss on each cheek. Absentmindedly, Harry hoped that her lipstick hadn't rubbed off to his cheeks. 

"Hi, love. How are you?" He replied fondly. 

Danielle's face lit up. "As good as always." 

"I'm glad to hear it." 

Josh walked forward and was the only one who didn't pull Harry into an insanely tight hug. Instead, he patted him on the shoulder and simply asked. "You ready to go?" 

"As ready as I'll ever be." Harry answered, and watched as his three friends began tying their shoes and putting on their jackets. When everyone was done, Danielle taking especially long time having to double check her makeup two times, they left Nick's house. The sky was still worryingly grey, but it still wasn't raining at least. They took the bus over to Perrie's house, while talking about nonessential crap like hamburgers and some new crappy reality show that was currently airing on the BBC.

When they finally reached Perrie's house, Harry could see that there was light shining through the windows and he could hear loud pop music leaving the house. He wondered how many people had arrived already. Nick knocked obnoxiously hard on the front door multiple times, causing an annoyed Perrie to open the door with a frown on her face. 

"For God's sake!" She exclaimed. "Relax, will you? We're not deaf."

Nick laughed out loud. "Well, in that case, please forgive me. I only assumed because of the loud music, which the neighbours will definitely complain about later, that you wouldn't be able to hear." 

"Yeah, yeah." Perrie said dismissively, rolling her eyes. She stepped to the side while making an impatient hand gesture for them to come inside, since she didn't want the cool air entering the house. "Just get in, will ya? Don't make me regret inviting you." 

Nick entered first, with the three friends following his lead, still silent. 

"Why would you regret inviting me?" Nick feigned offence. "I'm a blast." 

"You most certainly are." She replied sarcastically, while closing the door behind them. 

As Harry removed his jacket, he took a moment to examine Perrie. She was wearing a burgundy colored dress which matched well with her bleached blonde hair. When she turned around, her defined blue eyes immediately landed on Harry, who continued staring at her shamelessly. She had uncommonly pretty eyes, he noticed. Blue eyes were doubtless his favorite kind. But as his eyes continued to linger on her, he could see as her expression suddenly turned rather sad, and she flinched her gaze away from him, avoiding eye contact. Harry knew that she had been quite fond of him, she had made that very obvious, and he had most definitely been a major disappointment. However, just because he didn't return her feelings didn't mean that he didn't think she was absolutely lovely. He hated knowing she was suffering, and hated even more knowing that he was the source of the pain. A strong urge to make her happy, and to see her smile again, rushed through him. 

"You look beautiful." He told her sincerely, while looking straight at her. 

It worked. Immediately, her cheeks flustered and she turned to face him, her face practically glowing, and she replied with a large smile on her face. "Thank you." 

"Alright, lovebirds" Nick interrupted, causing Perrie to face Nick, clearly annoyed "hate to break your little moment, but I am more than ready to swallow my sorrows in vodka. Who's with me?" 

"Oh, I am!" Danielle shouted enthusiastically. 

"Me too!" Josh agreed. 

Nick turned to Harry with an expectant look on his face. "And you, my old friend?" 

With one corner of his mouth twitching up into a smile, Harry answered. "Bring it on." 

"Splendid." 

They left the hallway and entered the kitchen where they started making their drinks. The house was pretty much crowded with excited, horny teenagers who were all longing to escape from their ordinary life, even if for just one night. And if they were lucky, they might even get to stick their tongue down someone else's throat. If they were even more lucky, the other person might even be attractive. Harry was aware of the fact that many people in this house were longing to do just that to him, but he wasn't going to let anybody. The only person he wanted to snog was miles away. 

A couple of hours later, Harry found himself tipsy, but not over the top drunk. The party was undeniably going successfully. The people attending it were fun and easy going; Harry had known many of them since earlier and he had found himself having more than a few pleasant conversations. People knew Harry was a nice, funny and attractive guy and were therefore automatically drawn to him, without him actually having to make much of an effort. Plus, alcohol had a way of making people more sociable, so Harry's night had been filled with many smiles and laughter. He had even had a full length conversation with Perrie, which thankfully had been strictly platonic. Since he still felt incredibly guilty about turning her down, he made an effort into telling her as many jokes as he possibly could in the hopes that she would laugh and simply be happy again. Plus, hopefully, she would realize that friendship was enough, and be pleased about it. And since she hadn't actually made a move on him throughout the entire conversation, as she usually did, Harry had counted it as a success. 

He was currently sitting on a couch next to two other girls whose names he didn't know, watching Perrie talking attentively to one of her friends, and she looked very happy; practically glowing. That's nice, Harry thought ruefully with a content smile on his lips. Sometimes, she would turn her head to smile at him, and he was always more than happy to give her a merry smile in return. She and her friend had been taking shots now for a while, and Harry absentmindedly wondered if they shouldn't be taking it a bit easy. Being too drunk was fun in theory, but sucked in reality. However, he knew he'd been in that situation too many times himself, so he'd feel like a hypocrite if he would have told them to stop. Furthermore, what was that saying, again? Live while we're young? Yeah, Harry thought pleased, that's a good saying. 

Just when Harry thought he couldn't feel any happier, he heard it. And in reality, he shouldn't have been as surprised as he had been; they had been playing popular pop songs all night, so it was only natural that they would play One Direction too. Sometimes, Harry actually forgot that One Direction was a world famous boy band which existed outside of his and Zayn's private world. He felt his heartbeat quickening as he heard the all too familiar intro, and when Liam finally started singing; he didn't even bother trying to contain the large grin on his face. _"You're insecure, don't know what for. You're turning heads when you walk through the door."_ Harry wished Zayn was here so that they could jump around and sing loudly to each other. (Smirking, Harry remember that time when Zayn had confessed that used to sing "What Makes You Beautiful" changing "you" to "I". _"I'm insecure, don't know what for. I'm turning heads when I walk through the door. Don't need make-up, to cover up. Being the way that I am is enough. Everyone else in the room can see it, everyone else but me ... I don't know I'm beautiful, uh oh, that's what makes me beautiful!"_ Laughing tremendously, Harry had written back: _"'Cause there is nobody else... it's gotta be meeeee. Only meeee."_ ) However, as unfortunate as it may be: Zayn wasn't here. He was in Bradford, doing whatever it was that he did in his spare time. But that didn't mean Harry was the only directioner in the room - when the song got to the chorus, he began overhearing the conversation between the two girls next to him. 

"Oh my god, are you kidding me?" He heard the blonde girl crying out. "Louis is so not the hottest member in the band!"

 _Eh, yes he is_? Harry wanted to say, but remained silent. He moved slightly in his seat so that he could watch them as they spoke. 

"Oh, come on!" The other girl, with long black hair in ponytail, exclaimed. "You can't honestly tell me that Liam is hotter than Louis!" 

"Well, I think so." The blonde one refused to falter. "Niall as well, to be honest." 

_Really_? Now it was only getting ridiculous. 

"What are you on about? Have you seen Louis' ass?" 

Harry's point exactly.

"Of course I have! Look, I'm not saying that he's unattractive or anything. All I'm saying is that I prefer Liam and Niall above him. Plus," she continued, after taking a deep breath "he can't sing. I mean, honestly, have you heard Little Things? He completely ruined it." 

Wait, _what_!? It felt like Harry's heart had stopped. What did she just say about Louis? Louis as in Louis Tomlinson? As in Harry's Louis? With a bewildered look on his face, he turned to stare at her in shock. His mouth hung open but no words got out, because what could he say? In what way could he possibly frame words together in a way that made sense, didn't make him sound like a total creep and also made her realize that she was entirely wrong? It turned out, Harry didn't have to think about that a lot, because he was suddenly distracted by Perrie leaning down next to him, her hands stroking through his hair. 

"I love your curls." She said fondly. "They're so pretty." 

Harry turned around, and tried to snap back into reality. Perrie's here, therefore he should be extra nice. Right. Harry smirked at her. "Yeah, I get that a lot." 

"I'll bet." 

With one hand still in his hair, she leaned slightly forward to the point where Harry could feel her breath, which had a distinctive vodka smell. Suddenly, Harry began to feel uncomfortable, because this wasn't strictly platonic. Strictly platonic didn't involve stroking his hair, telling him they're pretty and leaning way too far into his personal space. Harry coughed. "Ehh, maybe we should-" 

Perrie cut him off midsentence, her eyes still glued on Harry. "Do you remember what you told me earlier?" 

Harry furrowed his brows together. "I've said a lot of things. You're going to have to specify that." 

Her hand slowly leaned down from his hair and began stroking his cheek. "When you came." She said tenderly. "You told me I was beautiful." 

"Oh." Harry remember that. It had been true too, it still was. "Right. I meant that." 

Perrie's entire face lit up, and Harry immediately started to feel bad. Because, no. Perrie was getting the wrong impression. Sure, he did find her beautiful, but only in the same way that he would've found a nice painting beautiful. Not in the way he found Louis Tomlinson beautiful. He started pulling back, while saying. "Look, Perrie, I think we should stop this now. I don't want -" 

Before he could finish the sentence, Perrie completely ignored everything he had just said and launched herself forward and attacked his lips. Being in complete chock, and not knowing what to do, Harry stayed put and allowed Perrie to devour all over him. It was strange how something which had felt so right only a couple of months ago, could now feel so incredibly wrong. He realized he couldn't do this anymore, he had to end it right now. Gently, he put his hands on her chest and began pushing her back, while gasping for air. Perrie, only being a few inches away from his face, stared at him wide eyed. "But I thought -" 

Her voice sounded broken and she never finished the sentence. Still, she stayed where she was and the two of them stared at each other in absolute silence, until Harry said the only thing he could think of. "I'm so sorry." He meant every word. "Really, I am." 

Something changed in Perrie's expression. She didn't look hurt or upset, but rather determined. "Come with me." She whispered, staring aimlessly at something behind Harry. 

"What?" Harry asked in confusion. 

Perrie launched herself away from Harry and stood now in front of him with a stern look on her face, staring down at him. "Come with me." She repeated. " _Now._ " 

In fear, Harry immediately pulled himself up, and started to feel slightly dizzy due to the alcohol. Perrie pushed her way forward through the crowd, and Harry followed obediently. People turned to eye them curiously, but both Harry and Perrie were so caught up in their own heads that they barely noticed. They went up the stairs to the second floor where they entered Perrie's room. Harry recognized it immediately, the posters on the walls, the rocking chair in the left corner of the room. Yes, Harry had been here before. He walked into the middle of the room, when he heard Perrie slam the door shut. Startled, he turned around and saw her staring at him, definitely angry now. 

"What the fuck, Harry?" She cried out. 

Harry stood completely still: unable to move, unable to think. His voice was barely audible. "What?" 

That only seemed to aggravate Perrie even more. "Don't "what" me! You fucking now what!" 

Feeling his hands beginning to sweat, Harry began to feel real discomfort. "I really don't know. Please, tell me." 

"Ha! Well, alright." Perrie snorted mockingly. "So, okay, you're telling me that you're not the biggest womanizer and whore on the bloody planet, and still have the fucking guts to continually ditch me and act like _I'm_ not good enough for _you_?" 

It was if time had stopped. Harry wanted to deny it but he couldn't find his voice. He couldn't do anything but to stare helplessly at Perrie who continued to yell at him. 

"You're telling me that you didn't totally lead me on earlier, which made me all happy and stuff, only so that you could reject me? _Again_?" 

Swallowing, Harry could feel his body trembling. There was some truth to what she was saying, and he didn't particularly enjoy acknowledging it. 

"Is this some sick joke to you? Is this your sense of humor?" Perrie's voice was hard and unforgiving. "I mean, were you going to make a move on the girls sitting next to you on the couch? Just to make me feel even more like an idiot? Don't think I didn't notice you staring at them." 

"No." Harry whispered, barely loud enough for himself to hear. "No, I wasn't. I promise." 

Perrie completely ignored him, and continued on with her rant. It was if she spoke more to herself rather than Harry. "And here I was, being all lovely and laughing at all of your stupid jokes." She turned to face Harry directly now, her face severe. "You're not funny, you know that right? Like, not at all. You speak way to slowly and there's never any catch point." 

Nodding, Harry was starting to feel numb. Don't cry, he thought. Whatever you do, don't cry. "I know." 

There was a small silence before Perrie dropped the last bomb. "You know that the only reason I wanted you was because everyone else had, so I figured you'd be a good fuck, right?" When Harry didn't answer, Perrie shook her head in disbelief and exhaled a sigh. Deciding she was done; she had said everything she meant to, and Harry obviously didn't have much to say in reply, she turned around and opened the door. Before exiting, she turned to face Harry's pale face again. "I shouldn't have let Nick convince me into inviting you."

And just like that, she left the room and left Harry all alone with the walls spinning around him. All the colour had vanished from his face, he could barely feel his body and he was positive he would die if he stayed here a moment longer. With heavy breaths, he carefully walked forward and exited the room he'd only been in for a minute or two, although it felt like he'd been there an eternity. Quickly, he went down the stairs, hoping he wouldn't bump into any of his closest friends, which he thankfully didn't. When he got to the hallway, he could see Nick standing in the kitchen, telling a story in front of a bunch of people who listened intently. They all laughed cheerfully at something he had just said, and Nick was clearly enjoying the attention. Regardless of the fact that Harry wanted to drown himself in a river, he was still happy that Nick was having a good time That didn't make him want to go say good bye, though. Right now, he wasn't in the right state to pull something like that off. Instead, he quickly put on his shoes and jacket and left the big house. 

Not only was it even colder now than it had been before, which was sort of expected since it had just passed midnight, but now it was also, typically, raining. How absolutely lovely, Harry thought sarcastically. Well, at least the tears don't show as clearly in the pouring rain. You gotta take the good with the bad. He considered taking the bus home, but not wanting people to see him like this, he decided to walk instead. Besides, it wasn't actually that far. He could manage.

On the way home, he thought about what Perrie had said. He knew he shouldn't take it as hard as he did, but he couldn't help himself. It had been wrong of him to lead her on, whether or not it had been intentional. Still, he had never meant to hurt anybody. But the words that hurt the most were "whore" and "womanizer", which had all been sort of ironic since there was only one person Harry wanted, and he wasn't even a woman. Harry remained miserable throughout the entire walk home, with his body still so numb he could hardly feel the cold surrounding him. Not even when he walked through the park did he crack a smile. 

When he got home, he immediately dried his eyes with his palm. After, his eyes scanned the area, making sure no one would pop out of the kitchen. Truthfully, Harry would rather have his family seeing him jerking himself off than crying. Was that weird? Probably. All the same, he walked as silently as he possibly could to his room, making sure no one would hear him and go greet him. Once inside the safety of his own four walls, he dropped down on his chair and buried his face inside his hands. He was practically completely sober by now, the long walk having waken him up. But the knot in his stomach was still painfully present. After sitting like that for a while, breathing heavily, he did what he always did when he felt down; put on his computer. Reblogging some sexy pictures of Louis never failed to cheer him up. 

When the laptop was on, Harry suddenly recalled the other thing that always managed to brighten his mood: Zayn. He also recalled the stupid mail he had send him earlier that night; the one telling him about the fear he had of Gemma finding his Tumblr and also telling him about the party he was about to attend, plus his plans for getting completely wasted and whatnot. Smiling slightly, Harry wondered if Zayn had answered. Desperately hoping that he had, he opened his mail and to his great satisfaction; that turned out that to be the case. And also, not only with one, but two mails. Both of them had been send about two hours ago, the second one only minutes after the first. Harry began with opening the one he had send first. 

 

From: Zayn 

_HARYRRYRRRYYYY OMGFGFGG IC AN BREATTGHH THIS HOLLLYY SHIIITTHH YOU OMMGGFFFGGGGHH IIHH NO I CANT BREATH OMG WHAT IS AIR HOLY SHIT NOOOOOOOO AHHHHGG KLDNLKDNSLKNSLKNSDPOSJP_

 

Harry stared dumbstruck at Zayn's cryptic message. From what he could gather, Zayn experienced difficulties in breathing. But, how come? The "Kiss You" music video had been released three days ago. Surely, he should be able to breathe by now? If Harry was, then so should he. Frowning, Harry closed the mail and opened the second one, hoping for something coherent and understandable this time. 

 

From: Zayn

_harry. ok so i guess you didnt understand a single shit from my last message. sorry about that. i've taken a few breath and hope i will express myself more sanely now._

_basically, what i so subtly tried to express in my previous message was that_

_ok harry. you know what? embrace yourself. this is big. this is bigger than big. this is huge. it's bigger than that even._

_have you taken a deep breath yet? good. take another one. good. (cuz, you see, i dont want you dying on me. god knows i almost did)_

_alright, here we go... i've got two tickets to one direction baby (come with me friday, dont say maybe.. haha kidding). the one in three weeks. my cousin bought them but it turned out she couldnt go so i bought them from her saying i was going to sell them to my two female friends (yeah right, i'd rather light myself on fire) and, you know as well as i do that this is the last show of their tour. are you crying yet? god knows i am_

_anyway, you and me harry. 3 weeks. in london. and if you cant make it i honestly dont give a shit. you will be there, whether you can make it or not._

_please reply as soon as possible bc i cant handle this alone. we're in this together harry. always has been (or well, since three months ago) and always will be._

_good luck on not dying._

 

Suddenly, Harry was completely breathless and it had absolutely nothing to do with a lack of oxygen.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uh, my fourth chapter in one week. SERIOUSLY WHAT DID I DO WHEN I WASNT WRITING THIS HAHA I LITERALLY CANNOT REMEMBER 
> 
> And a friendly reminder that you can also read it [Here](http://djunglehaz.tumblr.com/post/47639662612/one-way-or-another-im-gonna-getcha)
> 
> Enjoy :)

From: Harry 

_That's great, Zayn! Really, thank you! Honestly, I don't think I can fully express how grateful I am for your thought and concern. However, and it literally pains me to say this, really you have no idea, but I can't go :'(_

_Their show is during our Easter break and that's when my family's coming over. It's tradition and my mum takes that kind of thing seriously. Sigh. I know, right? Anyway, so I talked to her and there is absolutely no way that she's letting me go. God knows I tried convincing her. Besides, I don't have the money. You know I'm saving up for uni, and the show + ticket to London just doesn't go that well with my budget right now. Plus, we need a place to stay as well. Even if you would offer to pay, which you most likely wouldn't, it would still feel wrong._

_I don't know what else to say, Zayn. Genuinely, I am so sorry. Maybe there is someone else you can go with? Either way, I hope you have the time of your life._

_Just remember to say hello to Louis from me, alright? Also, tell him that I love him. Always have, always will. And that someday, we will meet. Just under better circumstances. (Wow, I am literally crying right now.)_

_And again; sorry._

_Love, Harry._

_Ps. I hope this doesn't affect our friendship too much, because I need you more than ever before. Something happened last night and I would love to talk to you about it._

 

From: Zayn 

_please tell me this is some sick joke , seriously i will kill you_

 

From: Harry 

_yeah im only kidding. HAHAHAHHAH. sorryyy. (wow. shit i just realised that im not actually funny. someone told me that last night, maybe she had a point... who knew?) you'll forgive me though, right? not like you have any choice, SINCE WE ARE SEEING ONE DIRECTION TOGETHER IN THREE WEEKS OMG WHAT IS HAPPENING_

_puh, do you have any idea how much self control it required to write that mail? honestly, my hands were shaking the whole time._

_HAHA i knew you wouldn't buy it though. like i'd ditch the show because "my mum wouldn't let me go" LOL! if that isn't the funniest thing i've ever heard. like you said: i'd rather light myself on fire. well, yeah, pretty much. and to anyone who disapprove of me leaving: HASTA LA VISTA BITCHES I WILL SEE YOU LATEEEEER I AM OFF TO MEET MY FUTURE HUSBAND_

_... jesus christ i have literally no dignity left._

_but sorry if i messed with your delicate feelings earlier, i just couldn't help myself_

_anyway, we have much to discuss !! where/when etc. mail back sooon. i hope you dont hate me too much !_

 

From: Zayn

_i hate you more than i have ever hated anyone ever. but as you said, we are seeing them together in three weeks so i guess i'll just have to put up with you. and no, you're not funny._

_yeah, i've already done "some" research. basically, what i thought is that since we have the entire week off, holiday and all, we could meet up, like the weekend before? so we could hang out for a week? get worked up together? (unless you "have to spend time with your family". did i mention that i hate you, harry? did i?) however, i get it if you dont want to, i guess. we could always meet up the day before the show then, that's fine too. either way, i've found a cheap hotel we can stay at._

_oh and btw, in case i forgot to mention: i hate you._

 

From: Harry 

_no, zayn, that sounds brilliant! i would love to hang out for an entire week! honestly, as long as possibly I'd say. haha. i quit school around 2 at fridays, but maybe i could take the train after that? and we could maybe leave at sunday the week after? would that work for you?_

_and come on zayn, lets be real shall we? "hate" is just another word for "love", am i right?_

 

From: Zayn 

_yup that would work for me too! time to start looking for cheap tickets._

_and shut up. that's not true (.. but yes)_

 

Is it stupid that Harry felt like he could climb mountains? That he couldn't stop smiling his goofy grin that practically occupied his entire face? Or that when Gemma asked him why he was looking so uncharacteristically happy, he answered: "Well, I just had a really good night, last night". Which wasn't true at all. Or maybe it was, depending on how you'd interpreted it. And Gemma probably didn't interpreted in the sense that Harry meant it. 

Obviously, he had a lot of things to settle before leaving. For a starter, he had to give his friends and family a believable excuse for leaving. _Well, me and my friend Zayn, who I by the way have never met, are going to spend nine days together in London, where I by the way have never been before. And we are going to see a boy band, in which Louis Tomlinson is a member, who I by the way is in love with. The reason I'm in love with him is because I'm bisexual, something which I by the way may also have forgotten to mention._ That just wouldn't cut it. Harry would have to make up something better. 

Thankfully, Harry already had the perfect excuse figured out. Growing up, he had a friend named Eleanor. She was two years older than him but they had bonded immediately anyway. Basically, they both had a strong passion for music so they used to jam together a lot; Harry singing and Eleanor playing the piano. Harry missed her a lot since he had loved hanging out with her. Well, apart from the few times when Josh decided to join, because he was constantly making a move on her. But even that had its upside, because he and Eleanor could always laugh at him afterwards. However, she moved to a university in London last year, where she studied politics. After leaving Cheshire, she and Harry had slowly drifted apart, which had been sort of inevitable. Eleanor had her life and Harry his. That's it. Still, Harry was confident no one would second guess it if he told them he'd go visit her for a couple of days. Why would they? Really, she was the perfect alibi, Harry thought smugly. No one would suspect a thing. And if Harry had felt like he had been living a double life before, it was nothing compared to how he felt now. 

The next issue would be the finance. But luckily, Harry had that covered as well. Since he had worked three shifts a week at the bakery for almost three years now, he had some savings. And really, he was spending it on a good cause, he thought. His sanity should be high on his priority list. 

The last issue, and Harry wasn't even sure if it counted as one, was Zayn. Now, Harry was positive he wasn't some creepy forty year old or anything (because what kind of creep would spend that much time on Tumblr, write that many crazy mails just to trick one 18 year old boy to London? Surely, there were easier ways to go about it. And if he actually turned out to be a 40 year old creep, then damnit; he deserved an Oscar.) Plus, Harry had seen pictures of Zayn. Or more like it; he had seen endless pictures of Zayn. Whereas Harry mostly used his Tumblr to reblog sexy pictures of Louis with inappropriate tags, Zayn mostly used his Tumblr to post sexy pictures of himself with inappropriate tags _#bradfordbadboy #sexy #perfect #iknowyouwantmeliam #hipster_. Harry had actually almost had an heart attack the first time he had visited his blog, because _wow_ ; he was attractive. Certainly no Louis, but still, _wow_. Maybe he shouldn't have been that surprised; Harry just never would have guessed that pretty face matched with that geeky personality. Once, when asked, Zayn had told Harry that he only posted the selfies because he got more followers because of them. But Harry knew that wasn't the case. Basically, Zayn knew he was an attractive guy and didn't mind making the most out of it. 

The funniest thing that has probably ever happened to Harry is actually Zayn-related. When you think about it, a lot of things in Harry's life currently seemed to be Zayn-related. It had happened in the beginning of their friendship, when Harry had casually been stalking his Tumblr, going through his old posts and such. At first he had laughed out loud because Zayn was so ridiculous, and then he had laughed at himself because he was exactly the same. After doing that for about an hour, he found a post that made his heart stop. So, basically, Zayn had photoshoped a picture of himself with Liam in it. Uh... _yeah_. Harry sat in silence for an entire minute, just staring, until he completely lost it and found himself lying on the floor laughing so much he was literally shaking. Because, even though Harry was insane too, he had never done that at least. But admittely, maybe if he had been better at Photoshop, maybe he would have. "Maybe" meaning "definitely". So, as a conclusion, you could say that Harry knew for fact that Zayn was exactly who he had claimed to be. 

What bothered Harry, or maybe "bothered" wasn't the right word; what made Harry slightly anxious, was the fact that they had never actually spoken to each other. Of course, they had written to each other practically every day for the last three months, but Harry had never actually heard his voice. They had never had a real conversation - you know the kind when you use your mouth to speak? Yeah, that kind. And maybe this wasn't a big deal; maybe Harry was only blowing things out of proportion, but he couldn't help feeling slightly worried that they wouldn't get along. What if in reality, Zayn was some super cool guy who would have absolutely nothing in common with dorky Harry? What if Harry's interpretation of Zayn was completely wrong and not accurate even in the slightest? 

Well, only time would tell, Harry supposed later that evening, when he sat down in front of his computer looking at train tickets. If things were bound to get awkward, then so be it. It's not like Harry was going to let fear stop him anyway. Ultimately, he decided to buy a ticket leaving at Friday 4 p.m., three weeks from now. With embarrassingly sweaty, trembling hands he pressed down the "Buy" button. _Breathbreathbreath_. When the computer screen showed "Purchase Successful", Harry was genuinely ashamed of the high-pitched sound that escaped his lips. However, not ashamed enough to stop him from running three laps around his house in sheer happiness. If anyone would have seen him, they probably would have come to the conclusion that he was mentally insane. And truthfully, Harry wouldn't have blamed them, seeing as that was kind of the case. 

The two weeks that followed went by in a blur. To an outsider, everything would have looked perfectly normal. Like for Nick. 

"Hey, Harry." He had said one ordinary Monday afternoon, the same week that Harry was leaving. "Are you excited about London?" 

Immediately, Harry had given a large smile, and stared down at his bench with a flush on his cheeks. "Yeah." He admitted sheepish. "Really excited." 

"I'll bet." Nick replied with a wink. 

Harry rose on eyebrow and looked at him curiously. "What do you mean?" 

"Well, you know..." Nick lowered his voice "you and Eleanor. Hint, hint."

"Oh." Harry looked at Nick who smiled expectantly at him. Even though Harry had expected the lie to work, he hadn't quite expected it to work this well. However, Harry still wasn't the best liar in the world so he tried to avoid the subject as much as possible. Plus, he did feel sort of bad for lying to his friends. It's just that if he told them the truth, he wasn't sure if he would be able to refer to them as his friends for that much longer. In order to keep his conscious as clean as possible, he mostly went with the "don't deny or confirm" method. "Right, um. Yeah... That." 

The chair in front of Harry moved, and when Harry moved his head he could see Josh staring at him with a frown on his face. "Ugh, I'm so jealous of you. The things I'd do to get inside of her pants. Jesus Christ." 

Harry nodded slowly. "Well, well." 

With a sad sigh, Josh continued. "I mean, she's so beautiful. And talented, too." He looked directly at Harry with a pointing look. "I honestly hope you realise how lucky you are." 

And Harry honestly hoped that Eleanor's actual boyfriend realised how lucky he was. "True, true." 

Nick started patting Harry on the shoulder. "That's why you didn't hook up with Perrie, right? Because of Eleanor?" He removed his hand and looked thoroughly pleased with himself. "I knew I'd find out why." 

"Uhh," Harry began in loss of words. He had tried to think about Perrie as little as possible, since her words still hurt. The only person he had told about the "Perrie-incident" was Zayn, and even though he had obviously done his best at comforting Harry, he still wasn't quite over it. Swallowing, he turned his head to look at the clock which hang above him. The class ended in 15 minutes. Despite the fact that he already knew this, he asked, in hopes of distracting Nick and Josh: "Doesn't the class end soon? I want to go home." 

It worked. "Um, I think - " Nick had a puzzled look on his face. "I think that there's twenty minutes left."

"No." Josh corrected, raising a finger. "Fifteen." 

"Twenty, fifteen; same thing." Nick dismissed his input. 

"Fine." Josh scuffed, and turned around in his seat.

The rest of the day, as well as the rest of the week, continued on like usual. At least to an outsider. But to an insider on the other hand, like Zayn, you could tell that something was up. 

 

From: Harry 

_YESYESYESYESYESYYSYEYYEYYSYSYYEYEY THERE IS ONLY FOUR DAYS LEFT NOW UNTIL LONDON AND ONLY ELEVN TIL THE SHOOOOW_

_I AM SCREAAAAMINGG_

_WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH_

_< 333_

 

When the day of the departure actually came, Harry secretly wondered all day if people could tell he was having a mental breakdown. Given the way that he couldn't sit still, or the smile that stubbornly refused to leave his face. Harry just figured they only came to the conclusion he was excited about seeing Eleanor, and well, he simply didn't tell them otherwise. 

The air was relatively warm given that it was still only March, and the sun was shining when Harry's mum dropped him off at the train station. They started unloading his package, Anne constantly keeping a dissatisfied look on her face. 

"I'm still not so sure about this, Harry." She said with concern evident in her voice as she handed him his luggage. "London is a big city." 

Harry took a hold on his luggage and tried to look as reassuring as he could manage. "Don't worry about it, mum. Everything will be fine."

Anne still didn't look convinced. With a sad smile on her lips, she sighed and moved forward to give Harry's cheek one gentle stroke. "I know, I know, I just-" she removed her hand and looked at him like he was the most precious thing in the world. Which, according to her, he was. "I'm just so worried about you." 

Seeing that she was distressed, Harry put down his luggage and pulled her into a tight hug. "I know, mum. But you don't need to be, though. I'm eighteen, I'm pretty sure I can take care of myself by now." 

They both chuckled at that and Harry slowly released his grip around her and pulled up his luggage again, getting ready to leave. 

Anne exhaled a heavy high. "I know, Harry, I know. Just promise me you won't get up to something mischievous or anything?" 

_No_.

"Yeah, of course." 

For the first time, Anne's smiled was actually genuine. "I'm so excited!" She squeaked. "Can't believe my little boy is going on his first adventure." 

Rolling his eyes, Harry couldn't help but to laugh at that. "Really, you're making this into a bigger deal than it is." 

Shaking her head confidently, Anne replied. "No, I'm not." With a pointing look, she continued. "And don't think I haven't noticed how excited you've been lately. You always have been obvious with your emotions." 

"Well, yeah" Harry admitted guilty, seeing as there was no point denying it. "I guess I have been." 

"Alright," Anne chuckled "I'm going to let you go now."

After one last hug, in which Anne hold on to Harry very tightly, they finally said good bye. Anne returned to the car and Harry made his way onto his platform. It all seemed so surreal that Harry actually had problems breathing properly, it mostly came out as coughed chokes. It was like he was walking through some kind of dream, not like something that was actually happening. And if people were looking at him strangely because he was appearing to be so up in the blue, like he was somewhere else completely; Harry neither noticed nor cared. 

When he stepped onto the train, he found an empty seat by a window where he decided to sit down. When the train started moving, the butterflies in Harry's stomach were actually at the point where he felt like he wanted to throw up. To distract himself, or to work himself up even more, Harry wasn't sure, he decided to put in his earplugs. Taking up his I-pod, he scrolled past all of his normal favorite bands until he found what he was looking for: One Direction. With a smug smile on his face, he decided to put on their latest single. It was a cover from the band Blondie but it was also a charity single, since they were perfect like that. Harry started thinking about Louis and how he probably gave a lot to charity, because he had such a big heart. When the song actually started, Harry was positive he had never been able to related to a song as much in his entire life. 

"One way or another, I'm gonna find ya  
I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha  
One way or another, I'm gonna win ya  
I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha"

Looking outside his window, Harry could see the trees disappearing quickly into blurry images, one by one. The train was probably moving at 100 miles per hour, but to Harry; it wasn't going nearly fast enough.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A massive thank you to everyone who reads! Honestly, you light up my world like nobody else! <3 
> 
> This chapter is from Louis' POV. Hope you like it! x

To an outsider, it would have looked like Louis Tomlinson was happy. When you think about it, doesn't he sort of look like the definition of the word "happy"? Constantly smiling, always telling jokes and perhaps most importantly - living his dream to the fullest. Not everyone has been given the chance to go on a world tour, or to perform live in front of thousands of screaming fans at a sold out arena in New York; just like Louis was going to just this particular evening. But then again, not everyone was forced to hide their sexual orientation either. Not everyone had stay away from their family, who meant the world to them, and spend every minute of every day with two people who they didn't even get along with that well. Not everyone knew what it felt like to be trapped in a cage impossible to escape, no matter how badly you wanted to. And to have millions of people watching you in the meantime.

Now, it wasn't like Louis didn't like Niall and Liam. Because he did. A lot, actually. Obviously, they were both really good people, so how could you not? Louis could have been under a death threat and he still wouldn't have said a single bad thing about them. They didn't deserve that. However, that didn't mean that they got along that splendidly. Basically, to sum it up, Louis was a lot to deal with - something which Louis was perfectly aware of. Not only was he obnoxiously loud and irresponsible, but he was also sassy to the point where people were starting to get really offended by the things he said. Recently, he had developed a habit of starting unnecessary arguments with other celebrities on Twitter. Louis might have thought he was witty and clever at the moment, but it always resulted in an uncomfortable conversation afterwards with the other band members and management telling him how he should act more responsible so he wouldn't destroy the bands image etc. Full of regret, Louis agreed and promised not to do it again. The problem was though, that if he wasn't snapping at people online, he was snapping at people in real life instead. It could be anyone from interviewers, to management but lately also, unfortunately, his own band members Liam and Niall. Usually, it started out with them telling him to do the dishes, or the washing, or the cleaning or maybe cook something to eat. And then Louis telling them no. He couldn't find the energy so he wasn't going to do it. Simple as that. Which then resulted in Liam and Niall getting annoyed at Louis for his childish behavior. Even if they tried their hardest not to let it show, they were pretty obvious. And besides, it didn't really matter whether or not they showed it - Louis was annoyed with himself enough for the three of them.

He was currently sitting in an empty room filled with clothes laying splattered all around the floor. One Direction was performing their last show in America today and it was a big deal to say the least. Louis had just been dressed along with Niall and Liam, but had lingered a while longer while the two other boys had made their way onto hair and makeup. It's funny how even though they practically always wear the same clothes, but there still always ended up being plenty piles of clothes on the floor. Honestly, where was the logic?

Shaking his head thoughtfully, Louis took a deep breath and enjoyed the temporary silence. Even though Louis might have been the definition of an extrovert, that didn't mean he couldn't appreciate some alone time from time to time. He found it especially soothing now before a big show such as this one. Obviously, he enjoyed working himself up with the lads as well, but sometimes, silence was preferable. And when he was alone, he could do stuff he couldn't around other people. Without giving it much thought, he picked up his phone and dialed the number he knew by heart by now. The phone only rang for a couple of seconds before there was a woman on the other line answering.

"Hi, sweetheart!" His mother, Jay, squeaked on the other side of the line. Louis could practically hear her smile through the phone, the one that was always present whenever he called. Louis like that. Louis like that a lot, to be perfectly honest.

"Hi, mum." Hopefully, Jay could hear Louis' smile through the phone as well.

"I'm so glad you called!" Her voice was sincere and Louis' smile continued to grow. His mum was always a reliable source of happiness whenever he was feeling down.

"I called you yesterday." Louis chuckled in response.

"Your point being?"

Shrugging, although Jay wouldn't be able to see it, he replied. "Nothing. Just putting it out there."

"Well, if I had my way I'd talk to you at least twice a day. _At least_. You know I'm always dying to know what you're up to." Louis felt the exact same way but he didn't know how to say it out loud without his voice breaking. There was a small pause before Jay added. "And the girls as well."

Something between guilt, sadness, fondness, and longing arched deeply within Louis' stomach. He desperately tried to suppress them, given those weren't exactly the sort of feelings he needed to be feeling right now. "You know you can call me whenever you like." He mumbled childishly into his phone.

There was an evident sigh on the other line. It sounded sad and troubled, and Louis thought it sounded wrong in every possible way. "You know I can't do that. You're always busy."

"Yeah." Louis admitted reluctantly. Swallowing, he hid his face in his spare hand. "Yeah, I know."

"But, _heey_ ," Jay's voice went up. Absentmindedly, Louis wondered if Jay could sense that he was feeling down, mother instincts and all. "This isn't what we're supposed to talk about! We're supposed to talk about you! What are you up to at the moment? Isn't your big show tonight?"

Louis removed his hand from his face and sat up straight. "Yeah it is." He confirmed. "We'll be live in about two hours actually."

"Oh, that's so exciting!" Jay replied and it suddenly dawned on Louis that there were a lot of sounds in the background. It sounded like cars driving, wind blowing, people talking and all of the other general things you usually heard when you went outside. (Or to be more specific; what ordinary people heard when they went outside. When Louis went outside, he usually heard teenage girls screaming how much they loved him and wanted to get inside of his pants. He has had more people asking him to marry them than he has had people asking him what time it is. However, Louis was fairly positive that wasn't the case for most people. Especially not for his mum. Dear god, that would have been beyond weird.)

"Yeah, well, what are you up to?" He asked. "Are you outside? I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"No, no, no! Not at all!" She quickly assured him. "Of course not. I was just on my way to pick up the girls from school."

Louis' smile made a reappearance. "Oh, yeah?"

"Oh, yeah, and wait until you hear this: we're having a sleep over party tonight. I think there will be about twenty girls staying the night." Jay started laughing. "I seriously doubt I will catch any sleep tonight."

"Sounds like a nightmare." Louis joined the laughter. But a nightmare or not, he wished he was there.

"Darling, a nightmare is having four girls in the same house. Twenty will be hell breaking lose."

"Fair enough."Louis agreed. "Just try not to buy too much candy - don't want them becoming too hyperactive."

"I'll keep that in mind, Louis. Because I was actually planning on buying the entire stock of Milkway at Tesco, but now that you have given me that insightful tip - maybe I'll think better of it."

Smirking, Louis replied. "Don't be sarcastic, mum."

"No, of course not. You've already taken that part. Please forgive me for my ignorant statement earlier, I didn't know what I was saying."

"Ha!" Louis snorted. "Think you're funny, do you?"

"Perhaps. Or would you -" Jay stopped midsentence and cursed completely out of the blue. "Oh, damn it!"

The sudden twist in the conversation made Louis frown confused. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"No, nothing, it just - " Jay sighed heavy. "It just started raining. Nothing to worry about. However, I should probably hang up now before my phone becomes soaking wet."

 _I'll buy you a new one_ , Louis urged to say. "Oh, okay. I understand."

"But I'll talk to you soon, yeah? Promise to call me after the show?"

"I will." Louis nodded. "Don't want to miss out on you complaining about having to watch "The Princess Diary" again."

"Oh, I most definitely will!" Jay laughed out loud, and Louis could hear the rain drizzling furiously in the background. "Look, I really must go now. Bye, love!"

Louis was just about to open his mouth to say good bye in return when Jay beat him to it. "Oh, wait!" She exclaimed.

"Eh, yes?" Louis asked slowly, not seeing the need to yell.

"Just thought I should ask while I have the chance. Have you decided whether or not you'll be coming home for Easter yet?"

"Oh." Something tightened in Louis' stomach. He wanted to scream yes, _yes_ , most definitely yes, of course I will, do you even need to ask? He wanted to simply lift his weigh off his shoulders and hear his mum beam back at him in happiness. However, he wasn't sure if he could make it. And if there is one thing Louis was keen to avoid, it was making promises he couldn't keep. "I'm not sure yet. I - I really want to, you know that, but -"

"But you don't know if you can make it." Jay filled in for him, her voice sounding disappointed.

"Exactly." He agreed with a heavy sigh.

"Well, it is what is what it is." Jay concluded with a sad voice and then quickly added. "But, I must hang up now. Bye!"

Before Louis got to reply, he was once again interrupted, although this time my a low "beep" sound. He sat there stiffly on his chair listening to the "beep" which was slowly taking over the silence, doing a poor job at replacing his mum. He pressed down the "End" button and it disappeared. Just like that, it was only Louis and the piles of clothes again, just like before.

With a sigh, he stood up from his chair and started walking aimlessly around the room. He stopped in front of a big mirror and started examining himself. Without giving it much thought, he turned around, because let's be honest - that's his best part. His trousers sat tightly around his ass making it look as appealing as it possibly could. The girls will like that, he concluded. Not that he exactly cared about what the girls liked, but he had to pretend like he did at least. Louis nodded thoughtfully in appreciation, when a female voice broke him out of his reverie.

"Are you ready?" Startled, Louis turned his head and saw his hairdresser, Sarah, standing in the doorway smirking at him. Immediately, he gave a large smile in return. Because if there was one thing Louis could do, it was giving people what they wanted. If he felt like it, that is.

"Yeah, I'm ready." He confirmed and walked over to where she was standing waiting for him. Still smiling, she took a hold on his arm and gently pulled him into the big room, where Liam and Niall where already present, becoming presentable before the nights show.

"Hi, lads." Louis greeted them as he entered.

Someone was carefully putting foundation on Liam's face, which he abruptly ignored and turned his face to Louis instead. "Hi, mate! You ready for the show?"

Liam looked so genuinely happy, as always, which made Louis slightly more happy already. "Yeah. I'm thrilled." His eyes searched the room until he spotted the Niall being forced to sit still with his eyes closed, while the makeup artist was applying - eh, well, _something_. Louis wasn't a makeup artist, okay? He didn't need to know exactly what was on his face. He knew what foundation was, and that was basically it. Just because he was gay didn't mean he was over the top feminine, thank you very much. He did not support those kind of prejudices. (However, he did make a mental note earlier about how he should probably change his moisturizer, his skin was getting kind of dry. But your complexion is important if you're a pop star, okay?) "Niall, are you pumped?"

Niall didn't seem to chare Liam's extreme level of enthusiasm. "Yeah, it's gonna be great." He said. "Can't wait to go for a pint afterwards."

"Oh, for God's sake, Niall!" Louis laughed.

Niall opened his eyes despite the makeup artists obvious sigh of annoyance, and looked at Louis with a frown. "What?"

Louis, who was still being dragged by Sarah, made his way onto his own chair and rolled his eyes at Niall. He really wanted to make a sarcastic remark but thought better of it, not wanting to unconsciously offend anyone before a big show such as this. "Nothing. Just, I remember in Chicago when we went for a drink after and you accidentally ate their whole stock of fries."

Niall burst into a loud laughter. "Yeah, I remember that too. Don't think I've ever been that proud of myself in my entire life."

"What I'm having a hard time understanding" Liam said slowly "is how you _accidentally_ eat a whole stock."

Shrugging indifferently, Niall responded. "Ops?"

"Good times." Louis said as he sat down on his chair.

"Literally." Niall smiled contently, and closed his eyes again. Louis continued to watch him as the makeup artist started carefully applying yeah, well, _something_ on Niall's face, but was then distracted by Sarah making an obvious cough for him to return his attention towards her instead. With an apologetic smile, he also closed his eyes and let the transformation begin.

xx

The show went really well. It was just as crazy as it always was, if not more. Louis would miss touring; he would miss he adrenaline you always felt when you entered the stage, the screams which made you feel like you would explode in the best way possible. Sometimes, Louis used to take a moment to just stare at the crowd and smile, reminding himself of why he was doing what he was doing. Their last show was seven days from now and at the same place where the tour had started - London. They were going there in a couple of days, given that they still had some unfinished business to attend to here in the US. However, Louis genuinely couldn't wait. He missed England so much it hurt. And, truthfully, he was also longing for the tour to end. It was all just becoming a bit too much to deal with lately.

Right now though, Louis was happy. With a big smile on his face, he entered the room where Niall and Liam were already talking cheerfully, obviously pleased about the night's performance.

"You were so good in "Kiss You"!" Niall complimented Liam. "Mate, I promise I saw girls literally fainting at the front."

Liam laughed that off, embarrassed. "I doubt that."

"No, I'm telling you! The old one and the brunette?" Niall looked at Louis. "Did you see?"

Louis walked over to Niall and started patting him comforting on the shoulder. "I'm afraid I missed it. Too bad. Must have been a sight to see someone else rather than yourself fainting over Liam's talent."

Niall laughed and scuffed Louis' hand off his shoulder. "Shut up."

"I can't believe there's only one show left." Liam said out of the blue, while staring down at his hands. "Time goes by so quickly."

"Yeah." Louis agreed. "It's insane."

"It really is." Niall said.

Yawning, Louis started to feel the adrenaline wearing off, and began to realise how tired he actually was. "Guys, I'm knackered. I think I'm going to bed, actually."

"What?" Niall exclaimed, with a horrified look on his face. "I thought we were all going out for a drink. Celebrating and stuff."

"Yeah, but" Louis took a deep breath. Really, he could come along, it wasn't like he wasn't _that_ tired. A cup of coffee and he'd be fine. The problem was that he truly didn't feel like it. "I'm sure the two of you will manage just fine without me."

Niall gave Louis a long look, because let's face it - it was true. The two of them had in fact been going out a lot on their own, sometimes because Louis didn't want to join, and sometimes because they never bothered to ask. Louis tried not to let it get to him, really, he did, but he was only human. At least, he never let it show. "But," Niall began hesitantly "we want you to come."

"Yeah, well, I don't want to go." Louis replied, probably more defensive than the situation required.

Niall continued to stare at him with a frown on his face. "Why not?"

"Because!" Louis exclaimed, sounding desperate. "Like, we have interviews and stuff tomorrow. Maybe I need a rest? Have you considered that?"

Swallowing, Niall removed the eye contact and stared down at his hands instead. He nodded slowly, as he was processing the information, while having a look on his face Louis couldn't quite put his finger on. "Fine."

"But," Liam said slowly, drawing Louis' attention to him. His eyes were big and hopeful, like all he wanted to do was fix the situation. Louis wished he wouldn't bother. "if you come with us, we'll have a story to tell tomorrow? I'm sure you'll have plenty of time to sleep next week."

It was an innocent proposition but Louis snapped anyway, no matter if Liam looked like a puppy or not. "Well, if that's how I like to work, Liam, that's up to me, okay? So if you're going to hold it against me, then leave the band."

With a hurt expression, Liam turned his head around and started to stare aimlessly at something behind Niall. Louis felt the guilt growing in his stomach; he really just wanted to give Liam a tight hug and whisper "it's not you, it's me" and actually meaning it, since well - it was sadly enough true. The silence was becoming tortuous. Niall lifted his head and looked at Louis like he was about to say something but he never opened his mouth. It didn't matter though, because this time Louis could read his expression perfectly clear: _maybe you should leave the band_. And that was really all it took. Louis just had to get away.

"I'm sorry." Louis whispered, barely audible. "I'm gonna go. I, eh, I'll be right back."

Without giving them any time to answer, Louis quickly turned around and exited the room he had entered only a few moments ago, although significantly more happy. He wasn't going to be "right back", not that he actually expected Liam and Niall to believe him. Instead, he went through the long corridor which led him straight to the big exit, where there would be plenty of cars waiting. Louis could barely think as his legs continued to move him forward. All he could think about was what he wanted. And what he wanted was to get away. And to be with his family. But what Louis wanted more than anything else was someone who would put up with him; especially when he had troubles doing so himself.

He pressed down the doorknob and entered the late Friday night. New York was loud, cold and chaotic and Louis could practically feel the energy which was buzzing in the air. He spotted his own private taxi around the corner and made his was over, ignoring all of the curious looks he was given by the other people present.

"Don't ask." Louis said with a determined voice as he sat down in the backseat. The driver turned around with a confused look on his face but remained silent, just like he had been asked to.

xx

You'd think people would have been sleeping at 2 am, but no. Apparently, New York really is a city that never sleeps. In fact, there were people surrounding Louis everywhere as he stood alone with his gaze down at the floor, trying to look as normal as he possibly could. He wore a big hoodie over his head, accompanied by a grey beanie and sunglasses. People looked at him funnily, because _why the fuck would you wear sunglasses in March? It's fucking cloudy outside, you idiot_. Something which Louis couldn't have cared less about, since he needed a disguise and this was the best one he could come up with. And although there were few things Louis enjoyed doing more than meeting up with fans and taking photographs, it wasn't something he urged to do right now. People would have asked him questions and he wouldn't have been able to answer. If he couldn't even explain his actions to himself, then how would he be able to explain it to others? There was a line in front of him which was moving excruciatingly slowly, something which made Louis extremely impatient. He tapped his foot in the ground slightly hysterically when he felt something buzzing in his pocket. He grabbed his phone, read the massage and quickly typed a reply before he could change his mind. After pressing "Send", he shut it off so no one would try contacting him again.

From: Niall

_Mate where are you?_

From: Louis

_At the airport. Im going to london._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is always appreciated :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, c'mon c'mon, and read with me, baby!

From: Zayn

_I just arrived. Ill wait at starbucks_

From: Harry

_Alright zayney, i should be there within an hour. See you soon !_

From: Zayn

_I dont think one hour counts as soon harry. Ugh im sooo bored, drinking coffe isnt nearly as fun as it looks like. And it doesnt even look fun at all_

From: Harry

_At least youll look cool. You can take a photo for your tumblr being all like "err whadup im zayn, i take cool photos for my followers cuz im so hot #sexyhipstergod" idk, just seems like a thing youd do, no offence. And about the being bored thing, you could try drinking it upside down or something?_

From: Zayn

_(Ignoring that comment..) Drink it upside down?? Are you serious right now? Cuz honestly if you are im going straight home right now. Jesus fucking christ_

From: Harry

_No im only joking hahahaha. And yeah right "you're going home", empty threats dont work on me!! I know you cant wait to watch liams dick live_

From: Zayn

_Somehow i cant find it in me to deny that._

 

Harry reread their text conversation a couple of times, chuckling out loud every time he did so. There was an old woman sitting in front of him who occasionally gave him curious looks, something which Harry was completely oblivious of. His I-pod was still playing One Direction on shuffle, and Harry was completely lost in his own world, which mostly consisted of unrestrained excitement and a repressed nervousness. The two emotions were so present in Harry's body, battling for dominance, that he could hardly sit still. He went to the toilet approximately six times simply because of the desire to move his feet. When he was at the toilet for the first time, the song "C'mon C'mon" started playing loudly on his I-pod and he started dancing slightly in front of the mirror, just subtly moving along side with the music. But when the song reached the chorus however, he was busting all of his favorite moves shamelessly.

"Yeah, I've been watching you all night. There's something in your eyes. So, c'mon c'mon, and dance with me, baby!"

Not that Harry wasn't used to dancing on toilets, it was a habit he usually did when he was drunk. Nick had caught him one time and, uh, that was quite embarrassing. This time, Harry urged to scream his lungs out like he usually did in the shower, but given he was on a train - he remained silent. Just when the song reached the seconds verse, he became instantly paranoid and stopped abruptly right in the middle of a dance move. _What if this toilet got security cameras?_ Wide eyed, Harry searched through the toilet frantically but found nothing. _Puh_. And that had been somewhat like a wakeup call, Harry pulled himself together and exited the toilet with a big smirk on his face. The old woman gave him a long look as he sat down while looking out through the window with an exceptionally pleased look on his face. Since Harry repeated this action six times, the old woman also came to the wrong conclusion six times. If Harry had been aware of this, he would have been terribly embarrassed. But since he was blissfully unaware, all was good.

The first thing regarding the outside world that Harry actually noticed was when the speakers called out his final destination. After taking a deep breath, he removed his earplugs from his ears and stood up to take his suitcase with shaking hands. _Relax_ , Harry constantly reminded himself, _everything will be fine. Zayn is a good guy, you will get along just fine_. He walked towards the exit where there were plenty of people waiting, all eager to get off the train. Probably not as eager as Harry, but still eager. When the doors opened, Harry was squished between a middle aged couple, unable to move. Harry scuffed irritated, but managed to get outside of the train eventually.

The second his feet met the ground, his head flew up and he stared at the scene in front of him. Harry was positive he had never seen that many people at once in his entire life. Nodding in surprised appreciation, he took a firm hold on his suitcase and became a part of moving mass. He wanted to find Starbucks as soon as possible, but it was hard to get a proper look at anything when he could barely see what was in front of him. He turned around a couple of times but never caught a glimpse of it. After exhaling a heavy sigh, he kept on moving forward until he spotted a girl about his age texting with a Starbucks mug in her free hand. After making up his mind, he walked up to her.

"Eh, excuse me." He began uncertainly, not sure if she would pay any attention to him.

At the sound of his voice, the girl removed her focus from her phone onto Harry. Her eyes grew wide as she saw him, and a flush began to form on her cheeks. "Oh. Eh, hi." She said nervously. Harry offered her his most charming smile, perfectly aware of the affect he had on girls.

"Would you mind telling me where Starbucks is?" He asked while making a hand gesture towards her drink.

"Oh." The girl looked down at her Chai Latte. "Yeah, of course! It's eh," she turned around and started pointing at a big green sign across the platform "it's right over there!" 

The seconds Harry saw it, he nodded in response. "Right. Thank you."

The girl giggled a little bit as she shrugged and looked down at the ground. "You're welcome."

Harry gave her one last smile before turning around and making his way over to Starbucks, his heart beating ridiculously fast. _Relax, relax, relax_. When he finally reached the entrance, he took a moment to remind himself of the things he had already reminded himself of dozens of times. _Zayn is good guy. You will like him. He will like you. You will like each other. Everything will be great. You won't look stupid. Zayn will like you._

Before he could hyperventilate anymore, because let's face it - his comforting wasn't really doing that much, he opened the door and caught the strong smell of coffee, cookies and chaos. The line was outrageously long, but it only made sense Harry supposed. People wanted coffee and this was the place to get it. He stood on his tiptoes in hopes of catching a dark haired boy sitting somewhere nearby. He stood like that for a while, but only in vain because he couldn't see anyone even remotely similar. Starting to get paranoid, Harry considered all of the worst possible outcomes. _Was this all a big setup? Or what if he came and then left? What if his bad joke actually did scare him away?_ With an uncomfortable knot in his stomach, Harry started walking around the crowded Starbucks, but still without any success. When he had walked around in a circle for almost three minutes, he started to internally bully himself. _You're so fucking stupid, Harry! Why would you meet up with a complete stranger in London? Didn't your parents teach you anything? Well, obviously not. You thought you were going to see Louis Tomlinson live? Ha! That's funny._

When Harry had been at Starbucks for five excruciatingly long minutes without any succes, he let out a defeated sigh. Zayn wasn't here, that much was obvious. If he was, then he definitely would have spotted Harry by now. Admittedly, Zayn had only seen one picture of Harry and it had been taken two years ago, but still. Harry had told him his trademark was his curls, and how many curly male eighteen year olds were walking around in Starbucks with a suitcase in their hands and a searching look on their face? For five minutes? Well, not many at least.

"Damn it." Harry hissed under his breath. He had really wanted this entire thing to go as smoothly as possible, and this sure wasn't the definition of the word "smooth". However, Harry wasn't going to give up that easily. If Zayn had in fact ditched him, then at least he'd have to face up to it. Harry grabbed his phone out of his pocket and unlocked the screen which showed the text conversation they had shared only some hour ago, although this time Harry wasn't laughing. Determined, he pressed down Zayn's contact and saw the "Call" button appear. Harry had still never talked to Zayn, he just guessed this would be the first time then, wouldn't it? After taking another deep breath, he pushed down "Call". Grabbing the phone to his ear, all he was capable of hearing was the repeating "beep" sounds. _Breath, breath, breath_. Just when he began to feel really nervous, he started hearing something which sounded embarrassingly familiar.

"Yeah, I've watching you all night. There's something in your eyes. So, c'mon c'mon and dance with me, baby!"

Surprised, Harry turned around and saw a phone vibrating on a table behind him. Moving closer, Harry could also see someone lying next to it, with its head on its arm, probably asleep. As the volume got higher, the person slowly raised its head and appeared to be confused as to what was happening. Removing the hoodie from its head, showing off his ink black hair, the person grabbed the phone into his hands with a surprised look on his face. After giving small cough to clear his throat, the person grabbed the phone to its ear.

"Hello?" Zayn's voice was low and uncertain, but Harry had never been more glad to hear anyone's voice in his entire life. Without really thinking, he instantly ended the phone call and quickly walked up to the table where Zayn was sitting, who appeared to be completely taken aback as to what had just happened. "Well, okay." He mumbled silently to himself as he put down the phone back on the table, not noticing Harry standing in front of him.

"Hi, Zayn!" Harry practically shouted, trying in no way to conceal his excitement. At the sound of his voice, Zayn jumped in his seat, startled at the sudden scream.

"Whoa!" Zayn exclaimed while waving his arms in the air, looking kind of like a cartoon character. He raised his head and saw with wide eyes Harry standing in front of him, looking ridiculously happy. "Christ. You scared me."

"I'm sorry." Harry said cheerfully, not actually being sorry at all. "I just thought you had set me up, so I was pleasantly surprised to see you here."

Zayn frowned and asked slowly, still not having grasped the situation in front of him. "Wait, why would I have set you up?"

"I don't know," Harry shrugged. "like, maybe you were just some creep on the internet who just wanted to be a pain in the ass? That happens."

"Err, I suppose, but -" Zayn shifted in his seat, so he sat up straight "I don't think I would have put up with all of your Louis bullshit if I was just going to trick you to London. I mean, for absolutely _no_ reason."

"Nah, I suppose." Harry smiled sheepish. "That's what I thought, too. It's not like I would have come at all otherwise."

Zayn stared at Harry, with his mouth slowly twitching into a smile which then developed into a full blown laughter. "Honestly, Harry! Did you really think I was just sitting at home like rubbing my hands together and being all like: _good, good, everything is going according to plan. The subject - an innocent teenage boy, thinks he will see the popular boy band One Direction live, when in fact he is only to be set up at Starbucks, with nothing else but his broken dreams and a cup of coffee. Mission accomplished_." Zayn was literally laughing so much he was shaking now, while Harry stood awkwardly in front of him, not finding it nearly as amusing as Zayn did. He looked around him, hoping no one was watching them. When Zayn had relaxed, he took a deep breath and looked directly at Harry, still chuckling slightly. "Like, would that be my evil master plan? Because if it was, it would literally be the worst evil master plan in the history of evil master plans."

Harry stared down at the floor embarrassed. "I don't know, it's not like -" he raised his head to look at Zayn hesitantly "it's not like I've thought about it that much."

"Yeah, no I get it. I get it." With an amused smile on his lips, he made a hand gesture to the seat in front of him. "Would you like to sit down, or...?"

"Yeah." Harry confirmed and pulled out the chair and sat down on it. He put his hands on the table and began examining Zayn. So, Harry had been prepared for the fact that he would look good, but _damn_! The pictures didn't do him justice. His dark hair matched well with his equally as dark eyes which were framed perfectly by unfairly long eyelashes. Plus, he had cheekbones to die for. Basically, if Harry hadn't been so emotionally invested in someone else, he totally would have made a move. Harry desperately hoped his thoughts weren't too easy to read.

There was a small silence, like there were too things they wanted to say but didn't know where to start. Harry began by stating the obvious. "Soo, here we are."

"Here we are." Zayn repeated.

"Well, eh" Harry tried to think of something clever to say. "So, "C'mon, C'mon", huh? That's a catchy ringtone."

"Yeah," Zayn chuckled. "That's not my normal ringtone, though. Usually I have some Usher song. But I just figured it would be appropriate this week."

"True enough."

"Besides" Zayn added with as accusing look "I needed something to do. You took ages."

"Sorry about that. Not my fault, though."

"No, but you said you'd be here within one hour, and you ended up taking two."

"Really?" Harry's eyebrows went up. "Huh. Didn't notice. The train must have been delayed then."

"Presumably." Zayn agreed.

Harry nodded and tried to think of something else to say. "You know, if you want Liam to like you, maybe you should start acting friendlier. I'm not sure I appreciated that the first thing you did was laugh at me."

"Sorry about that." Zayn laughed again, not seeming sorry at all. "I'll work on it."

Harry smiled sheepish down at the table. "Thanks."

Zayn leaned back in his seat while twisting his hands together, appearing to be almost nervous which surprised Harry slightly. He looked at Harry uncertainly, choosing his words carefully. "This is sort of weird, isn't it?" He asked out of the blue.

"Eh, I guess." Harry admitted while shrugging. "But personally, I have just gotten to the point where I don't really care if it's weird or not anymore. I just go with it."

"That's probably a healthy attitude." Zayn agreed. "Better than stopping to think about it and realising you're insane."

"At least we'll be insane together." Harry gave Zayn his most comforting smile.

Zayn rolled his eyes. "I'm so glad I'm here with you, oh great stranger from the internet."

Harry gave Zayn a long look before answering. "You say that sarcastically, but I actually _am_ glad that I am here with you" Harry mimicked Zayn's voice " _oh great stranger from the internet_." Harry shuddered at the idea of being here with Nick or, even worse; Perrie. Just anyone who wouldn't appreciate the sacred thing they were to experience.

Zayn's expression changed from mocking to fond, and he gave Harry a small, but genuine smile. "Don't worry about it, Harry. So am I."

At that, Harry's face immediately lit up. "Great."

Suddenly, Zayn reached out to touch Harry's hair unexpectedly. "Your hair really is curly."

"Wasn't lying about that, no."

Zayn removed his fingers from Harry's hair and placed his hands on the table with a pointing look at Harry. "Well, as much as I hate to ruin our little moment, but as I just said, I've been sitting here for literally two hours now. To be perfectly honest, I wouldn't mind leaving."

"Oh, right." Harry said and quickly stood up. "Of course."

Zayn followed his lead and made a gesture towards the queue. "Unless you want to buy something?"

Harry turned around and saw that the line was just as long as before. "No, I'm good."

"Right. Let's get out of here, then."

The two boys exited Starbucks, both with their luggage firmly in their hands. Harry kept sneaking peeks at Zayn, still not completely over the fact that he was so ridiculously hot. They decided to make their way over to their hotel, which was easier said than done. Neither one of them had been in London before, so they were equally as confused by the subway, or "The Annoying Maze" as Zayn liked to refer to it as. They had to stop for directions more than once, and it was always Harry who had to do it since Zayn flat out refused. Harry never would have guessed Zayn to be of the shy sort, but he assumed that only came to prove how little they actually knew about each other.

It took them about one hour to reach their hotel. It was located slightly outside of Notting Hill, not particularly central but still sufficiently so. It was situated at the corner of a narrow alley, and it took Harry and Zayn a moment to find it.

"Eh," Zayn said as they walked side by side on the sideway "I should probably let you that this is no five star hotel, exactly."

"That's alright." Harry reassured. "Wasn't really expecting it to be, either."

"Good." Zayn laughed, sounding relieved. "Because I may have booked the cheapest one I could find. Given that we'll be staying for nine days, I couldn't exactly afford anything expensive."

"Oh." Harry looked at Zayn surprised. "Well, that makes sense I guess. Wouldn't consider myself that rich either."

"Good." Zayn repeated. "Not like we'll be at the hotel that much anyway."

They spotted a small sign in front of them, which declared it to be their hotel. Underneath was an absurdly normal looking door. If Harry hadn't know better, he would have guessed it was only an ordinary apartment door.

"Is this it?" Harry asked, turning his head to look at Zayn who stared at the door with a puzzled look on his face.

"Well, I think so." Zayn replied uncertainly, as he opened the front door. He stepped inside, and Harry followed his lead. The inside looked like an old fashioned garage, which hadn't been used in ages and missing a car. With a frown on his face, Harry scanned the area, not exactly pleased with what he saw.

"At least you weren't lying when you said it wasn't a five star hotel." Harry said slowly. He might have been wrong, but he thought he saw a mouse running away in the right corner.

"No, I definitely wasn't lying." Zayn confirmed. He walked forward to lean his body against the empty reception. "Isn't there anyone working here?"

Harry joined him by his side, and called out. "Hello? Anybody there?"

He was just about to shoot Zayn a questioning look, when a short, old man came into view. He appeared to be around 60, having white hair and a grey shirt with grey pants. Not much for colours then, apparently. At the sight of them, he smiled courteously and walked from the doorframe to the reception, facing the two boys.

"Hello, there." He said, his voice sounding polite and friendly. "What can I help you with?"

"We have reservations." Zayn said.

"Right." The man said and started to pull out a pack of paper which laid messily on top of each other. "You'll have to excuse the mess." He chuckled as his fingers searched through the papers. He looked up. "And what's your name, sir?"

"Malik. Zayn Malik."

"Mr. Malik. Right." Harry strummed his fingers impatiently on the table as the old man continued his search for the right documentation. It had been a long day, and Harry started to get really hungry. When the old man finally found the right paper, he looked so unreasonably happy that Harry couldn't help but to roll his eyes. "There! I got it!"

"Great." Zayn replied sarcastically.

"Isn't it?" The man agreed enthusiastically , completely oblivious to Zayn's sarcasm. He put on a pair of glasses which laid next to him to closely examine the paper. "Let's see. It would appear like you will be staying in room 203."

"Cool."

"I just have to find the key, then." The old man looked up from the paper and offered them a quick smile before leaving them alone again. "If you would excuse me."

"Sure."

Harry and Zayn looked at each other curiously as they waited for the old man to return with their key. He took a while longer than they anticipated, but when he finally arrived, he had an incredibly pleased look on his face.

"Found it!" He said proudly as he put the key down on the table.

"That's great." Zayn replied hesitantly, while picking it up. "We'll just go to our room then."

"Of course." The man nodded. "However, I wouldn't use the elevator. A poor girl got trapped the other week and it was a rather nasty experience. The stairs I could recommend, though."

Harry took a hold on his luggage and walked towards the sign which said "Stairs", after giving the old man one last look. "Thanks for the heads up. Appreciate it."

"Don't worry about it!" The old man chuckled, and added happily. "Enjoy you stay!"

"We will, thanks." Zayn said and followed Harry.

Harry carefully opened the door and entered the staircase, which was so tight you could hardly squish your way forward. "Jesus." He muttered under his breath, as he began to pull his luggage up the stairs which turned out to be quite the struggle. When he had gone for about five steps, he turned around to look at Zayn with an amused look on his face. "Aren't you usually supposed to sign something when you check in, or is that just me?"

Zayn shrugged. "I dunno, man. I just don't think that man really knew what was up or down."

"True that." Harry laughed, and continued to make his way upwards. "He did appear to be kind of high or something."

"We should ask him for some pot later, I think." Zayn said seriously behind him. Not knowing whether or not Zayn was joking, Harry just laughed that off.

"Yeah."

When they got to their floor, which was equally as tight as the hallway with a bleached yellow colour on the wall, they immediately spotted their room and entered. It was a little room with a double beg positioned in the middle and a minimal refrigerator in the left corner. The room was bitingly cold, appearing to have no heating what so ever. Therefore, Harry didn't remove his jacket at he made his way forward to continue his examination. To his great relief, there was also a bathroom to the right, which completely redefined the word "tiny". The walls had an ugly pink-greyish colour, even worse than the one out in the hallway. Something which Harry wouldn't have thought to be possible only one minute ago. But apparently, it was. Looking around the room, Harry wasn't sure if he had ever seen an uglier room. But then he caught Zayn also examining the room with sceptic eyes, clearly not approving of what he saw, and suddenly Harry felt better. If Zayn was here, everything was perfect.

"Well," Harry said, drawing Zayn's eyes to him as he flew his arms up in the air "home sweet home!"

Zayn's laugh developed from sounding somewhat genuine into sounding purely hysterical. He then face palmed himself and began to actually fake sob. "I'm so sorry, Harry. If I had known the walls would have been puke coloured, I wouldn't have chosen this hotel."

Harry shrugged. "It's alright."

"They should have a warning though." He hissed. "On their website!"

"How would that sound? _Warning: the colours of our walls may cause to want to commit suicide just to escape their hideousness_. " Harry stopped and looked at Zayn pointedly."Like that? Somehow I doubt they would have attracted any costumers if they did."

"It's not like they attract that many costumers anyway. I have a feeling we're the only ones here."

"Don't worry, Zayn. I'm sure there are two creepy twin girls on this floor as well."

Zayn's eyes flew open, immediately understanding Harry's "The Shining"-reference. "Shut up, Harry! Don't say shit like that!"

"Sorry." Harry smiled apologetically.

Zayn shook his head in disbelief but seemed to forgive Harry anyway. In return, Harry offered him a big, goofy smile since he had plenty of reasons to be happy:

He was in London.

He hadn't lost his luggage or something equally as stupid.

He was with who he liked to refer to as his best friend, although that might not be the case.

And most importantly, he was seeing the love of his life in exactly one week. A.k.a. seven days, 168 hours or 10080 minutes. Or the way Harry saw it - 10080 minutes too far away.

Even so, Harry had plenty of reasons to smile. Still, he was surprised when he noticed Zayn was beaming back at him. "You know what we should do today?" Zayn asked mischievously.

"What?" Harry asked, still grinning.

"Get as far away from this bloody hotel as possible, and get drunk."

"I think that sounds marvellous."

And thus began Harry's and Zayn's London adventure. If either one of them had known what was in store for them, they would have SLKHJLDKHLKALKAJPMSGHDJ. Basically.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit, guys. Completely irrelevant to the story, but I bought a 1D ticket last night and I will be seeing them live in fucking THREE DAYS. And it's just so surreal because I honestly thought I wasn't going to see them. It's a good thing I wrote this chapter before then because I really can't focus on anything else. 
> 
> But enough of that. Let's see what Zarry and Louis are up to! :)

_Here we fucking go!_ Harry thought determinedly as he poured down his forth shot of vodka down his throat. In his peripheral vision, he could see Zayn mirroring his actions. The strong alcohol went straight to his brain and he shook his head for some reason, like it would help him regain some control.

"Iiih!" Harry said trough his teeth as he forcefully put down the glass next to the other ones, plus the beers which were all were empty by now. Things might be getting a bit out of control, but for some reason, Harry didn't mind too much. He'd mind tomorrow, but not right now. Not while Zayn was sitting in front of him, looking like a tortured idiot as he made himself swallow the last bit of the cheep vodka. "That's refreshing!"

Zayn exhaled a heavy breath while he gently put down the glass on the table and wiped his lips with the back of his hand. "Refreshing?" He repeated skeptically while looking at Harry. "Really? You think?"

The two boys were sitting in a crowded bar somewhere near Picadilly Circus. After they had eaten at some Indian restaurant somewhere nearby, they had walked around aimlessly for a while before finding a spot which looked both comfy and cheap. They were now currently sitting facing each other, only with a small table in between them. There was a buzz in the air from all of the people talking around them, but Harry was hardly aware. He'd gotten to the point where he couldn't focus on more than one thing. And that one thing was Zayn and his booze (alright, so two things, then).

"Well, yeah" Harry argued, waving his two hands around in the air while making his point "you see, Zayn, it is refreshing. It is refreshing because it, eh, it makes you go " _whoah!_ ""

Zayn furrowed his eyebrows together and gave Harry a puzzled look. "I don't think you know what refreshing means, Harry."

"Sure I do!" Harry exclaimed. "It's like it could be water, you know? Transparent and stuff? Both starts with a "w"-sound. And like, water is refreshing."

Okay, so Harry was officially not making sense any more.

"That's fucking irrelevant, though." Zayn stated. "Just because you found similarities between vodka and water doesn't make vodka refreshing."

"Yeah, I know." Harry admitted sheepish. "I'm just really, really drunk. You'll have to forgive me."

Harry looked at Zayn pleadingly who gave in. "Well, no shit, you're drunk. And yeah, I forgive you."

With a big smile, Harry said. "Thank you!" He rubbed his hand through his hair. "Why were we even talking about that?"

"I don't know?" Zayn shrugged. "What would you like to talk about, then?"

"Well, hmm." Harry contemplated the question carefully, wanting to find the best subject possible. He put his elbow on the table and rested his chin in his hand as he stared out at the crowded bar with his eyebrows pulled together, deep in thought. Absentmindedly, he heard Zayn strumming his fingers impatiently on the table, waiting for an answer. Then it struck him. He removed his face from his hand and bent it slightly to the side and smiled as he exhaled a content sigh. "Louis."

Zayn rolled his head back and let out a cheerful laugh. "Yeah, of course. What else?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Harry muttered childishly and pouted his lips.

"Ha!" Zayn snorted. "You know what I mean."

"It's just -" Harry put both of his hands on the table, shook his head thoughtfully and looked at Zayn with big eyes. "What do think he's doing right now?"

"Right now? Well." Zayn considered it for a moment while Harry continued to stare at him with a small, patient smile on his lips, waiting for an answer. "Isn't their last show in America today? In New York, I think."

"Ah, right!" Harry smiled largely and nodded enthusiastically. "So, he's performing then?"

"Don't know about that. Given the time difference, it's probably already the middle of the night there by now."

"Ah, right!" Harry continued to smile encouraging. "So, he's sleeping then?"

"Jesus Christ, Harry, I don't know!" Zayn exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. "What do I know? He could be asleep, he could be having sex, he -"

"Hey!" Harry interrupted with a frown on his face, causing Zayn to stop midsentence with a questioning look on his face. Something ugly curled inside of Harry's stomach, even though he couldn't be more aware of the fact that it was completely irrational.

"What?"

"You can't just - Like." Harry stared down at the table with a hurt expression. "Don't say that kind of stuff in front of me. Honestly, I really don't want to think about that. I mean, do you want me to start crying? Is that what you want? _Is it?_ "

Carefully, Harry looked up from the table onto Zayn, hoping he hadn't embarrassed himself too much. But instead of finding Zayn looking at him mockingly like you could expect, he found him looking at him with a gentle look that was both reassuring and understanding. He started stroking his hand up and down Harry's arm. "I understand. Really, I do. I'll think before I speak the next time."

"Thanks. I appreciate that. " Harry smiled slightly and continued hesitantly. "Besides, you don't actually think he is, you know, eh, doing that, right?"

Zayn got the hint immediately. "No!" He denied while shaking his head vigorously. "No, no, of course not! He's probably really tired after the show. I'd bet he's sound asleep right now."

"Yeah, yeah." Harry nodded in agreement. "That's what I figured as well."

"And it's not like he's seeing anyone, either. So, no. Definitely not."

"Yeah, you're right. And thank goodness for that!"

Zayn gave Harry an amused smile. "You know the only person Louis want near his cock is you, Harry."

"Yeah," Harry smiled sadly at Zayn's attempt to sheer him up "as much as I'd love to believe that, Louis is unfortunately straight."

"Really?" Zayn raised one eyebrow. "You honestly believe that?"

"I don't know what to believe." Harry confessed. "Like, everyone says he's straight, you know, but he doesn't particularly act like it. It's like my brain is telling me that he is, but my heart is telling me that he isn't."

"Personally, I don't believe for a second that he's straight. I mean, have you ever seen him look at a girl and actually liking what he saw?"

"No." Harry admitted, smiling goofily.

"Like 99% of the time, he just looks uncomfortable. So no, I don't think he plays for the other team."

"You honestly think that?"

"I _honestly_ think he would be lucky to have you."

"Thank you." Harry blushed and started giggling. "I like to think so too."

Zayn sighed heavily, suddenly sounding distressed, and looked at Harry pointedly. "You're lucky, you know that right? I mean, there is no way in hell that Liam is gay. Trust me, I can tell these sort of things."

"Well," Harry tried hard to think of something that would cheer up Zayn "I don't know about that. I mean, you never know, right? I wouldn't give up that easily if I were you."

"I appreciate your effort, but I'm pretty sure." Zayn took a deep breath and then added. "Besides, if Liam actually was gay, wouldn't he and Louis already be fucking then? Just seems like the appropriate thing to do."

Harry considered this for a moment before he spoke. "No, you're probably right. Liam is most definitely straight."

Zayn rolled his eyes and hit Harry lightly on his arm, causing him to wine out loud. "Idiot." Zayn muttered.

"Ouch." Harry pouted, and started patting his arm."It's not like a have a shot anyway. I mean, what are the odds of me just casually running into him and being all like: " _Hey, Louis! It's me, Harry, your soul mate! Marry me?_ " And him being all like: " _Sure! Let's do that!_ ""

Harry looked at Zayn pointedly, raising one eyebrow.

"Pretty non-existent." Zayn agreed.

"Exactly." Harry sighed, his previous happy mode now completely gone. Zayn could tell, so he once again entered his "good friend cheering up sad friend"-mode.

"But don't put yourself down, Harry! Sure, I doubt he'll want to marry you right away but that doesn't mean he won't be interested at all. You've told me yourself that you can be quite charming when you mean to."

Harry listened intently to Zayn's speech, taking in every word, before nodding determinedly. "You know what, Zayn? You are absolutely right." He looked directly at Zayn who raised his eyebrows at the sudden intensity in Harry's voice. "If I by any chance run into him, and I don't care how unlikely it is, I will fucking get him. I will fucking convince him to pay attention to me, whatever the price. I don't care what he says or does, I will make him. And that are not empty words; that's a goddamn _promise_!"

Zayn looked at Harry amused. Even if a lot of what he said was due to the alcohol, he did seem to mean every word. "I think that sounds like a good plan."

"Damn straight it's a good plan." Harry stated firmly. "When do you think they'll arrive in London? You know, so that we can" Harry raised his fingers to do air quotes" _"casually"_ run into them."

Shrugging, Zayn replied. "No idea. Pretty sure they won't be here until a couple of days, though. If that."

"We'll have to check our Tumblrs then, to know what's up." He then pointed a finger at Zayn "And _you_ will help me pick an outfit. Can't run into them being dressed like a hobo."  


"When are you ever dressed like a hobo?" Zayn laughed.

"All I'm saying is that it we were fortunate enough to meet them, I'd rather look my best."

"Of course. And I'll help you."

"Thanks." Harry smiled down at the table, and then up at Zayn with a shy expression. "I just-"

He never finished his sentence, but sighed and stared out into the crowd of people, shaking his head thoughtfully. "You what?" Zayn encouraged.

"I just want him to be happy, you know? And I know that sounds awfully cheesy but it's true. And it doesn't even have to be with me, although preferably it would."

There was a moment of silence. Harry carefully watched Zayn, waiting for his reaction. With a surprised tone, he replied. "Okay. And what exactly made you say that all of the sudden?"

"I don't know, I-" Harry shrugged and removed eye contact "I just have this feeling that he's not and I don't like it."

When Harry looked back at Zayn, he was surprised to see him smirking. "And here I was, thinking you only wanted to fuck him senseless."

"Well," Harry broke into a big grin, and looked at Zayn with a spark in his eyes "that too."

Zayn and Harry both laughed stupidly, the light hearted mode being back. Maybe it was only the alcohol or the fact that they were in London, both of them miles away from their homes, but Harry couldn't remember a single time when he had enjoyed himself this much in a very long time. This sudden rush of affection made Harry all giddy in a new but welcomed way. Surely enough, Harry could hardly think straight and wasn't really sure of what he was even talking about most of the time. Even so, he was still more than 100% positive of the fact that he wanted nothing more than to lean forward and give Zayn a long hug and tell him he deserved all the love and happiness in the world. Not in a romantic way or anything, just as friends. He was just about to tell him as much when he was interrupted by a female voice.

"Excuse me?"

Harry averted his eyes from Zayn and looked to his left where he saw two nervous looking girls standing. They were both attractive, the one who had spoke was a lean brunette with short hair, and tanned skin, while the other was Asian, with long black, silk hair and an impressively made eye makeup.

With the goofy smile still on his lips, he looked at them expectantly. "Yeah?"

The two girls gave each other a short look, before the brunette cleared her throat and smiled almost insecurely at Harry. "Hi. So, uh, this might sound a bit odd but, we were just sitting over at the bar" she made a hand gesture towards it, and Harry's eyes followed, like he didn't already know where it was "and we saw you guys sitting here talking, and we just thought maybe we could buy you a drink or something?"

Harry's eyebrows flew up. Is that the way it worked in London? The girls asking the guys if they wanted drinks? Well, if it was, Harry supported it fully. Feminism all the way! Or, eh, something. Whatever it meant, Harry supported it! He was just about to open his mouth to tell them that they'd love to, when he remembered what had happened the last he had led another girl on. How angry Perrie had gotten, and what a disaster it had all ended up like. Harry had promised himself not to end up in a situation like that ever again. Therefore, he replied reluctantly. "That sounds so lovely, really it does. But, we are going to have to recline that. Sorry." When Harry saw the way they seemed to get disappointed, and looked down at the floor embarrassed, he quickly added. "Don't worry, though. It's not you, it's us!"

Harry looked at Zayn exasperatedly, hoping for some backup. In response, Zayn nodded feverishly. "Yeah, yeah, definitely. It's us. Definitely us." He offered the girls an encouraging smile and gave them a thumbs up. "You guys are fine."

The two girls seemed confused as to what was going on, and the brunette picked up the courage to speak. "Really?" Her tone wasn't bitchy or anything, but rather careful and curious. "What is it then?"

"Eh, well." Harry began, not sure how to put it. Because he had an annoying, life ruining obsession with a celebrity, and it didn't matter how beautiful and charming anyone else were because they would still never compare, and Harry didn't want to give out false hopes. Instead of actually saying that, he turned to Zayn again, begging for some assistance.

Unfortunately, Zayn looked just as lost as Harry felt as he still watched the two girls. He then turned to Harry and seemed to consider something before he put his hand on Harry's and returned his gaze to the two girls. With a firm and unfaltering voice, he said. "Because we're a couple."

It was hard to tell who was the most startled. The Asian girl - whose defined eyes were ridiculously wide and her mouth open, the brunette - who squeaked and smiled happily down at Harry and Zayn like they were the cutest thing she had ever seen, or Harry who sat stiff in his chair, staring down at his hand which was covered by Zayn's, trying to regain some perspective because _wait what?_

"That's so cute!" The brunette said, still looking unreasonably happy. "You guys are honestly the most adorable couple I have ever seen."

For some reason, Zayn seemed to genuinely appreciate the compliment, and beamed back at her cheerfully. "Thanks!"

Harry, being the lousy liar that he was, remained silent.

For the first time, the Asian girl decided to speak. "Ugh, I knew it!" She cried out, while slamming her hand on her legs. She seemed to talk more to her friend rather than Harry and Zayn. "Damn it! It's always like that! If a guy is insanely hot -" she turned to look directly at Harry and Zayn now "which, by the way, you guys are; they're always either taken or gay. And of course, you're fucking _both_!"

She looked accusingly at them like it was their fault, and Zayn chuckled embarrassed. "Yeah, uh. Sorry about that."

"And I'm technically bi." Harry offered truthfully, while flickering his eyes between Zayn and the girl. "If that helps."

"Harry, sweetheart" Zayn said, while gently squeezing his hand "I really don't think that helps at all."

Harry shrugged, trying to give his "at least I tried"-look. He looked away from Zayn and saw the brunette still smiling cheerfully, as she put a hand on her friends shoulder.

"You'll have to excuse my friend. Bad experiences." She gave them a look like they knew exactly what she was talking about, before continuing. "Anyway, we will leave you to it then." She took a hold on her friends arm and began dragging her away, while winking non discretely at them. "Bye!"

She was still beaming happily back at them as they made their way back onto the bar, and Zayn and Harry waved awkwardly back. The minute the two girls turned around, Zayn removed his hand. "Jesus Christ." He mumbled.

"Yeah." Harry agreed and then suddenly remembered something and pointed to the two girls at the bar. "Hey! You heard what she said right?"

Zayn gave Harry a puzzled look. "What do you mean?"

"The part where she said if someone was insanely hot, they were either gay or taken?" He explained.

"So?"

"Soo, Louis is not taken which can only mean one thing!"

Harry laughed happily while Zayn rolled his eyes dramatically before covering his face in his hands. "You're an idiot." He muttered.

And it really didn't matter a shit to Harry that Zayn had just insulted him, because he was just about to get up and go buy another shot for the two of them. After, when he had watched Zayn force it down painfully, he would tell him all about how he deserved all the love in the world etc. Maybe he would hug him too. (And if the two girls were watching, maybe he'd hug him a bit tighter, just for the show.)

xx

When Harry woke up the next day, his head was spinning and he felt nauseous. He hadn't even opened his eyes when he started regretting the last night endeavor. Groaning inwardly, he slowly opened his eyes and realised he was lying in the double bed, with his left arm around Zayn who was still sleeping soundly. He shifted slightly so that he could see Zayn's face, which was completely dozed off. Carefully, he released his grip around Zayn so that he could lay on his back and stare up at the ceiling.

While taking heavy breaths, he started replaying the scenarios which had take place last night. Zayn and him had stayed at the bar for a while longer, but had decided to leave when the brunette girl had reappeared and asked to take a photograph with them, which was fine, but then she started asking about their sex lives which was wrong on so many different levels that they just had to escape as quickly as possible.

After, they had walked around the city, searching for an appropriate club they could attend. It took them about an hour, but they finally found one they considered worthy. They stayed for about three hours, dancing and taking more shots ( _bad idea_ , Harry thought regretfully, as his head started aching even more). Harry did what he usually did when he was drunk, which was dancing on toilet. This time, to Harry's delight, he had also managed to get Zayn to join him. Apparently, he didn't need much persuading. Eventually, they started singing "What Makes You Beautiful" really loudly together, which made the other residents on the toilet quite infuriated. One of them had asked in an annoyed voice if they were gay, to which they had replied " _yes_ ", like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Getting home was the tricky part for Harry and Zayn. Both of them were so wasted they could hardly walk straight, therefore much less find their way in the biggest city in Britain. Somehow, they managed though. Harry couldn't quite recall how, but he had vague memories of a group of teenagers and a dog. How these were related he did not know. But what he did know was that he had to get out of this bed before he threw up.

Slowly, so that he wouldn't get overwhelmed by the sudden movement, Harry made his way out of the bed. He was particularly careful not to wake Zayn up. He had told him he liked to sleep in and that's what Harry intended to let him do. Even if was already 2 p.m. by now. He made his way to the bathroom, where he abruptly stopped in front of the mirror. Basically, he looked exactly as he felt; like a mess. His complexion was pale, he had obvious bags under his eyes and his hair was dirty and kind of disgusting. Sighing heavily, he felt the nausea returning, and even worse than before. But not wanting to wake Zayn up by the sound of him puking, he exited the bathroom again. There was a toilet down at the reception, which was not only was bigger and cleaner but also not surrounded by walls that certainly didn't contribute to his recovery. At the moment, Harry was only in his boxers, which was really, freaking cold, so he put on a t-shirt, a beanie and socks. He looked down at his annoyingly tight, black trousers that laid on the floor beneath him but the mere thought of squeezing his way into those made him sight out in distress. Instead, he let them lay abandoned on the floor and made his way to the door, without any pants. Harry wondered if he had ever felt or looked more disgusting. But whatever. It's not like he was going to run into anyone he knew, or anything.

xx

**Louis POV**

 

From: Niall

_WHAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME_

From: Niall

_Seriously mate call me right now!_

From: Niall

_Louis??? This better be a joke !_

From: Niall

_Damn it louis if you dont call me back soon for fucks sake_

From: Liam

_Hi! Niall told me youre going to london? Hes joking right? Call me!_

From: Mum

_Hi boobear! You never called me. Is everything alright?_

From: Mum

_Louis? Why arent you answering? Should i be worried? You know i cant sleep when im worried._

 

Louis didn't know what was worse; his mother's concern or his band mates anger. The flight had gone alright given that he was really used to flying by now, having gone on a world tour and all. Plus, he had entered it in the middle of the night so he'd spent most of the time sleeping. Nevertheless, he felt completely drained and unbelievably exhausted as he looked down at his phone which was filled with missed calls and unanswered text messages. If Louis had ever wanted to take a break from life, it was now more than ever.

He was waiting by the luggage reclaim, desperately hoping no one would recognise him. Just because he'd managed to go unnoticed in New York didn't mean he'd be as lucky here. He was still wearing the same "disguise" as earlier, if you could call it that, a beanie and a big hoodie. There was a group of teenage girls to his right, and he was careful not to look that way. He held his phone firmly in his hands, knowing he should press down the right buttons, to write sentences that would calm down the people he cared about. Still, his fingers wouldn't do as they were told. Because in reality, Louis wasn't one who liked to face up to his problems. He was more of a "ignore until they go away" sort of guy. Therefore, he let the phone slip back into his pocket and started noticing how luggage was finally being transported out of the airplane. He let out a relieved sigh when he saw his own bag, which he had hastily packed, coming his way. With his head still bent down, he went to pick it up and quickly walked away. No one called out his name, and Louis was beyond thankful.

But reality called, and as much as Louis felt like it right now; you can't do everything on your own. Basically, he needed a place to crash and to drop off his stuff. He didn't even think before he once again picked up the phone from his pocket and pressed down the buttons he knew he wasn't really supposed to press. The phone rang for a little while, before someone answered.

"Hi, Louis!" Ed greeted cheerfully on the other side of the line.

"Hi." Louis replied, not quite matching up to his enthusiasm.

"What's up?"

"Well," Louis stared down at the ground "you're going to hate me, but I have a favor to ask from you. "

"Oh, no." Ed chuckled. "What are you up to this time?"

Louis scoffed indignantly. "Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you are always up to something. Don't forget I collaborated with you for a while. I know how you work."

Louis considered this, but decided it wasn't worth arguing about so he decided to drop it. Besides, Ed was probably right anyway. "Anyway, about that favour."

"What is it?"

"Before I tell you, you're going to have to promise not to tell Liam and Niall."

" _Louis_." Ed groaned, clearly displeased about that.

"Don't worry, though." Louis tried to reassure him. "I will tell them myself. Promise. I just want it to be me who's telling them, and not you."

There was a small pause before Ed spoke. "Fine."

"Great, thanks!" Louis exclaimed, but then realised he should probably keep it down so he lowered his voice again to the point where he was almost whispering. "Basically, what's up, is that I'm in alone in London and need a place to crash."

"No. Way."

Louis ignored Ed's input. "And I figured your apartment would be the perfect place." Ed didn't answer, and Louis began to feel really anxious. "Please? Pretty please?"

Louis could hear Ed sighing heavily. "Look, Lou." He said. "I would love to help out, really I would. But I'm going on tour tomorrow so I can't really have you crashing at my place. Maybe if you weren't so caught up in your own world you would have remembered that."

That did ring a bell, Louis thought. Still, he didn't even bother concealing his disappointment. "Oh. Right."

"Don't you have anywhere else you can go?"

"No. Not really." Louis answered. "I could sign in at a hotel but then the paparazzi would be there any minute and I'm not really in the mood for that right now."

"I understand." Ed said and there was another pause in the conversation and Louis felt more miserable than ever before. But then Ed spoke again. "I do think there's something we could do, though."

Louis' lips twitched up into a hopeful smile. "Yeah? What's that?"

"Well, I know this really shitty hotel. I doubt there will hardly be anyone staying there even. So, if you wanted to, I could drive you there."

"That's the best option I've got, isn't it?"

"I'd argue that the best option you've got is to fix whatever problem that made you end up in London alone in the first place. But, I mean, if you're not going to do that and won't check in at a fancy hotel, I guess this beats living on the streets."

Louis considered Ed's proposal before saying anything else. Naturally, he was right. He should just call Niall and Liam, and check in somewhere appropriate instead of hiding. However, the problem was that hiding was just what he felt like doing right now. He looked at his clock. Almost 2 p.m.

"So, what time can you come and pick me up?"


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys! Took me a while to write this due to overload in schoolwork. Wish I was exaggerating. And if anyone wonders; the 1D concert was amazing. Died a million times over. Again, wish I was exaggerating. 
> 
> Anyway, chapter eight, here we go! :)

The first thing Harry noticed as he entered the thankfully completely empty lobby was that it was raining quite furiously outside. Since the hotel manager was nowhere in sight, Harry stopped in the middle of the room and looked out through the windows while sighing heavily. He and Zayn had been planning on going on a London sightseeing tour today ( _"Did you know that the Big Ben is not actually the tower but the clock inside of it?"_ ) but maybe they'd skip that today and do it another time. Admittedly, Harry was rather at ease with that. Today just wasn't his day, he could feel it. 

With his bare feet against the cold floor, he walked towards the door right next to the reception with a toilet sign hanging above it, and entered. The bathroom was not as claustrophobically small as the one in his and Zayn's room, and that was deeply appreciated. Harry's initial dizziness had started to slowly wear off and his urge to puke had also faltered. After splashing some water onto his face, he began to feel more like himself rather than a zombie who had just arisen from the dead. Although he still sort of looked like one. But, well, well, what could you do? After peeing, Harry leaned against the cold wall for a moment and contemplated going outside in rain just for the free shower. But he thought better of it, since his hair and rain still equaled wrong. Instead, he continued to lean against the wall while taking deep breaths. He closed his eyes and started to think about something nice (guess what) with a content smile on his lips. Just when he was about to exit the bathroom and go upstairs to see if Zayn had woken up yet, he heard the front door opening outside and he immediately froze in his position. There were footsteps outside, which were followed by a quiet and confused "Hello?". However, Harry couldn't hear anyone answering. 

Groaning quietly, Harry leaned back with his face pressed against the wall. Why did this unknown person just happen to show up now, and not five minutes later? Well, Harry figured he'd just have to wait until the other person had left then, since it would be beyond awkward if he'd walk out of here looking like he did. In loss of anything else to do, Harry removed his face from the wall and pressed his ear against the door and could hear the person walking around outside. Soon he could hear the person, definitely male he noticed, speak again. "Anyone there?" But to Harry's great dismal, there was still no answer. 

There was only silence after that and Harry removed his ear to slide down onto the floor with back against the door. After sitting like that for a while, Harry wasn't sure how long since he hadn't brought a clock or anything, his patience ran out. There's only that much time you can sit hangover on a cold floor in a lousy hotel wearing only underwear and t-shirt before you reach your limit. And, yeah, Harry had reached his limit. Besides, he hadn't heard anything in a while so hopefully the other man had just left. And if not, no one has ever died from a bit embarrassment anyway. 

He pushed his way up, grabbed the handle and opened the door slowly and as quietly as possible, preparing himself for whatever would happen next. Biting his lower lip, he peaked his head out of the door frame hesitantly but was startled by the sight he was greeted with. Okay, so Harry wasn't sure exactly what he was expecting really, but somehow seeing a kind of short guy in grey sweatpant and a dark blue hoodie above his head which was laying buried on his right arm which was placed on the counter, like he had fallen asleep standing, wasn't a sight he was expecting. Raising his eyebrows, he stopped momentarily to examine the body which looked strangely familiar somehow, which was stupid. Maybe Harry was still a bit drunk or something. He pushed the door open further so that he could exit with his entire body, and that's when an involuntarily chuckle left his mouth. He wasn't even sure why he did it; maybe it was because he was currently feeling like a lame spy or because his entire life was just a joke and sometimes his body decided to laugh without his permission. Either way, he shouldn't have done it, because he second he did, it was like a shock ran through the other man's body and his head immediately popped up and he straightened his position to turn and face Harry. Cursing under his breath, Harry stared down at the ground before he mustered the courage to raise his head and look at the stranger who stared at him with intensely blue eyes. 

And

how

about

no?

And how about this is not happening?

And how about why didn't Harry just puke when he had the chance?

And it was like. Just. Hard to explain, but you know that feeling when you come home completely wasted one late Friday night and start jerking yourself off in the hallway, and your sister walks in on you? Yeah, awkward. Or when you walk around butt naked in your house and accidentally run into your sister and you just start reevaluating your entire life and all of the choices you've ever made, wondering what exactly that you had done that made you deserve this fate? Was it that one time that you lied and said you'd eat all of your vegetables although you just ended up throwing all of them away? Or when you got a new Play Station 2 as a Christmas present, but didn't fully appreciate it, being the spoiled little brat that you are? Harry wasn't sure, and would probably never know, but he still couldn't help but to wonder as he stood in his underwear, looking really hangover, staring back at his celebrity crush. 

And maybe if he hadn't been so over the top invested in this guy, maybe he wouldn't even have recognised him. Because standing in front of him now, he certainly didn't look like he normally did on photo shoots and interviews, all happy faces and nice, clean clothes. Instead, what Harry found was a rather tired looking Louis, with a shocked expression on his face, which had a slight stubble to it like he hadn't shaved in a while. His fringe was quite greasy, just like Harry's, and he had a beanie on top of it, just like Harry. And Harry didn't know it the world had stopped, because it certainly felt like it, or if it had just stopped existing, because it felt like that too. Either way, Louis Tomlinson was standing in front of him and he was the most beautiful person Harry had ever laid his eyes on. And he had absolutely no idea what to do. 

Should he run away? Should he sneak back into the toilet? Should he scream? Should he speak? Should he disappear? Should go down to his knees, grab a firm hold on his ankles and never let go? Should he breath? 

The last one seemed like the most realistic one, so Harry took a choked breath and stayed put, neither moving nor speaking. 

It was Louis who broke the silence. He rubbed his neck self consciously, and coughed before speaking in an uncertain voice which sounded more like a question than a greeting. "Hi."

Harry was still frozen in his position, unable to think, unable to feel. Or is numbness a feeling? Either way, his brain was slowly catching up as Louis' expecting stare was beginning to penetrate his body. Somehow, God knows how, he managed move his mouth. "Hi." He blinked a few times, and forcefully removed his eyes from Louis' face hoping for some better thought coordination, while shifting a bit in his space. It went alright. He just hoped his inner freak out wasn't too obvious. "Uhh," he drawled while rubbing his sweaty hands over his bare thighs, desperately hoping for something clever to say. His eyes found their way back to Louis, who was still staring at him like he couldn't believe what was currently taking place in front of him. Yeah, well, _join the club_. Without even thinking, Harry felt the need to defend and explain himself, so he raised his hands and said with desperation obvious in his voice "This is really not what it looks like." 

At that, Louis burst out laughing, making the crinkled by his eyes appear and _Jesus Christ_. Harry thought that only happened like _online_ , not in actual real life. But nope. Apparently, that was a thing that also happened for real as well. And sure, Harry was beyond 110% fine with that. It didn't make his belly squirm at all. Louis stopped laughing and looked at Harry with a big smile, which was still cool. Manageable. Capable. All perfectly suitable and accurate adjectives to describe Harry's current situation. No big deal or anything, really. "Mate, I'm not really sure what it looks like to be honest with you." 

"Well," Harry replied uncertainly, still having difficulties facing Louis' beaming face "me neither. But whatever it looks like, it's probably not what it is." 

"Alright," Louis laughed, sounding amused "whatever you say." 

And then something unexpected happened. So, Harry was to say the least hyperaware of the fact that he was in his boxers and his trousers were laying abandoned on the floor above him. None the less, Louis had kept his eyes pretty focused on his stupid, dumbstruck face. That is to say, until now. Without any warning, Louis' gaze slowly went down Harry's whole body, taking his time, and then returning up again with a small smile playing on his lips. And Harry could have sworn he lingered a bit longer at his, uhum, more exposed parts. The thing is that Harry knows when someone is checking him out. It has happened to him quite a lot in the past, to say the least. And that's when it hit him. 

Holy mother of God, did Louis Tomlinson just check him out? 

With a mischievous grin on his face, Louis raised his eyebrows up and down quickly, suggestively. "Nice legs." 

Holy mother of God, did Louis Tomlinson just flirt with him? 

"Uh, thanks." Harry's mind was going at one million miles per hour, screaming back at him _this is your chance, flirt back you idiot!_ And, well, Harry tried. Truly, he did. But not being able to think does complicate things. "You too." 

Harry hated himself. No but really, he did. If he could have face palmed himself without it looking weird, he would have. 

At least, it sent Louis into another round of giggles. Harry could only stare in awe at the scene unfolding in front of him. Somehow, he had made Louis laugh two times in less than two minutes. Admittedly more at him rather than with him, but still a victory none the less. When Louis had collected himself, he looked down at his loose, grey, dirty sweatpants. "Oh, I am most inclined to agree. These sweatpants certainly do bring out the best of me." 

Harry played along. "Grey is definitely your colour." 

"They bring out my eyes." Louis suggested. 

"Precisely." Harry confirmed. "Which are also quite nice, if I might add." 

Louis was still smiling his blinding smile, but somehow Harry was gaining some control of the situation. "Why, thank you unknown stranger from the toilet. How very kind of you to say. You're quite charming." 

For the first time, Harry was the one to smile sheepishly, while blushing furiously. It was quite ridiculous really. Shrugging, he replied. "Well, I try." 

"I bet you do." There was a small pause in the conversation while both of them sort of just stared at each other, both trying to contain their grins for respective reasons. That is to say until Louis made a head gesture towards the toilet with a questioning look on his face. "Soo..." He dragged out, looking at Harry expectantly, waiting for a response. However, Harry had no idea what to say and therefore remained silent. Louis coughed, and pushed the subject. "You were in there for quite some time, mate." 

"Yeah, I, uh," Harry replied, eloquent as ever. "Like I said earlier, it's still really not what it looks like." 

"And like I said earlier," Louis added. "I still don't know what it looks like." 

"Right, well." Harry pulled a deep breath and figured he might as well come clean. "Basically, I was in there because I was avoiding you." 

"You were avoiding _me?_ " Louis exclaimed indignant, while throwing his right hand dramatically to his chest. 

"No, no, no!" Harry quickly denied. "Not you as in _you_. Since, obviously, I didn't know that it was you so why would I have been avoiding _you_ , you know?"

Although, if I had know that it was you I probably never would have gone out at all, Harry thought but didn't say out loud. Anyway, he was rambling and it was embarrassing and Harry was stupid and why was this happening. Louis raised his eyebrows and nodded slowly, processing the information. "Right." 

"To be honest, I just wasn't that keen on the idea of bumping into anyone in my current state." 

Louis chuckled and shrugged. "Oops." 

"Oops." Harry repeated and nodded solemnly. 

"Any reason why you aren't wearing trousers two in the afternoon?"

Harry looked down at his pale, long, bare legs and blushed again. "Well, I usually do but, um. I, like. Me and my friends were out partying last night so I just woke up, and I simply wasn't in a mood for wearing them." Harry explained, like it made total sense.

"They can be quite uncomfortable." Louis agreed, and patted his own trousers. "Hence the sweatpants." 

"Exactly." Harry smiled widely back at Louis, thankful that he hadn't mocked his answer at least. Or maybe he had in some subtle condescending way, Harry wasn't sure. 

"Unfortunately for me though, I didn't bring any." 

"Tough luck. Happens to the best of us." 

Okay, yeah, Louis was definitely making fun of him. However, Harry couldn't bring himself to care. Not if it meant Louis kept talking to him, and looking so pleased with himself as he did. "It does, doesn't it?"

"Personally, I'm still waiting in fear for the time when it'll happen to me. I have a feeling it'll be soon."

"It strikes without warning." 

"Just like a tsunami." 

"And equally as terrifying."

"I can imagine. They should make a horror movie about it." 

Harry laughed out loud and shook his head because what the hell were they even talking about? Were they still talking about not bringing sweatpants? Or no? Harry couldn't think of a clever way to carry on with this conversation so he decided to change subject. 

"Yeah, exactly." Harry gestured his head to the reception, which Louis still stood leaning against."So, you've been standing here for quite some time, mate." 

Louis rolled his eyes dramatically before throwing his arms up and looked at Harry pointedly. "This is really not what it looks like." 

Again, Harry burst out laughing before the words even truly hit him. He was going to reply that he didn't know what it looked like, when it struck him that he genuinely had absolutely no idea what it did look like. He had been so caught up in the fact that he was in an unfairly embarrassing situation that he hadn't even stopped to question the fact that the internationally famous superstar, from the massively popular boy band One Direction, Louis Tomlinson, was alone without neither his band mates or security, at a shitty hotel in London. And wait a minute - 

Didn't One Direction perform in New York last night? How the hell did Louis get from America to England this quickly? And really, where were Liam and Niall? In the back of his mind, Harry considered the fact that Zayn would throw a fit when he found out that Louis was here but not Liam. He will probably die. It will be a tragic death. 

"You alright?" Louis asked, breaking Harry out of his trance. "You just kind of froze." 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Harry reassured hurriedly. "I'm fine." 

And this was the point where Harry really needed to stop and think. Obviously, he had considered this before but now that it actually came down to it, he needed to practically solve it. Basically just the essential question of every human being; how do you casually (the word "casually" is very important in this situation) let someone know you're their soul mate without creeping them out with the fact that you know absolutely everything about them, and spend every minute of every day thinking about them? 

Maybe Harry should wait a while before he lets him know that he listens to him sing when he falls asleep at night. Or that he thinks about him when he takes long showers, given that he didn't want to push his boundaries too far. Still, how does he let Louis know that he knows for a fact that he could definitely, without a doubt afford a place way better than this? How does he let him know that he keeps up with everything he does and therefore knows that he shouldn't be here right now? 

"But really, what's up?" Harry said, aiming for casual. What he actually meant was: what the hell are you doing here? Somehow, Louis almost seemed to hear Harry's unspoken question and stood in his spot, looking at Harry hesitantly for a while. When he did answer, it seemed to be rather reluctantly, as he shifted uncomfortably. 

"I don't know. Just waiting for someone to appear so I could be handed a key to a room." Okay, so Louis was clearly aiming for casual as well and he clearly did not in the slightest answer the question Harry was really asking. The air was thick, as the two boys stood facing each other. In the end, Harry only nodded, not wanting to push the issue. 

"Yeah, alright." 

Louis seemed relieved, as he exhaled a breath and removed his gaze from Harry to the empty reception. "Just wondering where the hell everyone is. I mean, I don't particularly want to wait all day. And I do need a place to sleep." 

Harry looked at Louis, pondering. This was really his chance and it might be the only one. Just because he shouldn't push one thing, doesn't mean he shouldn't push another. He took a deep breath. Should he go for it? No, yes, no, yes, no. No, he definitely shouldn't. Or should he? Oh, to hell with it, he was going for it. Really, how many times does life present you with a Louis Tomlinson looking for a place to stay?

"You could always stay at my place if you want." 

Shocked, Louis turned to look at Harry, and if his words weren't enough, the hungry and exposed look on his face did kind of speak for itself. There was a small silence as if Louis was considering it, and Harry knew he shouldn't get his hopes up but the heart beating in his chest had a life of its own. But to Harry's disappointment, although not surprise, Louis only shook his head and laughed again. "Nah, I think I'll manage. I appreciate the offer, though." 

Harry nodded, trying not to show his disappointment. "Anytime." 

As if on cue, the front door opened, causing both Louis and Harry to turn their heads. In walked the completely soaked hotel manager and Harry didn't know it he was pleased or disappointed by this sudden arrival. Louis on the other hand seemed quite relieved. When the old man noticed Louis leaning against the counter, he hurriedly made his way over. 

"Sorry about my absence. Had some errands to run." He said as he stopped behind the counter. His eyes moved from Louis to Harry to make a quick look over before returning his attention to Louis. 

"It's alright." Louis answered, smiling although his voice gave away a note of annoyance. "I'd like a room, please." 

And this was the point when Harry wondered if he perhaps should leave. That's what you normally do right, when you bump into someone? They have had their friendly small talk, and strangers don't normally stay and watch awkwardly while the other one talks to the manager, right? Yeah, Harry knew the appropriate thing would be to just leave and continue on with his life. But he also knew that was not a thing he intended to do. Come on, like he'd simply leave. He justified his behaviour by the fact that he really wasn't exactly a stranger really, so then it was okay. One might even say it's romantic. Or something. Whatever. 

"Do you have a reservation?" 

"No."

"And your name is?" 

"William"

Not using you first name then, huh? Or your last. Harry noticed as he watched Louis lie at the oblivious man. This was actually kind of developing into some weird, unexpected detective show. Really, the male lead sure was hot enough to be a movie star. And Harry wasn't referring to himself. 

"Alright." The man said, and left before soon returning with a key. "Room 206." He stated as he handed Louis the key and _wow_. That was really close to Harry's and Zayn's room. Trying not to look too pleased about this fact, Harry promptly fought the smug grin which was threatening to occupy his face. 

"Thanks." Louis said and bend down to grab his bag. When he stood straight again, he watched Harry uncertainly like he didn't know what to do next. But before he got the chance to open his mouth to say anything, Harry spoke uncharacteristically fast. 

"I could walk you to your room if you'd like." 

Louis only shrugged. "Sure."

"Great." Harry replied happily, and walked towards the stairs with Louis following his lead. "Warning, the staircase is really small."

"Thanks for the heads up." 

They entered the tight staircase, and all that was going on through Harry's mind was practically _holy shit I'm walking Louis Tomlinson to his room this is insane he is literally just behind me holy shit how is this my life oh my god I could just turn around and he would be right there and we could totally -_

And yeah, that is probably not a train of thought he ought to continue unless he wants to embarrass himself even more. Because although things were already quite awkward, they could be so, so much more awkward. And Harry really didn't want that. 

When they got to room 206, Harry turned around and saw Louis looking tired and worn out. A look Harry didn't think suited him too much, and it made Harry want to do many things, like give him a tight hug, cook him a nice dinner with scented candles, convince him to tell him what's wrong so he could do his best to help and then he'd tuck him and they'd go to sleep together. But realistically, Harry knew that wasn't happening. Instead, he leaned back against the wall and smiled shyly at Louis. 

"Here we are." He said, keeping his eyes fixed on Louis. 

Louis rolled the key around in his hands and chuckled slightly. "Seems like it." 

Harry turned his head somewhat to the left to look at the door, considering different things to say next. _Hey, Louis, maybe you should invite me in. Hey, Louis, maybe you should reconsider my residence offer._ In the end, he settled for something a little bit more normal, although still vital. "I'm Harry by the way."

"Harry." Louis repeated, nodding. "Hi. I'm Louis." 

No shit. "Right." 

"But you already knew that, didn't you?" Louis said, smiling knowingly, which sort of caught Harry off guard. To lie, or not to lie - that is the question. But no, Harry wasn't a liar. 

"Yeah." He admitted ,while blushing and smiling down at the ground. "That obvious?"

At that, Louis laughed out loud. "Yeah. A bit." He said sarcastically, causing Harry to look up at him, feeling very embarrassed. "Or maybe you just freeze completely whoever you bump into." 

Harry's cheeks were really starting to heat up. "No, that's probably only with you. I was just a bit chocked, alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, it's alright mate, nothing to worry about. Happens all the time." 

"But I'm not like a crazy stalker on anything, though. I swear to God, I didn't know you'd be here."

Harry wasn't technically lying. He wasn't crazy, he didn't know Louis would be here and come on, when he told Zayn they should stalk them he was only joking. Totally, not in the slightest serious. Like he'd do that. So no, he was not crazy and he was not lying. Even so, he looked at Louis pleadingly. However, Louis only shook his head quickly. 

"Yeah, I know. You'd have to be psychic to know that."

"Maybe I am." Harry raised his eyebrows up and down suggestively. 

"Maybe you are." Louis snorted. "In that case, I'd appreciate it if you kept your hidden talent to yourself and didn't tell anyone I am here." Louis looked at Harry pointedly. "Could you do that?" 

"Yeah, of course. I won't tell anyone." Harry promised immediately, deciding that Zayn didn't count as "anyone". 

"Good." Louis said and then stretched out his arms and exhaled a heavy sigh. "Well, as lovely as this has been, I do think I need to shower now. I've had a long day." 

"Yeah, of course." Harry said, hoping he didn't sound as disappointed as he felt. "That's probably a good idea, yeah." 

"Why? Are you saying I smell bad?"

"No that's not -" Shaking his head embarrassed, he looked at Louis who had some sort of look on his face like he knew exactly everything that was going on inside of Harry's head. Like he knew exactly how he messed up his brain while teasing him. Consequently, Harry said something he had never said before in his entire life. "Please stop looking at me like that. You're making me nervous." 

Louis smiled his blinding smile and Harry bit back his _and stop smiling like that_ , even though his stomach was making uncomfortable loops, although in a kind of pleasant way somehow. "Okay, Harry. I'll try my best." 

"Thank you." Realising Louis was sort of waiting for him to leave, he pushed himself off the wall and walked backwards in slow motion towards his own door. "Um. I live in room 203, by the way. If you, like. You know." 

Louis laughed, and pushed the subject. "If I what?"

"You know, want to come over. Like, hang out and stuff." 

Harry looked directly into Louis' eyes, hoping he wasn't sounding desperate or anything. Casual was still the main thing he was going for. However, Louis didn't answer; he only looked at Harry uncertainly.

"I mean, I could even wear trousers if that's what you prefer."

"No, I actually prefer when they're off." Louis smirked. "But, yeah, we'll see. Maybe I will." 

"Maybe you should."

"Maybe I will." 

Accepting that is probably as good as it's going to get, Harry slowly turned around after giving Louis one last look. "Alright, then. Bye, Louis." 

"Bye." 

Just as Harry had turned around fully and was now walking towards his own room in normal speed, he heard Louis call after him. 

"Harry?"

He immediately turned around, with an eager look on his face. "Yeah?" 

"Just." Louis strummed his fingers against the wall is if he was nervous, and Harry thought he looked almost vulnerable. He looked at Harry pleadingly. "Like I said earlier, I would honestly really appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone he was here. So, please, please don't do that." 

Harry's heart dropped a little at the sight of Louis looking so defenceless. "No, of course not. I won't, I promise." 

"Okay." Louis was still strumming his fingers against the wall, but then abruptly stopped and picked up the key and put it in the locker and looked at Harry sternly. "Going to trust you now."

Harry smirked, and shrugged. "You could always drop by later to make sure I'm keeping my promise." 

Laughing, Louis opened the door. "Like I said earlier, maybe I will." 

"Room 203." Harry repeated, and then turned around again. When he walked forward, he could hear Louis closing the door behind him. And the second he heard the slam, his mind started replaying what had just happened. And holy shit, did it really happen or was it only a dream? Did he subconsciously sign up as a role in Inception? Will Leonardo DiCaprio show up now? Because that did sort of make more sense than the fact that he had just invited Louis Tomlinson over to his hotel room. And was he really just about to get undressed and take a shower, only meters away from Harry? 

But no, freaking out could wait. First thing first, Harry had more important things to do. 

Firstly, he had to go give Zayn a heart attack.


	9. Chapter 9

When Harry opened the door to his hotel room, he was greeted by the sight of Zayn sitting at the end of the bed, his head buried in his hands. At the sound of Harry entering, he raised his head to see what was going on. And apparently, Harry and Louis weren't the only ones that looked like a mess today. Zayn's black quiff, which had been perfectly styled yesterday, was now all over the place. And unlike Harry, who truthfully looked kind of cute with his hair all untamed, Zayn mostly looked weird. Obviously, he was still maddening attractive and all that, but honestly, it would take a hell of a lot for him not to be that. He could probably survive the end of the world, climb out of a hole and still look relatively presentable. But let's just say that as far as Zayn-standards goes, he probably wouldn't take a photo of himself and post on Tumblr or anything. 

With trembling hands, Harry shut the door closed, the impact of what had just happened slowly catching on more and more to the point where he could hardly breathe properly. When he turned to look at Zayn with a bewildered look on his face, he contemplated just how he would drop the bomb on him. Never quite reaching an answer, he just stood frozen by the door, staring back at Zayn. After a moment of silence, Zayn gathered enough energy to use his voice.

"Where have you been?" Zayn asked, his voice rough from sleeping. 

"Uh," Harry began, almost completely lost the ability to speak. "I, uh. Downstairs." 

"Okay." Zayn's voice was skeptic. "Why?"

"I dunno, I felt sick and needed some space." 

"You could have woken me up, you know. It's almost three, now." 

Three? Really, how long had Harry been in that bathroom? 

"Oh. Well, I thought I should let you sleep in." 

"Probably a good idea." Zayn fell backwards and made himself comfortable. "Never leaving this bed ever again." 

Harry swallowed thickly. "Actually, there's something I need to talk to you about." 

Zayn raised his head, which was laying buried in a pillow, with a slightly alarmed and anxious look on his face. "What's up?"

"Uh," Harry started to sweat. For some reason, his body was making it unreasonably difficult for him to say it out loud. He shook his head and took a deep breath. "I, uh." 

Zayn was beginning to look increasingly worried, as he moved himself into a sitting position again. "You alright, Harry? You look as if you've seen a ghost." 

At that, Harry slowly raised a hand to his chest and started singing dramatically in a low voice, while staring longingly out into nothing. "A ghost you say... a ghost maybe. He was just like a ghost to me. One minute there, then he was gone!" 

When Harry turned his gaze back to Zayn, he had raised one eyebrow. "The fuck?" 

"Have you seen Les Miserables?" Harry asked. 

"No." 

"Well," Harry stared down at the ground bashful, "then you wouldn't recognise it, I guess. It's from a song there." 

When he looked up, Zayn was looking at him like he had gone crazy. Maybe he had. "Alright. But earth to Harry, what were you going to tell me?" 

"Well. I. Uh." Harry's heart was beating exceedingly fast, and it felt like his entire body would explode, but he still couldn't make himself say it out loud. However, Zayn was beginning to get slightly annoyed. 

"Jesus Christ, just spit it out! Or were you just going to talk about Les Mireables? Is this your weird way stirring the topic to musicals, so we'll end up talking about how the last scene of Grease is the best piece of cinematic genius you have ever seen, and we'll just end up discussing Louis' underappreciated singing abilities? Because if that's what you want, just fucking say it."

"No!" Harry cried out, while falling down to his knees, eventually finding himself face down at the ground, completely breaking apart. "That's not at all what I want! You don't know what you're talking about! If only you knew what I knew, you wouldn't be saying such things!" He moved so that he could grab a firm hold on Zayn's ankles and started shaking them desperately. "Help me, Zayn! I can't breathe. I'm dying. _I'm dying!_ " 

He stopped shaking Zayn's ankles and buried his face in them instead. Okay, maybe it wasn't Zayn who would be the one having a heart attack, maybe it was him. "Harry?"

At Zayn's careful voice, Harry moved his head so that he was looking up, straight onto Zayn who had an expression on his face like he couldn't believe he had actually gone to London with this idiot. "Yeah?" 

"You're scaring me." 

"Right." Harry removed his hold on Zayn. "Sorry." 

"I repeat, would you please mind telling what the fuck is going on?" 

Harry took a deep breath, trying to compose himself, before looking at Zayn pleadingly. "You have to promise not to freak out." Zayn was just about to open his mouth when Harry interrupted him, waving his hand dismissal, as if he suddenly thought better of it. "Oh, don't bother. You will freak out. No use in promising you won't." 

"Fine. Just tell me already." 

"Okay." Harry took another deep breath, and closed his eyes. Here comes the bomb. "I ran into Louis downstairs." 

After Harry had had his eyes closed for an appropriate amount of time to make the scene as dramatic as possible, he opened them slowly again to see Zayn's reaction. Expecting him to have an emotional breakdown of some sort, Harry was quite surprised to see him simply rolling his eyes. 

"You honestly expect me to believe that?" He sounded very arrogant.

"What? Yes!" Harry exclaimed immediately. "Would I lie to you? It's true, I swear to God!" 

Harry looked at Zayn pleadingly, but he only exhaled a heavy sigh. "Harry, come one."

"What! No, but really." Harry pushed himself off the round and sat next to Zayn on the bed, where he put both of his hands on a firm grip on Zayn's shoulder. "Look me deep in the eyes, Zayn." When Zayn didn't obey, but avoided Harry's gaze, looking straight ahead with an annoyed look on his face, Harry shook him. "Zayn, this is serious! Look at me!" 

"Fine. What?" Zayn said impatiently as he turned to look Harry straight in the eye. 

"I. Met. Louis. Downstairs." Harry spoke slowly, empathizing on every word, but Zayn still hardly reacted. "He was wearing sweatpants and a hoodie, and looked very tired. And it was quite embarrassing since I was not wearing any trousers, but he was very lovely about it so it was fine. And don't ask me what the hell he was doing there because I have no idea. All I know is that he lives ten meters away and I am about two steps away from dying." 

Zayn asked the one thing he considered to be possible. "Are you still drunk?"

"No! Listen, Zayn. I'm not drunk and I'm not lying. Really." 

"The next thing you're telling me is that Liam was also downstairs doing the Macarena dance." 

"No, that's the weird part. Neither Liam or Niall were there. It was just Louis. To be honest, I'm a bit worried." 

Harry and Zayn looked each other in the eyes for a while before Zayn spoke slowly. "I think you can let go of me now." 

"If I could, I would. I just think I need something to hold onto to make sure this is reality and not some dream." 

Harry's hands were trembling slightly as he kept his desperately firm hold on Zayn. Suddenly, Zayn swallowed thickly and he looked at Harry with something close to horror in his eyes. "Oh my God. You're not joking, are you?" 

At that, Harry took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Zayn?"

"Yes?"

When Harry opened his eyes again, Zayn was looking at him in anticipation. "When have I _ever_ managed to pull off a successful joke?" 

That apparently was all the conviction Zayn needed. Immediately, he released himself from Harry's grip and jumped off the bed. All his former tiredness had vanished, and suddenly he was more alert than Harry had ever seen him before. He walked around aimlessly in a circle before turning to face Harry, his eyes shining with a mix of bewilderment and pure panic. 

"No, no, no-" He stuttered panicking, but Harry jumped to his feet and cut him off. 

"Yes, yes, yes." 

Zayn's eyes were ridiculously wide as he stared intently at Harry. " _No._ "

" _Yes._ " 

"But, but-" Zayn threw his hand to his mouth and then removed it again. " _What?_ " 

" _I know._ " Harry was crowding Zayn's space now. "Jesus fucking Christ, _I know._ " 

"This is not happening." 

Harry had so much energy inside his body he didn't know how to use, so he just started throwing his arms around in the air aimlessly. "No shit, this is not happening! Apart from the fact that it is and what the actual fuck is happening. And god damnit, I don't know what to do with myself." He then stopped abruptly and continued whispering dramatically. "Oh my God, Zayn. Maybe we should be quieter. What if he can hear us? I don't think the walls are that thick." 

"Yeah, good point." Zayn whispered back. "That would be embarrassing. Let's keep it down." 

There was a moment of silence in which both Harry and Zayn were breathing heavily instead of screaming, although they both felt like it. 

"So, let me get this straight." Zayn said once he had composed himself enough to think. "You went downstairs to get some space or whatever, and you ran into Louis. Alone. No one else." 

"Not Liam, no." 

"Oh." Zayn looked so disappointed that Harry quickly added.

"But I'm sure he'll come around, though! I don't think Louis can handle solitary that well, to be honest."

"That's true. Good point." Zayn nodded. "But Jesus Christ, what if he actually does? I will, like, _die._ For real." 

Harry laughed a bit manically. "Yeah, well, join the club." 

"At least you managed to talk to him, right? And you're obviously still breathing." 

"Barely." 

"Either way, your strength astounds me." 

"And I didn't just talk to him." Harry's cheeks got warm when he suddenly remembered something. 

"What else did you do?" 

"I may or may not have invited him over to our room." 

Zayn's eyes went ridiculously wide as he suddenly hit Harry on the shoulder and exclaimed. "You did what?" 

"Ow." Harry muttered as he rubbed the spot Zayn had punched. He then turned to look at Zayn pointedly. "And keep it down." 

"Right, sorry. It's just- " Zayn hissed, struggling for words. He then made a hand gesture towards himself. "Just look at me. This isn't fair!" 

"Well, no shit this isn't fair. Look at me!" Harry pointed at himself. "I'm not even wearing any trousers!" 

"Oh, that's true!" For the first time this afternoon, Zayn burst out laughing, looking down at Harry's long, bare legs. "Let's just hope Louis has some weird leg fetish." 

"You're not helping." 

"Sorry." Zayn chuckled, not sounding sorry at all. 

While rolling his eyes, Harry decided to address another issue. "Look, though. Now that we have found ourselves in this unlikely situation, I do feel like I need to make something perfectly clear." 

Zayn turned serious immediately. "What is it?" 

Equally as serious, he looked Zayn deep in the eye. "If you hit on Louis, I swear to God I will kill you. Literally." 

"Oh." 

"I'm serious." 

Zayn processed what Harry had just said before cracking a smile. "Really, I don't think you need to worry about that." 

"You sure about that?" Harry furrowed his eyebrows together suspiciously. 

"Yes!" Zayn stated. "I mean, I won't be able to flirt with him without having in mind that his band mate might show up at any time so, no. Would you be able to flirt with Liam if you knew that Louis might show up?" 

"No." Harry confessed. But then again, you couldn't really compare Louis to Liam. Sure, Liam was nice and stuff, and sure; he might have looked really good in that tank top he wore last week, but he was still no comparison to Louis. 

"Exactly." 

Harry eyed Zayn for a moment, still suspicious, before pointing at him. "Going to trust you now!" 

Zayn sighed. "You should. Besides, weren't you the one asking me to help you out, when was it?" Pretending to think for a moment, he then raised his finger like it suddenly hit him. "Oh, right! _Yesterday?_ "

"But yesterday was a lifetime ago, now that so much has happened." Harry said, like it made perfect sense. 

"Are you saying you don't want my help?" 

"No, of course not! I kind of really need it." 

"Figured." Zayn rolled his eyes. "Look, I'll help you now and then when Liam shows up, you'll help me, alright?" 

Without even thinking, Harry instantly put his hand forward, which Zayn immediately shook. "Deal." 

"Deal." Zayn repeated. 

After the deal had been made, Zayn proposed that the first thing Harry should do was shower, which Harry agreed to immediately. When he had taken the much needed shower, he came out feeling much more clean than he did before. Zayn nodded approvingly, before entering the bathroom himself. Spotting his dark trousers on the floor, Harry put them on straight away, absent mindedly remembering the comment Louis had made about preferring him with them off but decided not to process that information. Nope. Instead, he opened his suitcase and started looking for a t-shirt. He knew that he should probably wait until Zayn got out so he could get his assistance, but his fingered simply couldn't restrain themselves. He found the Ramones t-shirt he had worn the night he had gotten in a fight with Perrie, also the night Zayn told him he'd gotten tickets to their show, and thought it was an appropriate choice. Zayn would undoubtedly approve. After using the towel to dry his hair slightly, he went to the stand in front of the mirror to watch his reflection. 

And yeah, the shower had done him good. He no longer had bags under his eyes, and although his hair was still damp, it at least wasn't greasy like earlier. Any evidence that he had been out partying just the night before had been successfully washed away. To state the obvious; he looked good. 

Harry turned his head to the left to watch the door longingly, hoping for a fit, tanned, blue eyed boy with caramel coloured hair to drop by. Like Zayn said, he hadn't died the last time, and he wouldn't do it the next either. 

He turned his head back to his reflection, and yeah - this time he was definitely ready. 

xx

**Louis POV**

When Louis had closed the door behind him, he let his bag slide down to the floor and leaned back against the door. Honestly, he needed some time to think because he needed to get this straight. 

Alright, so he had gotten in a fight with his band mates, ultimately because he is struggling with his sexuality and it makes him moody. He prefers guys over girls, no one can know, etc, etc. Same old. So, he then immaturely enough, decides to run away from his problems and goes to London alone. And luckily for Louis, he does not run into a single person who recognises him, much less wants a picture or something. Extremely lucky, one might say, given how his previous flights have gone. And then, once in London, Ed convinces him he knows a place where there won't be anyone. Which, perfect. 

So, basically, he had managed to get himself unrecognised all the way to a supposedly completely empty hotel in London, because he unfortunately liked boys over girls, and then, out of fucking nowhere, comes the hottest guy Louis has ever seen; curly brown hair, tall, broad shoulders and big green eyes. Oh, and did he mention he was not wearing any trousers and practically asked him to stay the night? _And wait what._

Louis slapped himself in the face and started whining out loud and fake sobbing, because this was not how it was supposed to happen. He was supposed to have some alone time. Some time to think. Clear his mind. And how was he supposed to do that when there was a really hot guy, also known as Harry, just a few meters away? The precise thing Louis had been running away from, perfectly willing and in close distance. Not that Louis was actually going over or anything. Really, he was stupid, but he wasn't _that_ stupid.

Sighing heavily, Louis made his way onto the bed. Once there, he dropped down and buried his head in a pillow and continued on with his, according to himself justified, self pity. Why couldn't Louis have one night stands like everyone else? Like, come on, it's been _so long_. After lying there for what Louis had deemed an appropriate amount of time, he decided to do something he probably should have done long ago. Text Niall. 

From: Louis

_Yeah, im in london. Im a twat, big news. Let me know when you get here. Sorry for everything._

After typing one quick text to his mum as well, reassuring her that's he's alright, he turned the phone back off. He was still rather irresponsible, big news. Plus, he didn't want to face Niall's anger. At the end of the day, he knew he shouldn't be acting this way, there was no way to justify it, no way to defend himself, which made it all so much worse. He had let his band mates down completely, and they would be angry and it would hurt, he knew that it would. Although he would pretend that it didn't, there's only so much you can laugh off. 

Needing to do anything else rather than thinking, he forced himself off the bed. Remembering his poor hygiene, he entered the bathroom which was surprisingly disgusting. Admittedly, he had been quite spoiled with the hotels he had been to lately, but he was positive the bathrooms he used to go to before One Direction weren't this gross, though. Never the less, he stepped into the shower and let the steaming hot water hit his face. To be honest, it was sort of a miracle that Harry had been interested in him in the first place, given that he currently looked like utter shit. Must have been because he was famous, Louis figured. Everyone wants to sleep with a celebrity. 

When Louis had finished his shower, he soon found himself back on the bed with his towel wrapped around his hips, staring up at the ceiling. The room was completely silent, apart from the sound of Louis' breathing. After laying there for a while, Louis got quite restless. There was not a TV in the room, he hadn't brought a book and he obviously couldn't go outside. Basically, he was trapped and Louis had never been one for solitary. And slowly, step by step, his mind started racing, thinking about those things he still didn't want to think about. Basically, he just wanted some goddamn company. Is that too much to ask? 

At the back of his mind, there was the voice whispering _room 203_. Yet then there was the more reasonable part of his brain telling him _no, you've been irresponsible enough_. But, yeah, Louis had never been much for reason. Ultimately, he decided to make a compromise with himself. So, he would go over to this Harry guy, but only in loss of anything better to do. Really, Harry had seemed nice enough, they had a pleasant conversation, so it made sense. However, he would not, _absolutely not_ , do anything remotely sexual with him. Just because he looked like sex on legs, and Louis had the ability to make him nervous for some unfathomable reason, did not mean he would take advantage of the situation. He had put himself in enough trouble as it is, and sleeping with a fan, if he even was, would not improve his situation at all. Besides, like Louis figured earlier, Harry was probably only interested because he was famous so if he by any chance had to turn him down, he most likely wouldn't be too torn up about it. 

Reaching this conclusion, Louis quickly made his way over to his bag which still laid over by the door. He hadn't brought nearly enough clothes for his liking, but too late for that now. Hopefully, Liam would bring the rest of his clothes from New York with him. And knowing Liam, he probably would. 

Anyway, Louis searched through his bag and found the two trousers he had brought with him. And just because he choose the tightest ones to wear did not mean anything. It just meant that those were his favourite ones. And the fact that he styled his hair carefully in front of the mirror longer than usual before leaving did also not mean anything. This was all still very, strictly platonic. They would just have a simple, friendly conversation about perhaps the weather. Or whatever, what did he know? 

At least, that was what he told himself as he finally closed the door to his room and walked in the empty hallway over to room 203.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Harry was referring to: [Here](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBn1UHtYP9Q) Around 1:00. I may or may not have a slight obsession with Les Mis. Hope you enjoyed the song and the chapter! :) 
> 
> And sorry for always ending on cliffhangers lol. I feel like I should be writing TV-shows. Anyway, will try to update sooner next time, alright lovelies? <3


	10. Chapter 10

It was like when you are supposed to hold a presentation in front of your class; but worse.

You know, when mind is telling you that it is no big deal, you can do this, you've done it many times before, and the fact that you are terrified is completely irrational. Never the less, your heart is beating faster than normally, your palms sweat and there's a numbness omnipresent in your body. And you just want to push everything forward as much as possible; but at the same time you only want to get it the fuck over with so that you can breathe again. Air is not to be underappreciated. While waiting, you go over in your head a thousand times what you are supposed to say. Although in Harry's case it was less "the second World War began year 1939 due to..." and more of a "Hi. I'm glad you came over. Your ass looks smashing in those trousers. Did you know that I also love singing, I can cook, I have good grades, I also love The Fray and I'd love to give you a blowjob? Yeah, I'm totally a catch. We should get married." Harry just needed to rephrase a bit. If he had only had more time, he probably would have sat down with Zayn and written down an entire script of things to say. In the end it wouldn't have mattered though, he still wouldn't be any more prepared than he already was. Maybe even less. Over thinking usually has a way of backfiring in the end.

However, the reason this was worse than an ordinary presentation was because Harry had no guarantee anything would even happen. As much as he would like Louis to drop by, there was really nothing set in stone. He could mentally prepare himself all he wanted, but it could still all be in vain. All he could do was wait and keep his fingers crossed.

With a heavy sigh, he sat down on the bed. Zayn was still in the bathroom doing something unknown since there was no sound from the shower. All Harry knew was that he wished he would hurry up. In the end, he had told Louis he wouldn't tell anyone he was here, purposefully avoiding the fact that he had a roommate which he would most definitely tell.

And, yeah, okay, _sure_. Maybe Harry just wanted some privacy with Louis. No offence to Zayn or anything, but if he were to put "Plan to get Louis' dick in my mouth, part 1." into action, it preferably would be without an audience. (Admittedly, it's not as much of a plan as much as a pure need, which he named so it sounded like he knew what he was doing.) Harry figured he could relax, though. If Louis even were to drop by, it probably wouldn't be until a while. He probably had some "important superstar stuff you wouldn't know anything about" things to do. And if not, he probably would wait a while anyway, just not to come across as too eager. Playing hard to get, or whatever. As if getting Louis Tomlinson isn't hard enough as it is.

Reaching this conclusion, Harry could feel his body noticeably relaxing. No need to have a nervous breakdown just yet. Just breath and everything will be fine. He stared forward and began wondering about which time exactly he should begin to freak out when he heard it coming out of nowhere; like a lightening from a blue sky.

_Knock, knock._

With a jolt, Harry jumped off the bed, his mind screaming out different words randomly and incoherently. _Fuck, yes, no, score, why, finally, I'm not ready, I am ready, fuck_. He went forward to the wall where he leaned forward, his face pressed against it, taking deep breaths. _Breath, breath, breath, fuck_. However, he immediately pushed himself off it, since he couldn't have Louis waiting on him, wondering what was going on. Everything still needed to seem natural. Casual. No big deal.

He turned to give himself one last look in the mirror before walking to the door. And luckily for him, he looked just as good as he had five minutes ago. Score. And much better than he had one hour ago. Double score. Satisfied with this fact, Harry relaxed slightly. He's got this.

"Keep it together." Harry mumbled silently to himself as he pulled down the handle and opened the door. And on the other side stood, as expected, Louis. And if Harry thought he looked better after refreshing himself, then so did Louis, and like a million times more. Swallowing, Harry had to put a hand to the wall next to him to keep himself from falling, because _holy shit_ , those trousers are way too tight, that shirt is also way too tight, and he just looked way too cute and hot and sexy and fuckable and _fuck_. Basically, Louis was the sun and Harry might just have burned himself. Harry did not need this mental instability in his life. Apart from the fact that he really needed it and it was standing right in front of him and he would commit suicide if he lost it. Coughing, Harry realised he'd been staring and broke into a big grin instead.

"Hi." He said, keeping his eyes fixed on Louis, while noticing that he had styled his hair. He had fucking styled his hair just to go see Harry and that fact did stuff to his stomach it really shouldn't.

"Hello." Louis replied, smiling too.

"I actually didn't think you'd come, to be honest."

"No?" Louis raised his eyebrows.

Harry shook his head, smiling down at the ground. "No."

"Yeah, well," Louis shrugged "Had nothing better to do, so."

"Well, I'm glad you came." He looked up at Louis earnestly, hoping he didn't look too pleased. "You want to come in?"

"Yeah." Louis confirmed and Harry stepped to the side to let him through. He gave the room a quick look over before speaking. "I'm pleased to see that your room is just as hideous as mine."

Harry laughed. "If you were planning on using me for my air conditioner you should probably reconsider."

"Mate, the lack of air conditioner is fine. It's the bathroom I'm worried about." He looked at Harry amused. "I can see why you went downstairs, to be honest."

"Maybe you should go downstairs and hang out with the hotel manager in that case."

"I would, but he probably wouldn't be around anyway."

Harry shook his head solemnly. "Shame. Bad management."

"Bad management." Louis repeated in the same tone as Harry.

"Guess you're stuck with me then."

"Guess I am." Louis said before he went to sit on the bed, and Harry didn't even pretend not to look at his arse, because _fuck_. "However, I never said I was only using you for your bathroom, so I don't know if stuck really is the right word."

"Alright." Harry beamed at him. "I can live with that."

Louis snorted. "I'm glad you can live with the idea that I'm not using you."

Harry laughed again, before looking at Louis suggestively. "Maybe I wouldn't mind that much being used by you."

Louis' mouth opened slightly as he examined Harry, trying to make out exactly what he meant. "Is that so?" He asked slowly, and those three innocent words shouldn't sound so temptingly suggestive, but that didn't stop Harry's knees from quivering and he leaned back against the wall for support.

Licking his lips, he replied. "Yeah."

Time almost seemed to have stopped as Louis was looking at Harry attentively, considering his next move. He seemed to had made up his mind and opened his mouth to speak when he was abruptly interrupted by the bathroom door being unlocked. Harry's head flew to the side and there were panic alarms going on inside his head. _Oh, shit_. He had totally forgotten that Zayn was in there. Still panicking, he looked back at Louis who had furrowed his eyebrows together in confusion as he waited for the unknown person to leave the bathroom. And when Zayn actually opened the door and stepped out, his expression quickly changed into disbelief. His eyebrows went up and his mouth hung open.

Truthfully, Harry would be lying if he said he didn't understand his reaction though. Because out comes Zayn, who always looks like a goddamn Gucci model, freshly showered with nothing but a towel wrapped around his hips. It was a sight. A sexy sight. And it was definitely a sight Harry didn't need to see, or less Louis didn't need to see rather, because in what universe was this fair? When Harry had told Zayn not to hit on him, he had also meant _don't walk out of the shower looking like a Greek sexgod, please_. And looking at Louis, he seemed to agree with that description as he sat completely frozen, continuing to stare in disbelief and something close to pure mortification. Harry couldn't even blame him. _Fuck_.

Zayn, however, seemed just as stunned by the situation, and he stood frozen by the door. Basically, all three of them just stood there staring back at each other, no one knowing what to say. Somehow, this entire scenario reminded Harry of a TV-show he had once watched called "Cheaters", which revolves around a crew of people wanting to find out whether or not someone is being unfaithful. In the end there is always a dramatic confrontation when the TV crew and the faithful person in the relationship burst right into when the cheating person is having sex with a stranger and it's all very awkward; to state the obvious. This was exactly like that, apart from the fact that there were no video cameras and Harry had no idea who was cheating on who. And okay, Harry might be exaggerating a bit.

Finally, Zayn decided to speak. He seemed so out of his comfort zone that Harry would have laughed if he weren't so tight up himself. "Uh, hi." He said stiffly, looking at Louis as if he was some kind magical animal which had just arrived from Narnia. "I'm Zayn."

"I'm Louis." He replied shortly, still looking a bit traumatized and very stiff.

Zayn nodded, before mumbling hardly loud enough for either Harry and Louis to hear. "Just gonna grab some clothes." With careful steps, he made his way over to the suitcase which laid on the other side of the bed, where he picked something up. Avoiding eye contact with both Harry and Louis, he quickly walked back into the bathroom and shut the door.

Harry hardly dared to look at Louis, but when he did, he was startled to see him looking almost nervous, fidgeting with his hands in his laps. Feeling like he ought to say something, Harry started feel really restless and stupid. But he just couldn't figure out what to say. Ultimately, it was Louis who broke the silence.

"Zayn, huh?" He said, looking up from his lap.

"Yeah." Harry replied uncertainly.

"That's an unusual name."

"Yeah."

And then silence. Harry was not one of those who freaked out immediately whenever there's a silence in the conversation, but this was different. This was so awkward Harry wanted to grab a bottle of acid, drink it and just stop existing. Instead of doing that however, he picked up his phone from his pocket and quickly typed a message to Zayn.

From: Harry

_is2g if u ever walk around not being fully clothes around louis ever again lkfdhslihdfirkeoi !!!!!!!_

Harry didn't know how frightening or intimidating that text was, but he was sure he had gotten his message across.

When Zayn finally, empathizing on _finally_ , exited again, this time dressed in clothes, it was kind of back to square one. He closed the door slowly and carefully, before leaning back against it. It was all quite ridiculous.

"So." Louis said, clasping his hands together, his eyes flickering between Harry and Zayn.

Zayn probably couldn't speak if his life depended on it. Harry himself still had no idea what to say until something suddenly dawned on him.

He was starving.

"Hey, you know what I just realised?" He said excitedly while looking at Zayn, who shook his head in reply. "That I haven't eaten all day."

Zayn stared dumbstruck back at Harry. "Me neither."

"Yeah, no, I figured. Maybe you could run downstairs to Starbucks then and buy something for us to eat?"

Harry had no idea if there even was a Starbucks close to their hotel, but _come on_ , there has got to be. It's Starbucks, for Christ's sake. Plus, Zayn didn't seem to mind. He immediately nodded and went over to the bed stand where he picked up his wallet and phone. When he held the phone in his hand, he read the text Harry had send him before rolling his eyes exaggeratedly.

"You want anything?" Harry asked Louis, ignoring the look Zayn had given him.

"Um," Louis contemplated, "I guess. Haven't eaten in a while myself, either. And some tea would have been nice."

"Yeah, some tea would have been nice." Harry turned to face Zayn. "Could you buy some tea and something to eat, scones or whatever. Doesn't really matter."

"Sure." Zayn agreed instantly, and then hurriedly made his way over to the door where he made an awkward wave before exiting. Or rather, evacuating.

And just like that there was only Harry and Louis alone in the room. Uncertainly, Harry looked back at Louis and said the only thing he could think of. "I'm so sorry."

"Huh?" Louis asked, sounding surprised.

"It's just that you said you didn't want anyone to know you were here, and I didn't mention I had a roommate so. I'm sorry."

Louis stared at Harry as if he couldn't understand what he was saying, but then shook his head and waved his hand dismissively. "Oh, right. No, that's fine, don't worry about it."

"Really?" Harry smiled, feeling beyond relieved. "You sure?"

"Well, yeah. As long as he doesn't tell anyone I suppose."

"Oh, he won't." Harry reassured. "I promise."

"Good."

Seeing as this was as good time as any, Harry made his way forward and sat down next to Louis on the bed.

"So," Louis begun, shifting slightly so that he was facing Harry. "Who was that?"

Furrowing his eyebrows together, Harry looked at Louis in confusion. "Zayn."

"Obviously." Louis rolled his eyes. "I mean, who is he? Just your roommate?"

"Yeah, he's just my friend." Harry replied, not really seeing where this was going.

"Oh!" Louis started laughing and rubbed his forehead with his palm. "It's just that things got so awkward back there so I just figured he was your boyfriend."

"Eh, what?"

"Yeah," Louis was still laughing "I felt so out of place."

Alright, so if this actually had been an episode of "Cheaters", then Harry would have been the one cheating on Zayn with Louis. And, well, that's an odd thought to have.

"Okay." Harry said slowly, still having troubles grasping this situation. "No, we're just friends."

"Sure." Louis chuckled, and Harry could have sworn he sounded relieved for some reason.

"Actually," Harry's stomach was making uncomfortable loops, but he knew he had to say it eventually. He avoided eye contact with Louis as he spoke, staring down at his lap. "The reason things got awkward is because we are seeing you guys next week."

When Harry raised his head to look at Louis, his eyebrows had shot up and he said in a high pitched voice. "What?"

Harry chuckled sheepish. "Yeah."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Honestly?"

"Yes!" Harry looked at Louis questioning. "Is it really that hard to believe?"

"Well. Yes?" Louis shrugged. "I mean, like, most people that go to our shows are teenage girls. Not people like you."

"People like us?" Harry repeated.

"Well, you know." Louis started waving his arms around as if he couldn't find the word he was looking for. "Non dad males."

"Well, that's a bit sexist, don't you think?" Harry asked amused.

"No, no, no! I'm not saying I prefer female fans over male, or the other way around. All I'm saying is that it is more common for us to have females at our concerts, but that does not mean that we don't appreciate the guys attending."

"Right. So, maybe this is a bad time then to let you know we are bringing our two daughters along?"

"Oh, really, you are?" Louis played along. He tried to keep a serious face but Harry could tell he had a hard time doing so.

"Oh, yes." Harry nodded. "Me and Zayn will be the two annoyed dads that sit down the entire time, glued to our phones while complaining about the loud screams."

"You're one of those people, then?"

"Definitely, yeah. Maybe if I'm in the right mood I'll take a photo for my Instagram. Hashtag; _toldyoutheycouldntsingstagram_."

At that, Louis fell back at the bed, laughing so much he was shaking. Harry felt a sense of pride; he had actually managed to pull off a joke. Mentally, he made a new plan called "Make Louis laugh like that again."

As Louis was laying on the bed, still shaking with laughter, he said in a mocking dark voice. " _Canseewhytheydidn'twinXfactorstagram_." And then he started laughing even harder. Harry rolled his eyes a little bit, because it wasn't really that funny.

"Maybe I'll just settle for _concertstagram_. At the end of the day, I'm all about simplicity."

Sitting up straight again, Louis took some deep breaths. "Yeah, that will work too."

Smiling, Harry decided to change the subject. "Speaking of the X-factor, did you know that I was actually about to audition that year when you, Niall and Liam did?"

"No, really?"

"Yeah, I had the song picked out and everything. But then it turned out I was one day too young so I couldn't do it."

"What?" Louis eyebrows went up. "When are you born?"

"February the second, 1994. Born one day sooner and I would have done it."

"Wow, that sucks." Louis said, sounding genuinely upset about it.

"Yeah, well." Harry shrugged. "Nothing you can do about it, so."

"Still, though. I'm sorry."

Harry just shrugged again, before a smile grew on his face. "Zayn was actually about to audition too, but he overslept."

Louis laughed. "Well, maybe he has himself to blame for that then."

"Maybe." Harry smiled.

"It would have been really cool though if both of you had auditioned, and ended up in the band with us."

Harry blushed. Truthfully, he had considered it. It was hard not to. But it had always been as a fantasy, not something he actually thought would ever happen. That kind of thing just don't happen in real life. Still, it would have been undeniably fun going around the world with Louis. Nothing he would have complained about exactly.

"Yeah." Harry agreed, smiling like an idiot. "Really fun."

"Can't image being five in the band, though. Would have been weird."

"Well, I can't image being in the band at all, so I guess we're on the same page there."

Louis shrugged, before smiling and looking back at Harry. "So, you're a good singer, then?"

"I guess." Harry admitted, blushing again. "I used to be the singer in a band called White Eskimo, but we broke up a while ago."

"Why?"

"I don't know, really. It just didn't work out."

"Alright." Suddenly, Louis looked very smug. "You do realise where this is going, right?"

"Not really, no."

Louis looked Harry deep in the eye, dead serious, with no trace of a joke what so ever. "I'm going to need you to sing for me." 

Harry scratched the back of his neck. "I don't know about that."

"Come on!" Louis bumped his shoulder. "I'm sure you're great."

"No. Not that great." Harry mumbled self consciously, avoiding eye contact. "Not as great as you."

When Harry looked at Louis, he had raised an eyebrow. "I'm sure you're underestimating yourself." When Harry still didn't give in, he pouted. "Please?"

Harry let out a defeated sigh. Because, really, how was he supposed to say no to that? "Fine. What would you like me to sing, then?"

Louis immediately brightened, so Harry didn't regret his decision too much. "Anything you're comfortable with, mate."

"Alright."

That's easier said than done, Harry wasn't sure how many songs he was just simply comfortable with performing in front of Louis Tomlinson. In the end though, he knew what song to pick. Coughing, he stood up in front of Louis, who looked at him smiling and expectantly. Harry wasn't usually all that nervous, but this was a special occasion. He removed his fringe from his face. It was a nervous habit of his.

"I'm, uh, going to sing "Isn't she lovely" by Stevie Wonder."

Louis nodded encouraging, still smiling.

And Harry started singing.

 _Isn't she lovely_  
 _Isn't she wonderful_  
 _Isn't she precious_  
 _Less than one minute old_  
 _I never thought through love we'd be_  
 _Making one as lovely as she_  
 _But isn't she lovely made from love_

It went surprisingly well, given the nerves. Harry didn't want to be smug or anything, but Louis did seemed genuinely impressed as he sat listening to Harry a capella. When he was done, he gave a little bow and Louis immediately started clapping his hands enthusiastically. Harry had a hard time hiding his smile.

"Bravo! Well done. Impressive."

"Thank you." Harry giggled.

"No, but really -" Louis patted the seat next to him. "Sit down again." Harry obliged immediately. Once seated, Louis continued. "Really, that was kind of really impressive. Completely blew me away."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. You definitely would have made it through. Without a doubt."

"Yeah?" Harry wasn't sure if he had ever smiled this big in his entire life.

"Honest." Louis looked at Harry sincerely. "Going to have to get an autograph for when you're proper famous."

Blushing feverishly, Harry stared down at his lap. He still couldn't stop smiling. "Stop it."

Smiling, Louis reached to touch Harry's hair, which caused him to look up in surprise. "Those curls will get you a long way. I can feel it."

"Perhaps." Harry tried not to think about the fact that Louis was touching his hair. "Maybe we could collaborate later. When I'm famous too."

"Definitely." Louis agreed, removing his hand from Harry's hair. "One Direction featuring Harry."

"More like Harry Styles featuring One Direction, but okay." Harry corrected.

Louis eyebrows went up. "Your name is Harry _Styles_?"

"Yeah." Harry chuckled. "Why?"

"No, it's just-" Louis shrugged. "You've got the entire package. The name, the voice, the curls. You should really go for it."

"That actually- " Harry took a deep breath and started over. "That actually means a lot coming from you. Honestly, you have no idea. So, thank you."

"No worries."

Harry stopped for a moment, contemplating. "I have actually written some songs of my own."

"Yeah?" Louis smiled encouraging.

"Yeah, you know, some stuff. Nothing big, but yeah."

"I don't suppose you'd want to sing some?"

Louis looked so hopeful that Harry actually stopped to consider it. The thing was, however, that the songs that Harry had written were a) not finished or b) not something he felt comfortable singing. The only person who had ever heard any of his songs was his mum. Given that he felt exposed enough singing someone else's song; there was no way he was singing any of his own. Not now at least.

"Maybe another time." He said apologetically.

"Sure"

Harry looked at Louis and wondered if he too was considering the possibility of that "another time". Harry desperately hoped there would be. More than anything else. But he also knew that he shouldn't get his hopes up. Ultimately, he decided not to think about it.

"Hey!" Louis exclaimed, as if something suddenly dawned on him. "You know what would be fun?"

Harry could think of a few things.

"No."

"We could sing some of my songs!"

"You mean together?"

"Yeah," Louis confirmed enthusiastically "like, if you're up for it."

Harry was most definitely up for it. If he could sing them drunk at a bathroom with Zayn, then he could definitely sing them sober with Louis.

"Yeah, I'm up for it. Which one would you like to sing?"

"Which ones do you know?"

Harry shrugged. "Most of them, I guess." A.k.a. all of them.

"Okay."

They decided that Harry got Liam's parts and Louis got his own, naturally, and they shared Niall's. And it turned out to be a lot of fun. Singing One Direction songs are always fun, so obviously. They started out with "Kiss You" since that was their latest single and Harry tried not to let it show how much he meant every word he sang. During the second verse, Harry could feel his phone vibrating from a text, but he ignored it. Only seconds after, it vibrated again. The next song they sang was "Gotta be you" and afterwards, Louis complemented Harry on the high note he took during the chorus. Again, Harry felt overwhelmed by the good feedback and tried to hide it, but probably did a horrible job at it.

However, when his phone vibrated a third time, he excused himself and went to the bathroom. Once alone, he picked up the phone and read the three messages Zayn had sent him.

From: Zayn

_What were you even talking about, there is no starbucks here. Ive been looking for half an hour now._

From: Zayn

_Cant i just buy something else_

From: Zayn

_Since youre not answering im assuming things are going better for you than me_

Harry felt slightly bad, but not bad enough to give into Zayn's proposal.

From: Harry

_Louis wants tea = YOURE GETTING TEA_

From: Harry

_Please. :) xx ily_

From: Harry

_Yeah things are going good omgg ill tell you everything later_

When Harry got out from the bathroom, he was almost surprised to find Louis still sitting on the bed. Everything was still hard to take in, given how surreal it was. So Harry did what any sane person would have done; ignored that feeling and continued on as normally as he possibly could. He sat down next to Louis again, and instead of singing some more, they somehow ended up talking about different topics, such as their favourite movies, TV-shows and music. Harry was pleased to discover how easy their conversation went. He had always assumed that Louis would be lovely in real life as well, and he was pleased to discover that he had been right.

It wasn't until one hour later that Zayn actually returned with the Starbucks items, which Harry was thankful for since he was practically starving. Louis asked why it had taken so long and Zayn mumbled in reply that he had gotten distracted on the way. Harry reminded himself to thoroughly thank Zayn later.

Eating their scones and drinking their tea was quite awkward even though the roommate situation had been cleared up. Zayn didn't say anything unless he was spoken to, and Harry and Louis wasn't sure how to continue their conversation with a third person present. In the end they put on the TV and let "Die Hard" fill the silence. No one probably enjoyed it but no one wanted to complain either, so.

Zayn sat down on the floor while Harry remained seated next to Louis on the bed. If he wanted to, he could easily just reach over and touch him. A fact he was painfully aware of. It was if his body was dying to just to move a little bit, just get a little bit closer. He stayed put, though, even if it required a lot of self restraint. Instead, he kept sneaking glances at him, simply because he couldn't resist. And every time he did, Louis smirked and sometimes even looked back, almost challenging. Harry liked when he did that, and never removed his gaze. At one point, sometime during the final scene, Harry found himself staring at Louis again. But this time, Louis didn't look back but kept his eyes at the movie while whispering.

"Stop looking at me."

Harry naturally didn't do as he was told. Louis didn't seem to mean it anyway, since he couldn't even keep himself from smiling as he said it. More than ever before, Harry wanted to reach out and turn his face around so he could look at him properly.

"I don't think I can, though."

His voice was barely a whisper but Harry could tell Louis heard by the flush of his cheeks.

When the movie ended, Harry had spend more time looking at Louis than he had looking at Bruce Willis, which didn't surprise him that much really. The end credits were rolling when Harry turned around one last time. This time, however, Louis was already looking at him, with something indecisive in his eyes. Harry didn't know what his own eyes were giving away, but he knew that his heart was beating ridiculously fast and that if he moved his hand a just tiny little bit, it would be covering Louis'. He ducked his head down to stare down at it, wondering if he should go for it, when suddenly Louis' hand slowly moved and made its way over to Harry's arm, where it gave a gentle stroke. Barely breathing, Harry bit his lower lip and raised his head to look at Louis who stared at him wide eyed. Harry eyes were probably even wider.

The end credits were probably still rolling. Zayn was probably still sitting awkwardly on the floor. The outside world was probably still existing. Harry wouldn't have known; the only thing he was aware of was the tiny hand that touching his arm, unmoving, and the blue eyes that were staring at him in wonder.

And. Harry. Could. Not. Breath.

And then, out of nowhere, Louis seemed to have caught himself. Whatever spell that had magically been put over those two vanished, and Louis quickly pulled his hand back. Harry missed the touch the second it disappeared.

"Well," Louis coughed and jumped off the bed, leaving Harry staring at him intently "this has been nice. I should probably go."

"You don't have to go." Harry quickly argued.

"Um," Louis scratched his head, while looking anywhere but at Harry "yeah, I do. Got like, stuff, you know, important stuff to do."

Harry continued to stare, not quite believing him. "Right."

"Yeah."

Louis turned around and walked towards the door and Harry hurriedly jumped off the bed and followed him.

"Well." Louis said as he grabbed the handle. "Bye."

Harry wasn't leaving it at that. "Can I see you again?"

As he opened the door, Louis turned around to face Harry, his mouth falling slightly opened. "Well, you know where to find me."

Before even Harry had the chance to respond, Louis quickly turned around and exited. And just like that, he was gone. Harry stood frozen by his spot a few seconds before he reached forward and shut the door closed.

When he turned around, Zayn was sitting staring at him, looking utterly shocked. He spoke for the first time in over an hour. "Did that just happen or am I just really high?"

Harry swallowed. "It happened."

He could not believe he was actually saying it, but it was true. It happened. He had actually just spend a couple of hours hanging out with Louis Tomlinson. Something he had dreamed of for God knows how long (six months). It had actually really fucking happened. Harry had a hard time grasping that.

For the first time in a couple of hours, it felt like he could breath properly. He leaned back against the wall where he picked up his phone from his pocket, on which he clicked on the Tumblr app. It had been a while, but he decided to make a text post. No one else would get it but it didn't matter. He just needed to write it down.

_I do know where to find you. And I will._

_#its gotta be lou #only lou #it happened_


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amount of times I go "what am I even talking about" in this fic is actually quite alarming. 
> 
> And sorry that it took so long for me to update this. I could literally give you one million excuses, but let's just settle with "sorry". And it's by far the longest chapter I've written, if that counts as anything. 
> 
> Anyway, enjoyyy :)

**Liam's POV:**

Liam had a hard time making his mind up about airplane food. Unlike certain other band mates (read; Louis) he didn't find it absolutely revolting and unworthy. ("We're superstars goddamn it, where's my homemade lasagne?") But unlike other certain band mates (read; Niall) he didn't ravish it, ask for a refill and something to drink along with it. ("We're superstars goddamn it, where's my pint?") Liam sometimes (read; always) felt like he was traveling with children. Just one of the things he sat considering as he stared down at his, not too revolting, but also not too appealing, chicken noodle soup.

Maybe that was just Liam, though. Maybe his opinion on airplane food was some sort of metaphor for him in general. The safe in between. Not too much, not too little. Never too warm, never too cold. The one with two feet on the ground. Safe and sensible in a group where the main word was chaos.

Perhaps chaos wasn't the word most commonly used, but it had a lot of synonyms. Hysteria, turmoil, madness, frenzy. Liam, however, thought that "chaos" fitted perfectly. And it was chaotic in more ways than one. He seriously doubted anyone could walk out of their hotel room, be greeted by the sight of thousands of screaming teenage girls completely unaffected and think; "What a nice weather. I can't wait to read the morning newspaper." That being said, it was definitely the best sort of chaos. Liam loved his fans. When he said he appreciated every single one of them, he actually meant it. He just hoped everyone else knew that too, and didn't just think they were empty words he was being forced to say. They could scream all they wanted, because in the end of the day they changed Liam's life in a way he could never even have dream of, and he would never, ever stop being thankful for that.

This was, however, an expected kind of chaos. Granted not at this extreme level, but Liam could probably not name anyone famous these days who hadn't suffered from at least a mild case of chaos. But what was not expected on the other hand, was the chaos within the group. Liam could handle the chaos by the fans because he loved them. But he couldn't handle the chaos caused by his band mates for the exact same reason. Liam loved Louis and Niall. Niall loved Liam and Louis. Louis loved Niall and Liam. And that was what made it all so extremely frustrating because that should be enough. More than enough, really. But for some unfathomable reason, it wasn't. Not even close to it. It was like some big piece was missing, and Liam had absolutely no idea what that piece might be.

The thing was that they were constantly fighting. It was always the same story; Louis did something, Niall got angry, Louis got angry, Liam tried to fix it, Liam failed, Liam tried again, Louis snapped, Niall rolled his eyes, Liam prayed to the God he did not believe in, management got involved, they ended on "friendly" terms, all three of them simultaneously thinking _it shouldn't be like this why is it like this_.

Liam would be lying if he said he didn't think about this a lot. That was just the sort of person he was; he wasn't spontaneous, he liked to think things through. And God knows, he has thought this through. To Liam, this was some sort of riddle and he needed to solve it.

Basically, all of this came down to Louis. Louis, who was the sweetest person Liam knew. And that wasn't a vague, uncertain statement, which Liam took lightly upon. No. Liam had been at Louis' home, had seen him with his sisters, and he was the sweetest person Liam knew. Fact. Not negotiable. Never the less, Louis may also be the harshest person Liam knew. Despite the fact that Liam had seen Louis at his best, he had also seen him at his worst. He had seen him snap, he had seen him say mean things, and worse; he has himself, been told mean things. Liam would never admit this to Louis, because he knew how bad he'd felt, but there had been times when Liam had to physically restrain himself to stop from crying. Niall notices, though, and he gets angry. Hence, Louis gets angry. And Liam tries to fix. Evil circle. Same mistakes.

What Liam had been thinking about lately is what exactly that triggers Louis. Because things weren't always like this. Liam remembered during the X-factor, when it was all fun and games, pranks and laughter's, and stupid video diaries where Louis seemed to have made it his own personal mission to make himself as silly as possible. It somehow worked in his advantage though, and he had both Niall and Liam at his feet. And the thing was that he still did. Despite everything, Liam still would have done literally anything for him, and he knew Niall felt the exact same way. What made this problematic was that Louis a) refused to tell what's wrong, b) refused to admit that something even was wrong, c) refused to admit he needed help, d) refused to accept help even when he's been given, e) refused to let his guard down for anyone, not even his two best mates. Liam felt powerless, which wasn't a feeling he particularly enjoyed.

But Liam also knew that he was fooling himself. He's smarter than he looked like. He had noticed the way Louis looked at some men, or the complete uninterested looks he gives whenever Niall points out an attractive female. And he has also noticed that he isn't the only one that has noticed. Liam hardly ever knew exactly what was going on through Louis' head, but God, did he wish that he did.

"You alright, sir?"

Liam's attention was brought back by a female flight attendant standing in the row next to him. However, it was not him who was being addressed, but Niall, who also stared down at his food, seeming to have an existential just like Liam. At the sound of her voice though, he raised his head and gave her a charming smile.

"Yeah, I'm good, thanks." He looked down at his food solemnly. "I'm just not hungry."

And if that didn't ring warning bells, Liam didn't know what did.

They had boarded the plane just over an hour ago, right before Liam had caught Niall making a very aggressive voice mail message. When Niall had noticed Liam was listening, he had quickly finished it and pretended like nothing had happened.

"What about you, sir?"

This time, it was Liam who was being addressed. He had, just like Niall, not touched his food.

"I'm just not too into noodle soup, is all." He replied, giving her his most comforting smile.

"Oh, didn't you get the menu?" She asked immediately.

Nah, he had gotten the menu. He just hadn't cared and gotten the first thing.

"No, I did. I just -" He shrugged and looked at the woman apologizing. "I just don't like airplane food."

"That's alright." She offered him a bright smile before walking away.

And that was it, Liam had made up his mind. If his take on airplane food was a metaphor for his life, then he didn't like it. He didn't like it at all.

But he was Liam goddamn Payne; the superman of his own life. And he was going to fix this. If not for himself, for his fans.

xx

**Harry's POV:**

It was kind of late when Harry and Zayn left the hotel for an evening scroll. They hadn't really a plan of where to go, they just needed to do something apart from sitting on the bed and Harry repeatedly asking "did that really happen?" and Zayn repeatedly answering "yes." It was fun for like an hour, but then it got old.

The air outside was cool and fresh, and there was not a cloud on the sky to be seen. Since it was a Saturday night, the streets were crowded with nameless people which Harry had no idea where they were going or why. All he knew was that he enjoyed the buzz he got from being surrounded by so many people. He was a part of something bigger than himself, and he liked that.

He also liked that Zayn was penetrated by his side. They hardly spoke, but Harry didn't mind. It was like they had too much to say, so choosing one topic would have seemed almost stupid.

"What time is it?" Harry asked after about half an hour of silence.

"Almost eleven." Zayn answered after checking his phone.

"Maybe we could sit down for a bit?" Harry gestured his head towards an empty bench in front of them. Zayn nodded in response and they sat down on the cold, wooden bench. The icy wind blew through the streets of London, making Harry shiver. They were still surrounded by people, but to Harry, him and Zayn were the only ones existing at this very moment. 

Closing his eyes, Harry stretched his arms and yawned. "I'm exhausted."

"Me too."

"I feel like I have overstepped the amount of feelings I'm allowed to have in one day."

"Same." Zayn chuckled. "At least you didn't walk alone in the rain for one hour while freaking the fuck out."

"Shit, I'm so sorry." Harry turned to look at Zayn, but his brown eyes thankfully conveyed no signs of resentment or anger. "I'd forgotten that it was raining."

"It's alright." Zayn gave Harry a small smile. "You would have done the same for me."

"I would have." Harry agreed.

They sat in silence again. For some reason, Harry started thinking about his friends back home and how thankful he was that it was Zayn sitting here next to him.

"Hey, Zayn?"

"Yeah?"

"I really would have done the same for you." Harry swallowed and scratched his neck. "You're kind of my best friend."

Zayn turned to face Harry, a small playing on his lips. "Don't look so nervous, Harry. You're kind of my best friend too."

Harry let out a relieved breath. "Really?"

"Really." Zayn confirmed sincerely.

"Okay. Good." Smiling, Harry leaned back to get more comfortable. When he was, he felt Zayn patting his shoulder.

"No need to look so relieved, Harry."

"I guess."

"You're better than you give yourself credit for, you know."

Harry frowned. "It's weird that two people have told me that today."

Zayn removed his hand and shrugged. "Maybe it isn't weird." He followed Harry's lead and leaned back on the bench. He stared straight ahead, as if something in the distance had caught his attention. "Maybe you just are better than you give yourself credit for."

Harry gave Zayn a questioning look. He wanted to believe that. "Maybe."

"Yeah. Maybe."

For some reason, Harry really did feel unbelievably tired. The adrenaline from earlier was beginning to wear off. "You know what I think is weird?"

"No, what?"

Harry took a deep breath. "I feel like I should be happier than this."

The moment the words left his mouth, he regretted them. Saying something usually has a way of making it more real. But he was also on the edge of falling asleep and that usually has a way of making you more honest, and he was telling the truth. Sad, or not.

"What do you mean?" Zayn shifted so he was facing Harry, giving him his unrelenting attention.

"Well," Harry begun, trying to find the right words. "You know how I am with Louis. If anyone knows, it's you."

Smirking, Zayn nodded.

"Like, it was almost painful. Or rather, it was painful. Like, looking at pictures and stuff. It hurt my stomach. It was like, I should be there, why aren't I there?" Harry looked at Zayn carefully, hoping he wasn't sounding too stupid. "You get it?"

"I get it."

"Good." Suddenly, Harry remembered something and started chuckling. "Hey, remember that time I was on "Louis-rehab"?"

"Nah." Zayn shook his head, looking amused. "But I remember like one month ago when you emailed me saying you weren't going to think about the man whose name begins with a "L", and you weren't referring to Liam or Lord Voldemort. That made me laugh."

Harry remembered that too, it was right before Perrie's party. That hadn't gone too well; neither the party nor the promise.

"I'm glad my failed attempts at humour make you laugh."

"More at you than with you, though, to be honest."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Maybe keep those comments to yourself in the future if you want to keep the label as my best friend."

"Duly noted." Zayn grinned.

"Anyway, back to "Louis-rehab". I had so many emotional breakdowns that I just decided, you know, that I wasn't going to think about him, look at pictures of him, and god forbid look at videos featuring him."

"And how long did that last?" Zayn raised an eyebrow. "One hour?"

"Five minutes." Harry corrected, and Zayn snorted. "But that's not the point."

"Then what's the point?"

"The point is that I was so emotionally invested in him that I actually sat down and wrote down a plan to keep my feelings intact. It didn't work, but the point remains."

"Yeah, sounds like a thing you'd do." Zayn said, somehow fondly.

"Well, it sounds like a thing I would do, because I was a thing that I did." Harry sighed exasperatedly. "I mean, let's look at my Tumblr, shall we?"

Not waiting for an answer, Harry picked out his phone from his pocket and pressed on the Tumblr app. Someone had replied "what" to his latest post, but he ignored that. Wasn't relevant at the moment. Instead, he went on his page with his tags and chose "mine".

_imagine waking up with louis and not being able to walk :)_  
 _imagine waking up with louis and making him pancakes :)_  
 _imagine waking up with louis and sharing pancakes :)_  
 _imagine waking up with louis :)_

_ok so ive been 18 for a while somebody tell why me and louis arent married yet i feel like that is a thing i should have accomplished by now_

_*accidentally forgets real life exists because louis tomlinson*_

_if anyone gives louis shit THEY WILL ANSWER TO ME kidding louis will deal with that himself while i stand behind and pat him lovingly on the shoulder :)_

_**louis:** you cant go to bed without a cup of tea  
 **me:** *starts drinking tea every night so i can pretend the song is about me*_

_louis is kind of like drugs like in the beginning its like oh wow how enjoyable but then its like BAM MOHAHAHA you thought you could stop well no mister heres some pain and orgasms and some more pain  
is it obvious that i have never actually done drugs_

The list went on.

Embarrassed, Harry handed over the phone. "I know you've already read all of them, but still."

Zayn grabbed it and started scrolling. "Harry." He laughed, as he continued on reading.

Covering his face in his hands, Harry mumbled. "I'm so stupid."

"Hey." Zayn nudged his shoulder and gave the phone back. "I'm equally as stupid. Don't forget that. We're both in this together, remember?"

"I know." Harry smiled sheepish as he put the phone back.

"Well, what is it that has gotten you sad then?"

"I'm not sad. I just." Harry sighed. "Like, so I just made it abundantly clear that I've been practically obsessed with Louis for a while and now that I have actually met I him I just feel like, I don't know, I just. I don't know."

"It wasn't as good as you hoped it would be?" Zayn suggested after a moment of silence.

"No. Not that." Harry stated firmly, shaking his head. "It was - it was better, you know?"

Harry looked at Zayn expectantly but he only looked back in confusion. "I don't think I'm quite following you."

"Yeah, no, of course not." Harry looked straight ahead. "Like, you weren't there. But he was so amazing, and funny, and sweet and kind, and like. He was so much better than I could have ever imagined. And, what if-" Harry took a deep breath. "What if this is it? What if we get back to the hotel and he's gone? Then what?"

"Then it will only be a good memory."

"Exactly!" Harry exclaimed, sounding horrified. "But I don't want just a good memory. That's not enough. Like, I don't want a fanpicture or something, I want him. And more now than ever before."

Zayn seemed to consider this for a moment before he spoke. "If you're so worried, why don't you just go over to his then?"

"Yeah, that was the plan but then I figured he probably doesn't want me to."

"Why's that?" Zayn frowned.

"Because he touched me and then he ran away."

"So?"

"Zayn." Harry turned to look him straight in the eyes, enunciating every word clearly. "He touched me, and then he ran away. That's not usually a good sign. And I don't want to force him into anything he doesn't want to do."

Zayn rolled his eyes. "I think you're forgetting that Louis is a big boy who can handle himself. And I don't think you could have forced him into something even if you wanted to. He kind of would have beaten the shit out of you."

Harry snorted but couldn't help but to smile. "Most likely, yeah."

"Honestly, Harry, if you really want to see him-"

"I do." Harry confirmed, but Zayn ignored him.

"- you should just go over. Really. You're not ever going to get an opportunity like this ever again, so just go for it. If it all goes to hell, at least you tried."

"I guess." Harry mumbled, still not entirely convinced.

"Look, if it was Liam I would have been banging on his door begging him to spend time with me."

"No, you wouldn't."

"No, I would have been in my room crying. Irrelevant. But you have actually managed to talk to him, and I think I'll might kill you if you don't grasp this opportunity."

Harry stared forward and sighed. "But what if he doesn't like me?" His voice was barely a whisper.

"Again, Harry, you're underestimating yourself. And from what I could gather earlier, you seemed to be getting along pretty well." Zayn smiled gently and patted Harry and the shoulder. "And like I said, if it all goes to hell, at least you'll have a good best friend to complain to."

Slowly, a large grin formed on Harry's face. "You're right, I guess."

"Of course I'm right." Zayn scuffed indignantly. "I'm always right."

"What do I say, though? When I drop by? Like, Hey it's me, Harry - your crazy stalker, who just happened to drop by in the middle of the night for no reason what so ever?"

"I don't know." Zayn pretended to think about it for a minute. "Maybe not that."

"Agree. But what exactly should I say, though? Seriously?"

"I don't know, man. That's up for you to decide."

"That's not very helpful." Harry frowned. "What would you have done?"

"Maybe I would have bought some flowers and quoted a love song."

"No, you wouldn't."

"No, I wouldn't. But that doesn't matter, because this isn't about me, this is about you." Suddenly, Zayn sounded surprisingly firm and almost annoyed. "And to be honest, I have no idea what you're doing here with me when you should be out sweeping your man over."

And that was the last drop needed.

Suddenly more determined than ever before, Harry rose to his feet and stretched his arms. "You coming?" He said when he noticed that Zayn hadn't moved.

"Nah." Zayn replied, putting his hands behind his head. "Think I'll stay for a while longer. It's a nice view."

And it was a nice view; the swirl of people, the old buildings, the Easter decorations that were hanging in the windows. Harry thought back at the night before, at his and Zayn's crazy drunk adventures. Maybe they had been here at this place even, Harry unfortunately didn't remember. He really would like to rediscover the streets of London in a sober state, but this wasn't the time for that.

London wasn't going anywhere.

"Alright." Harry agreed. "I'll see you later then."

"Yeah. I'll see you later." Zayn said casually, as if something major wasn't just about to happen.

As Harry turned around, and was about make his way down the street, he could hear Zayn calling out to him one last time. "Hey, Harry?"

He turned around. "Yeah?"

"Good luck."

The two boys smiled back at each other. 

"Thanks."

Harry had hardly taken two step the other way, before he turned around again. "Hey, Zayn?"

"Yeah?" 

Harry swallowed. He knew he was behaving childishly, but he couldn’t help himself. "Do I look alright?"

He was still wearing his classic Harry outfit; a tight pair of dark jeans and a worn out t-shirt, with a warm jacket on top. Basically he just looked like himself. Just Harry, not more or less.

"You look better than alright." Zayn reassured with a smile, sounding genuine.

And that was all the encouragement Harry needed; because Zayn was a lot of things; hot, kind, funny, but he wasn’t a liar. Therefore, without further ado, Harry offered him a small, thankful smile, before turning around again, this time without looking back.

It was sort of dreamlike when he walked the streets alone, this late at night. Kind of like he was floating; like he was somewhere else entirely, experiencing this through someone else’s eyes. Like everything was too real to be true, if that made any sense. Harry didn’t know. Harry didn’t know anything apart from the fact that he was experiencing troubles in the breathing department.

Twenty minutes later, he found himself in the narrow alley leading up to their hotel. It was almost pitch black this March night, the lanterns doing a poor job at lightening the street. It could have been pitch black though, Harry probably still would have found. Institution maybe.

When he finally got there, he opened the door, determined not to start overthinking or over analysing this, because god knows what conclusion he might come up with. Instead, he kept his mind blissfully blank, only repeating to himself “room 206, room 206”. That was all he needed at the time being.

However, when he was actually facing room 206, he stared at it for a while before actually mustering up the courage to knock. He started to feel anxious as time progressed and no one opened, but let out a heavy breath filled with relief when he heard the door being unlocked. Harry glared down at his feet nervously, as the door was slowly being opened. When he looked up, he was greeted by the sight of Louis peeking through the door, looking like a mixture of sceptic, confused, and apprehensive. It was pretty obvious that he hadn’t been expecting company due to the fact that he was wearing the same sweatpants as he had just a couple of hours ago when he and Harry had met, his hair was messier than it had been before, like he had been rolling around on the floor or something, and he was wearing glasses. Harry had never expected to be privileged enough to see him in glasses ever, so he considered himself lucky.

“Uh, hi?” Louis furrowed his eyebrows together, obviously not seeing the reason for Harry’s sudden appearance. Harry had a hard time seeing it himself.

“Hello.” Harry aimed for casual, but it came out a bit choked.

“Um, so, what are you doing here?” Louis asked slowly, still remaining hesitant.

“Yeah, I dunno, I just,” Harry shrugged nonchalantly; or what he hoped would come across as nonchalantly “Wondered if you wanted to hang out?”

Louis answered instantly, this time sounding kind of annoyed. “Do you know what time it is?”

Harry didn't answer for another second; both because he needed to compose himself but also because he hadn't checked the time since leaving Zayn. “Truthfully, no.”

“Almost midnight.” Louis replied, and yes. He was most definitely annoyed.

“Oh.”

“ _Oh?_ " Louis repeated, crossing his arms and squinting his eyes. "Really? That’s all you’ve got to say?”

Harry could feel his cheeks flush, this really wasn’t going the way it was meant to. Maybe he should have overthought this, maybe then he would have had a proper thing to say.

“Well, you know, it’s a Saturday, so it’s common that you stay up late.”

If Harry thought that would improve things, he was very wrong.

“I stay up late every night, doesn’t really make it any more okay.”

“Yeah, well.” Harry swallowed thickly, ignoring Louis' death stare the best he could.

Louis let out an annoyed sigh, swiped his fringe out of his face before addressing Harry again. “Is this your idea of a booty call? Because if you thought I was interested in that, you are very much mistaken.”

Harry looked up at Louis’ furious face, blinking a few times. “What? No, I-”

“Oh, don’t think I don’t see what’s going on!" Louis carried on, as if Harry hadn't spoken. "Like, ooh, let’s fuck the hot celebrity next door, all of my friends will think I’m soo cool-”

“What, no-"

“-and popular and shit. Maybe I'll just drop by and he'll totally just- "

"- that's really not-"

"- think I'm super hot and sexy because of my ridiculous curly hair-"

"Excuse me."

"-and absurd green eyes-"

"Well."

"-and stupid personality."

"Huh."

"Yeah, well, newsflash for you," Louis pointed a finger at Harry, causing him to take one step back unconsciously, before he continued on hissing "that ain’t gonna happen!”

Louis continued to glare fiercely at Harry, clearly determined to make Harry feel as perplexed as possible. Taking heavy breath, Harry began to feel bad that he had made Louis so upset. That was really never his intention. Bashful, he stared down at the ground and scratched his neck.

“That is actually not what I thought at all. I’m so sorry you got that impression.”

When he looked up again, Louis seemed to have relaxed a bit. "Really?" He asked tentatively, not quite believing him.

"One hundred percent." Harry confirmed, looking Louis straight in the eyes this time. "Trust me, I would never, ever use you in such a way."

Louis crossed his arms again while raising his eyebrows. "You mean that?"

"Yes!" Harry insisted, becoming kind of desperate not to have Louis seeing him as some kind of womanizing whore that only wanted to get into people's pants. Enough people thought that already; he couldn't have Louis thinking that as well. "Really, I would never do anything you didn't want to. Seriously, I only dropped by because I thought you'd like some company. And we got along well enough before, so I figured you wouldn't mind too much."

Suddenly, Louis uncrossed his arms and let them fall loosely on his sides. He looked somewhat regretful. "Yeah, we did. I guess I just, eh, read too much into it, then."

"No, that's alright, I get why there'd be a misunderstanding. Really." Harry quickly reassured. "However, to make this perfectly clear, I'm not here to do any funny business. Just here to do whatever it is two blokes who barely know each other do in the middle of the night at a cheap hotel."

Louis raised one eyebrow.

Harry coughed. "I mean, apart from the thing that they normally do."

Louis still had his eyebrow raised.

Harry blushed. "I repeat, my intentions are pure."

Louis shook his head. "Yeah, no, I believe you. I'm sorry, I really overreacted. It's just that I'm going through some shit, and I'm a mess, and yeah. I'm sorry."

"That's alright." After a moment of silence, Harry added, gesturing his head into the room. "Does that mean I can come in?"

Louis cracked a smile in response. "Yeah, that does mean you can come in, I guess."

Not waiting for any further encouragement, Harry immediately made his way forward and entered the room as Louis stepped aside. The room was just as small as Harry and Zayn's and the walls had the same ugly pink-grayish colour. Basically, they were identical.

"Your room looks exactly like ours." Harry commented.

"You don't say?" Louis replied sarcastically as he closed the door.

Ignoring that comment, Harry stepped forward to where Louis' suitcase was laying. However, it was almost empty, seeing as almost all of his clothes lay splattered all over the floor.

"It is also, if I may say so, unreasonably messy given the fact that you have only been staying for ten hours, and out of which you have spent the majority of time in my room."  


Louis rolled his eyes exasperatedly. "Well, excuse me, mum, I wasn't exactly expecting company."

"Fair enough."

"Besides,” Louis crossed his arms, and squinted his eyes, looking at Harry suspiciously “Have you been counting the amount of hours I've stayed here?"

"Not counting, per say, I just know that you dropped by around two, and you said that it's twelve now, and twelve minus two equals ten, so."

Louis examined Harry. "Huh."

"Yeah."

"Well, that makes perfect sense I guess." Louis said, clasping his hands together. Harry nodded in agreement before turning around to go sit on the bed, but was stopped by the sound of Louis' voice, which sounded strangely hectic. "Wait, wait, wait!"

Shocked, Harry stopped abruptly to look back at Louis, furrowing his eyebrows together. "Huh?"

"How about," Louis leaped forward and put his hands on Harry's shoulders "you sit here." He led Harry straight over to the left end of the bed, where he sat down obediently, looking at Louis with wide eyes.

"And I," Louis made his way over to the right end of the bed where he sat down. "Sit here."

Harry continued to stare at Louis, who sat there in his sweatpants and glasses, looking mildly uncomfortable. "Um."

"Perfect arrangement." Louis said, with a big smile that appeared kind of forced. His eyes usually crinkled when he had his genuine smile, and they didn't do that this time. Harry noticed these kind of things.

"Right." Harry said, in loss of anything else. _Perfect, indeed. I quite like having distance between us. It's not like I want to cuddle you right now._

"Yeah." Louis said, and put both of his hands on his thighs before looking at Harry, appearing kind of distressed. "Look, Harry, I feel like there is something I need to say. You know, so that you don't get the wrong idea or anything."

"Okay. Shoot." Harry encouraged, never removing his gaze from Louis.

Louis took a deep breath, and spoke seriously, looking directly into Harry's eyes. "I'm not gay."

It was like a punch to the stomach. Harry didn't know what to what to feel, nor what he was supposed to be feeling. Truthfully, he had kind of taken for granted that he was, or at least bi, especially since that conversation yesterday with Zayn when he had basically guaranteed Harry that he was. But at the end of the day, what did he know? He didn't know Louis, and neither did Harry, obviously. So, of course Louis had been upset when Harry had just dropped by if he was thinking that he only wanted to have sex with him. Of course that had made him uncomfortable. Harry hoped that the hurt and disappointment didn't show too obvious on his face. 

"Right."

"You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, of course." Harry tried to ignore the painfully present knot in his stomach. "Yeah, you know, not like I care or anything. Like I said earlier, that's not why I dropped by."

"Yeah, you did say that." Louis agreed. "I just wanted to make sure."

"I get that. Besides, it's not like, you know, I'm gay either, so." Technically not a lie, since he was bi. Unintended rhyme.

That seemed to surprise Louis. His eyebrows went up, and he stared at Harry in disbelief. " _Really?_ "

"Yes." Harry answered, determined not to give in, despite the way his hands were shaking and he kind of wanted to cry. "Is that so hard to believe?"

Louis blinked. "Um. Well."

Harry continued. "I like girls." Still not lying. His reputation at school would support this statement. "Boobs are really nice."

Louis snorted and removed his fringe from his face, just like he had earlier. "Yeah, boobs are bloody _fantastic_." His voice was reeking with sarcasm, but Harry was oblivious.

"I think so too. Nice texture."

"Just amazing." Louis said blankly.

"Fit nicely in your hands."

Louis hummed noncommittally.

"Or, well, I have quite big hands so they'd have to be big boobs for me to-"

"Right." Louis cut him off, sounding impatient. 

Harry didn’t know what more to say, so he remained quiet. From the annoyed look on Louis’ face, it seemed like he didn’t want to join Harry in his boobs appreciation speech. Fine. 

“So,” Louis began, clasping his two hands together. 

“So,” Harry continued, looking apprehensible at Louis. 

"So," Louis repeated, clearly trying to change the subject "How are you?"

"I'm good." Harry answered.

"Good."

"How are you?"

"Great."

"Good."

Quiet.

“So, what do you want to do?” Louis asked after a minute of excruciating silence.

Harry looked at Louis’ face, his mouth which was shut into a tight line, and his blue eyes which were piercing into Harry’s, and couldn’t help but to feel like there was something unsaid lingering in the air, like there was he was supposed to be saying to please Louis somehow. He just didn’t know what. It was strange though, since they had gotten along so well just some hour ago. 

“I don’t know.” Harry’s mind was racing, _what did two normal blokes do when they hung out?_ When he was with Nick he usually thought about what he should tell Zayn later, and when he was with Zayn he talked about how much he wanted to bang Louis. And doing either of that right now would just be weird. After a moment of thought, Harry had an idea. 

“Well, um. There’s this one thing we could do, I guess.”

“What’s that?” 

“Well, um.” Harry scratched the back of his head. “There’s this game me and my friends have been playing a lot.” 

Louis raised his eyebrows. “Yeah? Which one?” 

“It’s this game on your phone, I don’t think you’ve heard of it-“

“Why?” Louis interrupted. “Just because I’m famous doesn’t mean I don’t do normal stuff. I also have a phone, you know.” 

“Well, maybe you can guess which one it is then.” 

“Angry birds?” Louis suggested immediately, wasting to time waiting. 

“Nope.”

“Temple run?”

“Nope.”

“Subway surfers?”

“Nope.” 

“Candy crush?”

“Nope.” 

“That one where you, like, move a piece of rock?”

“What?”

“Okay, no then. That one’s boring anyway. Plants vs. zombies?”

“Nope.”

Louis seemed to be out of suggestions. “Um.”

Smirking, Harry tried not to look too pleased with himself. “I told you, you wouldn’t know which one.”

“Shut up, I’m not done.” Louis said while laughing. 

Harry rolled his eyes and sighed heavily, feigning annoyance. “I’ll wait.” 

Louis covered his face in his hands and groaned. “Damn it, I should know this.” 

“Well, at least now I know what you guys do whilst you’re touring.” Harry continued on in a solemn voice, sounding utterly despaired. “Playing games on your phones.” 

Laughing, Louis removed his hands from his face. “Well, what else is there to do?” 

“I remember in the good old days,” Harry said, raising a hand to his chest “when I was young, and celebrities used to spend their time doing important stuff, such as responding to fan letters.” 

“Well, excuse you, old Harold, but nowadays we use this thing called technology. Maybe you’ve heard of it?”

“Maybe I’ve read about it somewhere.” 

“Good for you. And you see, with this technology thing, we can reach out to our fans through sites such as Twitter. Maybe you’ve heard of that, too?” 

“My daughter might have mentioned it.” 

“Right.” Louis nodded in interest. “The one you have with your platonic mate Zayn, and which you are also going to our show with?”

“That’s the one!” Harry confirmed, smiling. “Good girl, she is. On top of her class.”

“Yeah, I can imagine.” Louis played along. “If she has a tenth of your intelligence, she must be quite brilliant.”

Harry paused, blinking. “Are you calling me stupid?”

“No, of course not. I would never suggest such a thing.” 

Narrowing his eyes, Harry replied. “Good.”

“Anyway, speaking of technology, I will now go get my phone because I’m going to find out which game you are talking about.” 

“Good luck with that.” 

Louis stood up and Harry’s eyes followed his bum as he walked. He leaned down by the drawer and opened it, where the phone lay, as if it was hidden. 

“You always keep your phone in there?”

“Not exactly.” Louis said as he sat down next to Harry again (or maybe next to was a bit of an exaggeration, seeing as they were still as far away from each other as possible). He turned his phone on. “I usually don’t have it off, either.” 

When Louis noticed the puzzled look Harry was giving him, he shrugged it off. “It’s no big deal. Don’t think about it.” 

“Alright.” Harry replied slowly, still confused. He would however, without a doubt, think about it later when he was alone. Maybe he’d write a masterpost on Tumblr about it later; “Why Louis Tomlinson keeps his phone hidden and turned off”. Haha. Nah. He wouldn’t do that. He wasn’t crazy. 

The phone flashed light in Louis’ face when he typed in the pin code. When the phone was on, Harry felt an overwhelming urge to crawl over and see what he had as a background picture. But instead of doing that, he decided to use his voice.

“What’s your background?” 

Louis looked surprised up from his phone. “Huh?” 

“Your background.” Harry repeated patiently. “On your phone. What is it?” 

“Oh.” Louis looked back at his phone, seeming to contemplate his answer. “It’s, uh, a piece of lasagne.”

“Really?” Harry asked. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t that. 

“Yeah.” Louis chuckled. “It’s just, my mum makes the best homemade lasagne. Trust me, you have now idea. Yum, yum.” Louis rubbed his belly. Harry tried not to go _awww_. “Anyway, being on a tour and everything, you get homesick a lot. So, I took this picture during my last birthday, and now every time I feel a bit homesick, I just look at my homemade lasagne and feel a little bit better.” 

Harry stared at Louis in awe, completely speechless. Louis seemed to interpret Harry’s silence the wrong way and started laughing nervously. 

“Sorry, that probably sounded, like, extremely lame and stupid –“

“No, no, no.” Harry cut him off. “It didn’t sound stupid. Not at all. Promise.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, it made perfect sense. Really, I get it. It was cute.”

“Okay.” Louis smiled tentatively. Harry smiled back. “What’s your background, then?”

“Don’t remember.” _You_. “I change it a lot.” _From different pictures of you_. 

Accepting that as an answer, Louis nodded and stared back at his phone. Harry couldn’t help but to notice the slightly worried look on his face which wasn’t present earlier. 

“Everything alright?” He asked. 

“Yeah.” Louis answered instantly, although not convincingly, looking back at Harry. “I just got a voice message from one of my mates, and I should probably, you know, listen to it.”

“Well, go ahead. I don’t mind.”

“Not until I’ve found out which game you were talking about, Harold.” Louis smirked but it never quite reached his eyes. 

“Hit me, then.”

“Well.” Louis scrolled through his phone, and Harry couldn’t help but to notice that he had a lot of apps. No wonder he wanted to figure this out. “Something you play with your friends. So, maybe one where you compete with others, correct?”

“Correct.”

“Okay, then. This game is pretty old but, Draw Something?”

Harry shook his head. “Nope.” 

“Okay, fine.” Louis groaned. “I give up! What was it?” 

Smiling self-satisfied, Harry answered. “Wordfeud.”

There was a moment of silence. 

Harry stared at Louis.

Louis stared at Harry.

Harry felt uncomfortable.

“ _Wordfeud?_ ” Louis repeated in disbelief. 

“That is what I just said.” 

“Wait, wait, wait.” Louis raised one hand and closed his eyes. “Are you telling me that you and your friends usually sit around and play wordfeud, and that’s what you thought we should do too?”

“Well, um.” Harry blushed. “Maybe not me and my friends. More, like, me and my family. My sister’s really ace at it, but my mum’s not so much. I’d rather not evaluate my own performance, seeing as I wouldn’t be able to have an objective opinion. But to be honest, I think I’m pretty good, if I may say so myself. And when I say wordfeud, I mean scrabble.” 

“Wow.” Louis had now opened his eyes and stared at Harry in disbelief, his eyes wide. “You really are a forty year old in disguise.” 

Harry chuckled. “Yeah, I get that a lot.”

Louis eyes went up and down Harry’s body, taking him in. Maybe Harry should have felt self-conscious, but he didn’t. For some reason, he only enjoyed the attention.

“How are you even real?”

Harry’s eyes met Louis’ blue ones, and he wanted to ask the same thing back at him. 

“I don’t know.” 

They continued to stare at each other before Louis seemed to realise there was a thing he was supposed to be doing. 

“Right!” he exclaimed. “My voice message.”

He jumped off the bed, but since the room was unbelievably small he really didn’t have anywhere to go if he wanted any privacy. Or, the bathroom perhaps, but Louis Tomlinson refused to listen to voice messages where he did his business on principle. Unnecessary principle perhaps, but still. Therefore, he just leaned against the wall in front of Harry. 

“Gonna listen now.” He mumbled to himself, and brought the phone to his ear. 

Harry sat quietly on the bed with his eyes penetrated on Louis, as always. The room was completely silent, until there suddenly was low, stifled sound coming from the phone. Harry obviously couldn’t tell what was being said exactly, but he could have sworn whoever was on the line was yelling. And if the muffled, high-pitched sound wasn’t enough to confirm Harry of this, Louis’ shocked expression really did it. His eyes were wide and blinking rapidly, and he moved the phone away from his ear a bit, as if to protect himself from the high sound. Harry badly wanted to know what was going on, but since he didn’t want to interrupt anything, he remained glued to his seat with his mouth shut.

Louis continued to stare absently into air, as the yelling continued. But then, abruptly, the sound stopped. It took a moment, however, before Louis seemed to realise this, and he lowered his phone and put it gently on the drawer. 

Harry still didn’t say anything. Louis continued to look anywhere but at Harry, appearing to be somewhere else entirely. 

“Um.” Harry said, feeling uncomfortable. He wanted to do something, anything, to make the tension go away and make Louis look at him again. Preferably smiling. He continued on in a gentle, cautious voice. “Are you okay?” 

Louis still wouldn’t look at him, he only gave a short nod, which wasn’t convincing at all. 

“You sure?” Harry asked as carefully as he could. He didn’t want to push anything and it was obvious Louis was on the edge of breaking. But still, he had to say something. “You don’t look okay.” 

“I’m fine.” His voice was rough and sharp. 

Harry swallowed, but he still refused to drop it. “You’re absolutely sure? Because otherwise-“ 

“Okay, fucking hell.” Louis snapped, and banged his hand on the drawer. He was now looking directly at Harry, who sat tense on the bed, sort of wishing he hadn’t said anything at all. “I’m not fine, okay? Is that what you want me to say? That I feel like shit right now?”

That was the last thing in the world Harry wanted him to say, but he didn’t have the chance to argue before Louis was yelling at him again. 

“Do you think I like having my friends yelling at me? Do you think I like knowing that I deserve it because I’m a lousy, piece of shit who can’t do anything right?” 

Harry couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t feel his body. He tried to speak. “I really don’t think-“

“Shut up!” Louis interrupted harshly, waving his hands in the air. “It’s true! I suck, and I’m worthless and-“

Harry was having none of that. He stood up, facing Louis. “No, you shut up!” He shouted, unsure where the sudden confidence came from. “Jesus fucking Christ, Louis, that is not true, and you shut it right now.” 

“What the fuck do you know about that?” Louis countered, equally as passionately. “You don’t know me. Trust me, if you did, you wouldn’t have liked me.”

“What makes you say that?” Harry’s heart was beating furiously in his chest. He knew he should relax, but that was physically impossible. 

“Because nobody does!” Louis cried out, and Harry could see the desperation in his eyes. “So why would you?” 

Harry was tenser than he had ever been before. He knew that this was all bullshit, of course. Everyone liked Louis, it was sort of a world known fact. He was kind of impossible not to like, Harry would know. What had Harry puzzled, was the fact that Louis seemed so sure of this fact. It was ridiculous. 

“I have genuinely no idea what you’re talking about.” Harry stated more calmly this time, looking into Louis’ clearly upset eyes. 

“Okay, yeah. Sure, fine.” Louis sighed heavily. Harry was still speechless, having no idea what to say to make this better again. Suddenly, Louis looked exceptionally tired. He turned to look at the door. “Well, the door is over there, if you, you know.” 

Harry wanted to cry. It was stupid, which of course made sense because he was stupid. Here he was, having a golden opportunity to finally get Louis, and he had actually managed to fuck it up. All the awards to Harry Styles; idiot of the year, fuck up of the century. And it was all going to end with a _well, the door is over there, if you, you know_. Harry looked from the door onto Louis, who was staring down at the ground. 

“Do you want me to leave?” Harry couldn’t conceal the hurt in his voice. 

Slowly, Louis lifted his gaze from the floor and looked at Harry questioning. “Don’t you want to leave?”

Harry couldn’t lie. Especially not to Louis. “No.” 

“Oh.” This seemed to catch Louis by surprise. “Why not? I mean, I’ve been a total bitch to you two times now. Like, I’d get it if you want to leave. I wouldn’t blame you.”

Harry felt completely drained. Today had been a long day. Too long. Just a couple of hours ago he had been more happy than he had ever been in his entire life. And now, standing here in the middle of the night with the most beautiful person on the planet right in front of him, he was more scared than he had ever been in his entire life. 

Ultimately, Harry decided that he really didn’t have anything to loose. Even if Louis wasn’t gay, he might as well put it all out there. 

“Because I think about you every day.” 

Harry voice was hushed, but it sounded way too loud in this way too quiet room. He looked at Louis, wanting to see his reaction, but he was silent, waiting for Harry to continue. He did.

“I compare everyone I meet with you, and no one even stands a chance.”

That was it, Harry couldn’t even look at Louis anymore, feeling way too exposed. He knew he was blushing, and started to fidget with his hands, avoiding eye contact as he continued. 

“I genuinely would have done anything for you to just pay attention to me. I even wrote to you on Twitter once, but you never responded. That’s why I made that comment earlier about answering fan letters.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. And I get that this is probably, like, super creepy. But I just had to say it, so I wouldn’t have any regret’s later.” 

Harry dared to look at Louis. It seemed like he wasn’t breathing. Harry knew that feeling.

“But to answer your question; no. I don’t want to leave. But if you want me to, I’ll be gone within one second and won’t bother you ever again.”

And that was it. Harry had said everything he could have, and the ball was now in Louis’ hands. 

The room was silent. 

“But.” Louis voice was barely audible. 

_But is not good_. The voice panicking in Harry’s mind said, but he ignored that. 

“But, what?”

“But you said you weren’t gay and that you wanted us to play scrabble.” 

“Oh, right.” Harry chuckled sheepish. “Well, I’m bi. So, not technically gay. And come on, Lou, it’s not like I actually wanted us to play scrabble.”

“But.” Louis repeated.

 _But is still not good_. The voice in Harry’s insisted. 

“But what?”

“But I look like a mess.” Louis finally said, which caught Harry by surprise. 

And yeah, sure, he was wearing his grey sweatpants and a loose blue t-shirt, which might not be the most flattering outfit. And to be honest, his glasses didn’t fully hide the bags under his eyes. But still, he was not even close to the description “a mess.”

“I think you’re stunning.”

Louis eyes lightened up a bit at that, but he still seemed unreasonably upset. Wanting to change that, Harry continued, this time smirking. 

“One might say you are insecure, and I have no idea what for.”

Louis rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help but to laugh. “Because I’m turning heads when I walk through the door?”

“I am quite happy to inform you that you don’t need makeup to cover up, because being the way that you are is enough.” 

Instead of actually answering, Louis only laughed again. His eyes crinkled, Harry noticed, which meant it was a genuine laugh. Harry was pleased about that fact.

“But really, Lou, everyone else in the room can see it. Which, you know, is me.” He put a hand to his chest as if he took great pride in this. “Everyone else but you.” 

Louis still had a big grin on his face. “So, basically, what you’re telling me is that I light up your world like nobody else?” 

“Pretty much. And I’d say that the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed but, I don’t know. Your hair is quite short so I’m not too sure I’d be that overwhelmed, if I’m being honest.”

Gasping in horror, Louis replied. “How dare you?” 

Harry shrugged. “Well, we could always find out, could we not?”

Louis spend to time considering this, but bend down immediately and started wiping his hair back and forward. It had some appeal to it, Harry admitted. Just not in a sexual way. More in a _wow, look at me, I am adorably dorky_ , kind of way. Louis stopped his movement, and looked up at Harry, with his hands on his knees. 

“You overwhelmed yet?”

Seeing the happy look on Louis’ face was enough for Harry to go all aboard on this. “Oh, yes, fuck Louis, I’m so overwhelmed.” Without giving it much thought, he threw himself on the middle of the bed, burying his face in a pile of pillows. “Can’t breathe, too overwhelmed.” 

Louis’ cheery laughter echoed through the room. “You know, I really shouldn’t be doing this.” 

Harry’s heart stopped. He shifted his head slightly so that he could be heard. “Do what?”

Suddenly, there was a bounce on the bed, and Harry could feel two small, but insistent hands taking a hold on his shoulders and moving him so that he was laying with his back pressed against the bed. On top of him was now Louis, straddling his hips, his hands still firm on Harry’s shoulder. The two boys looked at each other, with a thousand words being said only by looking into each other’s eyes. 

“This.” Louis said, as he leaned down and pressed his lips hard against Harry’s. After the initial one second of shock, followed by hurried an incoherent sentence consisting of _oh my god is this happening it is happening_ , Harry spend no time hesitating what to do; this was his shot, and he intended to make the most out of it. He immediately put his two hands on Louis’ back and pulled him closer, as he pushed himself forward on his elbows. 

Louis’ hands released their grip on Harry’s shoulders, and his right hand went to grip Harry’s face, to get a better hold of him, as his other went into Harry’s hair. The kiss was deep and passionate, and Harry would have thought he would be the one practically eating Louis, but it seemed like Louis wanted this just as much, as he continued to kiss Harry both hungry and needy, while shifting slightly so he could push their two dicks together shamelessly. Harry couldn’t help but to moan at that, while gasping for air. He was now overwhelmed, to say the least. Louis took this as an opportunity to move his lips to Harry’s throat where they began to suck for a bruise. Harry felt like he was exploding, like he was fireworks in the middle of the night, instead of himself. 

“You know,” Louis stopped sucking for a moment to speak, looking at Harry. “This is really not what I needed right now.”

Harry fell back on the bed, his head on the pillows, while Louis got back to business. Harry’s kept his two hands steadfastly on Louis’ back, keeping him close. He closed his eyes. There wasn't enough air in the room. “You sure about that, babe? Because you seem to be needing it quite a lot.”

When Harry felt the loss of Louis on his neck, he opened his eyes to see Louis staring at him just inches away. “Fuck you.” 

“Certainly seems like you’re trying to.” Harry smirked. 

At that, Louis stopped rubbing their erections together and pushed himself up, despite Harry’s desire to keep in exactly where he was. He was now sitting on top of Harry, staring down at him while narrowing his eyes. “Cheeky bastard.” When Harry only smirked and moved forward to reconnect their lips, he was stopped by Louis’ right hand pushing him back down on his back. “Take your shirt off. And your trousers, I liked you better without them.” 

“Anything for you.” Harry said and immediately pulled his t-shirt off. The second it was off, Louis’ hands found Harry’s stomach, and he stared at Harry in awe. 

“Fuck, you’re hot.” 

Harry smiled widely, his cheeks flushed and his eyes wide open. “You think?” 

Louis leaned down, pressing his lips against Harry’s again, shutting him up. “Yeah.”

As Louis pushed himself down on him, Harry moved his two hands to under Louis’ t-shirt, where he started stroking them up and down Louis’ warm skin. However, he couldn’t help but to feel like his trousers were unbelievably tight. 

Pulling away from the kiss, he said. “Not that I’m complaining, but I’m finding it rather difficult to remove my trousers when you’re on me like that.” 

“Right.” Louis said, and pressed on quick kiss on Harry’s right cheek before suddenly making his way downwards. Harry’s heart was racing. “Let me take care of that, sweetheart.” 

Louis pressed slow, languid kisses along Harry’s bare chest as he continued down towards the hem of his trousers. He pressed his palm against Harry’s bulge, and Harry couldn’t help but to moan in return. 

“Well, I can see why they’re tight.” Louis smirked, and looked up at Harry challenging. 

“Just get them off.” Harry groaned in frustration, not able to form a cheeky response when Louis was in between his thighs like that. He was barely able to think. 

“Sure thing, love.” 

Louis undid the zipper and started pulling them down, although it required some effort, since they were, at stated previously, incredibly tight. Once they were entirely off though, Harry gasped in relief, suddenly feeling much freer. But when Louis was about to pull down his boxers as well, he abruptly sat up. 

“Wait.” He said, which caused Louis too look up from his crotch in surprise. Harry had to take a steady breath in order to calm himself from the sight. _Fuck, fuck, fuck._ He continued to pant, almost completely unable to form coherent words out of his mouth. “I just- fuck Louis, I-“

Louis started rubbing his palm against his bulge, which certainly wasn’t helpful, and said in an innocent voice, like he knew exactly what he was doing to Harry. “What is it?” 

“Damn it.” Harry cursed and shifted, removing Louis’ hand from crotch, and put two hands Louis’ hips and threw him down so that it was now him was laying on his back, with Harry on top. He was staring up at Harry, clearly surprised by the sudden turn of events. “I just. There’s something that I’ve always wanted to do.” 

Louis eyes flickered between Harry’s eyes and mouth. “What’s that?” 

“You’ll see.” Harry smirked. “Remove your shirt and I’ll remove your trousers.” 

Both of them got to business, neither wasting anytime hesitating. Louis’ trousers hung loosely around his waist so they weren’t such as struggle getting off, such as Harry’s had been. That didn’t been he wasn’t equally as hard though, something which Harry took great pride in. Louis pushed himself up on his elbows and stared at Harry in anticipation. His body was sweaty, and Harry wanted to lick all over it. 

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous.” Harry stated matter of factly, before tearing his eyes off Louis perfect face and returned his attention back to the hard cock in the boxers underneath him. His hands slowly removed them, and unlike Louis earlier, he wasn’t stopped. Louis cock popped free and Harry wanted to take a picture of it and have it as a background on his phone. He didn’t do that though, because a) that would have been weird, b) it would break the mood and c) he had more important business to attend to.

“I’ve wanted to do this for so long.” Harry gasped, and he could hear Louis panting in response. 

“Harry-“Louis moaned, but was interrupted by Harry putting his hand around the lower part of Louis’ cock, while putting the head in the mouth. 

Harry closed his eyes, and started sucking intently and hungry, determined to make this as pleasurable as possible for Louis. 

“Harry, _fuck_.” Louis panted desperately. 

If Harry’s mouth wasn’t otherwise occupied, he would have smirked. After a moment of continuous licks, and a lot of panting and moaning on Louis’ side, Harry removed his mouth to breathe, but continued on stroking the cock which was now covered in precome and Harry’s spit. He looked up at Louis, whose forehead was covered in sweat but still looked undeniably gorgeous. And really, Harry couldn’t believe his fucking luck. He couldn’t believe that he was the one who was making Louis so flushed; that all of this was for him. And he wanted to make the most out of it. 

“Could you be louder?” Harry asked. “I want to hear you.” 

“Yeah, alright.” Louis agreed. 

Nodding, Harry returned to business. His own cock started aching for attention, but he ignored that and remained all of his focus on Louis, who kept true to his promise and started talking.

“Fuck, Harry. God, that feels so good. Harry. Oh my god. Harry. _Harry_.” With Louis’ encouragements, Harry started sucking even more eagerly. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, Harry. Your mouth was made for this, you know that right? _Fuck_.” 

Harry pulled away again. “Are you close?” 

“Yeah.” Louis confirmed, and just as Harry was about put his mouth back, he was stopped by Louis’ wrecked voice. “Wait.”

Harry’s hand was still on Louis’ cock, but he wasn’t stroking it anymore. “What?”

“I just-“Louis shifted so that he was sitting up, taking deep breaths as if he was calming himself. He wiped his forehead, and looked into Harry’s eyes. “Would you, I mean, like, would it be, you know-“

“Just spit it out, Lou.” Harry interrupted Louis’ rambling. 

Louis swallowed. “Would I be alright if I fucked you? Because I really, really want that.”

Louis looked pleadingly at Harry, who laughed a little breathlessly, because _seriously?_ He was asking for permission? All of this was so surreal, but in the best possible way ever. 

“Yeah.” Harry coughed. “Yeah, we could do that.”

Louis pushed himself forward and reconnected Harry’s lips with his own. Harry enthusiastically returned the kiss. When Louis moved away, he was smiling brightly.

”Thank you.”

“The pleasure is all mine.” 

Louis jumped off the bed, and went over to his bag where he bend over and started searching. Harry looked at his gloriously naked body and knew that he wouldn’t be able to last much longer. When Louis returned to the bed, he was carrying a bottle of lube and a condom. He was smiling and looking so pretty, that Harry couldn’t help but to lean over and kiss him again. Louis straddled his hips, and put his hands in Harry’s hair. 

“Have you done this before?” 

“No.” 

Louis eyebrows went up. “I’m your first?”

“My first guy, yes.” 

“Oh. Guess I’ll have to go easy on you then.” 

“No need to do that.” Harry argued. 

Louis snorted. “We’ll see.” 

The first thing he did was removing Harry’s boxers, while mumbling something close to _wow, big_. Harry couldn’t really tell. Then he put a hand on Harry’s shoulder and pushed him down on the bed, where he started separating his legs. His one hand started stroking Harry’s cock lazily, while asking. “Have you ever fingered yourself?” 

“Yeah.” Harry confirmed, unable to lie. “Thinking about you every time.”

Surprised, Louis stopped his movement and stared at Harry, eyes wide. 

“Please, don’t stop.” Harry whined.

“Oh, right, sorry.” He put his hand back into action, and Harry moaned, unable to keep quiet. “Do you think you’re ready?” 

“I was born ready.”

Louis smirked and picked up the bottle of lube, and poured out a bit. He then raised Harry’s knees so that he could put his finger into Harry’s hole. Harry gasped at the touch. 

“Oh, holy shit, Louis. _Fuck_.” 

“You like that, babe?” Louis asked, as he slide the finger in a little bit deeper. 

“I love it.” 

Louis moved the finger around a bit, stretching him out, before saying. “Can I add another one?”

“ _Please_.” Harry pleaded, his eyes closed now. He knew he was coming off as desperate but that was probably only because he was. 

It wasn’t long before Harry felt another finger being added, and he cried out incoherently. “Fuck, Louis. Jesus fucking, holy god, Louis, Jesus-”

“Just Louis is fine.” Harry could hear the smirk in his remark, but he was too far gone to form a cheeky comeback. 

“Yeah, whatever, fuck.” Harry opened his eyes, and was greeted by the sight of Louis’ blue eyes staring at him, his pupils expanded. “Could you add another finger?” 

“Of course.”

It didn’t take long before Louis added a third finger, and Harry was now so overwhelmed he didn’t know what to do with himself. It was better than he ever could have ever imagined. He started breathing quickly, but was stopped by Louis’ mouth on his. He licked deep into Harry mouth and Harry was more than happy to return the favour. His fingers were still in Harry, stretching him out, as they continued on with their frantic snogging, both desperate for it. It was Harry who pulled away.

“I’m ready.” 

“You sure?” Louis asked, breathing into his mouth. 

Harry nodded determined. “One hundred percent.”

“Okay.” Louis said, as he removed his fingers. 

Harry missed the touch the second in disappeared. Louis started stroking his own dick, before putting on a condom and adding lube. He adjusted himself so that he could push himself into Harry.

“Here we go.” He said. 

“Please do.” Harry closed his eyes, preparing himself mentally. 

“I’ll be careful.”

“Please don’t.”

Louis’ low chuckle was the last thing Harry heard before he could feel himself getting fully stretched out. It felt amazing. Hurt, yes, but still amazing. They fit perfectly. 

“You’re so tight.” Louis gasped, as he slowly and carefully moved himself all the way in. 

“Yeah.” 

“Oh my god, Harry.” 

They stayed like that for a while, both breathing desperately, before Harry spoke. He opened his eyes and saw Louis looming over him, looking disturbingly striking as always. 

“Lou?”

“Yes?”

“Please move.”

Louis did as he was told as started rocking in and out of Harry gently. 

“Harder.” Harry insisted.

Louis obeyed. 

Harry felt incredibly full, and his own dick was really starting to beg for attention. He moved his hand down to it but was stopped by Louis’ hand pushing it away. 

“No, love.” He argued, although never stopping his movement. “Want you to come from just this.”

Harry whined, and pouted. In response, Louis pressed his lips against his, and took a hold on Harry’s hand and moved it to the swell of his arse, where Harry immediately took a firm hold. His other hand soon joined on the other side and he pushed Louis in even deeper.

“ _God_.” Louis wailed. “So hot around me, Harry.” 

“Fuck.”

Harry could feel himself getting closer to the edge; frankly he was surprised he had managed to last this long. 

“I’m getting close.” 

“Me too.”

Louis started rocking even harder, and that was it for Harry. He came harder than he had in his entire life, shouting as his semen sprayed on Louis’ stomach. 

“Fuck!”

Louis came shortly after, while burying his face in the crook of Harry’s neck. Harry removed the sweaty hair from his forehead and planted a kiss there. After a moment, he pulled himself out of Harry and he lay himself on top of him. They were both sweaty, and sticky, so it was quite messy. Neither one seemed to mind, though, and they lay in silence; the only sound was their heavy breaths. 

“That was unexpected.” Louis said, still slightly out of breath. 

“One could say that.” 

At the back of his mind, Harry wondered if the walls were so thin that Zayn might have heard. He hoped not. He wanted this to be private. Just him and Louis. Although, he did remind himself to thoroughly thank Zayn later for convincing him to go over. Maybe he could give him Louis’ autograph or something. 

“I’m gonna go turn the lights off.” Louis said and removed himself off Harry’s body. He went to the light switch in the corner, and Harry stayed, enjoying his view. He also made a swift stop at the bathroom, where he quickly cleaned himself up. Harry was too tired and sore to move, so he remained where he was. 

When Louis returned to the bed, it was not on top of Harry this time, but next to him. He shifted so he was facing he wall. Harry glanced at him and wondered if he was allowed to come closer. Sure, they had just had sex but Louis had behaved kind of strangely all day. What if he wanted him to leave? What if Harry was just another stupid one night stand? Harry really didn’t want to think about this right now, but he couldn’t help himself. 

“Harry?” Louis whispered, pulling him back to reality. 

“Yeah?” Harry whispered back anxiously, unable to help the uncomfortable knot in his stomach. 

“It’s cold. Could you hold me?”

A big smile formed on Harry’s face. 

He didn’t need to be told twice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'd like to dedicate a moment of thought to my friend sandy who is currently on "harry-rehab". if hope everything works out for you. 
> 
> love you all so much, bye! x


	12. Chapter 12

**Zayn’s POV:**

****

Zayn was lying on the couch situated in the corner of the cold foyer. And it was unfortunately not as comfy as it looked like despite all the multi-coloured flowers decorating it. Basically, it was too small, too sticky and too not like his bed back home. But as Zayn folded himself into a ball while burying his face in a cushion, he figured it would have to do.  


He had gone back to the hotel about half an hour ago, but when he had realised the room was empty, well, he didn’t have a hard time figuring out where Harry was. And although he was proud of Harry and his achievements, there were a few things more depressing than lying in bed alone when you knew that only a few meters away was your best friend having the sex of his life. Literally. And there you were. All alone with an unnecessary large amount of bed space. 

And now here he was; with an unnecessary little amount of couch space. Clearly the better option. Good thing one of his few skills included “able to sleep anywhere, anytime.”  


The thing was that Zayn wasn’t a bitter person. Once, when he was younger, he used to be really into Pokémon, and one of his sisters who wasn’t even a tenth as into it as he was, had managed to get all off the really good, golden cards instead of Zayn who desperately wanted them. The only Pokémon she had known about of was Pikachu for Christ’s sake. But instead of trying to convince his sister to give them to him, he had simply swallowed his sorrow and tried to appreciate her happiness instead.

But everyone had their limits. And Zayn’s limits are what had pushed him into lying cold, and lonely in the dark. Literally and figuratively. It’s funny how niceness has a way of only making you less happy. Or rather, it’s not funny at all and that’s the problem. 

But Zayn also knew that Harry’s happiness is what would make him happy too, in the end of the day. Therefore, he typed him one text message he knew Harry would appreciate before closing his eyes. 

He just wished he could be happy too when he woke up.

**Liam’s POV:**

_Just as Liam had put his sunglasses on to conceal his identity, he could feel his phone buzzing in his back pocket. He brought it to his ear._

_“Yes?”_

_“Agent 007, this is N speaking. Reveal your position.”_

_“I am currently at London, Gatwick. Give me one hour and I’ll meet you at the headquarters.”_

_“Noted. And could you repeat your mission?”_

_“Find Louis Tomlinson, and bring him back to the agency, dead or alive. Preferably alive, although I can’t make any promises.”_

_“Of course not, I know how dangerous this mission will be. After all, 007-agents have a very short life expectancy. But if anyone can do it, it is you, agent 007.”_

_“Roger that. However, as much as I appreciate the kind words, I fear must get going. I will not fail you N.”_

_“You better not, the entire future of the great empire One Direction lies in your hands.”_

_“It’s a hard job, but someone’s gotta do it.”_

_“Indeed. Good luck.”_

_Liam ended the call, because who needs luck? Luck was for losers. All he needed was his massive abs, gigantic biceps and unfaltering charm and everything would work out._

_He pushed himself through the thick crowd when he spotted just who he wanted! It was Tom from the wanted unknown mafia group named The wanted! Also known as Louis’ arch-enemy! If anyone knew where Louis was, it was him._

_“Hey, Tom!” Liam called out._

_The man in a black suit turned around, and when he saw Liam, his expression quickly turned hostile. His eyebrows furrowed and he glared darkly at Liam, who stayed put and unfaltering._

_“Who are you, and what do you want?”_

_Liam stepped closer. Tom’s clear attempts to intimidate him didn’t work._

_“I think you know who I am and what I want.”_

_Tom’s scowl deepened. “I think you’ve got it wrong. I think you don’t know who I am and what I want.”_

_Suddenly, Tom brought up a gun from his front pocket. It was a shiny, black one._

_Good thing Liam knew Kung Fu!_

_Liam rushed forward and in within the blink of an eye, he had pushed the gun away from Tom’s hand while simultaneously kicking him down with his back pressed against the floor._

_“Ouch!” He cried out. “I am defeated! You win!”_

_Liam leaned down, and spoke slowly to make his point clear._

_“My name is Payne. Liam Payne.”_

_Just as Liam was about to make the final, lethal punch, he suddenly realised something._

_He had really pretty eyes. Liam had always had a thing for brown eyes. And they were really, really close. Like, he could seriously just lean down just a little bit and do something much more fun than punching him. After all, why ruin such a pretty face? Smirking, Liam licked his lips and –_

_Oh, no-_

_The world was shaking. Earthquake! Evacuate!_

“Liam?” Niall’s voice was a distant blur, but when Liam felt another shake this time more forceful, he opened his eyes to the bright light and heard Niall exclaim one more time. “Liam!” 

When Liam slowly awoke from the dreamy haze, he looked curiously around at his surroundings. A small window to his right, a staring Niall to his left, a passenger in front of him. This could only mean one thing; he was on an airplane. He had been dreaming. Right. That would explain the Kung Fu. And the, er, kissing part because what was that? Liam was obviously out of his mind. Boobs, Leona Lewis, long legs with high heels, etc etc. 

“We’re landing.” Niall explained pointlessly, Liam could understand as much from the ache in his ears and the red seatbelts sign that was glowing red. “You’ve been sleeping for five hours.” 

Liam raised his eyebrows in shock, he wasn’t usually someone who could sleep that effortlessly anywhere. “Five hours?” 

“Yeah, five hours. Saw five episodes of Game of Thrones in the meantime. Good stuff.” Suddenly, he raised an eyebrow suggestively and looked down on Liam’s crotch and – oh, no. Fuck. Niall’s blue eyes found their way back to Liam’s face, which was now scorching red. “Seems like you had quite a good dream, too.” 

Liam twisted in his seat uncomfortably, while Niall laughed, humour shining in his eyes. “Shut up.” Liam grumbled embarrassed, and looked at the white clouds outside his window. Anything would be better than to look at than Niall’s knowing grin. 

“Now I see why you wouldn’t wake up.” 

Liam pressed his face against the window and closed his eyes. “ _Shut up._ ” He repeated, feeling even more humiliated. 

“Relax, mate.” Niall said comforting, chuckling and put a hand on Liam’s shoulder. “Happens to all of us.” 

Liam didn’t say anything in return, he was busy trying to come up with pleading death wishes in his mind. 

And couldn’t this plane just land already jesus christ. They had places to be, people to save. 

The plane did land, though, eventually. About half an hour later, the two of them found themselves in a luxurious, private cab their management had gotten for them. So now they we’re finally in London. Part one of finding (or as Liam thought of it; rescuing) Louis Tomlinson; check!

And. 

Now what?

“Where to?” The middle aged driver in front of them asked, getting the car ready to drive. 

Niall shrugged and looked wide eyed at Liam, as if he held all of the answers in the universe. 

“Well,” Liam said and scratched his neck. “Um.” 

How had they now thought about this earlier? 

The driver turned around, a questioning look on his face. 

“You can stop the engine,” Liam finally said “I think we need to consider this first.” 

Doing as he was told, the driver turned the engine off and leaned down in his chair with a heavy sigh. Liam didn’t think he liked his job very much. But then again, not everyone could have their dream job. 

“Well?” Niall asked, bringing Liam’s attention back to the real problem here. 

“Think Niall.” Liam instructed, pointing one finger at him. “If you were a Louis Tomlinson alone in London, where is the last place you would be?” 

“Ohh.” Niall furrowed his eyebrows together, and seemed to consider this thoroughly. “That’s a tough question.”

“Really think.”

“But it’s so hard.” Niall groaned. “Could be anywhere.”

“Well, just. Like, what does he like?”

“I don’t know!” Niall exclaimed. “The only thing coming to mind is carrots, but he has established a thousand times that was only a joke.”

“Plus, if we were going to search through every vegetable store in London we’d be searching for a really long time.” 

“And why would he even be hanging out in a vegetable store. Come on.” 

“I know, I know. But we need to consider every option. We already know he hasn’t checked in on any hotel that we know of.”

“Yeah, but like you said, if we were to search through every hotel in London that we don’t know of we’d be searching for a really long time.” 

“Damn it.” Liam groaned. “What should we do?”

The car was silent. 

“I don’t know.” Niall replied in a low and defeated voice. 

“Me neither.” 

Liam looked out his window and couldn’t help but to feel completely useless when he suddenly felt Niall slap his shoulder. 

“Hey, I might have an idea!” Niall said excitedly as Liam stared at him while nodding encouraging. “Doesn’t Lou know anyone in London he might crash at?” 

“I don’t know. Doesn’t everyone Lou know live in Doncaster?” 

“Must be someone.” 

Liam sighed, thinking. “Maybe…”

“Maybe, um,” Niall was also deep in thought, “maybe Ed?”

Liam stopped. Maybe Ed. Yes, of course. Ed! “Maybe Ed!” He repeated enthusiastically, and turned to look at Niall with a big smile on his face. “Niall, you are a genius!”

“Yeah, I reckon so too.” Niall winked. 

Liam rolled his eyes and picked up his phone from his bag. “I’m going to give him a call right now.” 

“Good lad.”

Liam searched through his contacts until he found the one he was looking for. He pushed the call bottom and desperately hoped he would pick up. Two beeps later, he did. 

“Hello?” Ed answered, sounding strangely suspicious, which Liam chose to ignore.

“Hi, Ed!” Liam greeted cheerfully. “Been too long, how are you?”

“I’ve been good, yeah, and you?” 

“Good, yeah. Excellent, even.” 

“Great.” 

“Yeah, great.” Liam said and then quickly added. “So, what have you been up to lately? Anything particularly exciting happened?”

Instead of an actual answer, he was met with an unexpected silence that Liam didn’t really know what it meant. Niall looked at him curiously as if to say “what’s going on; what is he saying?” which Liam replied to with a shrug. The silence was ultimately filled with a heavy and annoyed sigh on Ed’s part. 

“Really? _Really_ , Liam?” He said slowly, clearly annoyed which left Liam feeling ever more confused. He was only trying to be friendly. Or well, use him to find out the location of his missing friend, but also to be friendly. 

“Um, what do you mean?” Liam asked carefully. 

“I’m on tour! That’s what I mean.” Ed said, exasperated. “How come everyone keep forgetting that?”

Right! 

Instantly, Liam felt really bad and really stupid. Of course he was on tour, he knew that for fucks sake. He had written it down in his personal journal and everything. “Ed’s going on tour. Send him a good luck-text!” Damn it, he had even forgotten about the text. Liam was such a bad friend. He knew how important tours were, he should have remembered. 

“Shit, I am so sorry.” Liam apologised. “I totally forgot.” 

“Nahh, look, Liam, it’s fine. You have a lot going on yourself, I get that. Just, try to remember next time, yeah?” 

“Yeah, of course, mate. Honestly, I am really sorry. I had it written down and everything.” 

Ed let out a small laugh which Liam interpreted as a good sign. “Mate, it’s fine. Don’t beat yourself up about it.” 

“Okay, good.” Liam smiled, relieved. “So, where are you now?” 

“Australia.”

“ _Australia?_ ” Liam repeated in disbelief. An entirely distant continent, then he sure wasn’t in London. He looked to his left where Niall had raised his eyebrows and started pouncing Liam’s thigh with his hand fast and eagerly as if he suddenly remembered something.

“Right, right. Now I remember.” Niall whispered hurriedly. “Ed’s going on tour this week, his first stop was Australia.” 

Liam only rolled his eyes. _Obviously._

“Yeah, Australia.” Ed spoke through the phone. “So, not in London.” 

“Okay.” Liam was disappointed but he tried to remain pleasant. “Well, I hope you enjoy the surfing and don’t burn yourself.”

“Thanks, I will.”

Liam couldn’t help the sigh that escaped his lips before he suddenly realised something. 

“Wait a minute.” He said slowly. “Why would you add that last part?”

“What last part?” Ed asked. 

“The “so not in London” part. I mean, I never said anything about London, so why did you say that?” 

Liam really should be promoted to a top agent, he clearly had the brains for it. He could totally picture it:

Liam Payne; superstar by day, secret agent by night. It could be like Hannah Montana 2.0; the cooler edition. 

Okay, this is really getting over his head. Back to Ed.

“I don’t know, I just figured that’s what you wanted to know.” 

“But why would you figure that, though? Has someone else asked you recently if you were in London?”

Silence. Liam continued, taking a wild shot. 

“That someone else being Louis?”

Silence again. This time, Liam remained quiet as well and waited for Ed to spill something. 

“Okay, yeah, fine, maybe he has.” He finally admitted. 

Out of pure excitement, Liam hit Niall on top of his head. He heard him mutter an “ow” and started patting the sore spot. Normally, Liam would have felt bad but now he had more important things feel. 

“Really? What did he say?” Liam practically shouted. “And what did you say?” 

“I don’t know about this Liam, I promised I wouldn’t say.” Ed said, sounding genuinely torn. 

“But you can tell me, Ed.” Liam tried. “Louis would have wanted you to.” 

“Well, nah, not really. He specifically told me not to tell you.” 

Well. Fuck. 

“But Louis is Louis. He doesn’t mean anything he says. If he tells you not to tell us, he means tell us.” 

Ed made a considering sound. “Nahh, Louis is weird and cryptic. But he is not _that_ weird and cryptic. If he tells me not to tell you, I think he meant not to tell you.” 

That actually made sense and Liam didn’t appreciate that. He made another shot, this time using a different strategy. “Yeah, I know, but.” He took a deep breath. “Look, Ed, I’m really worried about him. And so am Niall. And like, we have absolutely no idea where he is. And if you know anything about where he might be, anything at all, we would appreciate it so incredibly much. Because otherwise we would just have to go looking for him without any clue whatsoever and it would take ages. And god knows when he’ll answer our texts and show up by himself.” 

Ed still didn’t say anything so Liam continued. He usually wasn’t one to beg, but sometimes there was no other option. “Please, Ed? I’m begging you. Please. I’d do anything.”  


He could feel Niall sitting stiffly at his side, waiting for an answer just as anxiously as he was. Finally, he could hear Ed release a defeated sigh. 

“Fine. What do you want to know?”

xx

Liam couldn’t help but to snort when they finally arrived at the hotel Ed had given them the address to, because _really?_ Typically Louis to find the most desert place in the entire London. 

“Here we are.” The driver announced. 

Niall stared through the window. “Cosy.” 

“Indeed.” Liam agreed.

“So, would you like me to wait outside for you?” The driver asked. 

“Nah, I reckon we’ll be here for a while.” Niall said. “We’ll give you a call when we need you.” 

“Sure thing. Good luck with everything boys.” 

Liam and Niall said their “thank you”s and exited the cab and walked to the small, hidden hotel where Liam opened the door and the two of them stepped in. It was a bit past noon and the reception was completely empty. 

“Hello?” Liam called out into the empty room. “Anyone here?”

No one answered.

“Hello?” Niall echoed but in vain. They were still only met with silence. 

Liam walked forward to the desk and rested his head against it. Fuck. No one’s here to talk to. Just their luck. Well, he figured they’d just have to wait here then until Louis walked down or something and then –

“Hey, Liam!” Niall suddenly called out, causing Liam to look up from the wooden desk. Niall gestured his head to the right, where there was some furniture positioned. “There’s someone lying on the couch over there.” 

“Oh.”

Liam quietly made his way over, where sure enough, a brown haired boy about their age laid asleep, completely dead to the world. His face was squeezed into the back of the couch, and the couch wasn’t exactly big, so Liam wondered how comfortable it was to the lad. But he figured it was alright, since he hadn’t even woken up when he and Niall had shouted earlier. 

“He’s asleep.” He whispered quietly to Niall, not wanting to wake the sleeping boy up. 

Niall went to his side and looked down at the oblivious, sleeping boy. “Do you think we should wake him up?” 

“Well, what would we say to him? I don’t want to wake him up for nothing.” 

“I don’t know, but he might know something about where Louis is. Worth a shot.” 

Liam still wasn’t entirely convinced. “I don’t know.”

“I mean, it’s our only option. Besides, it’s past 1 pm, about bloody time he woke up. He can’t stay on this couch the whole day, he’d hurt his back.”

Well. You can’t argue with that. 

“Fine.”

Carefully, Liam leaned down and put a hand on the sleeping boy’s shoulder and started rubbing it gently. 

“Hey, you. Wake up.” He whispered softly, but the boy only made a grumping sound and moved a bit further into the couch. That’s not how this was supposed to go. Liam tried again. “Hey, wake up. No more sleeping for you.” 

He shook his shoulder slightly more forcefully, but still no reaction. He looked up at Niall questioning.

“Try again.” Niall said simply. 

“You, wake up!” He instructed the sleeping boy, but still nothing. “Come on.”

“Wow, he’s harder to wake up than you were.” Niall smugly said. “He must be having a really good dream.” 

“Hey!” Liam looked up at Niall exasperated, his eyebrows furrowed together. “Show some respect.” 

Niall raised his hands. “Sorry, sorry.”

Liam sighed and returned his attention to the boy. “Come on, wake up. Don’t make me throw a bucket of water on you.” 

“Oh, I know!” Niall said suddenly, and leaned down next to Liam’s right and put a hand under the boy’s shirt and pinched. And to Niall’s great pleasure, the boy squeaked loudly and flinched in the couch. Liam, too, smiled satisfied. Finally.

The boy moved in his seat and turned so his head was facing them where he completely froze. Like, literally, froze. It looked like he was about to rub his eyes but then his arm just fell down and stayed down. It didn’t even look like he was breathing. His eyes were fixated on Liam though, and he didn’t seem to be blinking either.

But then again, Liam figured it might be a bit creepy to be woken up by two random blokes pinching your stomach, so fair enough. 

“Hi.” Liam offered a bright smile, which the boy did not return. “Really sorry to wake you up like this but we wanted to ask you something.” 

The boy still didn’t say anything; he didn’t even nod. 

“Besides, it’s like one pm and it’s about time you got up.” Niall added. 

The boy turned his head slightly so he stared at Niall instead. He then swallowed thickly, and his eyes turned big as if he was scared or something. It might have been the cutest thing Liam had ever seen. His eyes suddenly flinched between Liam and Niall, as if he was searching for an answer to a question unasked. 

Liam sat patiently and waited to the boy to say something. And besides, it’s not like he minded looking at the boy, because holy shit, he was hot. And, wait, no. That wasn’t even an appropriate adjective. He was more breathtakingly beautiful; in an exotic and interesting way. Like, watching him was like looking at a really well painted picture, the perfect angles matched with the deep brown colours of his eyes and hair. His hair was quite wild after the rough sleep, but it looked so good on him, in a hipster sort of way, that Liam kind of thought it was deliberate. Which it probably wasn’t. 

Still, though, he looked so cute and clueless as he laid there, seeming not have a faintest idea of what was going on. Liam just wanted to give him a hug and say “it’s okay, it’s okay.”

And okay, wow. That was a weird thought. Time to speak. 

“So. You’ll forgive us disturbing your sleep, then?”

The boy stared at him and then gave a short nod. Good. So, at least he knew English then. 

“That’s nice. I’m Liam by the way, and that’s Niall.” 

The boy looked back and forward between them before giving them one more nod but still not speaking. Which, okay, no introduction on his part then. Not like Liam was deliberately aiming to get his name or anything anyway. 

“Well, um.” Liam said, scratching his neck. “This might seem a bit random but you don’t happen to know who Louis Tomlinson is?”

The boy took a deep breath and coughed a bit, before speaking for the first time, in a small voice. “Yeah?”

“You do?” Niall yelled excitedly which made the boy jump slightly. “Oh, man, that’s so great! That’s really, really great. Because we are looking for him and our friend told us he’d be here.” 

Niall and Liam looked at him expectantly, urging him to say something in response to that but all that came out was a choked; “Okay.” 

“So, um, have you seen him?” Liam asked patiently. _Say yes, say yes, say yes_. 

“Uh,” the boy looked down at the floor before looking up at Liam carefully, “yes?” 

Score!

Liam really was good at this detective thing.

“So he really is here then? Oh, that’s so awesome!” 

“Yeah, it really is,” Niall agreed, “and thanks for the help, by the way.”

“Yeah, yeah, thank you so much, honestly, really appreciate it.” 

The boy spoke tentatively. “It’s fine?”

“Okay, good.” Liam took a deep breath. “Wild guess, but you don’t happen to know which room he’s staying at?”

“Uh,” the boy looked very hesitant, like there was more to this question than Liam and Niall were aware of. He looked down at the floor.

_Please, please, please say yes._

The boy a deep breath and looked up at Liam, seeming to have made up his mind. 

“Yes?”

xx

 **Louis’ POV:**

When Louis woke up realising he was lying naked, with an equally as naked boy behind him with an arm draped around his stomach, pulling him close while breathing into his neck, he first freaked out a bit. Not excessively, not enough to actually move, just a tiny bit to make him stop to question how he had actually gotten in this position in the first place. 

Okay, right, so he had just been lying in bed watching a rerun of Friends when Harry had dropped by totally unexpected. (Okay, admittedly, it hadn’t even been that unexpected. Louis had acted a bit more surprised than he had actually been.) And at first things had been awkward because Louis had been trying unnecessarily hard to get the message _I am straight, I am not attracted to you, I do not want to have sex with, I do not want you here_ across. Which, obviously, was not true at all, but at least it had left Harry adorably confused. Then they had started talking about mobile games, Louis had a freak out as usual, and one thing led to another and they ended up having the hottest sex Louis had ever had in his entire life. Well. 

Normally, Louis would have freaked out a lot by now, but there was just something about Harry that just seemed, genuine? Like, Louis remembered when he had told Harry he was permitted to leave and he had practically begged to stay. Which, okay, Louis had absolutely no idea what to make out of that, or any of this, but ultimately, he liked it. He liked the attention. He liked having someone listening to him as attentively that Harry did. He liked waking up with someone cuddling him. It was nice, and everyone deserved a little bit of niceness in their lives every now and then. And that’s why he had decided to close his eyes and just let himself enjoy it. 

Which he did. And when Harry made a grumbling sound and pulled him in closer, clearly still very asleep, he had only smiled and let himself be held. 

Louis didn’t know how long he had been awake when he started wondering what time it was. The sun was peering through the window, making the room bright and clear, so he figured it was quite late. They must have slept for quite long. Which made sense, Louis didn’t think he’d slept this comfortably for a really long time. But without further ado, he moved slightly in Harry’s tight grip and smirked when he heard Harry making a quiet, whining sound at the loss, and started searching the ground for his phone when he remembered that it was lying on the drawer on the opposite side of the room. Damn it. He wanted to know what time it was, but he didn’t actually want to physically move. He moved his head slightly so he could see Harry’s trousers lying underneath him, and he figured his phone must have a clock too. His hand reached into Harry’s pocket and pulled it out. It wasn’t locked, you only had to sweep your thumb over it and the screen shined. And, _wow._

Well, well, well. If it wasn’t a picture of himself singing in black and white. How lovely. Louis didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry. He settled on smiling. 

He then noticed another intriguing thing; a text from Zayn. Now, Louis wasn’t of the suspicious sort (yes he was), and if Harry told them they were only friends, he believed him. But then again, Zayn was disturbingly good looking, and it was a bit unsettling knowing that they were sharing a room. So, Louis did what everyone else would have done; he read the text. 

From: Zayn

_Can see youre not back at the room, looks like everything worked out then. Told you! Youll have to tell me everything tomorrow aha :) x_

Louis reread the text a couple of times, before deciding it was actually pretty sweet and harmless enough, and closed it down and was faced with the wallpaper of him singing again. He wondered which song he was singing, he looked really into it. Must have been one of the emotional ones. He then checked the time; 1:12. Which, true enough, was pretty late. But whatever, not like he had Liam here to tell him off or anything. Plus, he figured, as he put the phone back into Harry’s trousers and snuggled back into Harry’s embrace and heard him make a content sound, he wouldn’t mind lying here all day. It felt right. For some reason, it just felt right.

He closed his eyes, smiling, and could feel himself drifting back to sleep when he was rudely interrupted by a harsh knock on the door. He immediately stiffened in surprise, and he could tell it had woken Harry up too. 

“Huh?” Harry drawled, not seeming to have fully exited the seeping mode. 

Louis furrowed his eyebrows together and didn’t say anything back. Harry was still pressed tightly against him. 

The knocking returned, this time even more forceful, and continued for a while. 

Annoyed now, Louis switched so he wasn’t lying down anymore, but rested his weigh against his elbows. Even Harry seemed alert now. 

“What?” Louis called out, not bothering to leave the bed and open the door. Probably only room service anyway. Frankly, Louis was surprised they even had that. 

“Louis?” He heard a way too familiar voice call back. And, no, no, no, this was not happening. This was not fucking happening. “It’s Liam and Niall.” 

Louis immediately straightened himself up, and pushed Harry’s arm off him. Even he seemed to be in chock as he stared at Louis questioning. 

_Fuck no, holy piece of nononono, this no, why. They were supposed to be in fucking New York. How the fuck did they find him anyway._

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Louis whispered hurriedly under his breath. They were not supposed to be here, fuck fuck fuck. 

Harry sat himself up too and laid a hand on Louis’ shoulder.

“Are you okay?” He asked in a concerned voice, his big, green eyes focused on Louis and looked so genuinely worried, but all that Louis could think was _you’re naked, I’m naked, we’re both naked._

Louis didn’t answer but stared at the door in horror as he started to sweat uncontrollably. 

“Louis?” Liam repeated and knocked again. “Could you open the door, please?”

“Uh,” Louis was freaking out, he was freaking out so much. He jumped off the bed and started pacing back and forward. “Yeah, yeah, just wait one second.”

Louis swallowed thickly, and turned to face Harry who was staring at him, probably wondering what he was supposed to be doing. 

“That’s Liam and Niall, they’re-“ Louis whispered but was cut off. 

“I know who Liam and Niall are.” 

Right. Of course he did. 

“Anyway, they don’t know, um.” Louis started waving his hands back and forward between him and Harry hysterically, as if to get his point across. 

Harry furrowed his eyebrows, and whispered carefully. “They don’t know that you’re gay?” 

Louis stopped moving. “Right.” 

“Um, so.” Harry looked down at his gloriously naked body, before looking up at Louis expectantly. “What are you going to do?”

There was another knock on the door, and this time it was Niall calling, sounding impatient. “Louis?”

“Fuck.” Louis hissed under his breath, before yelling back. “One second, okay?”

He then looked back at Harry and had made up his mind. He was simply just not going to do anything. 

“You,” he instructed, pointing at Harry who nodded in response “get under the bed.” 

Harry’s eyebrows went up. “What?” 

“Under the bed. _Now._ ” He instructed hurriedly, while quickly running to put on a pair of pants and a t-shirt. 

“But I’m naked.” Harry whined. 

“No time for that.” Louis sprung over to the door and put a hand on the handle. He looked back at Harry who stared at him exasperated. This probably wasn’t the way he thought he’d wake up. 

Louis pointed at the spot under the bed with a demanding look on his face, and Harry finally obliged; rolling his eyes and muttering. “Fine.”

When he was safely hidden under the bed, Louis whispered. “And stay quiet, don’t say anything.” 

“Don’t worry, I’ll just lay here pretending that I don’t exist.” Harry whispered back from under the bed. 

“Good lad.” 

After taking one last breath, Louis unlocked the door and sure enough, on the other side stood Liam and Niall. And, wait a minute. Louis moved slightly when he recognised that dark, brown hair. Was that Zayn? What the hell was he doing here? Furrowing his eyebrows together, Louis examined him and he looked mildly terrified. He was, however, interrupted in his staring by a weigh crushing into him. 

It was Liam. Giving him a very tight hug. 

“Louis. We found you.” 

Louis couldn’t help but to smile, and started patting him on the back. “Yeah. Apparently.”

He could feel the hug tighten, this time by Niall joining in, pulling his arms close around Louis. 

“We were worried about you, you little shit.” Niall said but buried his head on Louis’ back. “You can’t just take of like that, you idiot.” 

“Yeah.” Louis chuckled self-consciously. “Sorry about that, my bad.” 

“Yeah, fuck you.” Niall said, but he remained his tight grip. “We had to cancel interviews.” 

Louis took a deep breath, and closed his eyes. “Now I feel really bad.”

“Aww, don’t Louis.” Niall cooed, like he immediately regretted what he had said. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it. Just don’t do it again.” 

“But you seemed so angry yesterday, though. On the phone.” Louis said. 

Niall hugged tighter. “That was only because I was worried, you know that. If I would have taken off, you would have been upset too, right?”

“We were just really worried.” Liam agreed.

“Well, thank you mum and dad for the concern,” Louis smirked and could feel Niall hit his head and laughed a bit, “but I’m fine. No need to worry.” 

And even though Louis might have sounded like a sarcastic asshole, his heart was really swelling up. Sometimes, he forgot just how amazing his friends were and how much he took them for granted. He reminded himself to never do that ever again. And even though it was pretty damn wonderful to be held tight by Harry earlier, being held by your two closest friends was pretty neat as well. 

“Okay, Louis. If you say so.” Liam said, but still didn’t removed his grip. 

The three of them stood like that for a while in silence, just Niall and Liam grasping on to Louis like they were afraid he’d disappear again. It was only when Louis moved his head and saw Zayn standing there, unsure what to do with himself, that he coughed and the two other seemed to be brought back to life and backed off. 

“Right.” Liam coughed. “Um, like we said, it’s good to see you.” 

“It’s good to see you too.” Louis replied politely. 

“But I do feel like we should talk about this though.” Liam stopped and looked Louis deep in the eyes, his cheerful expression gone serious. “Thoroughly.” 

And there was sensible Liam back, just like Louis had feared. Louis swallowed thickly, this was just exactly he did not want to do. Talk, _yuck_. Couldn’t they just leave, so he could get back to Harry? Much better.

But then again, he would have to give them an explanation sooner or later. He owned them that much. Besides, he was a decent actor, he could probably come up with a good lie. 

“Yeah, I guess.” Louis said bashful, looking down at the floor. “Would you like to come in then?” 

Liam nodded, and just as he and Niall were about to step in, they were interrupted by Zayn, who decided to speak for the first time. 

“Wait.” All three of them looked at Zayn in surprise. Zayn looked at Louis and made a head gesture towards the room. It seemed to be taking him a lot of courage to speak. “Are you alone in there?” 

Louis wanted to punch himself in the face. Because, _fuck._ The text. Zayn obviously knew Harry was in there. 

“ _Yes._ ” Louis looked at Zayn pointedly, unblinking, hoping he’d get the message. 

“Wait,” Niall’s gaze flickered between Louis and Zayn, suspiciously, “who else would be there?”

“Uh,” Zayn shrugged, and his cheeks went read, “I don’t know?”

“Yeah, me neither.” Louis agreed immediately. “No one. Because no one is in there.”

Niall squinted. “Right.”

“Well, now that that’s settled.” Liam clasped his hands together. “Shall we?” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Louis stepped aside and let Niall and Liam enter. Zayn remained where he was, looking extremely unsure what to do with himself and his body. Louis chuckled and asked in an amused voice. “Would you like to come in as well?” 

“Um, I don’t want to, like, be in the way.” He said sheepishly. 

“Pfft,” Louis waved his hand dismissively, “it’s fine. You can join too.” 

Harry will tell you everything later anyway, Louis wanted to say, but restrained himself. 

“Um, alright.” Zayn agreed but still appeared very hesitant, and walked forward extremely slowly, like he was still considering walking away. 

“Oh, come on.” Louis rolled his eyes impatiently and took a hold on his arm and dragged him in so he could close the door. 

When the door was properly closed, Louis turned around and saw Niall and Liam walking around the room. There were still clothes lying splattered all over the floor, Louis realised, Harry’s included. He hoped they wouldn’t notice. 

Liam sighed and turned around with his hands on his hips, a disappointed look on his face. “This room sure is messy, Louis.” 

“Yeah, it’s ridiculous.” Niall agreed, chuckling, now looking at Louis too. “You’ve been here, what? One day? Less?”

Louis sighed exasperatedly. “Well, excuse me. Incredibly sorry, really.” He looked at Zayn and bumped an arm gently into his side. “You’re on my side, yeah?” 

Zayn looked terribly confused and shrugged. “Sure?”

“See?” Louis smiled brightly and put his hands on his hips. “He is on my side.” 

Liam rolled his eyes and pointed a finger at Zayn. “Hey, you. Don’t agree with anything Louis says in the future, alright? He gets too cocky about it.” 

“Uh,” Zayn’s eyes flickered between Liam and Louis, before shrugging again, still looking very confused. “Sure?”

“Good.” Liam deadpanned. 

“One thing, though.” Niall said, looking at Zayn, his eyebrows furrowed together. “Why are you here?”

“Hey!” Liam exclaimed, looking at Niall horrified. “What did I say about the being rude part?” 

“Sorry, sorry.” Niall’s hands flew up. “Just wondering.” 

“He’s here because I invited him in, alright?” Louis answered impatiently. “Now, I do believe we had more important things to discuss.”

“Right.” Liam said, as he and Niall sat down on the bed simultaneously, more synchronized than their choreography ever was. Louis remained standing with Zayn leaning against the wall next to him. “So, why did you take off? And don’t just say nothing, because nothing doesn’t make you fly to a different continent just like that.” 

Louis took a deep breath. Here we go. 

“Well. We had a fight if you remember?” He started. 

“Still, though. It wasn’t a big fight.” Niall said. “It was just you not wanting to get a drink. I don’t know if I would call it a fight at all.” 

“It was a fight, Niall.” Louis disagreed. “But, yeah, I don’t know, I just had a lot of stuff on my mind I guess and just wanted to get away.” 

Both Liam and Niall stared at him carefully. 

“What kind of stuff?” Liam finally asked, in a gentle voice. 

“I don’t know,” Louis groaned and looked away. 

_Me being gay._

_Me hiding being gay._

_Me not supposing to be gay._

_Me missing my family._

_Me not handling missing my family._

_Me not handling being famous._

_Me not handling being myself._

_Me not handling anything._

“Just. Stuff.” Louis mumbled. 

“Look, Louis.” The world seemed to have stopped when Liam spoke in such a gentle voice, while the knot in Louis’ stomach was still painfully present. “We’re never going to get to the bottom of this if you don’t tell us what’s wrong.” 

Louis nodded. He knew Liam was right, of course. Liam usually was. “Yeah, I know, but.” He took a deep breath. “But.”

“But what?” Liam pushed, sounding so soft and kind, and Louis wanted to cry because he was so sweet and he only wanted what was best for Louis but. 

But he couldn’t say it 

He just couldn’t physically say it. 

Louis looked at Liam pleadingly when it suddenly happened. A sneeze came out of nowhere. 

Louis froze. Fuck. He had told Harry to be quiet, meaning don’t sneeze. 

Niall looked around the room curiously. “What was that? Where did that come from?”

Louis panicked. “Oh, that was just Zayn!” He chuckled, sounding slightly maniac. 

“Who’s Zayn?” Liam asked confused. 

“Uh,” Louis turned to look at the brown haired boy next to him who looked very puzzled, “that’s Zayn.” 

“Oh, so that’s your name!” Liam called out, like it was some big discovery. 

“Wait, do you know each other?” Niall asked confused.

“And wait, Zayn didn’t sneeze.” Liam interrupted before Louis could answer. “I would have seen if Zayn sneezed.”

“Zayn,” Niall said, looking directly at him, almost accusingly, “did you sneeze?” 

Zayn looked as uncertain as always. “Uh,” 

“Sure you did!” Louis practically shouted and putted a hand on his shoulder. “Didn’t you?” 

“Well, I -”

“Remember what I said about not agreeing with anything Louis says, Zayn?” Liam quickly added, looking stern. “Going to ask one more time; did you sneeze or not?” 

Zayn swallowed thickly, and if Louis wasn’t panicking himself, he would have felt bad for him. Because he obviously didn’t sneeze. He looked from Louis to Liam, and back at Louis, with a perplexed look on his face. “Um, well, like, maybe, like, sort of, but not really, like a-“

“Well, he obviously didn’t sneeze.” Niall cut him off. “If he did, he only would have said yes.”

Liam furrowed his eyebrows together and looked at Louis accusingly. “Stop playing mind games with him, Louis!”

“ _What!_ ” Louis cried out. 

“You heard me.” 

“Back to the subject,” Niall said, interrupting Louis and Liam’s fight, “if Zayn didn’t sneeze, then who did?” 

The four of them looked back and forward between each other in silence, before Louis finally spoke. 

“Um. Thin walls?” 

He gave them a hopeful smile, but Liam and Niall only squinted in response, not quite sold. 

And then, it happened again. Another sneeze. 

Niall instantly rose to his feet. “That was most definitely in this room!” 

Louis groaned. He was so fucked. “Okay, fine!” He called out, and made whining sound. “It’s over, you can come out now.” 

Niall, Liam and Zayn were completely still and waited for someone to appear. And sure enough, there was a moving sound coming from underneath the bed and seconds later, Harry popped his head out from under the bed. Louis wanted to die. Niall and Liam stared at him in disbelief, whereas Zayn looked for the first time slightly amused with a small smile on his lips. Good. Louis was glad not everyone wanted to disappear under face of the earth. 

“Hi!” Harry greeted cheerfully, his smile almost blinding. “I’m Harry.” 

No one said anything in return. Everyone were too chocked, Louis imagined. 

“Um,” Harry looked away from Liam and Niall’s confused faces and onto Louis’ which was now scorching red. “Sorry about sneezing, Louis, it’s just really dusty down here.”  


Louis wanted to punch himself in the face. Here he was, forcing Harry to lay under the bed in silence, giving him no choice what so ever, and he ended up apologising to Louis for sneezing, because it was so dusty. 

Seriously, who even was this kid? Where did he come from? 

“Why don’t you get up then?” Liam asked, sounding concerned. 

“Well, I would, but I’m naked so I figured it’d be a bit awkward.” Harry answered, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

Louis really wanted to die. 

And naturally, Liam sighed, and once again looked at Louis with that disapproving look. 

“Louis? Are you the one responsible for Harry lying naked under the bed?”

“Well,” Louis cried out desperately, “it’s not my fault! You’re the one who came knocking on the door all urgently, being all like, ugh, Louis open up right now before we push the door in and call the police, and like, do it right now you don’t even have two seconds to get ready, blablabla.” 

Niall stared at him incredulous. “I’m pretty sure we didn’t say that.” 

“Whatever.” 

“Point is, Harry needs to put some clothes on.” Liam said. “So, everyone look away while Harry gets out from under the bed.”

“Yeah, everyone do that.” Louis agreed, and hurried his way over to the other side of the bed where Harry’s clothes were lying. He got them and went back to Harry. “Sorry about everything.” 

“It’s fine.” Harry said as he crawled out. Louis turned around to make sure no one was watching, which they thankfully weren’t. When Harry was completely out, he grabbed the clothes from Louis’ hands and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before whispering, “Thanks, babe.”

Louis watched him as he rushed his way over to the bathroom stark naked, where he presumably would change. It felt like his cheek was on fire.

When he had closed the door, Louis said, “You can open your eyes now.” 

“Right.” Liam said, and Louis wondered how many times he’d started a sentence like that now. “So that was a bit unexpected.”

“Yeah,” Niall agreed, “are you two like secretly dating or something?” 

“What, no!” Louis exclaimed. “Jesus Christ, I met him yesterday.” 

“Oh, right. Nah, I just figured, maybe you were like missing each other so much you just had to fly over suddenly, or something.” 

“Um, no. Not really.” 

“Okay. Just wondering.”

“Okay.”

Niall sat down on the bed next to Liam. There was a thick silence in the room, and Louis looked back and forward between Liam and Niall, waiting for them to freak out, or anything really. Just say something at least. Didn't matter what. Sometimes, silence was worse than yelling.

“Um, aren’t you guys, like, going to say something?” Louis asked carefully. 

Liam shrugged. “Not really sure what to say, to be honest.” 

“Nah, Louis is right.” Niall stood up. “Personally, I’m into boobs, but I’m not ashamed to admit that that guy was pretty fit.”

“Harry, you mean.”

“Yeah. So, I do believe one fist bump is in order.” 

And just like that, Niall had his fist out for Louis to bump. Disbelieving, Louis stared down at it for a second before finally giving it a slight knock, while letting out a weak, “Yay.”

Smiling, Niall removed his fist and now patted Louis on the shoulder. “Proud of you, mate.” 

Niall sat down on the bed again and Louis could not believe what was happening. Or rather, not happening.

“Wait. That’s it? You’re not like mad or anything?”

Liam furrowed his eyebrows together. “Why would we be mad?” 

“Because I’ve sort of been keeping a really big secret from you guys, and I don’t know, I, you know. “ 

“Well, I just feel like, that’s you decision, though.” Liam said carefully. “Like, who you want to tell and when. Not really like you owe anyone an explanation. Not even us.” 

“Besides,” Niall added, “I don’t think anyone’s that surprised. I mean, do you remember that time you were really into that girl and you were, like, going out and stuff and you just wouldn’t shut up about it?” 

What?

“No.”

Niall chuckled. “Yeah, me neither.”

 _Oh._

“Right.”

“I just want to get one thing straight though.” Liam said. “Is this what has been occupying your thoughts lately? Like, being gay is what has gotten you all worked up and stuff?”

Well. It was definitely a big part of it. A very big part of it. But it wasn’t everything. However, it was enough for now. 

“Yeah, pretty much.” Louis said sheepish. “I just don’t want to, like, ruin the bands character and reputation, or anything. Like, if it’d gotten out, it would be really bad.” 

“ _Louis!_ ” Liam cried out, sounding absolutely horrified. “I don’t want you to ever think like that ever again! Seriously, if this is honestly making you this distressed, I want you to simply drop it. Because really, the bands reputation and character or whatever you said, is nothing compared to your happiness and wellbeing, and if that would have been ruined then _that_ would have been really bad.”

Louis was truly in shock. He had no idea what he had done in his past lives to deserve friends like this. It must have been something really good, because this was absurd. 

“I agree with Liam.” Niall said sincerely, and if Louis was fighting tears at this point, it was nobody’s business but his own. “We have no direction without you.” Louis smiled, and Niall looked at him expectantly. “See what I did there?”

Louis rolled his eyes fondly. “Yeah, I see what you did there.”

“And one more thing. Even if it would have gotten out, I don’t think it would have been that bad. Everyone knows I’m the chick magnet anyway.” Niall winked. 

Louis snorted. “Sure you are.” 

And that’s when Louis heard the bathroom door being unlocked, and out comes Harry, this time dressed in yesterday’s clothes. 

“Hi.” He said, somewhat awkwardly. Louis wondered if he’d been listening to their conversation. 

“Hi.” Louis replied. 

They locked eyes for one short second.

“I’m really sorry I didn’t introduce myself earlier.” Liam said and rose to his feet, and handed his hand out for Harry to shake. “I’m Liam.”

“He already knows.” Louis said as Harry shook Liam’s hand eagerly, with a big, happy smile on his face as if this was the best thing that had ever happened to him. “He and Zayn are going to our show this Friday.” 

“Oh, really?” Liam looked absolutely thrilled by this fact. Stupid Liam and his stupid fans obsession. “You’re fans?”

“Yeah, yeah, you could say that.” Harry said, happy as always. “Right, Zayn?” 

Oh, right, Zayn. Louis had almost forgotten he was there. 

The three of looked expectantly at him, and he let out a short, “Yup.” 

“Cool.” Liam nodded enthusiastically and approvingly. 

Niall joined the other four boys. “And I’m Niall, but I guess you knew that too, then.” He laughed out loud at that, for some reason unfathomable to Louis. Stupid Niall and his stupid ability to find absolutely everything funny. “And I’ve texted our driver, he should be here any minute.” 

“Alright.” Liam said and turned to look at Louis. “So, are you coming with us or are you staying here?”

Louis looked at Harry who gave him a small and hopeful smile. “Well, I guess I could stay a bit longer.”

The smile on Harry’s face assured him that he had said the right thing.

“Well, alright. You are both young and single, so enjoy yourselves.” 

“Zayn is also young and single.” Harry suddenly said, surprisingly. “Right, Zayn?” 

Zayn’s cheeks were now flaming red. He gave Harry a murderous look, before letting out another short, “Yup.”

“Cool.” Liam nodded approvingly. 

“Hey, we were probably going to the studio and check out some things now that we’re here so early.” Niall said to Zayn. “Would you like to tag along? I feel like these two won’t be so good company, to be honest.”

“Yeah, that’s a great idea!” Liam said enthusiastically. “You should totally come!”

Zayn gave Harry a questioning look, but he only mouthed “do it” in response. 

“Alright.” He finally agreed with a shrug. His cheeks were still unnaturally red.

“Great.” Said Niall. “Now, let’s leave and give these two some privacy.”

“Don’t forget to use protection.” Liam added.

Louis covered his face in his hands, and muttered, “Jesus Christ.”

The three of them soon exited the room, Niall and Liam repeating “Bye!” and “Stay in touch.” and Zayn looking confused. 

When the door was closed, and it was finally only Louis and Harry again, Louis let out a heavy, but relieved sigh. 

“Well, that could have gone worse.” 

“Yeah, it definitely could have.” Harry walked forward and crowded Louis’ space, putting his hands on his waist and whispered into his ear. “Things could have gone real awkward.” 

Harry’s hands slid down towards his bare legs and Louis took this opportunity to push him away, giggling. 

“Get off me!” he mocked gasped in offence. Harry backed off smirking. 

“Where are you going?” He asked as he followed behind Louis who was walking towards the drawer. 

“Getting my phone.” Louis said as he started typing something in. Harry stood closely right next to him. “If you think I’m going to stay in this horrendous hotel one minute longer you are very much mistaken.”

“Even with my wonderful company?”

“Even with your wonderful company.”

“I think it has its charm.” 

“Well, I don’t.” Louis stated as he put his phone back on the drawer. “So, now, there will be a driver taking us away from here in ten minutes. The perks of being a superstar.”  


Harry raised his eyebrows, impressed. “Wow.” 

“So, you should go get your stuff so you’re ready to go when he gets here.” Louis pointed towards the door, but Harry only looked down at the floor. 

“Think you’re the one who’ll be taking ages getting ready.” He mumbled matter of factly. 

“Well, stop distracting me then so I can get to it!” Louis sighed exasperated, pushing him away, but he only stepped right back directly after. 

“I wouldn’t mind distracting you for a while longer.” 

Harry put his hands on Louis’ waist and dragged him closer, putting his mouth again Louis’ neck and started working one a bruise. Giggling, Louis pushed him away again.

“You’ve got a dirty mouth, Mr Styles.” 

Harry bit his lower lip and smiled brightly down at Louis, like this was the best thing anyone had ever said to him.

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

Louis brought his hand into the back of Harry’s hair and pulled him down so they were facing each other close up, their lips barely touching. Wasting no time, Louis smiled smugly before closing the gap altogether and kissed him like he meant it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading. cute as a button, every single one of you! :)


	13. Chapter 13

”I feel like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.”

Louis turned around and snorted disbelieving.

“Did you just refer to yourself as a prostitute?”

Well, that’s not really what Harry meant.

What Harry meant was that he was walking into a huge hotel, far more glamorous and deluxe than anything he had ever seen before and it was pretty overwhelming. _Very_ overwhelming, one could say.

He even had a guy in a suit carrying his bags for crying out loud!

Which, you know, probably wasn’t as impressive as the stone lions decorating the building, or the expensive cars lined up along the car park. Still, though!

But, Harry could play this game. He winked at Louis.

“For you, I could be anything you want.”

Louis let out a loud and short laugh, before muttering to himself, “Oh god.”

Smirking, Harry skipped happily along after Louis as he made his way over to the massive entrance. Once they were inside, Louis turned to face Harry again.

“Just to be clear though, I don’t want you to be a prostitute.”

“Too cheap?”

“You got me. Gotta keep my precious money perfectly intact.” Louis turned to one of the men carrying their bags. “When we’re checked in, could you be an angel and order in the oldest, most expensive bottle of whisky?”

“Of course, Mr Tomlinson,” one of the men immediately replied. His voice was very monotone and his expression emotionless. Almost like a robot.

“Thank you,” Louis smiled in appreciation.

The two men with their bags walked away, Harry didn’t know where, while the two boys stayed put. Harry could only stare at Louis, the urge to roll his eyes almost being unbearable. He’d bet he didn’t even like whisky.

“Now you’re just bragging.”

Louis feigned shock. “What are you talking about? Imma have you know that I only drink the most exclusive liquor, nothing else is good enough. It’s called having class.”

This time, Harry couldn’t help himself. He rolled his eyes. “It’s called being a diva.”

“Excuse you!” Louis cried out, and hit Harry lightly on the chest. Harry chuckled. “Besides, while we’re on the subject, I’d bet you’d be a really expensive prostitute. You know, with the hair and everything.”

Harry nodded seriously. “A pound per curl. That would be my business motto.”

Louis laughed out loud. “What a terrific motto. Would love to see that on, like, a business card.”

“Don’t think prostitutes normally carry around business cards but.” Harry said, and quickly added. “I mean, not that I would know!”

Louis smirked. “I’d bet you would do that, though.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Harry agreed with a shrug. “Haven’t really given it much thought, exactly.”

Louis stared dramatically out into nothing and put a hand to his chest.

“To have a business card or not have a business card, that is the question.”

Louis started giggling at his own joke and Harry face palmed himself and groaned. “You’re so weird.”

“Hey! You’re one to talk,” Louis immediately countered. Maybe he had a point.

“Maybe we’re both weird,” Harry offered.

Louis nodded seriously, before giving out his hand. “Let’s share a manly handshake for not being normal.”

Harry instantly grabbed Louis’ smaller hand in his, his expression grave. “I, Harry Edward Styles, herby in the country of England, in the presence of the Queen-“

Louis eyes lit up. “Can I be the queen?”

Harry rolled his eyes again. “No, not you. Jesus. It’s, eh, that old lady over there.”

Gesturing his head to the right, Louis followed the direction and spotted an old woman in posh clothes and extensive make up. Louis snorted. Her lipstick was way too red in contrast to her pale skin. “I would have made a much better queen.”

“Sure you would. Now, if you would let me finish.”

“Oh, yeah, right. Sorry, sorry.”

“-in the presence of the Queen,” Harry continued, while pointedly gesturing his head to the right, “fully declare myself not normal.”

“Great. Now it’s my turn.” Louis smiled blindingly. “I, Louis William Tomlinson, herby in the country of England, in the presence of myself, fully declare myself not normal.”

The two boys released their grip and smiled sheepish at each other.

“I really hope no one, like, recorded that.” Louis said and looked over his shoulder anxiously. “I never would have been taken seriously ever again.”

They had sort of stopped in the entrance, too caught up in their captivating conversation to move forward. Hence, there was no once around them to have eavesdropped.

“I think we’re good.” Harry smiled reassuringly. “But, uh, shouldn’t we, like, check in or something? Or are we just going to stand here?”

“Oh, right, no.” Louis chuckled and went to stand next to Harry, pointing at a man standing by one of the receptions. “See that man over there? He knows what I want and such, so he’s on it. He’ll let us know when we can go.”

Harry nodded. That’s perfectly normal. “Cool.”

“Yeah.” Louis dropped his arm. “I hope we get a Jacuzzi.”

Funny things were happening inside of Harry’s stomach. He swallowed. “A Jacuzzi would be nice.”

“Really nice, yeah. Quite relaxing.”

Harry scratched the back of his head.

“Relaxing is nice.”

“Really nice.”

Harry turned to face Louis who was smirking suggestively at him. Harry was just about to make a cheeky remark when Louis beat him to it.

“Oh, he’s done.” Harry looked at the man in a suit who gestured his hand for them to come over. Louis tugged at his t-shirt. “Come on, Curly.”

The two boys received their key, and was told their luggage would be there any minute. Harry was being referred to as “Mr Styles” which he thought was quite cool. He preferred Curly, though.

They went up to their room and once they had entered, Harry had to literally catch his breath because the room was huge. It was probably bigger than his own house. Okay, no. Not that big. Harry was exaggerating. But still.

In the middle was a gigantic bed which looked very inviting. Louis seemed to share this opinion and immediately ran towards it and threw himself at it. Harry smiled at him and opened the door to his left to see what it was. It proved to be a bathroom, a deep blue colouring the walls, and a bright, shining mirror in front of a big sink. It was breathtaking as far as bathroom standards go. Just one flaw.

“No Jacuzzi.” Harry noted.

“What a shame,” Louis answered from where he was lying. “It has a shower, though, right?”

“Yeah. And a bathtub.”

“How fancy.”

Harry closed the door, and went smiling over to where Louis was. He laid down next to him, his stomach pressed into the soft mattress.

“I think this whole hotel is quite fancy.”

“I think you’re quite fancy.” Louis countered.

Harry chuckled. “I can live with that.”

“Lovely.”

The two boys were lying smiling towards one another, and Harry could think of so many things he wanted to do. He wanted to discuss how disgusting and misogynist he thought the prostitute industry was; how he thought it reduced a person’s value down to their sex ability, he also wanted to record a music video to a 90’s pop song where they jumped around on the bed and threw pillows at one another, plus he wanted to play scrabble just to see which words Louis would write and he wanted to do so, so much more, and he didn’t really know where to begin.

In the end, they settled on watching TV. And that was more than good enough.

xx

Night time was coming. Harry and Louis had spent the afternoon watching a marathon of Americas Next Top Model, because it was bloody entertaining, alright? They had their ankles tangled in between them and were constantly sharing looks and giggles in between photo shoots and eliminations. It was fun.

(“Is this how your photo shoots are like too?” Harry had asked during one extremely dramatic shoot where two girls had ended up crying.

“Yeah, Jesus Christ.” Louis confirmed. “Liam’s always like, ‘Louis, you have to smile with the eyes!’ And I’m always like ‘Well, Liam, you have to smile with your mouth!’ And then Niall is like ‘I will never smile again unless I get some food right now.’ And then he doesn’t get any food, blablabla, and then there’s tears involved.”

Harry stared at him. “So they’re identical.”

“Basically, yeah.”)

But Harry was getting hungry. He said as much.

“I’m hungry.”

“Yeah, me too.” Louis jumped off the bed and stretched his arms. “Watching Tyra Banks striking poses really gets the best out of you.”

Harry stood up as well. “Definitely. Watching a marathon or running a marathon is pretty much the same thing.”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.”

“So, where do you wanna eat?”

“Hm,” Louis made considering sound and furrowed his brows together, “I’m currently in the mood for McDonalds.”

Harry eyebrows went up. “What? Really?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

“And I’d rather not go anywhere too public. You know, with the whole ‘wahh, it’s Louis Tomlinson, let’s scream’ sort of thing.”

Harry nodded seriously. “I’d protect you though.”

“Actually, mate, I figured you’d be the one screaming.”

Harry let out a loud laugh. “I wouldn’t be screaming.”

“Right.” Louis said slowly, sceptical. “But let’s, however, assume that we didn’t know each other, and we’d met at McDonalds, what would you have done?”

“Hm,” Harry took a deep breath and put his hands on his hips, “I probably wouldn’t have screamed, that wouldn’t have been very me.” He shrugged. “Maybe I would have taken all off my clothes off in order to get your attention.”

Louis started laughing disbelieving. “Oh, man! Really?”

“It’s definitely a possibility.” Harry answered seriously.

Louis was still laughing. “Jesus, in that case I kind of wish I had met you at McDonalds. I mean, you definitely would have gotten my attention.”

“Great.” Harry blushed.

“However, now we do know each other, so.” Louis shrugged and leaned against the wall. “I’m just going to be boring as suggest the restaurant downstairs?”

Harry smiled. Really, anything Louis would have suggested would have been fine. McDonalds would have been fine.

“Sure.”

xx

After the dinner, Harry rubbed his belly. He was pleasantly full after a lovely dinner at a lovely restaurant with lovely company. He had had a bowl of spaghetti Bolognese with a glass of white wine to drink along with it. Louis, on the other hand, had enjoyed himself a steak and smashed potatoes with a beer. Both meals had been delicious.

They had just left the restaurant, which had a surprisingly big amount of Japanese costumers. Louis had noticed as much too, and had started telling Harry about that time One Direction had been to Japan. Harry had listened intently, committing every word to memory. He had seen pictures of them being there, but it was another thing entirely to hear it first hand from Louis like that. The smile never left his lips and he decided that he wanted to go to Japan too, someday. But right now, he was pretty content where he was.

“Hey, Harry?” Louis pulled him out of his reverie, hitting him lightly on his arm to get his attention.

Harry had both his hands in his pockets and looked at Louis. “Yeah?”

“It’s still pretty early. You want to go grab a drink, or something?”

“Alright,” he agreed before remembering something. “Hey, didn’t you order that old whisky?”

Louis made a grimace. “Yeah, but ew.”

“That’s what I thought.” Harry rolled his eyes. Louis was so stupid.

“Yeah, yeah.” Louis dismissed that, and made a hand motion to gesture to the bar at the other side of the room. The two boys walked over.

The bar had a reddish dim to it, and had flowers decorating the walls. It was quite a romantic bar, Harry thought. The bartender was a young, attractive female with a black skirt and a white shirt. Once the boys had sat down on their respective chairs, she immediately came over with a bright smile on her face.

“Hi, what can I get for you?”

Louis looked at Harry, a small smile on his lips. “What would you like?”

“I don’t know,” Harry shrugged, “I’ll have whatever you’re having.”

“Hm,” Louis seemed to contemplate this. He then suddenly looked very smug. “Well, in that case I’ll have one shot of vodka, one Jägermeister, and, eh,” Louis looked at Harry, almost challenging, “one appletini.”

“Ugh,” Harry groaned and let out one excessive sigh. Oh boy. “The same for me then, I guess.”

“Excellent.”

“Coming right up.” The girl smiled and left before returning only a few minutes later with their ill combined drinks. “Here you go.”

“Thanks, darling.” Louis gave her a blinding smile before she left to serve another costumer.

Harry looked down at their drinks and felt like moaning out loud. They really didn’t look too appetizing. “So, how do we go about this?”

Louis stretched out his arms and cracked his knuckles. “Just follow my lead.”

Harry nodded, and three drinks later, Harry’s head was spinning. He wasn’t sure if the room got lighter or darker, because although everything suddenly was harder to make out, the things he did see was almost offensively bright. He did know one thing, though.

“Hey, Lou?” He drawled.

Louis turned to face him, looking smug. “Yeah?”

“You know what I just realised?”

“No.”

Harry put a hand on the desk and pushed himself closer, crowding his space so that he was breathing into Louis ear. He grinned when he could hear Louis’ heavy breathing.

“I haven’t kissed you since this morning.”

Louis’ hand trailed slowly across his chest, whispering back, “That you haven’t.”

Biting his lower lip, Harry leaned down so that they were face to face, only inches away, before he could feel Louis’ hand pushing him away.

“And let’s keep it that way,” Louis said sternly when Harry was back in his own chair.

Pouting disappointedly, Harry asked, “What? Why?”

Louis looked away and shrugged nonchalantly. “I don’t know, I’m just not feeling like it.”

Harry looked at him incredulously. “You’re not feeling like it?” He repeated slowly.

“Um,” Louis narrowed his eyes and started stroking his chin thoughtfully, “no? Not really feeling like it. No offense, you’re just not my type. I’m more of a straight hair kind of guy, so.”

Harry nodded, taking it in. “Straight hair. Right.”

Louis let out of short laugh, giggling into his palm, and looked at Harry. “Nah, I’m only kidding.”

Harry rolled his eyes. What, really, he had absolutely no idea. “Aren’t you funny.”

“But look,” Louis put a hand on his thigh and looked him in the eyes, “Harry, I want to. I really, _really_ want to. But what about all the people here? They will notice, and you never know who will tell who.”

Harry looked around in the crowded room, men in suits, women in fancy dresses. A lot of Japanese. And yeah, maybe Louis had a point.

“Yeah, I guess.”

Louis removed his hand and looked out over the bar. “It’s like, I’m not ashamed or anything but.” He shrugged. “It is was it is.”

Harry let out a heavy sigh. “Yeah.”

The silence lingered in the air, and Harry didn’t know what to say to break it.

“But,” Louis finally said.

“But?” Harry encouraged.

“But,” Louis continued, now smiling, “we could always continue this somewhere a bit more private.”

A big smile made its way onto Harry’s face. “I do like the sound of that!” Eagerly, Harry quickly jumped off his chair, which ended up with him falling down to the floor. Somehow. He wasn’t even sure himself. “Woah.” He muttered to himself as he tried to regain his balance.

Louis chuckled and bent down to offer him his assistance. Harry took his hand and Louis pulled him up.

“Easy there, Curly. Don’t want to get yourself hurt.”

Harry was standing up again. “No, that would be unfortunate.”

“Vey unfortunate.” Louis agreed.

Harry waited for Louis to lead the way up to their room but he stood completely still until he coughed and gestured down to their linked hands.

“Oh, right!” Harry exclaimed sheepish when he realised he was still holding onto Louis’ hand. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” said Louis as Harry removed his hand. “Shall we?”

Harry nodded, and the two boys took the elevator up to their floor where they entered their room. Harry’s head was still spinning, and based on the lazy grin on Louis’ face which never seemed to really leave, he assumed he was also a bit more gone than he would probably care to admit.

Louis stumbled into the room. “Home, sweet home.” He said and threw himself on the bed. Apparently, that was a thing he liked to do.

Harry locked the door before joining Louis on the bed, connecting their hands again. Louis smiled at him as he did so.

“Hi,” Harry said shyly.

“Hi,” Louis said back and shuffled closer.

Harry let go of Louis’ hand and put his hand on his hip instead, keeping him close. Louis shuffled even closer and soon they completely face to face, and seconds later, kissing. Harry closed his eyes and ravished in the feeling of Louis’ soft lips against his own. It felt amazing. He pulled him in closer and Louis complied, throwing one leg over Harry’s.

They kept it up for a while, just slow, languid kisses with their bodies moving in synchronization. It was quite a contrast to last night where everything had been both hurried and intense, both of them trying to take full advantage of the moment before it slipped away. Maybe it was the alcohol relaxing them, or maybe the room which had a peaceful yellow dim to it, causing Harry to feel extremely comfortable, or maybe it was just the knowledge that since this was the second time happening, it could probably be more, and there really wasn’t any need to rush it. Whatever the reason, Harry kept his eyes closed and let himself enjoy it.

It wasn’t until about ten minutes later that Louis pulled away and looked down at him a bit thoughtful. “Hey, what time is it?”

“Um,” Harry shuffled a bit and took out his phone from his pocket, “9.30. Why?”

Louis shrugged. “No reason, just wondering.”

Harry suddenly got a strong feeling like he was forgetting something. Something important. He furrowed his brows together and narrowed his eyes.

“You okay?” Louis asked when he noticed Harry’s puzzled look.

“Yeah, I just have a feeling like I’ve forgotten about something.”

“Well, alright.” Louis thrummed his fingers against his chest. “Have you, um, brushed your teeth today?”

Harry laughed. “You’d have noticed if I hadn’t.”

“True enough,” Louis agreed, and tried again. “Have you called your mum?”

“Yes!” Harry cried out, now becoming kind of desperate. He hated that feeling when he knew he was missing something important and couldn’t figure out what, but knowing it was right in front of him. “I called her a couple of hours ago. You know, right before we left and Zayn and the guys had just- “ he stopped midsentence, suddenly realising.

“What?”

“Zayn!” He exclaimed and shuffled so he was sitting up straight. “I haven’t called or texted him since he left. I mean, Jesus. God knows what he’s up to.”

“Well,” Louis moved so he was sitting next to Harry, “I doubt Liam and Niall would just leave him on the street to die, though. I mean, I’m the irresponsible one in the group and not even I would do that.”

Harry let out a short laugh. “I guess.” He grabbed his phone again, and deliberately moved so that he could look at it without Louis seeing the wallpaper of himself singing. _Awkward._ “Still think I should give him a call, though.”

Louis, for some reason, snorted. “You don’t need to be all mysterious with your phone, you know. I’ve already seen your wallpaper.”

Harry’s grip around his phone immediately tightened. His eyes went big and he could feel his cheeks blushing. “What.”

“You heard me.”

The thing was that Harry couldn’t remember Louis ever looking directly at his phone. Unless… “Have you been sneaking through my phone?” He asked in a high pitched voice.

Louis scoffed indignantly. “I was only going to check the time, how was I supposed to know that was a big no-no?”

“Because phones a private!” Harry cried out, holding onto his phone for dear life. Like it was a precious, breakable little thing. “Besides, the photo is in black and white so it’s really artistic.”

“Artistic.” Louis repeated slowly. “Hipster, even.”

“Exactly. Besides, I like it. And you should appreciate the compliment.”

“I do appreciate the compliment!” Louis quickly disagreed. “I just thought it was a bit funny, is all.” He then seemed to have thought of something. “Hey, if you want to, you could always take a new picture right now, might be a bit more personal than, you know, google.”

“Oh! Yeah, let’s do that,” Harry agreed happily and opened his camera app and directed his phone at Louis. “Ready?”

Instead of answering, Louis simply made a silly grimace with his face and Harry chuckled as he took a photograph.

“Yeah, strike a pose,” Harry encouraged as Louis pulled another face. “So sexy for me, baby.”

Louis started laughing and Harry lowered his phone. He had gotten what he wanted.

“Do you think Tyra Banks would have been proud?” Louis asked, starry-eyed.

“Very. A high class model, you are.”

Louis shrugged. “Nah, too short.”

Harry examined him thoroughly. “I’d say you compensate in other places, though.”

Blushing slightly, Louis hit him lightly on the chest. “Cheeky bastard!”

“You like it,” Harry laughed. Louis shuffled back a bit and rolled his eyes, but didn’t disagree.

Harry lowered his gaze to change the wallpaper on his phone, before remembering what he was supposed to be doing.

“Gonna call Zayn now,” He announced.

“Can you put him on speakerphone?” Louis asked.

Shrugging, Harry replied, “Sure.” He didn’t see why not.

He pressed down Zayn’s name in his contacts and waited for him to pick up. He looked over at Louis, who also sat staring down at the phone, waiting patiently. However, when there had been an appropriate amount of beeps, and still no answer, Harry ended the call. He looked at Louis again, who only shrugged.

“Let’s try again,” Harry mumbled and pushed down “call” again. This time, however, it only took a few seconds before the call was interrupted. Harry furrowed his eyebrows together.

“Weird,” he said as he pushed down “call” again. But yet again, it only took a few seconds before it was abruptly disconnected.

“Maybe he’s dodging your call,” Louis suggested. Harry considered this.

“Nah, I don’t think so. Why would he be doing that?”

Harry was just about to make another call when he suddenly got a text. He opened it and could feel Louis leaning over to read as well.

 

From: Zayn

_Could you stop calling im right in the middle of something!!!!_

 

Harry reread it a couple of times thoroughly, before looking up at Louis, slowly stating, ”It appears like he was dodging me after all.”

Louis patted him consolingly on the shoulder. “Hang in there, trooper. It was nothing personal.”

“But why would he do that?” Harry leaned forward and pressed his face onto Louis’ neck, fake sobbing. “I thought we were friends.”

Louis rubbed his back. “There, there. I’m sure he was only busy.”

Harry was now fake sobbing hysterically. “What could be more important than _me?_ ”

“Nothing is more important than _you,_ Harry.” Louis soothed and Harry smiled widely in response. He did like the sound of that. Louis continued. “You’re the chosen one. Who else will defeat Voldemort?”

Harry’s smile weakened. “I think you’re confusing with me with another Harry.”

Louis shoved him away, his eyebrows raised. “Are you telling me you’re not a student of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry? Didn’t Dumbledore send you here?”

Harry let out an excessive sigh. “No, I’m just Harry.”

“Well, then, _just_ Harry,” Louis said quietly, resting a comforting hand on his knee, “have you ever done something out of the usual? Something you couldn’t explain?”

Louis’ expression was dead serious, and he looked Harry gravely, waiting for him to answer. Harry could hear the clock ticking in the background as he looked away thoughtfully, choosing his words carefully. When he looked back at Louis, he was still staring at him with the same unperturbed look. Harry took a deep breath.

“I did talk to a frog once.”

Louis’ eyes went big, and for a moment there was complete silence, before Louis suddenly burst out into hysterical laughter, and buried his face in a pillow.

“You did _what?_ ” He cried out, barely audible. Harry looked down at him and shrugged.

“Well, there was no one else around, and none of my friends wanted to hang out, so.”

That apparently didn’t measure up as an appropriate excuse for Louis, who only began laughing even more, barely even breathing. Harry scratched the back of his neck. Maybe he shouldn’t have said that.

“Well, in that case it makes perfect sense,” Louis stated as he pulled himself up, his cheeks red from laughing. He rubbed his palm across his forehead as if he’d been sweating. “And what did the frog say?”

“I don’t know,” Harry shrugged, “turns out I don’t speak frog tongue.”

Louis covered his face in his hands and groaned, “ _Harry._ ”

“What?” Harry asked indignantly, with a sheepish smile on his face.

Removing his hands from his face, Louis smiled and leaned forward and started rubbing their noses together. “You are just too cute.”

Harry was a bit surprised at the sudden turn of events and was just about to say something when he heard the familiar notes of “C’mon C’mon” come rushing through his phone. Damn it, he never should have allowed Zayn to change his ringtone.

Louis laughed again and removed himself from Harry’s space. “You really are something else.”

Ignoring that, Harry looked down at the screen. “It’s Zayn calling.”

“Answer then.”

Doing as he was told, Harry hit the answer button and put him on speakerphone.

“Hello?” Harry greeted carefully.

“Harry!” Zayn immediately exclaimed in a high pitched voice. Both Harry and Louis flinched slightly in response. “Jesus Christ, I am so glad you called. I really, really need someone to talk to, God.”

“Well, why didn’t you call me then?”

“I wanted to but I didn’t want to, like, you know, disturb something.”

Louis and Harry exchanged an amused look. Louis raised his eyebrows up and down suggestively.

Harry chuckled and answered Zayn, “You could have called, though. We were only watching Americas Next Top Model.”

“Oh,” this seemed to have surprised Zayn, “what season?”

Harry looked at Louis questioning, and saw him raising nine fingers.

“Nine,” Harry answered. _Apparently._

“Cool,” Zayn replied. “Anyway, back to me. So, I’m at a restaurant with Liam and Niall-“

“Ooooh,” Harry interrupted, smirking.

“Oh, shut up, Harry! Just, like, don’t. I mean, can you. Just, like, not. I mean. Ugh.” Zayn rambled until he just cried out, “Just shut up, okay?”

Harry laughed and could see Louis hiding his laughter in the back of his hand. “Okay, sorry, I’ll be quiet. Please continue.”

“Thank you.” Zayn took a deep breath. “So, as I was saying, I’m at a restaurant with Liam and Niall, which is kind of a big deal. Like, we had been hanging out at the studio all day, just doing some stuff, you know.” Harry had no idea what kind of stuff, but he kept his mouth shut. “Like, I actually talked some and oh my god, I shouldn’t have because it was all stupid, but anyway, maybe not that stupid, but whatever. So, then after, you know, like, at five, Liam was like ‘you wanna go grab dinner’ and Niall was like ‘yeah, you should come’ and what the actual fuck, I can’t say no to that. And then I asked why they even wanted to go with me, and they said something about they preferred going in threes, and since Louis wasn’t around I’d be, like, a replacement.” Harry looked at Louis who had an offended look on his face. Harry smirked and kept quiet as Zayn rambled on. “Weird explanation, I know. But I was like ‘sure’. And then we ate and stuff, which was, like, cool. And then you called, and I was like ‘shit, is it rude to answer’, so I didn’t. But now I’m at the bathroom so I figured it’d be fine to talk.”

Harry waited a moment to make sure Zayn was completely finished, before saying, “Seems like you had quite a day there, Zayn.”

“You’re telling me! It’s simultaneously the best and the worst day of my life so far.” Zayn talked so fast it seemed like he was out of breath. “Shit, fuck. I don’t even. God.”

Without any warning, Louis leaned over and whispered in Harry’s ear, “Tell him to relax, go back to their table, order something to drink and talk about comic books with Liam. They’ll love him.”

Harry nodded, and Louis shuffled back. “Um, Zayn, you know what you should do?”

“No, I really don’t,” Zayn said, slightly hysterical.

Harry shot Louis a questioning look, and he only nodded encouraging. “You should relax, go back to your table, order something to drink and talk about comic books with Liam. Then they’ll love you.”

“That easy, huh?”

Louis nodded.

“That easy.” Harry confirmed.

“Right.”

Louis leaned in again to whisper in Harry’s ear. “Tell him to compliment Niall on the food, since I’m assuming he picked the place. And tell him to ask Liam if he’s ever been surfing, it’ll make sense later.”

“And um, Zayn,” Harry said as Louis pulled back again, “you should probably compliment Niall on the food, since I’m assuming he picked the place. Since he, you know, likes food. And, eh, you should also ask Liam if he’s ever been surfing.”

There was a small silence.

“Why should I ask Liam about surfing?”

Harry could feel his cheeks redden. “Just, eh, something I’ve read on Tumblr. It will make sense later.”

“Oh, alright.” Zayn appeared to have bought this explanation. “Shit, Harry, you’re good at this. Anything else you can recommend?”

Harry looked at Louis questioning, who seemed to consider this. He then smiled widely, and pointed at his mouth.

“You should…” Harry wasn’t too sure he understood what Louis meant, “smile a lot?” It came out as a question. Louis nodded in confirmation.

“Okay, thanks. I’ll do that.” Zayn said. “I guess I should just take a piss and go back then, huh?”

“That’s probably the best,” Harry confirmed. “Good luck!”

Zayn let out a heavy breath. “Thanks. And you too, I guess.”

“Thanks.” Harry was just about to hang up when he remembered something. “Oh, and Zayn?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t be afraid to call at any time. I’ll answer.”

He could practically hear Zayn’s smile. “Thanks. I’ll remember that. Bye!”

“Bye!”

When the phone call was over, Harry looked up at Louis. “I’d say that went pretty well.”

Louis nodded and swept his fringe across his forehead. “Yeah, definitely. I think that’s the longest I’ve ever heard him speak.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Harry smiled. “Thanks for the help, by the way. We make a good team.”

Smiling widely in return, Louis raised a hand which Harry immediately high fived enthusiastically.

“Right.” Louis said and rubbed his two hands together, looking at Harry smugly. “Now that that’s cleared up, I do believe you mentioned something earlier about a bathtub?”

“Let me think,” Harry narrowed his eyes and pretended to think. Obviously, he remembered announcing earlier that they had a bathtub; his memory wasn’t that bad. But he liked to pretend having to think about it to make Louis impatient.

In the meantime, however, his mind drifted back to Pretty Woman and how everything, despite all odds, had worked out in the end. Now, he didn’t want to get his hopes up for himself, but things were going unbelievably well. And maybe, maybe if thing could work out for Julia Roberts, then maybe they could work out for Harry too.

But Harry figured this was no time to be thinking. Carpe diem, and all that. Seize the day, live in the moment.

He smiled at Louis, his eyes shining. “I do believe I did mention that, yes.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update? Already? Who am I and what did I do to myself?? 
> 
> Heh. Enjoy :)

**Liam’s POV:**

It was an ordinary, cloudy Wednesday afternoon; the fourth day since Niall and Liam had been back in London, and only two days left before the last show of their tour. To say that Liam was excited would be a bit of an understatement. 

And, as always before a big show (or any show really, they were all big nowadays) they had to practice their routines and such. Even if it wasn’t as much of a routine as much as “Niall, you stand here, Louis, you stand here and Liam, you stay exactly where you are because you are perfect. Now, jump around and look happy.” Okay, it was a bit more than that. They had to practise their cues, work on their voices so they sang in harmony, exactly where they should stand on stage, and other things, like getting used to the arena, feel the vibe. All so that they weren’t completely lost when it was time for them to perform. And given that this was their last show too, they really wanted to smash it. 

So that’s what they were doing at the moment. Standing on stage in a circle consisting of him, Niall, Louis and Eva, their voice coach, practising their songs. They were doing that thing when Eva was snapping the beat with her fingers, and the three boys sang and it became almost like magic, the three of them completely loosing themselves in the music and doing what they loved doing the most.

They were currently working on “Over again” and had just finished the first chorus and when it was time for Louis’ solo, he opened his mouth to start singing but in the blink of an eye, he glanced slightly to the right and his expression changed entirely and instead of singing, he started laughing. 

Immediately, the magic was gone, the spell around them broke and Eva dropped her hands, putting them to her hips and looked at Louis disappointedly. 

“ _Louis._ ”

“I’m sorry,” he giggled, smiling brightly and his eyes shining, basically looking the opposite of sorry, “Harry’s pulling a funny face.” 

Typical. 

All four of them turned around and of course, sitting in a seat in the front row was Harry, looking like a deer caught in the spotlight. His eyes were wide like he hadn’t been expecting the sudden attention. The arena was silent.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his cheeks flushed, and unlike Louis, he actually sounded genuinely upset. It was probably Eva intimidating him. She had a way of doing that. He shrank down in his seat, like he was trying to make himself smaller. “Please don’t kick me out. Just pretend I’m not here.”

Instead of giving him a lecture, Eva simply turned around, rolling her eyes excessively. She probably wasn’t surprised. But who was? 

The first time Louis had brought Harry with him was this Monday. And immediately it was like they had known each other forever. Obviously, Liam had been expecting them to be somewhat close, seeing as the first time he had met Harry he had been hiding naked under the bed, but he was still a bit surprised at what he had discovered. 

For example, there was always a minimum amount of space between them. Like, they would eat and Louis would just casually sit on Harry’s lap like it was the most natural thing in the world. Or when they were standing up, it was like it was physically impossible for them to have even an inch of space between them. 

Obviously, they were sometimes separated, but it always ended with someone hugging someone from behind or someone slapping someone on the arse. Liam remembered yesterday when he had been going through some details with Louis, and Harry had tiptoed up behind him and started tickling him. Louis, who had been totally unprepared, shrieked and turned around and started punching him all over, all while Harry was laughing hysterically. They ended up making out against a wall. 

Honestly. They were like twelve year olds flirting. 

But Liam didn’t mind. As long as Louis was happy, so was he. And frankly, he had probably never seen Louis this happy. 

What did surprise Liam about this whole situation was that Harry was sitting alone. Because all while Louis has been working, Harry had always been with his friend, Zayn. But now, he was nowhere to be seen. Liam frowned. He wanted to ask Harry where he was, but he figured now wasn’t the time. 

Eva pulled him back to reality when she snapped at Louis. 

“Hey, you. Focus!” She demanded, her voice stern. 

“Yeah, sorry, sorry.” Louis said, but the fond smile didn’t really ever leave his face. He took a few heavy breaths, trying to compose himself. “Let’s continue.” 

And they did. 

They started from the beginning, so Liam took a deep breath before he started singing his part. He nailed it, as usual. Niall did as well, and this time, Louis got it right too. When they were done, he saw Louis release a breath of relief and glanced to the right again and did a small thumbs up. Liam turned around and saw Harry raising two thumbs up with a giant, proud smile on his face. 

Those two, Liam swore to god. 

But what did struck him as strange was that Zayn still wasn’t there. Really, what was he up to? Was he walking around the arena alone?

“Alright,” Eva said, sounding impatient, “I can sense that I don’t have everyone’s full attention at the moment, so I suggest we take a little break and meet here again in-“

She didn’t even finish before Louis instantly ran off, leaving Niall, Liam and Eva to stare at him incredulously. He stopped in front of Harry and dropped to his knees and made a wave motion for him to come over. Harry immediately rose from his seat and walked over, looking curiously back and forward between Louis and the three watchers, before stopping so that they were now face to face. Leaning forward, Louis whispered something in Harry’s ear and Harry nodded enthusiastically in response. Smiling, Louis jumped off the stage, tugged Harry’s hand in his and they took off. _Huh._

“Those two, I swear to god.” Niall said, sounding amused. 

Liam turned around and put his hands on his thighs. “Yup.”

“We’ll meet again in one hour. Louis better be here then.” Eva finished, sounding slightly annoyed, before grabbing her stuff and walking away. 

“Right. I’m going to grab something to eat,” Niall announced when she had left, “you coming?”

“No, I just ate,” Liam replied, remembering the falafel he had eaten one hour ago, “But you go ahead. I’ll catch up with you later.” 

Nodding, Niall walked off in a different direction, leaving Liam to consider what he should do with his spare hour. He decided to just go for a scroll in the arena, seeing who he might bump into. 

He went backstage into a long corridor, which was crowded with people. No one he particularly wanted to talk to, though, to be honest. He greeted a few of them absently, but in the end he settled on the Dressing room, because it was usually empty. And sometimes, a man just needed a bit of privacy. 

He opened the door and stepped inside. It was quite a big dressing room, Liam had never truly understood why they needed so much space. But hey, he wasn’t complaining.

He was just going to close the door when he heard a moving sound, and seconds later, he saw Zayn crawling forward, like he had been hiding behind the couch. His eyes were wide and his cheeks slightly red. 

“Uh, hi,” he said sheepish, looking at Liam uncertainly. 

Liam stared at him for a moment before answering. Zayn’s big, brown eyes stared back at him.

“Hey,” replied Liam, slightly shocked. If he had been expecting anyone, it certainly wasn’t him. “So, uh, this is where you’ve been hiding.” 

“Well, yeah,” he said, looking bashfully down at the ground, “I, um. Louis said no one ever was in here, so.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Liam chuckled absently before he suddenly realised, “Oh, wait. Do you want to me leave?” 

Zayn immediately looked up, slightly panicky. “Oh, no, no. Please stay. It’s cool.” 

“Um, alright,” Liam turned to close the door fully now. His hands were slightly shaky because, to be honest, he was a bit nervous, which was probably silly. It was just that this boy was so, in loss of a better word, different? He was always so quiet, but at the same time he was constantly watching you with _that look_ , like he knew something that you didn’t. But he just particularly didn’t feel like sharing that information. Liam kind of felt like he was looking directly into his soul, and he felt a bit uncomfortable being that exposed. Because God knows what he might see? 

But then again, the boy was somewhat of a paradox. Because even though he had this mysterious “quietly-looking-into-your-soul-with-my-brown-eyes-knowing-everything-about-you“ side to him, he was also best friends with Harry “What’s That Louis, You Think We Should Chase Each Other Around In The Arena? Best Idea Ever!” Styles, so Liam figured he couldn’t be that calm and cryptic all the time. 

Basically, he was an enigma and Liam didn’t know what to make out of that. 

Plus, he was still disturbingly attractive, something which Liam still hadn’t recovered from. It made his stomach curl uncomfortably. 

And now they were completely alone, which was something that had never happened before. Great. 

When the door was properly closed, Liam saw no other option than to walk forward to where Zayn was lying. There were papers splattered across the floor. Liam looked down, frowning slightly in confusion. “What are you up to?” 

“Oh, um,” Zayn moved so he sitting cross-legged, and started collecting the papers into one pile, “I was just, um, drawing a bit.” 

“Oh,” Liam said surprised, and sat down in front of Zayn. He wanted to grab a drawing and look closer at it, but Zayn quickly tucked them all away before he got the chance to. 

“Could I maybe, um, get a closer look at one?”

Zayn immediately stiffened and looked at Liam uncertainly, “Um.” 

“If you want to, of course,” Liam hurriedly added. He didn’t want to make Zayn uncomfortable. “No pressure, it’s fine if you don’t want to.” 

Zayn stared at him, and he did that thing again like he was looking right through you, deeming if whether or not you were worthy. He then coughed and started going through the pile, his gaze flickering back and forward between Liam and the papers anxiously. 

“No, it’s fine,” he said, still looking anxious, “you can, um –“

Instead of finishing, he just handed the papers over to Liam, who grabbed them carefully. He felt like this was a big deal. He didn’t want to overstep any boundaries.

“Thanks,” Liam mumbled as he started flickering through them. He could feel Zayn watching him intently.

And of course, Liam shouldn’t have been surprised. He should have known Zayn would have been unbelievably talented. But surprisingly, he was surprised. The drawings were quite different, unlike anything he had ever seen before. He figured they would not appeal to everyone, and maybe that was why Zayn had been so hesitant about showing them. He shouldn’t have been. If anything, he should have shoved them into Liam’s face, saying ‘look, look what I’ve done!” In other words, he should have been proud. 

“These are amazing,” Liam said absently, never removing his gaze from the pictures in his hands. 

Zayn didn’t answer, and Liam continued to look through everyone before looking up and handing them back. Zayn still looked uncomfortable. 

“Did you draw all of those right now?” Liam asked once Zayn had gotten them back. 

A big smile cracked on Zayn’s face, and he looked at Liam amused. “Do you really think I draw that fast?” 

God.

Liam wanted to face palm himself. Of course he didn’t.

“No, I’m sorry, of course not. I-“ Liam smiled apologetically, “I wasn’t thinking, of course you don’t.”

Zayn smiled widely, looking genuinely happy. It lit up his entire face, making it breathtakingly beautiful. Liam thought Zayn should draw himself, because _he_ was a masterpiece. 

And that was one thing Liam would never, _ever_ say out loud. 

“It’s okay,” Zayn chuckled. 

Liam coughed, wanting to change the subject. “But honestly, those were really great. You should be proud of yourself. Like, show them off to everyone you meet.” 

“Yeah, well,” Zayn shrugged, looking away, “it’s not really that easy. Like, good or not, showing anyone what you’ve created is like showing someone a private piece of your soul. And once you have, there’s really no going back. And that just makes you feel really exposed.” 

Liam blinked. That sounded awfully close to something he had just been thinking seconds ago.

“But you showed me,” he said eventually. 

Zayn shrugged, looking down at the ground, “Yeah.” 

Liam couldn’t help but to feel like this was a significant moment. He hadn’t been expecting that response, but now he kind of wanted to carry on with the subject. 

“But,” Liam said and Zayn looked up, “if it is actually good, then wouldn’t you want people to see that side of you then?” 

Liam didn’t know if he was talking about a hidden side of himself, or Zayn’s drawings. 

“Well, yeah, obviously,” Zayn agreed, “but I think it’s hard to tell with yourself. Like, it’s always easier to like or be proud of something someone else has made, simply because it’s someone else. I don’t think you can ever truly be objective with yourself and therefore you can never really know if it’s good or not.” 

“You’re always harsher with yourself,” Liam added.

“Exactly,” Zayn said. “I think a main reason for that is because if you actually was proud of something you did and someone else disagreed, you would just feel so stupid. So it’s always easier to be harsh towards yourself, so if anyone dislikes it, you can always go ‘yeah, I know, wasn’t my best work’ and not feel like an idiot about it.”

Liam looked at Zayn carefully. “Quite a sad way to look at it.” 

“Yeah, I know. People tell me I have a sad way to look at things sometimes,” Zayn chuckled, “I think it’s pretty admirable that some people can just stand up for themselves and what they’ve done without caring what other people think. I wish I had the confidence for that.” 

Liam had no idea how the conversation got this intense. But sometimes, Liam was just clueless. And right now, Zayn made him clueless. 

“You should have.” Liam said seriously. “You deserve it.” 

Zayn smiled faintly. “And that is easy for you to say, because you are not me.” 

Liam shrugged, “I guess.” He then unpredictably laughed. “Hey, when did you become this talkative?”

Shrugging, Zayn tugged at the hem of his shirt. “I don’t know.” He blushed a bit, looking slightly uncomfortable again. “I guess I just, I don’t know, haven’t been comfortable enough. Or something.”

Liam nodded, “Alright.” He looked at the papers. “So, is that what you do? Draw?”

“Nah, I wish.” Zayn smiled. “I’m in uni, studying English. Going to become a teacher.” 

Raising his eyebrows, Liam said, “Cool.”

“Yeah,” Zayn said, “Well, I already know what you do, so there’s no point in asking that.”

Liam narrowed his eyes. “You sure about that?”

Zayn smiled shyly, “You’re an architect, right?”

Smiling, Liam said, “Damn straight.” He looked around the room, raising a hand. “Designed this building.”

“Figured.”

“Nah, I’m just kidding,” Liam explained, like it wasn’t painfully obvious, “I’m a singer in One Direction.” 

“Oh, really?” Zayn said, feigning surprise, “Impressive.”

“A bit, maybe,” Liam shrugged nonchalantly. 

Zayn looked at Liam intently, considering.

“What would you want to be if you weren’t in One Direction?” He asked finally. 

“Um,” Liam contemplated his answer, even though he knew exactly what, “a firefighter, probably.”

Zayn expression didn’t change, he just continued to look at Liam attentively. After a moment, he asked, “Why?”

“I guess, I just,” Liam searched his brain for a good answer. He looked at Zayn uncertainly, “I’ve always liked the idea of saving people?”

Zayn nodded seriously, like that was a good answer. “Right. But I’m guessing being a musician isn’t too bad, either.” 

“No, of course not,” Liam quickly agreed. 

“A part of me wants to be a singer too,” Zayn confessed. 

“You can sing?” Liam asked. Again, he shouldn’t have been surprised, but he was. 

“Yeah, I think so. I love singing.” 

“Hey, we should go to the Music Lounge,” Liam suggested eagerly, “We could try some of the instruments out. I would love to hear you sing.” 

Zayn looked hesitant. 

“Come on. _Please,_ ” Liam pleaded. 

“Fine,” Zayn finally agreed with a sigh, and stood up. Liam smiled, and stood up as well. 

“Awesome,” he said cheerily. They walked to the door, and out into the corridor. “Just follow me.” 

They walked through the corridor mostly in silence, but it wasn’t awkward. Liam again greeted some people on the way; he was truly lucky to have such a nice team to work with. The arena was a bit of a maze, but they eventually found the door with a “Music Lounge” sign on it.

“Here we are,” Liam announced and opened the door. He walked in, and Zayn followed closely behind. But the minute he stepped a foot inside, he could just tell something was wrong. “What the-“

The room was a mess. Not a “hurricane has struck and everything is all over the place” mess, but still a mess. Clothes were lying splattered all over the floor, there were water bottles everywhere, and the painting on the wall was slanting. But the weirdest part was that Liam could have sworn he heard distinctive panting and moaning coming from somewhere in the room. Instinctively, he turned to the couch to the left and the first thing he noticed was the distinctive mop of curls that could only belong to one person. 

Typical. 

Turning around, Harry’s face was now in full view. His cheeks were bright red and his green, big eyes slightly maniac as he stared at Liam and Zayn in surprise. A second later, he shuffled back and Louis came up from underneath him. His hair was messy and standing out at weird places. Liam had probably never seen him look that trashed.

There was a moment of stunned silence, Harry and Louis staring at Zayn and Liam, who stared back at them. It was hard to tell who was in more shock. 

Ultimately, Liam decided to speak up. This was ridiculous. 

“Um,” he started but was interrupted by Louis before he could even say anything. 

“This is all Harry’s fault,” he claimed indisputably. 

Harry turned to face Louis, and put a hand to his chest. “ _My_ fault?” He cried out, indignant. “It was your idea to-“

Louis turned his gaze away from Liam, to look at Harry. 

Liam sighed. _Twelve year olds._

“Yeah, well, you’re the one who agreed!” Louis argued, interrupting Harry. 

Harry still stared at Louis disbelieving. “Doesn’t make it _my_ fault, though.” 

Louis pouted innocently. “All I wanted was some nice, good old room trashing when you suddenly attacked me.” 

Harry’s mouth hung open. “ _I_ attacked _you?_ ” 

Liam could feel Zayn getting closer and tugged at his wrist to get his attention. “Let’s leave,” he whispered. 

Liam instantly nodded and turned around. He could hear Louis and Harry continuing their arguing. 

“I’m pretty sure you are the one who grabbed me-“

“Oh, no, no, no. That is not what happened. I am pretty sure that you-“

“Whatever you are going to say, I can guarantee-“

“-were deliberately trying to work me up so that I would-“

“That is not true-“

Sighing, Liam closed the door behind him. He could have sworn they didn’t even notice that they had left. Both Zayn and Liam looked at each other and sighed. 

“Well, it’s nice that they’re getting along,” Zayn said eventually. 

“Definitely,” Liam agreed. “Haven’t seen Louis this hyper since the X-factor.”

“I haven’t seen Harry this hyper since, well, never.” 

Liam smiled, nodding. But although he was glad Louis and Harry were enjoying themselves, he still really wanted to hear Zayn sing. He was just about to say as much when he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket. 

 

From: Niall

_Emergency!!!! I was going to eat ! But then I noticed I don’t have my wallet ! Then I remembered you have my wallet ! Soo.. Come here right now !_

 

“Shit,” Liam mumbled. He put a hand on his back pocket, and sure enough, there was Niall’s wallet. Why did he even have Niall’s wallet? That guy seriously needed to learn to take care of his own stuff. Liam looked up at Zayn apologetically. “I’ve gotta go, I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, that’s fine,” Zayn quickly reassured, “you do whatever you need to do.”

“You sure?” Liam was still hesitant. “Because I can stay, that’s really no problem at all.” God, it’s not like Niall couldn’t get food without his wallet. He was after all Niall Horan, for Christ’s sake. 

“No, it’s fine. You go,” Zayn smiled. 

The thing was that Liam didn’t actually want to go. He kind of wished that Zayn would just say ‘no, you have to stay and keep me company. Anything else would be incredibly rude of you.’ But that was apparently not happening, which left Liam feeling a bit disappointed. And Liam had absolutely no idea why he even felt that way. It was completely irrational. 

But irrational or not, Liam suddenly got an idea. Maybe it was stupid, but he was going to pull it through. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. 

“But, um, I would still really love to hear you sing sometime,” he said. 

“Yeah,” Zayn shrugged, “sure thing.”

Liam took another deep breath. Here we go. 

“Maybe you could give me your phone number and we could catch up sometime?” 

Liam usually didn’t get nervous, but this boy really was the exception to the rule, on all levels. Liam looked at him carefully, waiting for him to say something, but he only stared back at him in confusion. Slowly, Liam started to regret he had even said anything. His hands were beginning to sweat, and _oh god, why had he even said anything._

After a moment of excruciating silence, Zayn finally spoke, his eyebrows furrowed together. 

“What, really?” 

“Uh,” Liam said eloquently, his cheeks getting a bit hot, “yeah?” 

Zayn continued to stare, and Liam kind of wanted to throw up. That is until suddenly a bright smile made its way onto Zayn’s face, and he almost shined in exhilaration. 

“Yeah!” He exclaimed, which made Liam jump slightly. Zayn almost looked like he wanted to jump up and down in excitement. “Fuck, that sounds sick! Let’s do that.”

Without any warning, he grabbed Liam’s phone and started making a contact for himself. “That just sounds so great. Cool.” 

When Liam received his phone back, he was a bit in shock. “Uh, yeah. Great. I’ll, eh, give you a call then.”

Zayn smiled, and nodded happily. Again, Liam was struck by how beautiful he looked when he smiled. He almost lost the ability to speak.

“I’ll just, um, go now.” 

He had just turned around and was about to text Niall, asking where he was, when he heard Zayn call out to him. 

“Hey, Liam?” 

Instantly, Liam turned around. “Yeah?”

“I was just thinking,” Zayn began, speaking slowly, “if you like the idea of saving people, maybe it’s a good thing you’re doing what you’re doing.”

Liam frowned. “What do you mean?”

Zayn shrugged. “All I’m saying is that there are more ways to save a person than one.” 

And at that, Zayn offered one last faint smile before turning around, leaving Liam alone with his thoughts. 

Liam kind of felt like someone had just knocked the breath out of him. Like he knew there was air in the room, but he couldn’t exhale it into his lungs. 

He continued to stare as Zayn rounded the corner. And one thing was crystal clear to him, and it was that Liam was absolutely screwed. Just hopefully in a good way.


	15. Chapter 15

**Louis’ POV:**

From: Louis

_Are you coming soon?? Im getting impatient_

From: Harry

_Dont text me when Im in the bathroom, ew_

From: Louis

_More like dont text me back when youre in the bathroom, double ew_

From: Harry

_More like dont text me at all, triple ew_

From: Louis

_More like why are you still answering me, hundreds of ews_

From: Harry

_More like why are you still texting me, millions of ews_

From: Louis

_More like why are you still existing, infinite of ews_

From: Harry

_And in that moment, I swear we were ew_

From: Louis

_What_

From: Harry

_-.- Ill be there in one minute_

From: Louis

_Good. Hurry up sunshine!!! :)_

From: Harry

_Will do sweetcheeks xx_

 

Smiling, Louis pocketed his phone and leaned back against the wall to the arena. The wind was rather chilly, blowing straight into Louis’ bones, so he draped his arms around himself in order to save as much heat as possible. Tomorrow was the day of the big show, and the boys had just finished their last rehearsal. And as usual, Louis was starting to get hungry. And hunger plus coldness equalled an irritated Louis. He tapped his foot on the ground impatiently as he stared at the exit door. Harry’s “shit, I need to pee, I’ll be right back” sure was taking longer than expected. Louis wasn’t sure Harry knew the meaning of “right back”. With another exasperated sigh, he picked up his phone again and wrote another message.

 

From: Louis

_Its been one minute_

 

As if on cue, the exit door fiercely opened and out stepped Harry in all his long legged, crazy hair, and generally unfairly attractive, glory. He looked a bit out of breath, as if he’d been running, and Louis felt a bit bad. Not that bad, since he was still cold as fuck, but a little bit. There was a small uncomfortable feeling his stomach which could be described as guilt.

Harry stopped in in his walk when he got Louis’ text. He picked up his phone, and rolled his eyes after he’d skimmed through it. “I didn’t realise you were so literate about time,” he said as he made his way forward to where Louis was standing.

Louis pushed himself off the wall, but continued to stroke his arms up and down with his hands. “Not usually, but when it’s this cold, exceptions are made.”

Harry’s big, green eyes scanned Louis up and down. “You cold?”

“Yeah,” Louis said, looking up at the grey sky, “it shouldn’t be this cold in March. It is spring, for god’s sake. But that’s just one of those things you say every year, because you just won’t accept that it actually is cold in March.”

Harry continued to stare at him, frowning slightly. “Why aren’t you wearing a jacket?”

Louis looked down at his red hoodie. “Well, Niall forgot his at home because he overslept, so I offered him mine when he left.” Harry continued to stare without saying anything so Louis quickly added, “I mean, I’ll get it back tomorrow. It’s not like I just ‘here, Niall, have my jacket permanently’. I’m not that generous.” Nodding slowly, Harry kept his gaze focused on Louis who continued with his rambling, “Well, the thing about Niall is that he gets really cold easily, and you just feel so bad, because his cheeks get all rosy red and stuff, and you just want to light a fire and make him a cup of tea. But, like, I figured giving him my jacket would be a bit more efficient.”

“But now you’re cold,” Harry stated slowly.

“Yeah, well,” Louis shrugged.

Without further ado, Harry nodded and started removing his own jacket. He wore a grey, knitted shirt underneath.

“Oh, no, no, no-“ Louis began instantly. He waved his hands in a motion to make Harry stop.

Harry, however, ignored Louis’ complaints and removed it fully and handed it over for Louis to take.

“You’re cold. Take it,” He said simply.

“But then you’ll be cold,” Louis argued.

“I’ll manage.” Harry stood his ground. “Take it.”

“I refuse.”

“I refuse that you refuse.”

“I still won’t accept that.”

The two boys stared at each other, both determined not to surrender until Harry sighed, and shrugged.

“Fine,” he said.

Louis smiled, satisfied. “Good.”

But instead of putting it back on, Harry bend down and started unzipping his backpack which laid on the ground.

Louis frowned. “What are you doing?”

“If you won’t wear it, then neither will I,” he answered simply, and tucked the jacket into the bag. Louis sighed.

“ _Harry._ ” He groaned.

Closing the bag, Harry stood up and put it on his back. “Shall we?”

Ever since Harry had told Louis he used to work in a bakery, Louis had insisted he should bake him something, which Harry had gladly agreed to. Therefore, they had decided today after work would be the perfect day to hit the grocery store and buy the necessities.

“Fine, let’s go,” Louis agreed.

Harry nodded and they started walking. However, they had only been walking for about ten seconds, when another strong, freezing wind hit, making Louis shudder excessively.

Harry stopped walking. “Louis,” he said, causing Louis to turn around to look at him.

“What?”

“Just take my jacket,” he said, almost desperately. He looked at Louis pleadingly. “Please. I want you to.”

After considering a few seconds, Louis finally surrendered. After all, if that is what Harry wanted, that is what he should get.

“Fine. Give me the jacket.”

Harry beamed happily at him as he handed over the jacket. “You’re welcome.”

“Thank you,” Louis said as he slid the jacket on. It was way too big for him, the arms reaching all the way down to his fingers, so it secured him fully from the icy wind. It was already quite warm since Harry had used it earlier, and it even had his smell. Louis smiled as he sniffed the collar.

“It looks good on you,” Harry noted, sounding pleased.

“Looked better on you,” Louis countered.

Harry eyed Louis up and down, smiling, before saying, “Nah.”

Louis was pretty sure it looked pretty ridiculous on him, since it was way too big, but he wasn’t going to argue with Harry on this. If Harry wanted to be a polite gentleman and give him compliments, he didn’t really have a problem with that.

The supermarket wasn’t far from the arena, so Louis had suggested they would walk over and then take a cab home (“home” being their hotel). When they did, they talked about the show and how Louis was feeling towards it. Louis told him he was a bit nervous, and Harry, of course, told him he was perfect and had nothing to worry about.

When they reached the supermarket and entered, Louis couldn’t help but to hope it wasn’t too crowded. He didn’t want to raise a scene.

Harry grabbed a basket. “So, where to?”

“You’re the chef. You decide,” Louis said.

“Hm,” Harry carved his sleeves up, and Louis pretended like he didn’t notice the goose bumps on his arms. “Well, we could always start with finding some flour, I guess.”

“Lead the way, oh mighty flour finder.”

Harry laughed, and they began their search. Or Harry began his search, and Louis followed, keeping his head deliberately down, just in case.

“Probably in here,” Harry announced and they turned to their right into an aisle containing stuff like sugar, flour and other baking ingredients.

They were standing in front of the flour section, when Louis heard a girl’s voice making an appearance.

“Excuse me?”

Turning around, Louis spotted two young teenage girls, looking incredibly nervous.

“Hey,” he said, and smiled in the hopes of making them a bit more comfortable.

One girl stared wide eyed at him, as if she was seeing a ghost. “Oh my god, it is you,” she said, in complete bewilderment.

Louis shrugged sheepish, “Yup!”

The other girl suddenly broke into a smile so wide, Louis was worried it would cut her face in half.

“Oh my god! This is the coolest thing that has ever happened to me!” She cried out, looking absolutely thrilled. “Could we please, _please_ have a picture with you?”

Louis chuckled, and started fixing his hair subconsciously, “Yeah, of course.”

“Yay!” The girl exclaimed, and took up her phone from her bag. When it was out, she looked a bit uncertain.

Louis reached forward and grabbed it, and turned to Harry. “Um, could you?”

Harry nodded eagerly, and grabbed the phone. “This is so awesome,” he said cheerily.

Louis went to stand in between the two girls, and put an arm around both of them.

“Are you ready?” Harry asked.

The two girls and Louis nodded, and smiled widely into the camera.

After taking two photos, Harry lowered the phone. The hyper girl to Louis’ left wasn’t finished though.

“Could you please, please take a photo with just me, too?” She asked, looking pleadingly at Louis.

“Yeah, sure,” Louis agreed easily.

The other, quiet girl stepped away from view and Harry raised the phone again.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” the hyper one said and hugged Louis’ side tightly. Harry took another picture, and Louis did his special photo smile again.

When the picture was taken, Louis turned to the quiet girl, asking, “Would you like one as well?”

The girl’s face instantly turned red like a tomato, but she nodded hesitantly.

“Okay,” he said and went to stand next to her. Harry took another picture.

When they were done, Harry handed the phone over to the hyper girl. She accepted it and asked, her eyes narrow, “Who are you?”

“I’m Harry, Louis’ friend,” he replied, smiling.

“You’re not famous, are you?”

Harry chuckled. “Unfortunately not.”

“He will be soon, though,” Louis added, looking directly at Harry, “He’s an amazing singer.”

Harry’s smile got even bigger, “Thanks, man.”

The hyper girl joined the conversation again. “I was just wondering, because you sort of look like you could have been.”

“He does, doesn’t he?” Louis agreed. “When he is properly famous we are actually going to collaborate; One Direction featuring Harry Styles.”

“Harry Styles featuring One Direction,” Harry corrected.

Louis snorted and looked at Harry disbelievingly, “Never in one million years.”

The hyper girl laughed, and said, “Well, we should get going now. But it was so nice meeting you.” She suddenly started jumping up and down, shrieking. “Could I please, please hug you?”

Louis laughed, “Sure.”

“Thank you!” She exclaimed and threw herself at Louis, hugging him tightly. “You’re the best Louis, the sunshine of my universe. I love you so, so much.”

Louis patted her awkwardly on her back. “Thanks, love you too.”

When she released her grip, she absolutely glowed out of happiness. Louis turned to her friend and put out his arms inviting. “Hug?”

She giggled quietly and went forward and gave him a quick hug, before mumbling, “Thanks.”

“No worries.”

“We should go.” The hyper girl said to her friend. “Bye Louis and Harry!”

Louis waved, and Harry said, “Bye, take care!”

“Will do!” The two girls began walking away, before the hyper one turned around one last time. “Oh, and Louis, the next time you talk to Niall, tell him that I love him and we should get married.”

“Sure thing, love,” Louis replied, laughing. He wondered how many marriage proposals Niall had received by now. Maybe ought to get himself a wife. Maybe that way he wouldn’t forget his jacket.

After giving Louis a thumbs up, the two girls walked away, whispering idly to one another.

Louis turned to Harry who was still smiling. “Just another day in the ordinary life of Louis Tomlinson.”

“Those two were really nice, though,” Harry commented.

“Yeah,” Louis agreed, “most are.”

Harry nodded and they continued on with their shopping.

After getting the flour, they went searching for eggs and other things Harry deemed necessary. Louis felt like being an idiot so he added some pepper and salt when Harry had told him to get sugar, which Harry then removed from the basket with a dramatic eye roll. They met one more fan at the milk section and Louis took another picture. Or rather, Harry took the picture. This one was a bit older than the two others had been, perhaps even older than Louis, it was hard to tell.

They were standing in line to buy, chatting about what Harry was intending to bake, when a group of teenage boys got in line after them. Louis noticed them immediately, since they were not exactly being quiet, talking loudly about school, and the homework they were absolutely not intending to do. Louis figured they were at that age when they just had to be as loud and obnoxious as possible, which was okay; he figured he used to be like that too at some point. Therefore, he ignored them and focused his attention on Harry, who began telling a story about the one time he accidentally burned a muffin at the bakery, and one of his co-workers had told him that if he burned another one, he would go to muffin-hell. The story itself wasn’t especially interesting, one might even argue it was a bit pointless, but the way Harry told it, like it was the most important thing that had ever happened to him ever, made Louis pay attention and beam the entire time. He was, however, pulled out of the storytelling when one of the guys behind him, suddenly exclaimed,

“Oh, shit!”

Harry went abruptly quiet. Louis turned slightly, and could see one guy, sixteen, seventeen-ish, staring at him with big, blue eyes. His blonde, greasy hair stuck out from under a snapback, and he wore grey dirty sweatpants accompanied with a loose black sweater which had the word “BADASS” written across its chest.

“Hi?” Louis said, hesitantly.

Suddenly, the guy turned around and faced his friends, laughing hysterically.

“Oh my god, it’s that guy from that gay group my little sister is always listening to!” He said, pointing at Louis, who felt an overwhelming urge to stop existing.

“No way!” Another guy said, this one with shoulder long brown hair, and stepped forward to give Louis a proper eye over. “Shit, fuck. He looks even gayer in real life.”

Louis sighed heavily. This was ridiculous. “Thanks,” he said drily.

“Jesus, what is your group called again?” The brown haired boy pretended to think. “Is it gay direction, or one gay?”

All of the boys started laughing.

“Ha. Ha. Ha.” Louis replied humourlessly, rolling his eyes, and turned around so he was no longer facing him. Instead, he faced Harry who had suddenly gotten real tense. His mouth was pressed into a thin line, and his eyebrows furrowed together as he stared at the laughing boys. All the time which Louis had known him, which admittedly wasn’t long but still, he had never seen him anything other than happy and composed, so it actually worried Louis quite a bit to see him this obviously upset. Louis put a hand on his arm, “Harry.”

Before he even could look down on Louis, the blonde one started speaking again, “Who is that? Your _boyfriend?_ ” Which earned another round of laughter from their clique.

At that, Harry stepped closer to the gang, his eyes directed intently on the blonde one, looking close to murderous, “Shut up.”

“Oooh,” the blonde one said, grinning widely while putting an arm around the brunette, “Touchy. What are you going to do about it? Punch us in the face with a pink dildo?”

Harry’s mouth fell open, and Louis immediately squeezed his arm soothingly. He knew better than to pay attention to idiots.

“Harry,” he whispered, “just ignore them. Don’t raise a scene.” Harry relaxed slightly, and looked away from the blonde one and down at Louis, his green eyes appearing almost confused. “Please.”

Swallowing, Harry nodded and Louis let go of his arm. Harry started unloading their items onto the counter, and Louis let out a sigh of relief. The tension never truly left Harry’s shoulders, though. The blonde one continued with his stupid comments.

“Are you going to have a romantic dinner now, and then fuck each other in the arse?”

Ignoring him, Harry continued to unload their items, his posture even more tense and his breathing heavy. Louis still refused to give them the satisfaction of turning around and causing a scene. Instead, he looked at the girl at the checkout, who clearly had heard every spoken word, and appeared completely bewildered. She looked baffled back and forward between Louis and the gang as she helped the costumers before him and Harry.

“Can’t speak? Is your throat too sore from giving too many blowjobs?”

Louis closed his eyes and focused on his breathing. After all, it wasn’t anything he hadn’t heard before and at the end of the day, they were just idiots behaving like idiots. Nothing more than that. It was fine.

It was now Harry’s time to pay, and Louis stood next to him, in silence. Normally, he would have insisted to pay, but he didn’t really have it in him at the moment. He had a feeling Harry wouldn’t have let him anyhow.

“What is his name, anyway? Is it Liam or Louis?” He heard brunette behind him say, as if he wasn’t standing right in front of him.

“Louis,” the blonde boy confirmed, and Louis could hear the self-satisfied smirk in his voice, “he’s the one without a talent and drags the other two down. My sister’s said so herself.”

Louis swallowed thickly. Gay jokes didn’t bother him, not really, but that actually hurt.

That actually _really_ hurt.

Louis remained silent and stared down at the ground, fidgeting with his feet.

“Yeah,” the blonde one continued, chuckling, “my sister showed me his X-factor audition and it sucked so much it was fucking hilarious. Swear to god, he totally ruined the song.” Keeping his gaze down on the ground, he could hear the blonde one started singing the chorus to “Hey there, Delilah” in a mocking, high-pitched voice. Louis wanted to puke.

The rest of the gang laughed loudly, and blonde one finished, also laughing, “And I did it better!”

That was it.

Quickly, with giving it a second thought, Louis walked away from the line, and from Harry, without looking back. He could feel his heart beating furiously in his chest, and he did his best to shut out whatever it was the boys were shouting after him now. A part of him desperately wanted to turn around and teach them all a lesson, maybe by punching them all in the face, but a part of him also wanted to lay down on the ground and cry and call his mum, because he knew himself that his audition had been pretty awful, but to hear that it sucked that badly really made him catch his breath.

When he reached the exit, the cold air was a welcomed change from the warm, suffocating air inside. He walked to the left and leaned against the wall, looking longingly at the exit.

When Harry finally exited the building, he panted as if he’d been running, and Louis snorted, because that was the second time that had happened today. When he spotted Louis, he instantly ran over and stopped in front of him, dropping the two bags to the ground. His eyes were big as he stared at Louis carefully, his expression sympathetic. Louis immediately started shifting in his spot, uncomfortable under the intense attention.

“Are you okay?” Harry asked, looking so honestly worried. But there was also something else in his eyes, something close to pity. And if there was one thing Louis could absolutely not handle, it was pity.

Louis scoffed, avoiding eye contact, “I’m fine.”

Harry was still staring at him thoroughly, unconvinced. “You sure?”

“Yes,” he said shortly, wishing Harry would just drop it.

“Just saying, if I were you, I’d be really upset.”

“ _I’m fine,_ ” Louis repeated sternly.

“But really, those things they said were extremely rude, and they had no right –“

Louis snapped.

“Jesus Christ, Harry, I said I’m fine!” He shouted, shutting Harry up. “Would you please just drop it and like, call a cab or something? Jesus.”

Harry stood absolutely still, blinking. It wasn’t until after a few seconds that he seemed to have received Louis’ message. He bend his head down and nodded. “I’m sorry. I’ll, um, I’ll do that.”

Swallowing, Harry picked up his phone and started dialling a number. Louis started to feel something uncomfortable curl in his stomach.

“And let’s walk away from here in case they come back,” he said quietly, and Harry nodded, avoiding his gaze.

Louis picked up the two bags, and they walked to the other side of the car park, Harry talking on the phone, and Louis wishing he knew a way he could just disappear from the face of the planet without it being suspicious. When they stopped, Harry had ended the phone call, and there was nothing but the chilly wind and silence surrounding them. Louis clenched the bags in his fist and stared out onto the car park.

“The cab should be here any minute,” Harry said, almost inaudible, after another minute of silence. Louis nodded.

They stood like that, neither one speaking, neither one looking at the other, until the cab arrived. They stepped inside and sat down in opposite ends. Louis told the driver where they were heading but remained silent the rest of the drive, just looking at the people and buildings outside his window.

Once they had arrived, Louis paid the driver and they entered the huge hotel, still in silence. Louis kept his gaze firmly ahead of him, but he could feel Harry occasionally sneaking glances at him.

The elevator ride was the worst. Normally, they would just instinctively stand next to each other, but they were now at separate ends, having as much space between them as possible. It was like Louis could physically reach out and touch the thick tension with his fingers. He remained quiet though, and as did Harry.

When they entered their own room, Louis was a mixture of wanting to drown himself in a bathtub and wanting to set himself on fire. Figuring he should probably do neither of those things, he shoved Harry’s jacket off him and threw it on the ground before walking over to the bed and started smothering himself in a pillow. Seconds later, he felt a bounce on the bed and hand stroking him up and down his back.

“It’s okay,” he heard Harry’s deep voice saying consolingly.

And, like. Louis was positively angry at that point. Because he didn’t need any consoling, he didn’t need anyone cheering him up, he didn’t need anyone’s sympathy, he really didn’t need anyone’s pity and he did most, absolutely, not need anyone fucking stroking him on the back. He was not upset, _he was fine._ He did not need anyone’s, not Liam or Niall’s, not his family’s, not his friends’, not his management’s, and certainly not _Harry’s_ , help. _He was fine._

He smacked Harry’s hand away and pushed himself up on his elbows, and looked directly at Harry for the first time of what seemed like hours.

“What part of ‘I’m fine’, is it that you don’t get?” Louis hissed, his eyes narrow.

Harry adjusted himself on the bed, and looked at Louis impatiently. “And what part of ‘you’re not fine, you can quit lying’, is it that you don’t get?”

Louis scuffed. “And how the fuck would you know that?”

Harry was silent for a while, just looking at Louis carefully, before answering, in a wary voice. “It’s pretty obvious.”

“Well, I’m fine, so fuck you.” Louis started fidgeting with his hands in his lap.

Harry took a deep breath. “Sure you are.”

“Could you stop pretending like you know how I’m feeling better than I do?”

“Think you’re the one who’s pretending here.”

Louis went completely still, looking down on his hands. “Honestly, if you’re going to be like this then you might as well leave.”

Shrugging nonchalantly, Harry replied, “Kick me out then.”

Louis looked up at Harry, who also sat looking at anything but Louis. Suddenly, Louis went ice cold, and he could feel his eyes prickle.

_He was fine._

“Okay.” His voice broke. “Leave.”

There was a moment of silence before Harry turned his head and looked at Louis cautiously. “I’m not going to.”

Louis let out a breath he didn’t realise he’d been holding.

“Fine. Whatever. Watch me care.”

“You do care, so I don’t understand why keep insisting that you don’t.”

“I don’t.”

“You do.”

“Nope.”

“Yup.”

Louis didn’t know what more to say, so he only shrugged and avoided Harry’s gaze.

“I just don’t get why you’re letting this get to you so much.” Harry said after a long silence.

Louis still didn’t answer, only staring mindlessly off into the air.

“I mean, everything they said was just a big, bunch of bullshit.”

Was it really? Louis remained quiet.

This time, Harry took a hold on his chin, forcing Louis to meet his eyes. “You do agree that it was all just a bunch of bullshit, don’t you, Louis?”

Swallowing, Louis still didn’t say anything. His heart was beating quickly.

“Louis?” Harry’s voice was more forceful now, as he glared intently into Louis’ eyes. “I want to hear you say it was just a bunch of bullshit.”

Louis opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He settled with a small shrug.

Harry furrowed his eyebrows together in confusion, and let go of Louis’ chin. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Louis voice was small, “that maybe there was some truth to it?”

Harry still had his adorable confused, kitten look on his face. “No, it wasn’t.”

Louis shrugged again. For some reason, he wasn’t really angry anymore, just tired. Just very, very tired. He could feel Harry grabbing his hand, and squeezing it soothingly.

“There really wasn’t, Lou. None.”

Louis didn’t break free from Harry’s touch. “I just don’t think you understand, Harry.”

“You’re right.” Harry was sitting so close, Louis could feel the heat radiating from his body, “I don’t understand. Not at all. I wish you would explain it to me.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

Harry squeezed his hand again. “Try.”

“Well, okay. It’s like,” Louis took a deep breath, wondering how the hell he would explain it to Harry when he could barely explain it to himself, “like, being famous is really weird, you know?”

Harry nodded, wide eyed, clearly trying to encourage Louis to continue.

“And okay, like, you probably don’t know since you aren’t but. Okay. But, like, when you’re famous, you kind of become two people, if you know what I mean?”

Harry furrowed his eyebrows together, and shook his head slowly.

“Well, um, I mean, you are who you are. The one you were, the one you are at the moment, and the one you will always be, right? Regardless of whether or not you are famous. But then you are also the vision of who other people think you are?”

Harry nodded.

“Which, okay, it’s like that with everyone. Everyone has a disconcerted view who they in the eyes of others. But, like, when you’re famous,” Louis smiled weakly, “it’s like that, but times a million. I mean, people will like create blogs and stuff, based on their view of who they think you are, right? But not who you necessary might be.”

Again, Harry nodded.

Louis let out a short, self-conscious laugh. “I’m sorry, this is probably all over the place, and not making any sense, and-“

“No, it’s making sense,” Harry interrupted, squeezing his hand, “Please continue.”

“Right, well, okay, back on track, then.” Louis continued. “I just think it’s so scary, because people can get these fucked up opinions. And be, like, really sure of them. Like, I don’t think being famous necessarily changes who you are, but it multiples it. It’s like, if someone is generally nice and funny, people will just be like ‘oh, wow, that person is the best person on the planet, I love him so much’. But then, if you make one mistake, doesn’t matter what, people will just judge you immediately and start with the hate. Like, ‘oh, man, Louis Tomlinson did that, what a rude douchebag, he doesn’t deserve to be in One Direction’. Just, it could just be one normal thing, that if it had happened in normal life, people wouldn’t have thought it was a big deal, but if you’re famous, then it’s a _huge deal._ ”

“I get it,” Harry said quietly.

Louis nodded. “Yeah, well. The thing is that that I’m pretty scared of what other people think of me, which is bad, because I tend to fuck up a lot. I don’t mean to, just sometimes it just gets too much and I don’t know how to handle things. And people will just think these bad things, although they might not necessarily be true and it becomes almost like an evil circle.” Louis took a deep breath. “And even so, sometimes I kind of just wish people would just think bad things exclusively, because some other people just put you on a pedestal and think you’re so great, and I feel like they would just get inevitably disappointed if they got to know me in real life.”

Harry opened his mouth to speak, but Louis hurriedly continued, cutting him off.

“I mean, it’s like you are an object instead of a person, right, and people just don’t realise that. They think you’re going to be all perfect and somehow different from everyone else walking this planet. But truth is I have just as many flaws and imperfections as the next person. It’s like when people glamorize cities, how they think the grass is always greener on the other side. But then once you go, you realise that city was just as shitty as the hometown you came from.” Louis took another deep breath, and hoped he was at least making some sense. “That being said, I do think I weigh the band down with my constant worrying and overthinking, plus my sometimes bad behaviour which then becomes the biggest deal on the planet. So I really do wish I could compensate somehow, like being an excellent, one of a kind, singer. But that’s not really the case, and it sucks to have that confirmed. And especially by some stupid teenagers at Tesco.”

Harry stared at him, barely blinking, and Louis didn’t really know what more to say. He’d never revealed this to anyone else before, and being exposed like that made him dizzy and uncomfortable. He could feel a joke on the tip of his tongue, the need to laugh it all off as no big deal what he had just said, but he knew Harry wouldn’t have believed him anyway.

Stroking his hand, Harry started to speak. “Well, okay,” he coughed, “First of all, I get it. I really do.”

Louis smiled. “But?”

“But,” Harry drawled, “I don’t agree with all of it. I get that you overthink, or whatever, but why you should feel the need to compensate for anything, is beyond me.”

“I just-“

“No, let me finish.” Harry interrupted. “I think what’s going on here is that you, for some reason, want to put yourself down. I mean, I am one hundred percent sure that if I were to talk to Niall and Liam, they wouldn’t have said anything about to being below them of anything. They shouldn’t, because it’s ridiculous.”

“But maybe-“

“Not done, Lou,” Harry cut him off again. “Just saying, it’s like what you said yourself, everyone has flaws and imperfections just like you. Just because you’re famous doesn’t mean you should feel bad about having them, about not being one hundred perfect. The fact that you do, I think, shows a flaw in our society, not in you.”

Louis remained quiet, unsure whether Harry was finished or not.

Surprisingly, Harry chuckled. “I mean, I burned a muffin once, so there’s that.”

Despite himself, Louis chuckled. “Poor muffin.”

“I know.” Harry said, “But back to subject. I mean, honestly, out of all the things I thought I you would say, that wasn’t it. Because I actually do think you are a one of a kind, excellent singer. And I think it’s so obvious that you are, that I didn’t really consider that an option.”

“Um,” Louis started. He wasn’t sure what to say.

“Like, really,” Harry rambled on, “to be honest, I thought you’d be more offended by the gay-stuff, because personally, nothing triggers me more than homophobia.”

“Yeah,” Louis said quietly.

“I feel like, it’s absolutely none of their business, so why do they care?”

“Well, that’s exactly what I was saying earlier. People make it their own business.” Louis swallowed. “And when you do what I do for a living, people will just make assumptions regardless of what you do.”

Harry nodded.

“And it just makes me feel so uncomfortable,” Louis looked into Harry’s big, green eyes, who watched him intently, as always, “because it is the most personal part of my life. The most intimate, and it isn’t even up to me.” Louis sighed. “Sometimes I just feel like I’m not cut out to do this whole “famous” thing.”

Harry never removed his gaze. There was a long silence before Harry finally spoke.

“Basically what you’re saying is that you don’t like not being in control of your own life.”

Louis didn’t say anything, but it wasn’t like he wasn’t painfully aware that he was a control freak.

Suddenly, Harry jumped off the bed and stood up, with his hands on his hips. “I know exactly what we should do.”

Louis frowned. “Yeah? And what’s that?”

“You’ll see.” Harry smirked.

When Louis didn’t answer, but only looked at Harry suspiciously, he reached out his hand for Louis to take.

“Come on,” he said, his eyes shining. “Trust me.”

Louis swallowed, but grabbed his hand.

 

xx

 

“I’m not too sure about this, Harry.”

“Really, you have nothing to worry about. I’ve googled it and it’s completely safe and everyone recommends it.”

“Well, that’s not really what I’m worried about.”

“Come on, Lou, it’ll be fun.”

“For you maybe, but I imagine it will be only painful for me.”

“Yeah, well, with that attitude.”

“I mean, I don’t mind other people doing it. It just isn’t something I’m personally interested in.”

“Why not? You totally have the body for it.”

“What’s that even supposed to mean?”

“It means you just gotta trust me.”

Louis sighed. He did not sign up for this shit.

He turned his gaze away from Harry and to the small, scary, intimidating, graffiti sprayed building in front of him.

“Harry, for the last time, I’m not getting a fucking tattoo.”

Harry pouted. “But I think it would be good for you.”

Again, Louis sighed. “How would getting ink permanently stuck to my skin be in any way good for me? It won’t even look good.”

“Well, first of all, yes, it will look good. I mean, _come on._ ”

Louis rolled his eyes.

“Second of all, I don’t think it’s the ink being important here, it’s what it represents.”

Louis snorted and cocked an eyebrow. “What it represents?”

“Yes, Louis, what it represents,” Harry repeated. “Because what you said earlier is that you don’t like not being in control of you own life. You don’t like it when people make false assumption of you and you can’t change it. So, I figured, what better way is there to get in control of your own body than getting a tattoo?” When Louis only frowned, Harry evaluated. “I mean, you can’t really control what other people think of you. That’s impossible. The only thing you can really control is your own body, and what you do with it. Nobody else can mark your body besides you. Only you, and no one else. So, yeah, I think getting a tattoo is a good representation for you belonging to you only, and not being an object.”

Louis was speechless. One might have thought Harry had thought this through for ages, like he knew what Louis was going to tell him before he even did. “I’m still not too sure,” he admitted hesitantly.

“Okay, well,” Harry shrugged and began walking towards the entrance, leaving Louis to stand alone, staring incredulously at his back.

“Harry,” he said, but no response.

“Haz?”

“Hazza?”

“Hazzie?”

Finally, Harry stopped and turned around, smirking. “Calling me cute nicknames won’t get you anywhere.”

“First of all, it will get me everywhere,” Louis countered, “Second of all, I don’t know, I’m still not too sure about this. Just seems like one of those things you ought to think through.”

Harry put his hands in his pockets. “Just to be clear, I’m not trying to push you into anything. It has to be you making the decision to get a tattoo anyway, if it’s going to be a good representation.”

“Okay.”

“That being said, I still want one, so.” Harry gestured his head to the building.

“Oh,” Louis said surprised, and hurried over to Harry, “Sorry, didn’t realised you wanted one.”

Harry smirked. “Why do you think I’ve googled the place?”

Louis only shrugged.

They entered the small building, and Louis was immediately captivated by the fascinated walls, showing off an endless amount of drawings and sketches. Some of them were quite breathtakingly well painted. At first sight, Louis thought they were the only costumers there, but he soon noticed a quite old man, back in the store getting something tattooed on his shoulder. When the tattoo artist noticed Harry and Louis had entered, she turned around and smiled at them.

“Hello, welcome,” she said.

Harry beamed at her. “Hi!”

Louis turned around and started inspecting the wall more carefully, spellbound by its appeal. He could hear Harry and the girl chatting behind him.

“So, what can I do for you?”

“I want to get a tattoo.”

“Do you know what of? Do you have a sketch with you?”

“Um, no sketch, but I know. Sort of. I leave the details to you.”

“Well, I’ll get right to you then, once I’m done here. Shouldn’t take too long.”

“No rush.”

Louis walked away from and Harry and stepped even closer to the wall, where he started touching one drawing gently with his fingers.

“What are you looking at?” Harry asked.

Removing his fingers from the painting, Louis turned to face Harry who was looking at him attentively. “It’s a compass.”

Surprisingly, Harry positively glowed at that. “No way!”

“What do you mean?”

Harry put a hand to his chest. “Because I’m getting a boat!”

“Oh.”

Louis turned to inspect the painting again, his brows furrowed in concentration. After a moment or two of continuous staring, he could feel a hand on his shoulder and a warm body behind him.

“Do you like it?” Harry asked, his mouth close to Louis’ ear.

“Well, yeah,” Louis said, relaxing into the touch, “I do. Not to copy what you said, but I think it would be a good representation, or whatever, of me always finding my way back.”

There was a moment of silence, in which Louis continued to stare at the drawing in front of him. Suddenly, he felt Harry planting a gentle kiss to his left cheek.

“I think it’s perfect.”

Louis smiled, his cheeks warm.

They were broken out of their private world, when the tattoo artist called out to Louis. “Are you getting a tattoo as well?”

Not knowing the answer to that, Louis turned around and gave her a puzzled look. Was he? “Um,”

“Because if you are, my colleague is in the stockroom and I know he’s free at the moment.”

“Um. Well.” Louis scratched the back of his neck. He wasn’t sure why the idea didn’t repulse him as much anymore. This was so unlike him.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” Harry said behind him. Louis turned around and watched Harry shrug. “I mean, refusing to get a tattoo is also a way of getting in control of your own body. It could be a good representation, too.”

Louis considered this. “It wouldn’t be as powerful, though.”

“Maybe not,” Harry agreed. “But it’s all up to you.”

Louis sighed. Making decisions made him twitchy and uneasy. He looked at the sketch again.

“Would it even look good?”

“It would, yeah.”

Louis remained unconvinced.

Harry put a hand on his shoulder, and whispered in his ear, “Just imagine walking on stage tomorrow with a brand new tattoo. Imagine what everyone will think. I can guarantee you that every girl’s panties will just drop to the floor. Not that they wouldn’t have anyway, but still.” Harry’s voice deepened. “Know mine will.”

Louis couldn’t help the smirk on his face. “You’re going to wear panties?”

“I would if you asked me to.”

Louis turned his head around and smiled, shaking his head disbelievingly.

“But really, Lou, it’ll look good,” Harry said with a glint in his eyes, making Louis’ heart beat that much faster, “Trust me.”

Releasing a heavy breath, Louis removed himself from Harry’s grip and walked over to the tattoo artist who was almost finished now.

“Where did you say your colleague was again?”

 

xx

 

Louis wasn’t really sure how he felt, nor how he should feel for that matter. There was some pain on his right arm but it was outweighed by the adrenaline which made him want to jump up and down in excitement. They had left the tattoo shop about an hour ago, when it was properly dark outside. Louis still wasn’t sure if the last four hours had really happened or if it had all just been a dream.

“You sure you’re not in pain?” Harry asked, sitting in front of him, eating a box of take away Thai food.

Louis giggled, accidentally making some noodles fall out of his mouth and down to the floor. “Oops,” he said sheepish and put them back into the box. He looked at Harry and grinned. “Nope, no pain. I’m good.”

Harry smiled. “That makes me happy.”

“What about you, Curly? No pain?”

“None what so ever.”

“I’m glad.”

Louis stopped eating and watched smiling as Harry gracelessly tried to take the rice out of the box. He had insisted on using chopsticks, looking offended when Louis had told him they had forks in the drawer. And this was the result. Half of the rice fell back into the box, and Harry had to bend his head down to get what was left on the sticks. Louis rolled his eyes, but he got a warm feeling in his entire body.

Putting his own chopsticks back into the box, he crawled forward and put a hand of Harry’s right cheek, pressing a gentle kiss on the square of Harry’s lips, where he could taste the rice. “Thank you.”

Harry frowned when Louis went back. “What for?”

Louis shrugged. He didn’t really know the answer to that. All he knew was that he just wanted to kiss Harry countless of times, thanking him a million times over. “I don’t know. Nothing. Everything.”

Harry got his adorable, confused kitten look on his face again. “Well, okay. You’re welcome, I guess.” He went back to feebly trying to get rice out of his bow. “Anything for you.”

It was such a fleeting comment, that Louis hardly paid attention to it. But he grinned when he ate his noodles, because somehow, it didn’t strike him as impossible. Maybe he actually would have done anything for Louis.

When they were done, Louis leaned back against the bed and closed his eyes. Thai food had a way of calming him. Suddenly, he felt Harry stroking a hand over the bandage of his tattoo. Louis opened his eyes, finding Harry staring down at the bandage, smiling smugly.

“It’ll look so hot,” he said.

Louis chuckled. “Yeah, you’ve said that a couple of times.”

“Because it’s true.” Grinning, Harry looked up at Louis. “Can’t believe I convinced you to get a tattoo. Now you won’t be able to look at it without thinking of me.”

“Is that so?” Louis cocked an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” Harry said, moving his face into Louis’ neck, where he started sucking, “I wish it wasn’t bandaged so I could suck love bites all over it.”

Louis’ breathing quickened. “I do like the sound of that.”

Harry was practically straddling him now. “Would you like that?”

“Yeah,” Louis panted.

Harry stopped sucking and turned to look him deep in the eyes, his eyes gentle. “Will you let me take care of you?”

Louis nodded carefully, not really sure what Harry what asking for exactly. As an answer, Harry smiled and leaned forward to press his full lips against Louis’. Louis opened his mouth slightly, giving him better access, and could taste the sweet taste of rice, coke and something that was distinctively Harry, which was also probably the best taste in the world.

Harry put a hand to Louis’ cheek and added some force, deepening the kiss further. He did it with such intent, Louis was sure he was trying to convey a message. Louis put his hands on Harry’s broad back and pulled him even closer, as Harry made a content noise. Suddenly, Harry removed his lips and put his hands on Louis’ arse, picking him up and putting him on the bed. Louis scoffed.

“I can move myself, you know.”

“Yeah, but you said you’d let me take care of you, so that’s what I’m doing.”

“Oh, okay.” Louis said. “That’s what you meant.”

Harry nodded and pressed Louis down on the bed, following closely. He started kissing him again, which Louis had no problem with, and his hands touched as much skin he could manage under Louis’ shirt. When he stopped, he pulled back and looked Louis deep in the eyes.

“Remove your shirt.”

Doing as he was told, Louis quickly pulled it off and threw it on the ground. Harry immediately put his hands on his bare skin again, and started kissing him all over. Louis relaxed, and enjoyed the sensation of being so appreciated, and not really having to do anything in return other than to just be there. When Harry stopped, he looked up at Louis, his eyes blown and innocent, as if Louis was the one making the effort here. It was a look that could only be described as pure adoration.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” Harry said breathlessly.

Louis blushed. “Stop it.”

“But, like, really, it’s true,” Harry argued as he continued appreciating his body with his mouth, “Wish I could do this every day of forever.”

Louis hummed contently, that wasn’t really anything he’d object to.

Harry stopped at the waistband of his trousers, and started unzipping them. Louis looked down, and caught sight of Harry’s determined look. He pulled the trousers all the way down, before pressing a gentle kiss on the top of Louis’ boxers, which made Louis smirk. He then kissed the insides of Louis’ thighs, before looking up again, while stroking them with his hands. Seeing Harry in between his legs like that certainly did something to Louis’ arousal.

“I like your legs,” Harry said matter of factly.

“Um, thanks,” Louis replied awkwardly.

Harry nodded and patted the thighs once more before crawling up a bit further again. Louis was anxiously waiting for the point where he would feel uncomfortable being practically naked, while Harry was still fully dressed, but it never came. There just was something oddly relaxing about Harry and his presence.

“Hey, Lou?”

“Yeah?”

Harry rested his head against Louis’ stomach. “Okay, don’t get me wrong, you know I think you’re brilliant and all that, but you said something really stupid earlier.”

Louis scoffed. “Oh, really?”

“Yeah, you did,” Harry instantly looked up at Louis, with such a pure, honest expression it made Louis catch his breath, “You said you didn’t want people who had positive opinions of you to meet you in real life, because you thought they’d inevitably get disappointed.”

Louis swallowed. He did recall saying something like that. It was a thought which had been running through his mind constantly on repeat these last couple of months. “So?”

“So, that was a bit stupid of you,” Harry said, “Because I can distinctively recall really liking you before I met you, and I am one hundred percent sure I like you more now.”

Louis felt out of breath. “Um. Really?”

“Definitely.”

Louis’ eyes were wide, as he stared at the younger boy on top of him. He smiled faintly. “Honestly, I have no idea what I’ve done in my past, present or future life to deserve you.” Louis swallowed. “Must have been something really great.”

“Probably, yeah,” Harry whispered against his stomach, “I think you were just being you.”

Louis’ eyes were beginning to water up. This was too much. Just too much. He let out a choked chuckle. “Could you, like, stop?”

Grinning, Harry crept forward so they were face to face, only inches away. “No. Could you stop?”

“What have I done?”

“I dunno. What have _I_ done?”

Louis pouted. “You’re being too nice. I don’t deserve it.”

Frowning, Harry said, “I don’t think you were listening to what I was saying earlier.”

“No, I heard you.”

“Well, then I want you to repeat after me,” Harry suddenly looked very determined, “’Me, Louis Tomlinson, am a good person who deserves everything good in life. A happy Louis makes a happy Harry which makes a happy everything. And I deserve to be happy.’”

Louis raised an eyebrow. “There’s no way in hell I’m ever saying that.”

“No, you have to say it!” Harry laughed. “Come on!”

Louis shook his head forcefully.

“You have to!” Harry made his best attempt at a scowl. “If you don’t, I’m leaving this bed.”

Louis narrowed his eyes. “Is that a threat?”

“That, my good friend, is a promise.”

They stared intently at one another for a moment, before Louis finally cracked a smile.

“I’m sorry, I’m still not saying that.”

“Well, then,” Harry said casually and started removing himself from Louis.

“No!” Louis immediately exclaimed, and grabbed a hold on Harry, refusing him to go anywhere. “Won’t let you.”

Harry laughed. “Well, you’ll have to say it then.”

Louis let go of Harry and sighed dramatically. “ _Fine._ Ugh, you’re so demanding.”

“Just want what’s best for you. Now say it.”

Louis groaned. “Ugh, what was it again, um-”

“Me, Louis -“ Harry helped.

“Okay, um. Me, Louis Tomlinson, am a good person who deserves good things. Um.”

“A happy Louis –“

“A happy Louis makes a happy Harry which makes a happy everything.”

Harry nodded encouraging, clearly trying very hard not to start beaming like an idiot. Louis took a deep breath before saying the last part.

“And I deserve to be happy.”

Harry beamed like an idiot. “Well done.” He said as if Louis was a five year old who had just finished his homework.

Louis rolled his eyes. “Never doing that ever again.”

“Once is enough,” Harry said. His eyes suddenly darkened, and he got a smug look on his face. “I think you deserve some kind of reward for that, actually.”

Louis was suddenly very much reminded of his hard on. “Yeah?”

Harry removed his own shirt and threw it on the ground next to Louis’. “Yeah.”

Slowly, Harry went down to Louis’ crotch and removed the pants. Louis inhaled a deep breath, anticipating what would come. The last four times Harry had given him a blowjob had been amazing, so he expected nothing less this time. (“A blowjob a day, keeps the doctors away” was apparently Harry’s motto in life. Frankly, Louis had heard worse mottos.)

“Beautiful, as always,” Harry complimented, when Louis’ dick popped free and he instantly started stroking it lazily.

“Teasing, as always,” Louis countered.

“Impatient, as always,” Harry smirked. He picked it up and licked a stripe, and _honestly._ Louis couldn’t handle how content he looked, as if he was having the time of his life pleasing Louis like this. Like his entire day, or life rather, had just been leading up to the moment when he finally got to suck Louis’ dick. Like he had just been counting down the minutes for him to finally get down to business. Louis braced himself, gripping the mattress as Harry put the entire length into his obscene mouth.

“God, you really live for this, don’t you,” Louis gasped.

Harry nodded slowly, never loosing focus, but his eyes were wide with determination and honesty.

“You’re an angel sent from heaven, I hope you know that.”

Harry stopped his action for a moment to giggle, and Louis could have sworn he purred.

Louis put his hands in Harry’s curly hair instead. “So good, Harry, so good.”

Harry barely reacted, but Louis could see the small smile on his lips.

They kept it up for a while, Harry continuing to suck Louis’ dick while Louis showered him with compliments and encouragements which only made Harry work harder. It was quite surprising for Louis when Harry stopped, and looked up at him, his lips red and swollen. There was a thin layer of sweat covering his forehead. If Harry looked this trashed, Louis did not want to know what he looked like.

“Hey, um, can I ask you something?” Harry asked.

“Yeah, of course,” Louis panted.

“Um,” Harry scratched the back of his neck, his brows furrowed, looking at Louis hesitantly. “Have you ever, um, bottomed?”

Louis stilled. Out of all the things he was expecting, that wasn’t on the list. Harry was watching at him attentively, waiting for a reaction.

“Um,” his hands fell out of Harry’s hair, “no?”

Harry nodded, as if he’d been expecting that answer. “Okay. Why not?”

“Well, I –“Truthfully, Louis hadn’t given it as much thought. It just wasn’t something that came natural for him. “I don’t know, really.”

“Is it because you like being the one in control?”

Harry’s suggestion took Louis by surprise. Mostly because it clicked. It made sense. Like, yes. That was actually probably the reason.

“That might be it, yeah.” Louis quickly added, chuckling, “Are you going to say some deep shit about my sex preferences being a metaphor for my life, or something?”

Harry smiled sheepish. “Maybe,” he confessed. “I just feel like it would be good for you to let go of some control, and like, trust someone else. You don’t always have to be the one taking care of things.”

Louis looked at Harry considering. “Are you saying you want to top?”

“Maybe I am, yeah,” Harry said, stroking Louis’ arm softly, where his tattoo was being hidden beneath bandage, “Think it’d be good for you.”

Louis was silent.

“Plus, I really like the idea of being inside you.” Harry continued, “I mean. _Wow._ ”

Smiling slightly, Louis pondered it. He wasn’t against the idea in theory, but practically, it made him dizzy and uncomfortable just thinking about it.

“I want to,” Louis admitted weakly, “but, I don’t know. It’s a bit scary.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t do it then. I don’t want you to do something you’re uncomfortable with.”

“No, I want to.” Louis argued, although his hands were trembling slightly. “I want you to be inside of me too.”

Harry removed his gaze from Louis’ arm, and instead looked him deep in the eyes, cupping his face.

“Do you trust me?”

Louis looked at him, his eyes gentle and patient and could feel himself relaxing immediately. The answer was really painfully obvious.

“Yes.”

Harry smiled, before leaning forward to press a tender kiss on Louis’ lips. “Okay. Then let me take care of you.”

Louis hummed in response. Harry removed himself off Louis and started tearing off the same ridiculously tight, black trousers he’d been wearing every single day since Louis had met him. Louis waited in silence, but could feel his body beginning to tremble in anticipation of what would come next as Harry sat down naked on his knees in between his legs. Was he really ready for this? His breathing began speeding up, but not in the same way it had earlier when Harry had been in almost the same position.

“Relax,” Harry whispered, and stroked the sides of Louis’ thighs.

“I’m sorry,” said Louis, wishing his body would just stop freaking out. Objectively, he knew he had nothing to worry about, so why was he reacting like this?

“Don’t apologize,” Harry pressed a kiss Louis’ right thigh, “Just let me know if you don’t want to do this. I’ll stop. It’ll be fine.”

“No, I want to,” Louis quickly argued, closing his eyes. He could do this.

“Okay.”

He could feel Harry separating his legs, and bending them with the knees up. Louis swallowed, and focused on his breathing.

“Have you ever fingered yourself?”

“Well, yeah, but.” Louis didn’t finished the sentence.

“But you’ve never had anyone else doing it for you?”

“Exactly.”

Harry pressed two kisses on both his legs. “I’ll be careful. I promise.”

Keeping his eyes closed, Louis could hear Harry walking over to the drawer and fetching something, presumably lube and a condom, before returning, and instantly beginning to ravish Louis’ thighs again.

“Did I mention I love your legs?”

“I do believe you mentioned that, yes.”

“Can’t say it too many times.”

Louis hummed and suddenly heard the lube being opened and immediately stiffened.

“Going to add one finger now, okay, sweetheart? Are you ready?”

“Y-yeah,” Louis stuttered. He prepared himself for it, but instead, he could hear Harry moving.

“Hey, Lou, open your eyes.”

Doing as he was told, Louis saw Harry straight in front of him. He gulped. “Yes?”

“If we are going to do this, I need you to relax. Can you do that?”

Louis nodded, but his palms were still sweating and he felt stiff all over.

“Breath in through your nose, and out through your mouth,” Harry instructed, and did it himself after, taking a long, heavy breath. Louis followed his lead. “Good. Very good. Now, keep your eyes open and look at me the whole time, alright?”

“Yeah.”

Harry crawled back, and started applying lube to his finger, as Louis watched, breathing in through his nose, and out through his mouth. “Going to add one finger now. You alright, babe?”

Not trusting his voice, Louis only nodded.

“Here we go.”

Despite the heads up, the soft touch still caught Louis by surprise. His hips jumped slightly in response and Harry immediately shushed him. “There, there, it’s okay. Just relax. Keep your eyes on me. It’s fine.”

Louis breathed in through his nose, and out through his mouth, keeping his eyes fixed on Harry. “Y-yeah.”

“I would never hurt you, you know that.”

Louis managed a smile. “I know.”

Harry’s finger deepened in Louis’ hole, causing him to pull another haste breath. Concerned, Harry looked him carefully in the eyes. “You good?”

“Mhm.”

“You’ll enjoy it more if you relax.”

Louis fought back a snort, because, _well._ That’s easier said than done. Harry added more force to the finger, and Louis could feel himself getting slowly stretched out. When Harry politely asked if he was ready for another finger, Louis hesitantly nodded while repeating in his head; breathe in through your nose, and out through your mouth. Keep your eyes on Harry. Trust Harry.

Louis couldn’t deny that it hurt quite a bit when he did, more than he had anticipated, but he stayed focused on his breathing and tried to enjoy the thrilling sensation of having Harry taking care of him. It was worth the pain. He held the whine inside of him, not wanting to make Harry worried. However, after going at it for a while, Louis’ breathing became quite irregular, panting uncontrollably, despite his attempts of taking even, deep breaths.

“Perhaps you could add another finger now,” Louis gasped.

Harry smirked, “Are you starting to enjoy it?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

After some more reassurance that he was fine and would manage, Harry obliged and added another finger, and things got urgent from there on. Instead of Harry telling him to relax, it was Louis telling him to go deeper.

“Are you sure you can handle it? I don’t want you to –“

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Louis said. It was still pretty painful but he blocked that out. “Just. More.”

“You’re doing so well, Lou, real proud of you.”

Louis was sort of reeking in sweat by then. “Pretty sure you’re the one who’s doing well, but thank you.”

“Maybe we both are.”

Louis nodded. It felt as if his entire body had gone numb, the only part existing was where Harry was touching him, where he was hypersensitive. “I think I’m ready.”

Harry’s fingers stopped. “You sure? I don’t want you to jump into anything.”

“Well, I mean, I won’t be able to walk tomorrow, but whatever. It’s not like a have an important show or anything which requires me to move.”

Harry’s eyebrows shot up, panic flaring in his eyes. “Shit, I totally forgot about that! I’m so sorry.”

“Not your fault.” Louis said. “Besides, there’s no way I’m quitting now.”

Harry nodded and removed his fingers, and Louis immediately missed the touch. Shifting slightly, Louis watched as Harry started pumping his own cock up and down, and Louis swallowed at the sight. Because that thing was huge. Obviously, this wasn’t the first time Louis had seen Harry’s cock hard in front of him, but knowing it was going to get inside of him added another perspective to it. Previously it had just been hot; now it was hot and intimidating. Harry’s cock was intimidating. As if Harry had some sixth sense in bed where could feel Louis working himself up again, he moved so was looming over Louis before closed the gap between them, kissing him gently.

“You’ll be fine, honey, trust me.”

“But you’re so big,” wailed Louis, sounding pathetic.

Harry, that bastard, looked smug. “I know.” He kissed Louis stubble once. “You’ll manage, though.”

Louis wished he was as certain as Harry appeared to be. But there was no going back now. If he was going to die, goddamn it, he was going to die with Harry’s absurdly large dick inside of him. Is there a more noble way to die than that, really?

“Okay,” Harry said, and adjusted himself, and Louis legs so they were draped around him. Louis tried to relax, he really did, but it was hard when he saw Harry putting on a condom and adding lube. He looked at Louis. “Are you ready?”

“Yes.”

“Do you trust me?”

Louis looked into Harry’s deep green eyes, while breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth. Just a look from him made Louis instantly more at ease.

“I trust you.”

And just like that, Harry took his time pushing himself carefully into Louis, who took a sharp inhale of air. Harry put his hands on Louis hips, either to steady Louis, or himself, Louis wasn’t sure. When he was fully in, he remained still, unmoving, and Louis didn’t think he could manage to speak even if he’d tried. Even Harry seemed dazed out, his pupils blown wide, and his mouth hanging open. His fringe was glued to his forehead.

“Oh my god,” he muttered almost inaudible, his eyes staring out into the air mindlessly, as if he was having an out of body experience. It then appeared as if he remembered something, and he looked alarmed at Louis. “Are you okay?”

Was Louis okay? Harry felt every bit as big as he’d thought, and the fullness caused both an intensely mind-blowingly sensation in Louis, at the same time as it was aching. In the end, Louis nodded, because as much as this was frightening and new, he was much too far gone to stop.

“Yeah. Just move. Carefully.”

“Will do.”

Doing as he was told, Harry made slow, deliberate moves with his hips. His hands were starting to shake faintly, almost not enough to notice, but Louis could tell it was hard for him to keep this slow pace. Even so, his face had a look of untainted persistence and focus, as if he would not for the sake of the world go any faster.

“You can go faster, it’s fine.”

Harry shook his head unwavering. “Don’t want you to get hurt.”

“No, Harry, I want you to go faster. Please.”

As if he was determining whether or not Louis was telling the truth, Harry studied his face cautiously before he started picking up his pace, pushing in and out of Louis a bit faster. At once, all Louis could hear was the unmistakable sound of Harry panting above him and the only thing he could feel was the warmth in his body. If felt as if Louis’ entire body was on fire, like he was big pile of endless energy just begging for release.

“Yeah, Haz, that’s it. That’s fucking it. Holy shit.”

Harry picked up the pace even more, pushing in and out of him vigorously. And if Harry had been counting down the minutes for him to give Louis a blowjob, then this is what Louis had been counting down the minutes for. He just hadn’t been aware of it before. But they just fit. Like two pieces of a puzzle. They just fit.

“Hey, Lou, did I mention that I love-“

“That you love my legs?” Louis finished for him, sweat dripping down from his forehead. “Yeah, yeah, you mentioned that.”

“No, that’s not what I was going to say,” Harry panted. “I was going to say that I love your body.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. It’s just, I don’t know, perfect for this.” Harry examined his entire body, taking a deep breath. “Perfect for anything.”

“Shut up.”

“You love it.”

Louis smiled. There was really do denying that. “We fit, don’t we?”

Grinning widely, Harry looked at him, his eyes shining. “Yeah. We fit.”

Louis lost track of time after that. Harry found the right angle and the right rhythm, making Louis shamelessly cry out in pleasure more times than one. When he was close, he told Harry as much, and he immediately grabbed his dick and started stroking it languidly. Louis put his hand under his chin and dragged him up to meet him in an urgent kiss which was both wet and sluggish, but no one seemed to mind. When Harry pulled away, Louis knew he wasn’t going to last much longer.

“Hey, Lou, did I mention –“

“Honestly, if you give me one more goddamn compliment I’m going to,” Louis stopped, considering, “fuck, I don’t know what, but. Yeah, something. I’ll do something.”

Harry looked at him predatorily, and started picking up pace with his hips and his hand. Yeah, Louis was close. Louis was _really_ close. Harry leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

“Hey, Lou, did I mention that I think you’re the most beautiful person on the planet?”

It was if everything Louis had been carrying around with all day - the stress from practice, the hurt from the insults from the boys at Tesco, the pain from the tattoo, the thrill from doing something new, all came rushing through him all at once and he came in Harry’s palm, not even bothering trying to keep down the whimper which came along with it. That seemed to do it for Harry too, who came the instant after, burying his face in Louis’ neck, where he had sucked a love bite not too long ago.

They stayed like that, both coming down from their highs, neither one speaking. After gasping for air for what seemed like hours, Harry finally pulled himself out of Louis and slushed down next to him. Instinctively, Louis shuffled closer, and rested his head against Harry’s chest. He closed his eyes, and draped an arm around Harry’s stomach, not caring that they were both sticky with sweat and come.

“Hey, Haz?”

“Yeah?”

“Did I mention I’m really glad I met you?”

Harry didn’t say anything for a while, but Louis could feel him running his fingers through his hair, so he wasn’t too bothered.

“No,” Harry’s voice was small in the dark room, somehow quiet and loud at the same time, “but I’m happy you feel that way. I’m glad I met you too.”

Louis nuzzled into Harry chest, content. “Too bad we never got around to the baking, though.”

“We can do it another time, when we don’t have any tattoos distracting us.”

Yawning, Louis said, “Yeah.”

Harry continued to stroke through his sticky hair, and Louis kept smiling.

Maybe he was fine, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> raise your hand if you want a harry styles in your life 
> 
> *raises hand* *cries* *thanks you for reading* *acknowledges that the douchebags at tesco were idiots and i do not share their opinions in the slightest*


	16. Chapter 16

_Harry took a deep breath and time stopped. She stared right through him, through his body, everything was on the display for her ice blue, unrelenting and merciless eyes to see. Harry wanted to be strong, unaffected, but his hands were shaking and his eyelashes were so filled with water he could barely see her standing right in front of him. But he could feel it._

_“What were you even thinking?” Perrie asked._

_Harry shrugged. He didn’t know. He didn’t know where he was, why he was crying, what she was asking, what he should answer. Harry didn’t know anything._

_Perrie snorted. “You weren’t thinking at all, were you?”_

_“I –“_

_“Honestly, I just feel sorry for you.”_

_Harry wiped his eyes dry, and could see Perrie just a tiny bit better. He wished he hadn’t. Because she was smiling. Why was she smiling?_

_“It’s not like you actually thought I’d like you, did you?”_

_Harry's words got stuck in his throat. He couldn’t even deny anything._

_Perrie pouted. “Poor Harry, thought someone would care for him.” She laughed, a high pitched sound which cut straight through Harry’s stomach. “You’re deluded, I hope you realise that.”_

_Harry nodded, and could feel the saltwater on his lips. “I’m sorry.”_

_“I’m not the one you should be apologising to.”_

_“Then who?” Harry voice broke at the end, wrecked. He wanted to make this right, even though he didn’t know what he’d done wrong._

_Perrie stared at him for a long time before finally answering, her voice toneless. “Yourself.”_

_Harry closed his eyes, and when he reopened them, she wasn’t there. He was alone on a narrow bridge made out of bricks, and when he took a step forward, a long crack made its way through it. There was no railing, nothing to hold on to. Harry fell to his knees, and looked down at the fiercely uncontrollable water underneath him, hitting vigorously at shore. Harry took a deep breath, the bridge broke and he fell._

The bright morning light took Harry by surprise. He had to blink a couple of times in order to readjust his eyes. It actually felt as if he had had just gone for a cold bath, because his whole body was numb and drenched in sweat and the feeling of being suffocated was overwhelming. When his eyes were fully opened, the first thing he noticed was the familiar set of caramel brown hair, only inches away from his face.

“What –“Harry said, his voice rough from sleep. He shuffled slightly so he could take in the scene underneath him.

Basically, Louis was lying draped on top of him, holding onto his body for dear life, using his chest as a pillow. Which, okay, that would explain the numbness. And the sweat. Uhum. However, Harry needed two things. He needed water, and he needed air. And in order to attain these two things, he needed to move.

“Hey, Lou,” Harry said softly, nudging gently on his shoulder, “wakey, wakey. Time to get up.”

In response, Louis only made a small, disapproving sound and held on tighter.

“As lovely as this is, Loubear,” Harry said, this time massaging his hand in Louis’ hair, “I need to pee and open a window. There’s no air in this room.”

The room was absolutely silent for a little while, before Louis spoke for the first time, his eyes still stubbornly closed, “No.”

Harry chuckled. “No?”

Opening his eyes, Louis moved his head so he was facing Harry, his features sleepy “There’s air in the room. I’m alive and breathing,” Louis took two deep inhales of air, before looking at Harry pointedly, “See?” Closing his eyes again, he returned to his previous position. “There’s no reason to move. You can stay, it’s fine. We won’t die.”

Harry smiled weakly. “Well, dead or alive, I still need to pee, so.”

Louis patted him on the stomach. “You can keep it in. I believe in you.”

“Louis,” Harry said, as sternly as he could manage.

“Fine.” Releasing a heavy breath, Louis hauled himself off Harry. “The things I do for you.”

Once Harry was free to move, he stood up and stretched his arms. “I’ll be right back.”

When he walked away, he could hear Louis grumble, “You better.”

The first thing Harry did when he entered the bathroom was spray his face with cold water. The clear image of Perrie’s death stare and the wild sea which was threatening to eat him up whole was still painfully present, and he needed to get rid of it. His body was still slightly trembling, and he held on to the sink to compose himself. The part with the wooden bridge was nothing new, it was quite recurrent actually, but the Perrie-part was. Harry didn’t know what it meant, nor was he particularly curious about finding out. After taking a couple of heavy breaths, he looked himself in the mirror and could see the slightly maniac version of himself staring back. His cheeks were flushed and his hair wild. He blinked a couple of times, took a few more heavy breaths, before finally taking a piss and walking out of the room.

When he was out, he saw Louis sitting on the bed with his back against the wall, probably waiting for him to return. “You were right, the room is rather hot.” He said.

“Told you,” Harry said as he moved to open a window. It didn’t need much, since the air outside was so cool. After, he sat closely down next to Louis on the bed.

“What time is it?” Louis asked.

“Almost eight,” Harry replied, after looking at his phone, “When are you meeting up with the guys?”

“At eleven.”

“Right. Guess I’ll catch up with Zayn then.” Putting the phone down on the mattress, Harry turned his head to look at Louis. “Are you nervous?”

Louis smirked, and elbowed his shoulder playfully. “Not with my number one fan at front row.”

Immediately, Harry broke into a big grin. The perks of knowing star of the show. “I’ll make a sign and everything.”

“Better be a good one then. No, ‘let me suck your dick’, or anything. Been there, done that.”

Harry feigned offence. “Hey! You like my blowjobs.”

“Never said I didn’t, pal,” Louis said, patting Harry’s thigh, “Never said I didn’t.”

“Good,” Harry said, his eyes squinting, “Just because you’re like, rich and stuff, doesn’t mean you get to go all high maintenance on me.”

“High maintenance,” Louis scoffed, laughing, “I’m not high maintenance.”

“Yeah. And let’s keep it that way, shall we?”

“Absolutely,” Louis agreed, before taking one deep breath, “Now that’s settled, I fully expect you to cook me a five star breakfast, including pancakes, waffles of croissants – your choice, tea, freshly made juice, some yoghurt would be nice as well, and I would quite fancy –“

Picking up a pillow, Harry started hitting Louis with it, interrupting his rambling. “Twat!”

Giggling, Louis jerked away, waving his arms to protect himself. “Stop it!”

Lowering the pillow, Harry said, “If you stop being an idiot.”

“Hey! You like idiots.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.” Harry gave Louis a pointing look. “I distinctively do not recall having “idiots” as a preference on my match.com add.”

Louis snorted. “You have an account on match.com?”

Harry blushed. “I’ve never used it,” he said bashfully, looking down at his hands. “Besides, there’s nothing wrong in having one. It’s hard finding someone these days.”

“Aw,” Louis cooed, shuffling closer so he was positioned in Harry’s lap, his hands on Harry’s shoulder, “It is. I know.”

Putting his hands on Louis’ waist, Harry gave him a puzzled look. “You know, I can’t tell if you’re making fun of me or if you actually agree.”

Shrugging, Louis said, “Yeah. I get that a lot.”

Nodding, Harry accepted that as an answer, even though it didn’t actually answer his question. Like. At all. However, instead of commenting on it, he slid his hands further up Louis’ bare upper body, the same time as he himself shuffled so he was sitting upright, his face on inches away from Louis’. Seeming to understand the invitation, Louis moved closer and pressed his lips against his. It was a short, chaste kiss, but when Louis moved back he was smiling.

“So, hey, speaking of last night. I’m actually a bit sore.”

Harry froze. “Are you in pain?” Harry moved his hands slowly up and down Louis’ sides, carefully. “Oh shit, I’m so sorry. I should have been more careful.”

“No worries,” Louis said, seeming unfazed, “it just means you’ll have to make me breakfast, after all.”

Harry rolled his eyes before looking at Louis, who smiled so widely his eyes crinkled. His eyes were right blue in the clear morning light and they weren’t cold, or scary at all. They were turquoise like the Mediterranean, like the sea in the south of Spain, where Harry used go with his mum and Gemma when he was younger. They were warm, and inviting, and Harry wanted to swim in them.

“Okay. I’ll make you breakfast.”

 

xx

 

The sun was shining brightly on the sky when Harry arrived at the place where he was supposed to meet up with Zayn. Zayn had texted saying he’d be there any minute - ten minutes ago. Harry was just about to text, asking whether he’d be here soon, when he saw a familiar figure crossing his street. Walking forward, Harry saw that it was indeed Zayn coming his way, looking casually chic, with a cigarette in his mouth. Harry beamed.

“Zayn!” Harry exclaimed, in order to get Zayn’s attention.

Zayn looked around, before spotting Harry and yelling back, “Harry!”

Walking closer, Harry yelled, “How are you!?”

“Good!”

Harry stopped in front of him. “Great!”

Zayn smiled. “Why are we yelling?!”

Harry started jumping up and down, causing a couple of people around him to throw him a funny look. Something which Harry couldn’t have cared less about. “Because I’m so excited!” He took a hold on Zayn shoulders and started shaking him, making the cigarette fall out of his mouth. “Aren’t you excited?”

To Harry’s great delight, Zayn ignored the cigarette and also started jumping up and down with him, throwing his arms around. “I’m so excited!”

“Wiih!” People were definitely looking at them funnily now. “We are such dorks!”

“We are the biggest idiots on the planet!”

“I know!”

“We’re making an ass out of ourselves!”

“I know!”

“I love it!”

“Me too!”

Suddenly, Zayn stopped in his movement and started looking around himself cautiously, before turning to Harry again. “Okay, well, enough is enough. Let’s go inside.”

Harry froze too. “Yeah.”

“Let’s go.”

They entered a small café, which had a warm and cosy atmosphere. Before seating themselves somewhere, Harry ordered a caramel chai-latte, with a cinnamon bun to go with that, and Zayn got a black coffee and a scones. They got a seat next to a window, having a nice view of the square outside.

Harry blew on his beverage before taking a small sip of his hot, sweet drink; careful not to burn himself. “Mhm, tastes good.”

Zayn started peeling off pieces of his scones. “Nice.”

Putting down the drink again, Harry said, smiling widely, “Hey, remember the first time we met? At Starbucks?”

“Jeez, Harry, I don’t know,” Zayn furrowed his eyebrows together in fake confusion, “It was seven days ago, after all. Don’t know if I can recall that far back in time.”

“Shut up,” Harry murmured bashful, looking down at the table.

“But, yeah, I remember. Seems like so far away now, doesn’t it?”

Harry nodded. If he compared his life now to how it had been a week ago, it was remarkably different. And that one difference was Louis. “Can’t even believe it.”

Zayn suddenly got a really smug look on his face, and Harry knew what he was going to say before he even said it. “I did tell you right that –“

“That you got Liam’s phone number?” Harry finished for him.

“Yeah.”

“Jeez, Zayn, I don’t know,” Harry furrowed his eyebrows together in fake confusion, “You have only mentioned it about twenty times. I don’t know if my brain can remember things without continuous reminding.”

Zayn raised his eyebrows and nodded slowly. “Guess I deserved that.”

“Yeah, you did.”

“However,” Zayn drawled, “that was not what I was going to say.”

Harry raised an eyebrow. “So you aren’t going to say anything Liam related?”

Zayn coughed, and started picking at his scones again. “Never said that.”

“Just spit it out, Zayn.”

Slowly, Zayn’s face lit up, and he brought up his mobile. “I was just going to say that he texted me last night –“

“Ooooh,” Harry interfered.

“Yeah,” Zayn blushed slightly, obviously trying to contain his excitement, “and he asked if I wanted to catch up this weekend. Because apparently, they have some time off now after their show.”

“I see,” Harry smiled knowingly, “So, I’m guessing that means you’ll stay in London a while longer?”

Zayn shrugged. “I guess.”

“Cool.” Harry’s mind drifted off. He and Louis hadn’t really discussed what they’d do after tonight, but they would continue seeing each other, that much was obvious. Like, you just don’t go get matching tattoos (even though that was actually a coincidence. But Harry’s the one who convinced him to get one though, so it has to count as something!), have sex and go all “oh, Harry, I’m so glad I met you, let me use your body as a bed!” and then just stop seeing each other. Granted, Harry might be getting a bit carried away, given he spent the whole bus ride over to the café considering how their marriage would be. (Zayn would be the best man at their wedding, and they’d play so many sappy songs at their ceremony Louis would complain the whole time, but secretly enjoy it. And instead of getting actual rings, they would tattoo them on their fingers, so they’d never have to take them off. And they wouldn’t stop there, but they’d get a bunch of matching tattoos, at all places imaginable. When they were out shopping together, and fans would come up, they’d ask for photographs with both of them, and they could hold each other’s hands in the background. At Christmas, they would watch Love Actually, and Harry would sing “All I want for Christmas is Lou”. Uhum. Okay, Harry had admitted he had gotten a bit carried away. But he could play it cool. He could. Right.) “Cool,” Harry repeated, admittedly not really sure what Zayn had said in the first place.

Zayn smiled, as if he knew exactly what Harry was thinking about, “How’s it going for you and Louis?”

“Um,” play it cool, play it cool, play it cool, “like, yeah. It’s, um, going well. It’s heading in the right direction.”

“And what direction is that?”

“The, um,” Harry considered this as the raised his cup again to take a sip, “right one?”

Nodding, Zain seemed to process this information, as if Harry had said something valuable. “Yeah. I just –“ He also stopped to take a sip out of his coffee, his eyebrows furrowed together in deep thought.

“What?”

“I just,” Zayn shrugged, clearly struggling to find the right words, “I just I hope you know what you’re doing, is all.”

Putting the cup back down, Harry asked, “What do you mean?”

“What I mean is,” Zayn spoke slowly, ”that you cared about Louis so much before you even met him. It was actually a bit scary. Like, I remember last Saturday when we were sitting on that bench and you completely freaked out because you thought he’d leave and not remember you.”

“I didn’t freak out,” Harry grumbled, looking away.

“Close enough,” Zayn said. “What I’m trying to say is that if you cared about Louis so much back then, I can’t even imagine what’s going on through your mind right now.”

Harry continued to look away. “Right?”

“And I’m sure you have things under control,” Zayn quickly added. “I just. I just hope you know what you’re doing, is all.” When Harry looked at Zayn, he was smiling carefully. “Because I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

Harry nodded. So this was a classic “I don’t want to see you get hurt”-speech. He appreciated Zayn’s concern, he really did, but it was a bit uncalled for. He had things under control. He was cool. “Okay. But honestly, I have things under control.” He smiled. “It’s fine.”

“You sure?”

“ _Yes._ ”

Zayn remained hesitant, until he took a sip of his coffee, releasing a heavy breath. “If you say so, I believe you. “

“And I say so.”

Putting down his coffee, Zayn looked at Harry gravely. “Then I believe you.”

“Good.”

Harry took a bite off his muffin. Still chewing, he asked, “So, when are we going?”

A large smile broke out into Zayn’s face. “I think as soon as you’ve eaten your muffin.”

Harry ate as quickly as he could.

 

xx

 

Standing outside looking at the arena, Harry wasn’t sure why they’d hurried so much. There were a lot of people there already, but really, the show wouldn’t start until a couple of hours, and Zayn and Harry weren’t allowed backstage today like they had been the other days. Ultimately, Zayn and Harry ended up walking around aimlessly a few hours without any real destination. It was fun though. Nothing like a good walk to clear your mind and spirit.

When they returned, around 6, it was really crowded. One Direction merchandise was being sold in a couple of stands, there were girls everywhere with respectively names written on their foreheads, on their t-shirts, on their arms, etc. (Apparently, Niall was the most common favourite. Something which both Harry and Zayn were cool with.) Some people went with their parents, but most went in groups of four, or five. One thing everyone had in common was that everyone seemed incredibly happy and excited. Harry supposed it was like that before every concert, but he couldn’t help but to feel it was something special about just this one.

A couple of hours later, when they were finally let in, Harry was literally shaking with excitement. He wasn’t really sure why, since he had in fact seen them rehearse a couple of times, and he’d even talked to them; fuck, he’d talked to them naked under a bed. But still, it felt as if every vein in his body was on fire. He kept jumping around or hitting on Zayn for no real reason, simply because he needed to get rid of some energy. Zayn might have been a bit annoyed, but he kept it inside of him and just gave Harry a patient smile, because he was a good friend like that.

When they found their seat, they sat down and had hyper active girls on both sides of them, panting ferociously and just generally having emotional outbreaks. (“They will be right there!” “I know!” “Like really close!” “I know!” “I’m gonna die!” “Me too!”) Harry and Zayn weren’t much better though.

Before the concert actually started, they played some music on the big screens, like Little Mix and Justin Bieber, and Harry and Zayn sang along to “How Ya Doin’?” which was played repeatedly. But when the music stopped and they finally played the opening clip of the boys waking up in a random house, the whole arena was filled with excited screams, making Harry’s ear ache, but he literally couldn’t have cared less. Admittedly, probably about 90% of everyone in the building had already seen the clip in a bad quality on YouTube, but this was so much different. Like, this was right here. In front of them. Live. In real life. And everyone was awfully aware of what would happen when it was over.

And then it was over. Harry took a deep breath, and seconds later, the opening to “Up all night” began, and Harry didn’t think it’d be possible, but the volume got higher and when Liam started singing, it got even higher. The girl next to him appeared to have reached some sort of climax, and jumped up and down screaming so much Harry kind of wanted to throw a bucket of cold water on her. Even Harry was out of breath though, which might be due to the fact that Zayn had just punched him pretty hard in the stomach. Harry shot him a dirty look but Zayn was only beaming, pointing to the stage like an idiot.

“Look, look, look!” He shouted, as if Harry wasn’t aware of the fact that the concert had started.

“Yeah, I know!”

Still smiling like an idiot, Zayn seemed to completely have missed what Harry had just said. Rolling his eyes, Harry returned his attention to the stage and that’s when he saw him, not too far away. He was wearing black trousers and some ordinary t-shirt, and was smiling. Harry stood completely still, just looking at him. He started singing along with the chorus, while moving along on stage. Harry’s eyes never left him, he hardly even noticed what else was going on stage. There was only one thing important in his vision, and he was singing on the top of his lungs, looking so amazingly stunning Harry didn’t know what to do with himself.

When the song was over, Liam shouted into the microphone. “London, how are you!?”

The answer was a mind-numbing scream, which was presumably just what Liam was aiming for.

Louis went to stand next to Liam. “It is good to be back in London, isn’t it Li-Li?” He said, and put an arm around Liam’s shoulder.

“Definitely.”

Niall stepped into view. “It really is good to be back.”

“Do you know what I like the most after returning to England after America?” Louis asked, looking at Niall.

“No,” Niall replied, “Please share your wisdom, Tommo,”

“The tea,” Louis answered, earning another round of screams from the audience, “I’m telling you, over in the states, it is horrendous.”

Niall laughed, and rolled his eyes. “You and your tea.”

“What? It’s important,” Louis argued.

“Yeah,” Niall laughed, “You can’t go to bed without a cup of tea, right? Otherwise you talk in your sleep? Don’t think I haven’t heard you on the bus!”

The audience screamed, and Louis scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah, I am actually singing about myself. Busted. How awkward.”

“Anyway,” Liam said, changing the subject, “this is a bit emotional for us, because this is the last show of our tour.” The audience screamed, and Liam raised his voice. “So we need you to be as loud as you possibly can, so we can end this tour feeling good about ourselves!”

The audience didn’t need to be told twice. Harry’s ears hurt.

The show continued much like Harry had thought it would; much energy both from the boys and the audience. And when the part everyone had been anticipated the most, the twitter questions, Harry was reeking with excitement.

“Alright, here we go,” Niall said.

“I swear to god, if we get another human pyramid-question, I will flat out refuse,” Louis said, before the screen lit up in a light blue light, and the question appeared.

 

From: Niam_loves_1D_louis_is_a_sexy_carrot

_If u could be any animal in the world, what would you be??? :)))))_

 

Harry snorted at the username, before returning his attention to the boys.

“Can I be a human?” Louis asked.

Niall laughed. “Nah, that’s boring.”

“Alright. Well, what would you be then, Niall?”

“Oh, it’s so hard,” Niall appeared to be deep in thought, “I reckon the obvious answer would be a lion, but I have always had a thing for wolves. And then we could be, like, a wolf pack.”

“No, no, no,” Louis shook his head and went to stand next to Niall, with a hand on his shoulder, “As much as I liked the wolf pack theory, you, my good old Irish friend, is either a golden retriever or a squirrel.”

Niall laughed out loud, and the audience screamed approvingly. “Well, I’m going to go with a golden retriever then. Don’t fancy being a squirrel.”

“Good choice.”

Liam smiled. “What am I then, Tommo?”

“Hm,” Louis narrowed his eyes and eyed Liam up and down, “Well, you are either a goldfish,” Niall laughed and the audience screamed, “or a bear. Not like a scary bear, but more of a cuddly bear.”

Liam nodded seriously. “Well, I’m going to go with a goldfish then. After all, I’ve always wanted to live in a bowl.”

The audience screamed and Harry suddenly felt someone pulling on his arm.

“He is so perfect!” Zayn squeaked, hardly audible because of the loud noise in the arena.

Keeping his eyes on Louis, Harry said, “I know.”

Many meters away from them, the three boys continued their conversation.

“Good decision, Liam,” Louis said, “If I ever reincarnate, I hope I’ll end up as a goldfish too. But in this life, I’m guessing I am a, I don’t know. Maybe, a fox? Because I’m clever and shit.”

Niall laughed and looked at Louis. “That’s actually so great, because you do honestly really look like a fox! Like, with the hair and everything. I’m serious, you do!”

Louis’ mouth was a tight line. “Why, thank you, Niall. How sweet of you to say.”

“You’re welcome,” Niall said with a goofy grin of his face.

“The goldfish, the golden retriever and the fox,” Liam said, “That is a killer combination right there.”

“Alternatively; the squirrel, the bear and the fox,” Louis said. “But, yeah, yours probably had a better ring to it.”

“No way in hell I’m a squirrel,” Niall argued, an eyebrow raised.

“You,” Louis said, pointing at Niall, with a serious look on his face, “are a squirrel! Just embrace it.”

Niall put his hands on his hips and gave Louis a murderous look, as the crowd was going insane. “Never.”

“Alright, alright, let’s not fight,” Liam interrupted, putting a hand on both Louis’ and Niall’s chests, “No one is a squirrel unless they want to be.”

“Fine,” Louis agreed, “let’s just take the next question.”

“Yeah.”

Harry had a big smile on his face when the screen lit up with another question.

 

From: Curly

_Would you ever consider getting a tattoo? It would look good on you! X_

 

The audience screamed and Harry froze. That was sent from his twitter account. He stood still, trying to understand why it was sent from his twitter account, until he remembered that he was the one who had sent it from his twitter account. Right. Just when Zayn had told him he’d gotten tickets, Harry had just figured, why not, and sent it. He had never imagined it would actually get chosen.

On the scene, Louis kept his gaze on the question, seeming dumbstruck.

Niall laughed as he looked at Louis. “Well, well, well. Would you ever consider getting a tattoo? It would look good on you.”

From the smirk on Niall’s face, Harry could guess that Louis had told them about last night’s events.

“Um,” Louis began, “I don’t know how many of you have actually noticed but,” the screams in the audience got louder, because yes, they had noticed, “I actually got one yesterday.” He showed his arm in the direction of the camera, and the tattoo was shown clearly on the big screen. “And I kind of like it.”

Harry’s heart was swelling up so badly. He couldn’t explain it, it wasn’t rational. But, like, that tattoo it was right there, that was his doing. He made Louis get that. The whole arena was in frenzy, and it was all thanks to him. As if Zayn could sense his thoughts, he turned to Harry with big smile on his face.

“It looks good on him, yeah?”

“It does,” Harry was smiling so widely, his cheeks hurt, “I’m so in love with him.” Right after he’d said it, Harry’s smile faltered, realising what he’d just said. “Wait, I mean –“

His smile vanished, Zayn gave Harry a puzzled, but concerned look. “Um, Harry –“

“No, no, no, I know.” Harry swallowed and frowned, avoiding Zayn’s gaze. “Let’s just pretend like I didn’t say anything, alright?”

Nodding slowly, Zayn returned his attention back to what was happening on stage, where they were talking some more about tattoos - Liam saying something about how he’s considered it, and Niall saying something about it not being his thing. Harry wasn’t paying attention, though. All he could think about was _I’m so in love with him, I’m so in love with him._ Why did he say that? Like, no. No, he wasn’t. It wasn’t logical at all. They’d know each other for six days. Six intense, perfect days, granted, but still six days. It wasn’t rational. He wasn’t fucking in love with him. It was insane. And Harry wasn’t insane, thank you very much.

With trembling hands and an unsteady breathing, Harry returned his attention back to the stage, where Liam was talking.

“What about you, Lou? Fancy getting more tattoos?”

“Um,” Louis squinted his eyes,” to answer Curly’s question, I think, yes, I definitely want to get more tattoos.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I think they’re a good way of keeping your individuality intact.” Louis smiled widely, as if he was proud of what he’d just said, and Harry couldn’t help the fondness which came rushing through him.

Basically, Harry was smiling before he even realised what he was doing. But really, he was just so happy right now. All he wanted to do was get on that stage, hold Louis, and tell him how proud he was of him. And kiss his tattoo, kiss his face, kiss his lips, kiss his everything. And fuck it. Maybe that was irrational, unreasonable and even absurd. Maybe Harry was insane. But he was also insanely in love with Louis Tomlinson. That was a fact at this point. Harry was definitely insane. But whatever. He was happy. That’s all that matters.

“I’m expecting an “I love Niall” across your chest then soon, mate,” Niall said and the audience cheered loudly.

“I wouldn’t get my hopes up,” Louis said, and Niall pouted.

The concert continued on as usual after that. They played their songs, and during Little Things, Louis even gave Harry a small smile, which he returned happily. _I’m in love with you._ When it was time for their final song “What Makes You Beautiful”, the crowd was cheering louder than ever before, Harry and Zayn included. Liam, Niall and Louis were jumping around on stage, there was colourful light coming in all directions, and at the last chorus, there came graffiti through the ceiling down on the crowd.

“Thank you, London!” Liam shouted when the song finished, and the response was so loud, Harry had to cover his ears with his hands.

The shouting continued for a while, until Liam, Niall and Louis had exited the stage for good, and people calmed down. Harry and Zayn looked at each other smiling. They didn’t even need to say anything. They both just knew.

Harry felt his phone buzzing in his pocket.

 

From: Louis

_Hey curly! Feel like coming backstage?? :)_

From: Harry

_Be right there!!_

 

Harry looked at Zayn, shifting in his spot excitedly, unable to stand still. “So, um, I’m gonna go meet up with Louis.”

Zayn just gave him a patient smile. “Go. I’ll see you later.”

“Yes!” Harry rushed forward and gave Zayn a quick hug, before running away. “See you soon!”

Harry ran through the crowd, until he found one door which led backstage. Louis had told him the code necessary to enter which he typed in. The security guards gave him a funny look, but they recognised him, so it was all good.

It was almost as maniac backstage as outside, if not more. Harry quickly walked through the crowd, a massive amount of people doing god knows what. Harry knew where Louis, Liam and Niall usually hung out though; the dressing room, so that’s where he headed. When he opened the door, he was greeted by the sight of Louis sitting alone on a chair. When he noticed Harry entering, he quickly rose to his feet, grinning widely.

“Harry! You made it!”

“Of course I did,” Harry said as he moved closer to Louis.

“Yeah, well, didn’t know if you’d know where to go in this maze backstage. I never told you where I was.”

Harry shrugged. “I figured.”

Standing right in front of him now, Louis pulled Harry into a tight hug. “I’m glad.”

Harry returned the hug, holding Louis closely. He could smell the sweat, and something else, maybe perfume, reeking of him. Burying his head in Louis’ hair, he closed his eyes. When Louis pulled away, Harry let go reluctantly, letting his arms fall loosely by his sides.

“So, what did you think?” Louis' smile was intoxicating, filling Harry’s stomach with butterflies.

“You were so good!” Harry exclaimed, waving his arms around to empathize his point.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah!” Harry repeated, smiling widely. “Honestly, one of the best live shows I have ever seen, hands down!”

Louis scratched the back of his neck, his smile warm. “Really?”

“Definitely. I mean, when you sang “Little Things”, that was like magic.”

“Yeah, yeah, that one’s always good live,” Louis nodded thoughtfully, “But I’m guessing that has a lot to do with the audience as well, I guess. Since they sing along and stuff. Makes it a bit more intimate, or something.”

“Suppose so, but the reason they’re singing along is because of you guys, so I think you should take some pride in that too.”

Chuckling, Louis shrugged. “Alright, if you say so.”

“I do.”

Louis smirked. “It really is a miracle though that we even managed to do the show, given how you’ve been disturbing our practise all week.”

“What?” Harry cried out. “You’re the one who forced me to come!”

“Maybe. You’re just too cute not to bring along.”

Smiling, Harry blushed.

“Hey, by the way, I liked the tattoo question.” Louis said with a wink.

Harry barked a laugher. “Honestly, I did not know that was going to show up there.”

“Oh, yeah?” Louis put his hands on his hips, and gave Harry a suspicious look. “Because something tells me that was your plan all along.”

“Oh, fuck, busted.” Harry let out an exasperated sigh. “I was indeed hired by your management to convince you to get a tattoo undercover and then show it on stage. _Awkward._ ”

Laughing, Louis hit Harry on the shoulder. “Shut up.”

Smiling, Harry looked around the empty room. “So, where’s Niall and Liam?”

“Oh, they’re just doing some, I don’t know, important stuff,” Louis waved his arms around dismissively, as if it wasn’t important at all.

“Right,” Harry said when a sound came from Louis’ phone, announcing he got a text.

After reading the text, Louis pocketed the phone and looked up at Harry. “Speaking of the devil, it appears as if they need me for this important stuff, after all.”

“Oh, that’s okay,” Harry quickly said, “You do whatever you need to do.”

After nodding, there was a beat of silence, where Louis looked around the room for no apparent reason. When he looked back at Harry, he took a deep breath and put his hands in his pockets. “Right, well. So I guess this is it then?”

Harry blinked. “Huh?”

“You know,” Louis waved his hand back and forward between him and Harry.

Harry frowned. Louis wasn’t making much sense. “What, you mean the tour?”

“No, not the tour,” Louis chuckled, and then quickly added, “Or I mean, the tour too, I guess. Obviously.”

“Alright,” Harry drawled, “What did you mean then?”

There was another short silence. When Louis answered, he spoke softly, watching Harry carefully. “I meant you and me.”

His eyebrows furrowed, Harry asked, still confused, “What do you mean you and me?”

“I mean,” Louis spoke slowly, clearly enunciating every word, “that this is it. Between you and me.”

“Um,” Feeling a cold shrill down his spine, Harry processed what Louis had just said, until oh. _Oh._ Harry’s heart fell. All at once, Harry couldn’t even look at him, but kept his gaze firmly glued to the ground. He blinked. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Louis said, sounding a bit awkward.

Harry’s body felt numb. This was not happening. “Um.”

“It’s not like you -” Louis said, stopping midsentence. Slowly, Harry looked up at Louis, who was watching him hesitantly, his eyes narrowing and his mouth slightly opened. Louis continued. “It’s not like you _actually_ thought it would work out, did you?”

_Yes._ “No?”

Louis gave him a puzzled look.

Harry didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry?”

“Oh, no, no, no, don’t apologise. Jesus. ” Louis stepped closer, taking small, tentative steps. “Look, Harry. Honestly, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me so much. You have no idea. Really, I owe you so much. You couldn’t have been more perfect this entire week. Truly.”

Harry nodded. He couldn’t speak. Couldn’t breathe.

Louis looked Harry deep in the eyes. “And I’m not going to be all, it’s not you, it’s me. But more, it’s not you, it’s my industry.” Louis took another deep breath. “Just. It’s not going to be worth it. Trust me. Might as well end it now before anyone gets hurt.”

_It’s not going to be worth it._ “Right.”

“Right, um,” Louis nodded slowly, before forcing a smile, “so this is it, then!” He put a hand of Harry shoulder. “You take care, alright? And I’ll, um. Just take care, pal, okay?”

Harry nodded, silent, and Louis removed his hand, still smiling.

Louis was walking to the door when he suddenly stopped abruptly, as if he had remembered something. He turned around. “Wait –“ he said, frowning slightly.

Harry’s heartbeat sped up. _Maybe, maybe, maybe._ “Yeah?”

Louis put a hand on his hip. “You do know how to get out, right? Like, the main entrance will be blocked so you’ll have to use the one to the right. If you need help you can just ask the security, and they’ll help you.”

Harry’s breath got stuck in his throat. “Right.”

“Okay, good.” Louis pulled down the door handle and Harry tracked his every move, unable to look away. When the door was opened, he looked back one final time, giving Harry one last look, his mouth slightly tilted upward. “Bye, then.”

Harry didn’t say anything as he watched Louis walk through the door and leave. For good.

When he was all alone, Harry noticed how silent everything was suddenly. Focusing on a spot on the wall in front of him, he repeated in his mind everything Louis had just said. _It’s not like you actually thought it’d work out did you?_ Harry felt nauseous.

When Harry finally moved his body, it felt as if he was stuck in some dreamy haze. Like he was down in a cold, icing ocean, numbing his entire body, making it impossible to breathe. He just wanted to get out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry?


	17. Chapter 17

Harry had this problem, see. He desperately wanted to cry; wanted to cry his eyes out, make his vision blurry and acknowledge the fact that he was not well – that he deserved to cry. However, there was this slight complication. Crying does come with some side effects, such as red eyes, dark circles and puffy lips. A.k.a. features noticeable to people on the outside. Now, Harry didn’t care much about what the other passengers on the train would think, but he was, however, concerned about what his mum would say when she’d pick him up at the station in one hour. The thing was that she’d ask questions – questions that Harry wouldn’t particularly feel like answering. But if he didn’t answer, he’d feel stupid, and his mum would feel stupid, and it would all just be _stupid_. And maybe it wouldn’t even be stupid, but it would feel stupid; which was essentially the same thing, really. And when Harry felt stupid, he wanted to cry some more. Cry at his stupidity. 

So it was a bit like an evil circle, one could say. To cry, or not to cry – that is the question. 

Ultimately, Harry decided against it, even though that’s easier said than done. It’s hard keeping it in when your whole body is begging for release. The only thing Harry could do, really, was stare out the window and do his best at distracting himself from thinking about evil circles, blue eyes and his own stupidity. 

When he reached his stop, he grabbed his bag and exited the train. The day was cloudy and the morning sun hadn’t fully broken out yet. With his bag hung around his shoulder, he walked towards the car park where he knew his mum would be waiting. 

Once there, he saw his mum leaning against their car, smiling widely when she spotted him. Harry managed a weak smile. 

“Honey!” She exclaimed, and walked forward to embrace him in a tight hug. 

“Hi, mum,” Harry mumbled into her hair. 

When she let go of him, she was still smiling. “How you’ve been? Had a good time in London?”

Harry wanted to throw up. “Yeah, it was, um. Fun.”

“Yeah? What did you do?” 

“I, um. Well.” Harry took a deep breath from the chilly, morning air. “Um.”

Anne gave Harry a concerned look, while touching his arm gently. “Hey, are you alright? You look like a ghost.”

Harry snorted. “Thanks.”

“I didn’t mean it like that. Just, you don’t look too well.” 

Harry looked down at his feet. “I haven’t slept all night so I’m a bit tired.”

“Oh, of course! Lets’ go home so you can rest.” Anne went back to open the luggage trunk for Harry to throw his bag in. 

When Harry had left his bag, he situated himself in his seat and Anne started driving. Just when he had closed his eyes, he could hear Anne starting to talk. 

“So, rough night, huh?” 

Keeping his eyes closed, Harry hummed. “Mhm.”

“Were you out partying, or?” 

“Not really.”

“Well, what did you do then?”

_Oh, well, mum, you see – there’s this guy I’ve been obsessing about for a couple of months because I was positive he was my soul mate. And then I actually met him, and he was even more perfect than I could have ever imagined. So, we spend one week together, I fell in love with him, and then last night he told me that we should never see each other again, because I wouldn’t be worth the trouble. So I went to the train station and waited alone for five hours until my first train home would come. Then I texted asking you to come pick me up. Fun night!_

Sighing, Harry opened his eyes and watched the same grey, old buildings outside his window that he had seen so many countless of times before. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“No?” Anne chuckled. “Too old to understand what you youngsters are up these days?”

Harry kept staring out the window. “Yeah.”

“Does it have anything to do with why you’re home early?”

“One could say that,” Harry said, his voice flat. 

Anne shot him a concern glance. “You didn’t do drugs, did you?”

Despite himself, Harry rolled his eyes and smirked. “No.”

Patting him on the shoulder, Anne said, “Good boy.”

Harry nodded and continued to stare out the window. Anne seemed to notice the 'I do not want to talk' aura surrounding him, so the rest of drive was in a mutual silence. 

When they got home, the first thing Harry did was walk directly to his room, not even bothering to eat breakfast. He threw himself on the bed where he finally dozed off, secretly wishing wish that he’d never had to wake up. 

 

xx

 

When Harry walked into class Monday morning, he was greeted by Nick grinning at him. 

“Harry!” He said, as Harry sat down in the seat next to him. “Long time no seen. How you’ve been?” 

Harry started fidgeting with his books. “Um, I’ve been good.”

“Yeah?” Nick moved so he had an elbow on the desk, facing Harry. “How was the capital of England?” 

“Yeah, yeah, good,” Harry said, looking at the desk in front of him, hoping the teacher would come soon. “It was fun.”

“Yeah? What kind of fun? Did you shag some girls?”

“Um,” Harry bit his lower lip, “no?”

“No?” Nick raised his eyebrows, before smacking his hand on the desk. “Right! I’m sorry. You were with Eleanor, right?”

It took a moment before Harry realised what he was talking about. Right, Eleanor. His “reason for going to London”. Right. 

“Exactly.”

Nick moved closer so he could whisper in Harry’s ear. “So, in what positions did you do it then? You think she’d be into anal?”

Harry froze. His cheeks were burning red but his body felt ice cold. “No, we, uh. El’s great, but we’re just friends, so.”

Moving away, Nick shrugged. “If you say so. Just, if I remember correctly, she was pretty hot.”

“El is great, yeah.”

Harry looked up at the clock hanging on the wall. The teacher should really be here by now. As if on cue, the door opened. Harry was just about to thank god, when he saw that it wasn’t the teacher, but Josh, that entered. Josh spotted him and Nick and sat down in front of them. 

“Hey, how was London?” Josh asked, looking at Harry. 

_Could people stop asking that?_ “It was good.”

“How was Eleanor? Still fit?”

“Woah, I’m going to stop you right there,” Nick interrupted, causing Josh to turn his attention to him, “You see, Harry and Eleanor are just friends, so they haven’t done anything remotely sexual together.” 

“What?” Josh cried out, looking back and forward between Harry and Nick, before directing his gaze at Harry. “Dude, if I were you, I would have banged her so hard.”

Harry swallowed. 

“Me too!” Nick said. “That girl is fit. Jesus, the things I would have done to her! Like can you imagine -”

“Um, guys, could you, like, stop?” Harry said before he could stop himself. His cheeks were still hot and he stared down at his hands. “I mean, she’s not an object. Like, there’s more to her than her body.”

“Oh, touchy subject!” Josh laughed. “You sure you’re not fucking?”

Harry shook his head. “No, we’re just friends.”

Nick draped an arm around Harry’s shoulder. “Leave poor Harold alone. If he prefers his right hand, then that’s up to him.”

Josh grinned and gave Harry’s hand one small pat. “Okay, princess. I’ll shut up.”

Sighing, Harry looked at the clock again. 

Finally, the teacher entered. Harry thanked god. 

They were assigned a task which Harry couldn’t have cared less about if he tried. Instead, he opened his Tumblr that he hadn’t used in over ten days, which must be some kind of record, surely. Harry thought back at the last ten days, what he’d been doing, but also more importantly, what he had failed to do. Sighing, he wrote a text post. 

__

> _what do you think is worse, being disappointed or being a disappointment_

 _#mine_

Personally, Harry’s own answer was painfully present in every cell in his body. 

 

xx

 

From: Zayn

_Hey harry!! How’s it going? You just took off this Friday, got a bit worried aha :/ everything okay? Why isn’t your phone on?_

_Did you talk things through with Louis? Sorry for interrogating you, I’m just curious_

_Bye, take care xx reply soon pls?_

 

From: Harry

_Hiii. Yeah sorry my phone ran out of batteries and then things got fucked up at the hotel, so I went home early. Hope I didn’t worry you too much!!_

_Talked to Louis and we decided to play it cool for a while. I’m fine though, promise. :)_

_Byee x_

 

It was actually pretty strange how everything continued on as usual. How everything had changed, but at the same time nothing at all. 

The interactions in school were as they had always been, really; friendly banters and jokes, never any real meaning behind them. The thing was that Harry just didn’t find anything funny anymore. He just had this strong feeling constantly that this was not where he was supposed to be, these were not the people he was supposed to be with and this was not what he was supposed to be doing. It wasn’t even really a feeling; it was a fact. Just as strongly as Harry knew he was human, he was breathing, he wasn’t happy – just as fiercely did he know that this was not where he was supposed to be. 

It was like claustrophobia; the feeling of constantly being trapped in a reality you didn’t actually belong in. The thing Harry usually did when he was upset was imagine different scenarios where things were better. But every time he did nowadays, all he could see was blue eyes, tanned skin, and caramel brown hair; and he tried to repress that imagine as harshly as he could. Harry assumed things would improve at some point; but right now it just didn’t feel like it. 

And Harry knew he should probably talk to someone about everything; just seemed like the logical, reasonable thing to do. He knew that Zayn, Gemma or his mum would definitely be there to listen if he asked for it. Especially Zayn, since he has specifically asked how Harry was doing. Harry just didn’t want to do it. Because A) he didn’t want their pity, sympathy, empathy - whatever word you felt like using. B) They wouldn’t understand. They’d smile, say “I understand”, maybe they’d even mean it; but they wouldn’t. Not really.

Honesty, Harry could probably think of a billon more excuses if he tried. In the end, it all came down to the fear of being vulnerable. After all, Harry was sort of a self-proclaimed expert of what happens when you do. Ultimately, it’s just easier to say you’re fine and leave it at that. 

So Harry did the only thing he knew how to do; he wrote it off. Because he didn’t want to voice his thoughts out loud, he put them on a piece of paper. Wherever he went, he carried his journal, and whenever a thought popped into his head, he wrote it down. He wasn’t quite sure what good it’d do, but it was something. It wasn’t a real escape - not really. It wasn’t what he was craving, not what he wanted and not what he needed; but sometimes you just got to take what you have and make the most out of it. So Harry wrote. Sometimes it hurt when he did, because it brought back unwanted memories; but in that case he used that pain as fuel and wrote some more. 

Three weeks after the London-incident, Harry sat on his floor, the guitar in his lap, and plenty of papers filled with lyrics and chords splattered in front of him. The skin on the tip of his fingers was rough and hard after hours of trying to figure of the right chord to every sentence in his songs, and then playing them repeatedly. When Harry looked down on the papers in front of him and realised he had enough songs to fill an entire record - and some more, even, he smiled his first genuine smile for three weeks. 

 

xx

 

“Ugh, that Greg kid is so weird though. I mean, who even is he?” Nick rambled, his mouth full of food. 

Harry looked up from his plate. They were currently sitting in the cafeteria; he, Nick, Josh, Danielle and even Perrie, this time. Perrie, who hadn’t said a word to him for god knows how long. 

“Like, I can just catch him staring at me sometimes. And not like quick glances, but long glares, which can last up to five minutes. He’s so weird.” Nick shot Harry a look. “I mean, Harold here is a bit strange, but that guy is a prober weirdo.”

Harry shrugged, bashful, looking down on his food. “Maybe he’s nice on the inside.”

Nick rolled his eyes. “It’s not as if I’m doubting “he’s nice on the inside”, Harold. I’ll bet he’s a fucking saint on the inside.”

Danielle raised a finger. “To quote Rachel from Batman Begins; “It’s not who you are on the inside that matters; it’s what you do that defines you.””

“Exactly,” Nick agreed. 

Perrie snorted. “Geeks,” she mumbled. 

“Hey!” Danielle cried out, incredulous. “The Batman series is a work of art! Plus, Christian Bale is superhot.” 

Perrie dropped her fork. “Speaking of hot, I met a guy last weekend at club, and we’re going out again tonight.” She looked across the table. “Did I mention he was gorgeous?”

Nick patted her on the shoulder. “Good for you.”

Harry looked at her and smiled weakly. Despite everything, he wanted to be happy for her. He did. But his mind just automatically drifted back to Louis and their perfect week together, and it felt like a slap in the face. He wondered if Louis had found someone else. Probably. He was probably well over Harry at this point, probably didn’t even remember him. Why would he? Harry was just plain old Harry, while Louis was _Louis_. Even though it sucked, Harry kind of wished he had. If anyone deserved to be happy, it was Louis. It wasn’t his fault Harry hadn’t been good enough to keep him interested. 

Blinking, Harry tried to think of something else, as he always did when he entered these train of thoughts. Just, when you’ve been happy – really, truly happy, it was pretty awful to have it be taken away from you. And Harry knew he deserved to be happy, even if it wasn’t with Louis. He believed everyone did. Even Perrie. So he kept on smiling at her as she continued on talking. 

“Yeah, his name is Alex. He’s tall, and blonde, and sexy.” She sighed dreamily. “He’s perfect.”

“Sounds like a catch,” Josh said, sitting next to Harry. 

“He is,” Perrie confirmed. Suddenly, she looked at Harry, smiling arrogantly. “What about you, Harry? Anyone special in your life?”

“Uh,” Harry drawled, looking around the table and seeing everyone watching him attentively, waiting for an answer, “no?”

“No?” Perrie repeated and returned her attention to her food smiling smugly. “Well, that’s a shame.”

Harry nodded. “Yeah.” _Why, thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you’re at it, why don’t you give him a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice in it?_

“Well, I have some good news I think I should share as well,” Nick said, grinning widely. 

“Yeah?” Danielle asked. “What’s that?” 

Harry embraced himself. If Nick had “someone special” in his life as well, he would, em. Well, nothing. He’d be jealous. 

“I have got a job!” Nick said, his eyes shining, clearly proud. 

Harry let out a relieved breath. That wasn’t too bad. “Really? Where?”

“On the radio!” Nick grinned. “It’s nothing permanent, I’ll only work as substitute for a couple of weeks, during the weekends.”

Harry raised his eyebrows. “So, you’ll have your own talk show?” 

“Yeah.” Nick put a hand to his chest. “They just couldn’t resist my charming personality.” 

“That’s so cool!” Perrie said enthusiastically. 

“Thanks,” Nick said, smiling at her. 

“You’re welcome,” Perrie said, before once again, turning her gaze towards Harry. “What about you, Harry? Anything cool going on in your life?” 

“Um, I,” Harry thought back at last night, at the splattered papers and his sore finger tips, “I have, um, sort of written an album?” 

The table turned quiet. Everyone looked at Harry, who squirmed under the sudden attention. 

Nick frowned. “What do you mean, you’ve written an album?”

“I mean, I’ve written enough songs to create an entire album.” 

Nick still stared at him, shocked. “When did you do that?”

Harry shrugged. “Like. Now?” 

“Hey,” Danielle said, smiling, “is that why you always carry your journal around? To write lyrics?” 

“Sort of, yeah.” 

Perrie snorted. “Why? You want to be a singer or something?”

Harry shrugged. “I guess?”

Her mouth a tight line, and her voice toneless, Perrie said, “I don’t think you have it in you, to be honest.” 

Ignoring the pain in his stomach, Harry nodded, trying to keep his face blank. 

“No, wait a minute,” Nick said, looking at Perrie, “Don’t be mean to poor Harold. You’re obviously upsetting him.”

Perrie rolled her eyes. “Just saying the truth.”

Harry gaze flickered between Nick and Perrie. 

“Hey, Haz,” Nick said, looking at him. “Don’t listen to her; that actually sounds wicked.“

“Oh.” Harry stared at him, his mouth open. “Thanks.”

“Look, can you play the songs you’ve written? Like, are they finished?”

Harry nodded eagerly. “Yeah, I have chords for all of them and everything. They’re finished.”

Nodding, Nick processed this information. He looked at Harry considering. “Look, I’m looking for a guest to accompany me next weekend. If you’re up for it, maybe I could interview you and then you could play a song or two?” Nick shrugged. “I mean, you’d have to sing them to me first, so I know they aren’t complete shit and I lose all of my credibility in the radio career already, but.”

“With great power comes great responsibility,” Danielle added. 

“Exactly.” 

Perrie rolled her eyes again. 

Harry still stared at Nick. Harry? _On the radio?_ “Really?” 

“Yeah. I mean, if you want.” 

“Wow, that actually, um,” Harry looked around the table, and he suddenly felt lighter than he had in a long time. He looked back at Nick, smiling. “That actually sounds really great.” 

 

 **Louis’ POV:**

 

Louis had his shit together for once. Finally. He didn’t mess around, didn’t start fights. He, Niall and Liam were better mates than ever. His management wasn’t annoyed with him. He had his shit together, basically. He was happier than ever. Which was why he had a hard time explaining why he had a constant, restless feeling like there was something missing. 

The feeling was especially strong one day on the tour bus, when he just zoned out completely. He was brought back to life from Niall shaking his arm gently with a concerned look on his face. 

“Mate, are you okay?” 

“Eh, yeah.” Louis looked around the area around himself, confused. “Just, did we forget something? It felt like we did.” 

Niall gave him a puzzled look. “No. What would that be?” 

Wide eyed, Louis shrugged. “Liam?” 

The response came a millisecond later. “I’m literally sitting right behind you, Louis,” Liam whined. 

Louis turned around and saw that Liam was indeed behind him, a phone in his hand. “That you are.”

“It’s good to know you’d notice if I went missing at least,” Liam said, rolling his eyes.

Louis dismissed that comment. “Who are you texting?” 

Liam tightened the grip on his phone, and suddenly looked very self-conscious. “Zayn.”

“Ahh,” Louis said, smiling, and turned around, “Harry’s friend. Hope he’s doing okay.” 

“He’s good yeah.” 

Louis snapped back instantly, frowning. “Really? How would you know? Are you talking to him?” 

“Eh, I just said I was texting him.” Liam raised one eyebrow. Frowning, Louis wondered when he became so sassy. He then remember the “Sass 101” class he had given him one year ago, and _right_. Maybe he had himself to blame. Good thing Niall was still a sweetheart. 

“That’s not who I meant.” Louis turned around in his seat again. “But I guess I hope he’s doing okay, too.” 

Niall switched in his seat so he was facing Louis. “If you want to know how Harry’s doing, _you_ could text him, you know.” 

“Yeah,” Louis considered this, “but no.” 

“Why not? Liam’s texting Zayn.”

“True, but,” Louis clasped his hands together, “you see, Liam’s got his shit together. He’s stable. Trustworthy. He can do whatever he wants to.”

Louis heard Liam’s voice behind him. “So you weren’t the one who talked for one hour last Friday about how whole your soul suddenly was and how glad you were that you have finally found yourself?”

Louis sighed deeply. He was _so_ done with Liam’s sass. “ _True_. But I think that’s because I just can’t see my shit. I’ll bet it’s lurking behind some corner, though, ready to attack anytime.”

“I’m struggling to see what this has to do with Harry,” Niall said. 

“It has everything to do with him, because that boy had to deal with more shit in one week than most people have to in one year. And it’s not fair because Harry’s an angel. He doesn’t deserve to be dragged down in my shit.” Louis shrugged. “I wouldn’t want to be responsible for ruining his life before it even really began.”

“Wow. Dramatic much, Lou?” Niall snorted and rolled his eyes. “You sounds like that guy from Twilight.”

Louis sighed. He was so not Edward fucking Cullen. “Shut up.”

“Swear you are identical.”

“Oh, come one!” Louis exclaimed exasperatedly, looking at Niall pointedly, “I mean, realistically, imagine all the hate he’d get if he’d date me. It would be a lot. Plus, that guy was really sensitive, so it’d kill him for sure. Excuse me for not wanting that on my conscience. And this isn’t a teenage romance book where everything will work out through the force of love. I wouldn’t be worse the trouble. I wouldn’t be worth him fucking his entire life up. So better to just not to text him. Leave him out of this lifestyle,” Louis said, waving his hands to empathize his point. When neither Niall nor Liam said anything, Louis continued. “Plus, it’s been three weeks so I imagine he has found someone else at this point anyway.” 

Eventually, Niall shrugged and gave Louis a hesitant glace. “I mean. If you say so.” 

“I do, so end of discussion.” Louis stood up and started wandering around the bus. “I swear to god though, there is something missing. I can feel it in my soul.”

Niall turned around in the couch. “Maybe it’s your brain?” 

Sighing, Louis put his hands to his hips. “Very funny. You know, here I was, only thinking sweet things about you, and still, all you do is insult me.” 

“Sorry, Lou”, Niall grinned, “However, I’m pretty sure nothing’s missing. You can sit back down.”

“No can do, amigo,” Louis said and left Niall to stare at him incredulously. “I have to find it.”

Louis started walking around the bus, searching every room, for what he didn’t even know. Hopefully, he’d just know when he did. 

 

xx

 

After the end of the tour, it had became sort of like a routine for the three of them to hang out at Niall’s flat during the weekends; eat some food and watch some TV.

This Sunday, they were all sitting on the couch watching TV, when it revealed the next show airing would be “America’s Next Top Model”.

Louis smirked. “Did you know –“

“That you and Harry spend an entire afternoon watching that show? Yeah, thanks Lou, _we know_ ,” Niall finished for him. 

Louis smacked his arm. “That’s not what I was going to say, dumbass.” 

“No? Please continue then.” 

Louis cleared his throat and tried to think of something clever to say, seeing as that was exactly what he was going to say. “Um, what I was going to say is that, uh, my little sister Lottie wanted to join that show.” _Nailed it_. 

Liam gave him a concerned look. “Isn’t she too young for that?” 

“Meh.” Louis shrugged dismissively. “Don’t think she’s actually going to do it.” 

“Right,” Liam said and returned his attention to the TV. 

Without any warning, Niall leaned forward and grabbed the remote. “I don’t know about you guys,” he said as he turned off the TV, “but I’m tired of watching TV. I want to do something fun.” 

“But watching TV can be fun,” Louis argued. 

Niall gave Louis a pointing look. “Not fun enough.” 

“Well, what do you suggest we do then?” 

Niall grinned. “I say we go out for a pint.”

“It’s four in the afternoon!” Liam cried out. “And it’s a Sunday.”

Niall shrugged. “So?”

Simultaneously, Liam and Louis shot him a look. 

“Fine,” Niall agreed with a sigh, “But we could still go out. Catch a movie, get something to eat, or I don’t know. _Something._ ”

Louis instinctively slumbered down on the couch, spreading his legs and arms, making a sleepy expression with his face. “Too lazy for human interaction and things that involve me moving from this spot.” 

Niall sighed. “What about you, Liam?” 

Mimicking Louis, Liam slumbered down on the couch as well. “Think I’m with Lou on this one.”

Face palming himself, Niall asked, “Why am I friends with you guys?”

From his half sitting and half lying pose, Louis answered, “Because you applied to a TV-show as a single artist, but some people who thought they knew better than you what would make you successful decided to put you in a group with us two, and now you’re stuck with us because we are the one ones who truly understand your abnormal lifestyle.” 

“Right,” Niall said slowly, before raising his right hand in a fist, looking up at the ceiling, feigning an angry expression, “Damn you, Simon Cowell!”

“Ha-ha,” Louis laughed slowly, and put a hand to Niall’s knee, “You love us.” 

“Yeah, well,” Niall said and put and a hand on Louis’, “I still want to do something.” 

Louis moved so he was sitting upright; Liam following his movement. “I say we reach a settlement.”

“What do you propose?” Niall asked. 

“Hmm,” Louis thought for a second, “Nothing that requires me to move. But, I don’t know, maybe a drinking game?” 

Niall’s face lit up, but Liam spoke before he had the time to say anything. “Do I need to remind you folks that it’s still four in the afternoon?” 

“Well, we don’t need to drink anything strong. Orange juice or something will do.”

“How exciting,” Niall said in a flat voice. “Anyway, what kind drinking game would we play?” 

“I say we do the exclusive, dramatic, exciting, one of a kind, One Direction-drinking game!” Louis said. “Dun dun dun!”

“Yeah?” Liam said. “And which one is that?” 

Louis stopped to think. “I say we put on the radio, browse through the channels and drink whenever anyone plays our songs or mention anything related to us. Deal?” 

“Wow. That sounds incredibly self-absorbed, narcissist and egocentric,” Niall said. He then rose from his seat, smiling, and ran off. “I’ll go get the stuff!”

When he returned, Liam had already turned on the radio and the three of them were soon ready to begin. 

They had flickered through some channels when the first mention of them came, from a female voice saying; “The hottest boy band on the planet have just finished their world tour and –“

Niall raised his glass. “To the hottest boy band on the planet!”

“Just three normal lads!” Louis said. 

“This is stupid,” Liam said. 

When Louis swallowed his drink, he got the distinct feeling that something was missing again. Something was off. He looked around the room and saw Liam giving him a puzzled look. Louis smiled weakly.

“Let’s switch channel!” Niall said and Louis nodded. 

They entered another channel who were playing “Kiss you” so they took another drink. In silence, they flickered through some more channels, until they stopped at one. It had absolutely nothing to do with them, it was just some guy named Nick who talked about how overrated Easter was. However, Niall obviously thought he was funny, seeing as he laughed at every second thing he said. Louis, though, wasn’t entirely sold. He was a bit too arrogant for his liking. 

“Can’t we switch the channel?” Louis asked in a bored voice. 

Niall gave Louis a look, before shrugging and leaning down to grab the remote. 

Meanwhile, Nick continued on rambling in his annoying voice. “It is now time for a break, but don’t go anywhere, because after I will be joined by no other than my lifelong best friend from Cheshire, the upcoming superstar, Harry Styles!”

Louis froze, frowning. Surely he had misheard. No way had he heard what he thought he’d heard. 

“Hi,” came an exceptionally familiar voice. 

Nick said something else which Louis didn’t catch because he instantly jumped to his feet, and turned around to face Niall and Liam. “Oh my fucking god! Everyone be quiet!” 

Niall’s eyes widened. “We literally haven’t said anything in over ten min-“

“Shut up, Niall!” Louis snapped and grabbed the remote from his hand and raised he volume. 

It was too late however, because the only thing which came through the speakers was the annoyingly loud radio jingle, which every station insisted on, followed by a voice declaring which station they were listening to, as if they didn’t already know. As if they didn’t tell you every tenth second. 

Taking a heavy breath, Louis lowered the volume again before sitting himself down on the couch between Niall and Liam. His pulse was ridiculously high. 

“Jesus. Harry’s _on the radio?_ ” 

No one answered. 

“That’s insane. Oh my god.” Louis looked back and forward between Niall and Liam who both kept their mouths shut. “You may speak now.”

“Good for him,” is what Niall said eventually.

Louis immediately turned to look at him, alarmed. “Did you know about this?” When Niall only gave him a confused look, Louis turned to Liam. “Did _you?_ ”

“How was I supposed to know?” Liam asked incredulously. 

“I don’t know, aren’t you in touch with Zayn?” 

Liam shrugged. “Well, he hasn’t said anything. Maybe he didn’t know, either.” 

“Bullshit,” Louis said. “He’s Harry’s best friend. He must have.”

“Apparently, Nick is Harry’s best friend,” Niall said. 

“No, he isn’t!” Louis cried out. “As if Harry would be best friends with such a douche!” 

Niall looked at him pointedly. “Maybe you would have known if you would have texted him.”

Louis stared at the radio in front of him. There was an annoying commercial about cars playing right now. Louis swallowed. “Shut up.”

They sat in silence, listening to stupid commercials, until Louis felt Liam put a hand on his right leg. When Louis turned to face him, Liam was already looking at him, his face wide opened, his eyes concerned. 

“Relax, Lou.” 

Louis looked down on his leg, which apparently had been jumping up and down subconsciously. He just couldn’t sit still. He had too much energy buzzing through his body. “I am relaxed,” he lied. 

“Just breathe, alright?” 

“I am breathing!” Louis exclaimed. “I’m not dead, am I?” 

Liam rolled his eyes. “ _Relax_ ,” he repeated. 

“You can relax.”

Liam didn’t reply to that; instead, the three of them sat in silence again and simply waited for the commercial to be over. When it finally was, and the jingle declaring which radio station they were on appeared, Louis immediately raised the volume. 

“Fuck, Lou, we’re not deaf,” Niall whined. 

Louis turned to face him, and hissed “Shh!”, before turning around to look at the speakers in front of them. Nick’s voice came blaring through it. Louis sat completely still. 

“Hello, and welcome back!” He said. “I am your substitute radio host this week, Nick Grimshaw, and my guest here today is my good old pal, Harry Styles.” 

“Hi!” Harry piped. 

“Hello to you, Harry!” Nick said. “So, how about you tell us a little about yourself, seeing as our listeners don’t have any idea who you are.” 

“Yeah, sure.” Harry coughed. Louis could imagine him sitting nervously in his seat, pulling his fringe out of his eyes. “Name’s Harry. I’m from Cheshire. And I, uh, I like music.” 

“You like music?” Nick repeated, “I like music, too.”

Harry chuckled. “I think most people do, to be honest.” 

“Well, what separates you from most people then, Harry?” Nick asked.

“Um, I think it’s because I make my own music,” Harry said, his voice was just as deep, and slow speaking as Louis remembered it, and for some reason, it made his chest hurt.

Niall shifted next to him. “I didn’t know he made hi-“

Louis shut him up by putting a hand to his mouth. 

“That’s really impressive,” Nick said. “Wish I could write my own music.”

“Maybe you can, but haven’t tried yet?” 

“That’s actually reminds me, Harold,” Nick said, and Louis rolled his eyes at the nickname, “I did write a song once.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah, I went dancing once and decided to write a song about it - but I didn’t quite fancy it myself so I sold it to a top artist. You might have even heard the song.”

“Oh, really?” Harry asked. “Which one is it?” 

“”My hips don’t lie” by Shakira,” Nick told him, and Louis could hear his smug look through the speakers.

As a response, Harry laughed loudly into his microphone, and as did Niall. Even Liam smiled, seeming to have found this funny. 

Louis snorted. “He’s not even funny,” he muttered. He was pretty sure he had made Harry laugh louder than that. 

“Now that you’ve mentioned it, I have actually written a song called “My curls don’t lie””, Harry said. 

Louis laughed. _See_ , that’s humour. 

“Um, maybe I should explain that,” Harry continued, “I have curly hair, you see.”

Louis smiled. He already knew that. 

“Yes, you’re quite a looker, aren’t you?” Nick said. 

Louis rolled his eyes. He already knew that too.

“Well, I guess that depends on what you find attractive,” Harry, the modest bastard, said. 

“Don’t be doo humble,” Nick said, “At least if you’re into tattoos, you’re a real catch.”

 _*At least if you’re into nice features, nice personality and a nice everything, you’re a catch._ Louis wanted to correct. 

“Maybe. I mean, I don’t have that many,” Harry chuckled.

“But you could explain the ones you have to the listeners who can’t see them.”

“Sure,” Harry said, “The first one I have is a ship, on my left arm. Basically, it represents keeping myself anchored. I mean, life can be a bit like an ocean sometimes, crazy and scary and stuff. So basically it’s about not listening too much about what other people say, and whatever kind of shit that happens, and just keep going. Or, that was the initial thought I guess. Like, don’t give in.”

“Alright,” Nick said after that explanation, “And the next one? That you got this week?”

 _The next one?_ Instantly, Louis hated the fact that this was on radio, because he wanted to see Harry’s new tattoo. Fuck it, he wanted to see Harry, period.

“It’s two actually,” Harry said. “One on each arm; one saying Things I can, and the other saying Things I can’t. Basically, it’s just a reminder that there will just always be some things that you just can’t do. No matter how badly you want to.”

“I must admit, that was a much deeper description than I expected,” Nick said, and Louis nodded in agreement, “But I appreciate the insight into you mysterious brain.”

“Thanks, or something. And you’re welcome, I guess.”

“One could draw the conclusion that you like tattoos, then? Are you planning on getting more?”

“Yeah, definitely.”

“Why would you say they appeal to you so much?” 

“Um,” Harry said, and took a deep breath, “I just think they’re so individual, like they become a part of you, and I think that’s so cool. Just, it’s a part of you that you get too chose yourself, unlike everything else. And it’s exciting too, because sometimes I don’t think you really, truly know what a tattoo will mean to you, until you just kind of do.”

After a beat of silence, Nick said, “Right.”

Harry chuckled. “And I think they look good, of course.”

“Naturally,” Nick laughed, “That was the answer I was looking for. And as does your curls, which reminds me – will you play “My curls don’t lie” to us? Not going to lie, that song made me quite intrigued.”

“Oh, no can do, you see, um,” Harry stuttered, “I already have another one planned. And I actually really want to play that one, so.”

“Another time, then.”

“Another time,” Harry repeated. 

“So, Harry, tell us about what kind of songs you write when you don’t write about your hair,” Nick said, changing the topic. 

“Well, um,” Harry said slowly, “I kinda just write whatever I feel like writing.”

“Okay, but that’s not really an answer,” Nick said and Louis wanted to kick him because that was _so_ an answer, “I mean, since we don’t know what you write when you feel like writing.”

Harry coughed. “Well, I do acoustic songs with my guitar, and I write stuff inspired by real life events. Sort of. Like if I feel something, I write it.” 

“Right, but -” Nick said but was caught off by Harry laughing. 

“I mean, it’s hard to explain! I don’t know what you expect me to say!” 

“No, no, that’s okay!” Nick laughed too. “Basically, you could say you write pretentious, hipster music? Sort of?”

Harry gasped. “Nah, wouldn’t go that far. M’not pretentious.”

“That’s what they all say. So, you wouldn’t say you’re a music snob?” 

“ _What?_ ” Harry cried out. “No!” 

“Oh, really?” Nick asked, not sounding entirely convinced. “In that case, how do you feel about Britney Spears?” 

“I like Britney. She’s cool,” Harry answered, “Iconic.”

“She is,” Nick agreed, “How about One Direction?” 

Louis froze. _What. Did that actually really happen?_

“Um, well, uh, they’re good, too,” Harry stuttered, self-consciously. 

Nick started laughing. “Harry, are you alright? You just started blushing.”

“No, I didn’t!” Harry instantly replied in a high pitched voice, “But, uh, yeah I’m fine.”

“Okay, well,” Nick said, sounding amused by Harry’s discomfort, “if you fancy One Direction – which one is your favourite?” 

The room went silent; waiting for Harry’s answer. Louis held his breath. 

It was Nick who broke the silence when he laughed again. “ _See?_ Now you’re blushing again!” 

“No, I’m not,” Harry grumbled, “Shut up.”

“No need to be embarrassed. Just tell us who you’re favourite is.”

There was a beat of silence before Harry answered. “I don’t have one.”

Louis’ heart dropped. Which was silly. Really silly. 

“Oh, come off it!” Nick argued. “Everyone does. Just tell us which one it is.”

Harry sighed. “Okay, fine,” he said, sounding defeated. He continued in a grave, quiet voice, “It’s, um, Louis. Louis Tomlinson.”

For some reason, that didn’t even make Louis feel better at all. 

“ _Louis?_ ” Nick asked, sounding surprised. Which, yeah. Fuck you, too. “Wouldn’t have guessed. Why him?” 

There was another beat of silence before Harry answered. “I don’t really want to talk about that, to be honest.” 

Something inside of Louis snapped. Harry sounded upset. Like, really upset. And if there was anyone on the planet who never deserved to be upset; it was him. 

It felt almost intruding listening to this conversation. Louis wasn’t sure if he was allowed to be listening; it felt too private, too fragile, and suddenly the entire room felt suffocating. No, he definitely shouldn’t be listening to this. 

“Maybe we should turn it off,” Louis mumbled, looking down on his hands. 

“No, I want to hear what else he says,” Niall said. 

Despite himself, Louis remained seated. 

“Alright, touchy subject,” Nick laughed, “Let’s drop boy bands and focus on you instead. You said you would sing a song of your own, is that information status correct?”

“It is correct, yeah.”

“Cool,” Nick said, “Would you like to tell us the name of it, and why you’ve chosen it?” 

“Yes," Harry said. "The song I’ve chosen to sing today is called “Don’t let me go” and I’ve chosen it for a couple of reason. One, is that I think it’s one of the strongest songs I’ve written. Two, I just think it’s relevant to me, personally, at the moment. Just, if I only get to sing one song on the radio, I’d like it to be this one.” 

“That’s beautiful, Harry.” 

“Thanks.”

“Before you go,” Nick said, “I’d like to thank you for coming, and I’ll see you tomorrow in school.”

“It was my pleasure,” Harry said. “And I will see you, then.” He then added, “and bye and thank you so much to everyone’s listening. Hope you like the song!”

When Harry had left, Nick continued talking. “Now that Harry’s left to prepare his guitar, I think I might as well tell you that the school I’m attending are having our annual talent-show this Monday. So, I want you as a listener to call in and tell me whether I should twerk or give a try at beatboxing. I will do whatever gets the most votes, and then post it on our website for your enjoyment.” Nick stopped talking for a second. “And I have now been informed that our guest today is ready to perform. This is Harry Styles with “Don’t let me go””.

Louis took a deep breath. He wasn’t really sure what to expect, especially since Harry had never sung any of his original songs to him before. But he knew that Harry was an amazing singer, so naturally he’d rock it. And apparently, this song was personally relevant to Harry at the moment – not that Louis knew what that meant, seeing as he didn’t have any idea what was relevant to Harry at the moment. School? Louis doubted he’d sing about homework, though. 

When the first stroke of the guitar came through the speakers, Louis grabbed the couch with his right hand tightly, preparing himself for whatever would come next. The intro wasn’t especially long, and when Harry finally started singing, it was like an electric shock went through Louis’ body. 

“Now you were standing there right in front of me  
I hold on it's getting harder to breathe  
All of a sudden these lights are blinding me  
I never noticed how bright they would be”

Louis absolutely couldn’t breathe. His body was ice cold and he had never listened as intently to anything as he did in that precise moment.

“I saw in the corner there is a photograph  
No doubt in my mind it's a picture of you  
It lies there alone in its bed of broken glass  
This bed was never made for two”

The chorus came, and Louis was positive he’d have stroke. Or die somehow. Cause unknown. 

“Don't let me  
Don't let me  
Don't let me go  
'Cause I'm tired of feeling alone”

Somehow, he didn’t die. A miracle, really, seeing as he couldn’t breathe and it felt as if his entire body would explode any second. Maybe he had died and did, in fact, experience this as a ghost. It would explain why this felt like an out of body experience. 

The song continued. 

“Seems like these days I watch you from afar  
Just trying to make you understand  
I'll keep my eyes wide open yeah”

Louis was shaking. Because that was too much. That could really only mean one thing. And it sure wasn’t homework. A hand started to gently stroke him on the back. He hardly even felt it. The outside world didn’t exit. 

The chorus came again.

When the music got quieter, Louis could tell the song was reaching its end. When Harry sang the last part in his ordinary rough, deep voice, Louis felt a strange urge to start crying. He closed his eyes.

“Don't let me  
Don't let me go  
'Cause I'm tired of sleeping alone”

When the song was over, Louis opened his eyes and reached forward to the remote and turned off the radio. The room went dead-silent, neither one saying anything. Louis’ brain was completely blank. 

Slowly, Louis looked down on his compass tattoo - his tattoo represented to find his way back when things got clouded. Suddenly, everything was crystal clear. He knew what was missing. He knew where to find it. Standing up, he could feel Niall and Liam’s eyes fixated on him. 

“I need to go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one chapter left now. Oh holy crap.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *me seven months ago* lol it'd be funny if someone wrote a oneshot about harry fangirling over louis  
> *me now* wow that sure did escelate
> 
> Jokes aside (although I wasn’t really joking tbh), final chapter – who else is emotional? :’)
> 
> Special thank you goes out to Sandy, without whom I never would have gotten the idea to spend my free time writing about a boy band member obsessing over another boy band member, because I probably wouldn’t be into this boy band at all. And for having someone to talk to irl because I probably would have gone insane otherwise.
> 
> Also a massive thank you to everyone who has read, commented and left kudos! You've made me incredibly happy and I appreciate every single one of you so much. *Liam Payne’s voice* ’Cause I can’t love you more than this, yeaaahhh! #true #you are amazing #i am a sap
> 
> Pointing out again that I don’t own One Direction, or know them personally. And I’m not trying speculate anything regarding their private lives or sexualities. This is all just fiction.
> 
> Enjoy! :)

When Harry woke up, he immediately hit the snooze button and buried his face in a pillow, groaning. _School._ No thank you. _Responsibilities._ Yuck. _Human interaction._ More like… pillow interaction. Ha. 

And Harry dozed back to sleep. 

When the snooze alarm rang the second time, Harry didn’t even bother to open his eyes when he turned it off. 

The third time, he had to – seeing as he also had to get out of bed, and given Harry’s coordination (or more, lack thereof) he would have fallen down and hurt himself if his eyes would have remained closed. And not enough to be excused out of school either, only so much that he’d curse and hate everything ever made in ten intense seconds, and then people would roll their eyes and sigh if he were to complain about it. Hence, Harry opened his eyes and remained in one piece.

Harry wasn’t usually this appose to going to school (yes he was) (or, at least the last month he has been) but today really was the worst out of the worst. The annual talent show. Great.

Harry wasn’t even sure why he complained so much. But, like, it was always the same thing. Some talented kid playing the piano, some guy rapping, and, of course, the worst was when the teachers picked out a lame song and sang it, and after going “oh wow look at us, we’re so fun and innovative and unlike other teachers – we don’t take life too seriously! Go us! Teacher spirit!” Or no, Harry took that back. Who was he even kidding? The worst part was that he never had the courage himself to perform. No point denying it – that was a big slap in the face. 

Sighing, Harry left his room and made his way downstairs where his mum sat drinking tea and reading the morning paper. She looked up when he entered. 

“Good morning,” she greeted. 

Harry walked over to the counter and poured a cup of tea to himself. “Morning.”

“Sleep well?” 

“Mhm.”

After making himself two sandwiches, Harry sat down at the table, facing his mum. 

“Excited about today?” Anne asked, dropping her chin in her hand. 

Harry sighed. Nor was he excited, nor did he want to talk about it. “Not really.”

Anne frowned slightly, her face a mix of confusion and concern. “I don’t see why you don’t want to enter, Harry. You’re so talented.” When Harry didn’t answer, she continued, looking at him pointedly. “You’re so talented that I don’t even complain when you wake me up singing at the top of your lungs at 2 am.”

Harry chuckled. “Sorry about that.” 

“Don’t apologise.” Anne smiled ruefully. “I don’t mind. It makes me proud hearing you. Makes my heart swell.”

“Oh,” Harry said, looking at her while taking a zip of his tea. “Really?”

“Absolutely,” Anne said, her expression serious. “You sound so lovely, it’s unbelievable.”

Harry blushed and put down the mug. “Thank you.”

“Just hearing you last night on the radio was incredible. I think that was what you were born to do,” Anne said, her eyes shining in the dim light. “I think you could do anything you wanted to.”

Harry looked down at his “things I can’t” tattoos and swallowed thickly. “Maybe.”

“Not ‘maybe’, Harry,” Anne said, and Harry looked up at her helplessly. She grabbed his hand, and squeezed gently. “You can. You can do absolutely anything you want to.”

 

xx

 

When Harry first spotted his school, the first thing he did was let out his mandatory sigh, and then he entered the school and he let out his mandatory groan. And today, it was worse than usual. Harry wouldn’t go as far as calling it a helpless cry of despair in the pit of hell, but close enough. Despite his mums encouraging words, he still knew he wouldn’t be performing anything. He had nothing planned and hadn’t signed himself up for anything, so it was too late now anyway. 

He spotted Nick and walked over. He was leaning against the wall, and burst out into a wide grin when he saw Harry coming. 

“Harry!” He exclaimed, and pulled him into a tight hug. “Dude, you were insanely good yesterday. Everyone at the station were in love with you when you left.” 

Harry smiled. “Oh, yeah?” 

“Absolutely,” Nick confirmed, pulling away but still beaming. “You’ll be quite a heart throb. I can sense it in my bones.” 

Harry scratched the back of his neck. “Well. Nah, I don’t think so.”

“Sure you will,” Nick disagreed. He then turned around to look at the wall where plenty of “motivating” posters hanged, especially for the occasion. Nick smirked. “Look at this one.” He was pointing at one saying “Live your dream!” Nick chuckled darkly, rolling his eyes, and looked at Harry pointedly. “If I was, I don’t think I’d be here.”

Raising his eyebrows, Harry nodded. “True, true.”

Suddenly, there was a voice behind them. “What about this one.” Harry turned around and saw Perrie standing there, pointing at another one. “”Live while you’re young””, she quoted. “Isn’t that from a One Direction song?” 

“Believe that’s “Live while we’re young”, Nick answered. “But yeah, close enough.” 

“Either way.” Perrie shrugged. “If it was intentional; lame. If not; lame.”

Harry turned around and eyed her. She wasn’t looking at him, but had her gaze directed at the poster in front of her. “I don’t think it is lame quoting something that a lot of people enjoy.”

“Oh, um.” She turned to watch Harry, seeming dumbstruck. “That’s not what I me-“

Harry cut her off. “I mean, just because a lot of people, and mostly girls, enjoy and like something doesn’t automatically mean that it’s stupid, lame or whatever. If anything, maybe it means that it’s important and should be appreciated.”

Perrie stared at Harry, who was honestly sort of expecting her to snort something feisty back, but instead she ducked her head and mumbled, “That’s not what I meant.” She turned to look at Nick with an exasperated look in her eyes. Nick nudged her slightly with his elbow, a small, encouraging smile on his lips. Harry frowned in confusion, looking at the two of them. 

Perrie turned around, and touched his arm softly. When she spoke, her voice was barely audible and she was looking down at the floor. “Um, Harry, could I talk to you for a sec? 

“Um, yeah,” Harry said, still confused. 

Perrie gestured her head to the right, and they left Nick, who started fidgeting with his phone. Maybe he was checking his Instagram or something. 

When they stopped, Harry immediately grabbed Perrie’s arm gently and looked at her wide eyed. “What’s wrong?” 

Perrie rolled her eyes before looking sheepishly down at the ground. “Nothing’s wrong,” she said, not very believable. 

“Okay,” Harry said slowly. “What did you want to talk about then?”

Perrie cleared her throat. “Um, so, I heard you on the radio yesterday.” 

“Oh,” Harry raised his eyebrows, “and?” 

“You were really good.” Perrie smiled tentatively. “Like, really, really good.”

Harry was still in loss of words. “Oh. Thank you.”

“And, um,” Perrie took a deep breath, seeming to be searching for the right words, “I guess, I, um. Wanted to apologise?”

“For?” Harry inquired, brows furrowed. 

“For being a dick to you,” Perrie groaned, sounding distressed. “I’ve said some mean things, and I’ve been so rude, and I’m really sorry.”

“Oh.” Harry blinked. “That’s okay.”

“No, Harry, it’s not okay,” Perrie disagreed, looking directly at Harry. “I shouldn’t have. You don’t deserve it.”

Harry frowned. “Why did you do it, then?” 

“I don’t know, I guess I just wanted you to notice me, or.” She started blinking rapidly, and Harry could see the water beginning to fill her eyes. “I just.” She swallowed, and looked at him. “Do you what it feels like when you want something so badly, but every day is just a reminder that you can’t have it?” 

Harry nodded. He did know what that felt like. 

“It’s like I wasn’t even there. Or you weren’t. You were always somewhere else, and you never even gave me a second glance. As if you couldn’t even see me. Sometimes I can’t even sleep at night, because it’s all that I think about. It’s like I can’t even breathe sometimes.”

Harry felt out of breath. After all, he did know exactly what that felt like. He did know what it was like to lay in bed late at night, feeling as if there was a big, empty hole in your chest. Like, when you cried, the only thing that happened was draining it further and taking the rest of the organs down with it. And you choked on your breath instead on breathing, in an attempt not to wake your mum up. 

It was one of his worst nightmares to make someone else feel like that too. 

“I understand.”

“And I handled it so badly,” Perrie rambled on, not paying attention to what Harry had said. “I don’t know, I guess I just didn’t know what to do. I just figured that I’d rather have you disliking me than being nothing at all to you. I don’t know. Just the story of my life, I guess.”

“I’m sorry.” Harry smiled as comforting as he could. In lack of knowing what to do, he leaned forward and embraced her in a tight hug. “I don’t know what to say. I’m really sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she mumbled into his neck. “It’s not your fault.” 

Harry released her and looked at her carefully. “You’ll find someone. I know you will.”

Perrie smiled faintly. “You too.” 

Harry released a sigh, and looked away. “Yeah. Maybe.”

There was a moment of silence, neither of them knowing what to say. The moment was so fragile, it left Harry uneasy. He looked at around the corridor when he spotted Nick staring inquisitively at them. When he noticed he had been caught, he immediately brought up his phone and started typing something. 

Harry coughed and looked at Perrie. “Maybe you should have a go with Nick. You’d make a good couple.”

“Nick?” Perrie repeated. “Yeah, as if he’d do me.”

“Why wouldn’t he?” 

Perrie snorted and rolled her eyes. “Because he’s gay.” 

Harry frowned. “What?” 

“What?” Perrie asked, sounding genuinely confused. “You didn’t know?” 

“No?” Harry took a step back and what. _What?_ He shot a glance at Nick who was still wrapped up with his phone. “Jesus. How long have you known?” 

Perrie shrugged. “A while, I guess. I mean, he talks about girls a lot and what he’d do to them, but you never actually see him with any.”

Harry blinked. “Now that you mention it,” he said, absentmindedly. 

“Yeah,” Perrie continued, “we we’re out drinking a week ago, and he got really drunk and started talking about how hot he thought Louis from One Direction was. It was pretty hilarious.”

Harry just stared at Perrie. _What._ “Uh.”

“I’m more of a Niall-girl myself but, sure.” When she noticed Harry’s confused expression, she quickly added, “And then he started making out with a guy with dark hair, so yeah. Definitely gay.”

Harry was still in shock. “Huh.”

“Yeah,” Perrie said absently. “Anyway, I should go now. I’m meeting up with Danielle.”

“Oh, okay.” Harry pulled her into another quick hug. “Thank you for telling me, by the way.”

“I’m sorry for being a bitch to you.” 

“Hey, none of that!” Harry frowned. “It’s okay, really. I can manage.” 

Perrie pulled away and looked at her shoes. “Yeah. Well. I’ll see you later.”

Harry nodded and she had only walked a couple of meters before she turned around one more time, looking at him with a slight smirk. 

“You know, you should be the one entering this talent show. You’re more talented than this whole school combined.”

Harry forced a smile. “Thanks.” Not likely, though. 

Perrie just nodded once more and walked away. 

 

xx

 

They were sitting in the auditory and Harry wanted to die. Not literally, but close enough. He’d been in school for a couple of hours now, and he was pretty sure it was reaching its end. Maybe this even was the final act. He was actually pretty sure it was.

The girl on stage was playing “River flows in you” by Yurima, and she was certainly good. However, Harry was determined to be in a grumpy mood today, and he was not going to falter for anything. No matter if you could perform pure magic through your fingers.

When she was done, Harry was halfway sleeping and the headmaster, whose name Harry didn’t even know, walked on stage. He was wearing a dark grey suit and was smiling brightly, and Harry sighed, expecting a boring speech about motivation, inspiration or something equally as useless. 

“Hello!” He greeted, still with a much too big smile on his face. “Hope everyone’s having a good time.”

A few people clapped their hands. Probably teachers. 

“Well, we have reached our end but you’ll be pleased to know we have a surprise for you!” 

Harry groaned. Unless the surprise was that they could go home, he wasn’t particularly interested. 

“We have a special guest joining us today.” 

Harry groaned. Unless the guest was his sister dressed up in a funny costume making a fool out of herself, he wasn’t particularly interested. 

“You probably know who he is. Two years ago he entered a contest quite similar to this one, and now he is famous all over the world. And today,” the headmaster grinned so widely and purely, Harry was sure he was going to combust with happiness, “he is here with us!”

Harry didn’t groan at that. Instead, he sat completely frozen in his seat, wondering what else was to come. He was suddenly alert, because that wasn’t at all what he was expecting. That didn’t sound like a professor from god knows where or something. The entire atmosphere in the room had changed into something tense and apprehensible. 

After grinning for another moment, looking extremely proud of himself, the headmaster said, “I am proud to present to you, Louis Tomlinson from One Direction!”

All of Harry’s air emptied his body. 

Everything happened quickly after that and Harry didn’t keep track of anything. 

People started screaming; even Nick started bouncing up and down in his seat, and someone walked on stage wearing black trousers, an adidas shirt and red vans. 

And Harry recognised that someone so well. He had hugged that someone, kissed it, and made love to it. Harry couldn’t breathe. This was not happening. This was a dream. It was the only explanation. 

The screaming got louder, and Louis was smiling with his entire face. The headmaster handed him a microphone, which Louis brought to his mouth.

“Hi,” Louis said, slightly sheepish. 

“Hello to you, Louis!” The headmaster said, not so audible due to everyone apart from Harry was either screaming or clapping their hand. “So glad you could join us here today.”

“I’m glad to be here. Holmes Chapel sure is the place to be.”

Harry pinched himself but he didn’t wake up. Strange. 

“Couldn’t have said it better myself,” the headmaster giggled. _Giggled._ He’s like, what, ancient. “Anyway, I understand you will be singing a song to us today.”

“Yeah, I will.” Louis smiled. “I really wanted to sing a Grease, or a High School Musical song, but then I dismissed that idea. Instead I’m going to sing a song that’s quite, what do you say, relevant to myself personally, at the moment.”

“Right.”

“No One Direction song, though, sorry,” Louis added quickly. “Can’t do that without Liam and Niall.”

Some people cheered and one girl shouted ‘I love you, Louis!’

“That’s fine. We’re just really happy that you’re here,” the man on stage said, and his smile did not contradict this statement. 

“Great,” Louis said, not quite matching up to his enthusiasm. “Anyway, the song I’ll be singing is one of my favourites. It’s called “Look after you” and it’s by The Fray.”

Harry’s body was so numb at this point he didn’t know what to do. 

“Alright, I will leave you to it then!” The headmaster gave Louis one pat on the shoulder, for comfort probably but Harry guessed he just wanted an excuse to touch a celebrity, before leaving the stage. 

Standing up there alone, Louis coughed, and looked out at the audience, his eyes searching. “I want to dedicate to someone, but I’m too shy to say who. Hopefully, the person will just know.”

Fuck. Harry looked around at the people around him, who all stared at Louis with starry eyes. Harry knew. 

The piano intro started playing, Harry held his breath and Louis started singing. 

“If I don't say this now I will surely break  
As I'm leaving the one I wanna take  
Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait  
My heart has started to separate

Oh oh oh, oh oh oh, be my baby  
Oh oh oh, oh oh  
Oh oh oh, oh oh oh, be my baby  
I'll look after you”

Louis walked around the stage in his professional, skilled manner, but the performance still had a special hint to it. 

"There now, steady, love, so few come and don't go  
Will you, won't you be the one I'll always know?  
When I'm losing my control the city spins around  
You're the only one who knows how to slow it down"

Harry couldn’t breathe. The song continued and when it got somewhere near the end, Louis started singing at the top of his lungs. 

“It's always have and never hold  
You've begun to feel like home, yeah  
What's mine is yours to leave or take  
What's mine is yours to make your own”

Harry wanted to cry, because this was too confusing. He didn’t know what was happening. Why was Louis here? Why was he singing this? Why did he dedicate it to him? Why, why, why. Yet, all he could do was sit up straighter and stare at the beautiful boy in front of him. Why could wait. He wanted to enjoy this, if even for just another minute. 

“Oh oh oh, oh oh oh, be my baby  
Oh oh oh, oh oh  
Oh oh oh, oh oh oh, be my baby  
Oh oh oh, oh oh”

The song ended. 

The audience cheered and Louis bowed. 

“Now,” he said, grinning, “I know that there is someone else really talented in this audience. A much better singer than I am, frankly.” 

Instinctively, Harry ducked his head slumbered down in his seat.

“And I want that person to get on this stage, right now.”

Harry swallowed. Fuck. Maybe he was talking about Nick. He’s good at … talking. 

“Come on, Curly, I know you’re here.”

And well. That was it. Louis was definitely talking about him, which he’d assumed for a while, but yeah. And he was not one to leave Louis hanging. 

Harry stood up and Nick looked at him wide eyed, absolutely gobsmacked. 

“Do you know him?” He hissed, pointing at Louis. 

Harry made a dismissive sound. “I don’t know. Sort of?” And then he walked away, leaving Nick to stare at his back. 

When he was walking through the big aisle, Louis spotted him. His entire face lit up. 

“Mr Harry Styles!” Louis shouted into the microphone, and the entire school cheered. 

Harry’s cheeks were burning with heat, and he kept his head down as he hurriedly made his way over to the stage where Louis was standing. 

When he got there, he stopped and gestured for Louis to come forward, which he did and bended down to his knees so he was at Harry’s eye level. 

“What’s up?” Louis whispered happily, the microphone lying on the ground beside him. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” Harry hissed, looking at Louis in bewilderment. “Seriously. Why the fuck are you here and what the fuck is this?” 

“Jeez, thanks for the warm welcome.” Louis rolled his eyes. “Stop yourself before you get too emotional. Yuck.” 

“ _Lou,_ ” Harry whined, sounding like a petulant child, “the whole school is watching.”

Louis gave him a puzzled look. “So?”

“ _So,_ ” Harry said, his cheeks still fiercely warm and his eyes beginning to tear up, “shit, I don’t know. I don’t want to do this.”

“Why not?” Louis asked, tracing the desperation in Harry’s voice. “You’ll totally charm the socks off everyone in this room.”

Funny how I’ll charm the socks off everyone in this room yet I didn’t manage to charm yours off. “Likely.” 

“Extremely likely, Harry,” Louis insisted. He then shrugged, and added, “Or maybe not that douche best friend of yours. I got a weird feeling in my stomach about him.” Louis shuddered.

Harry frowned. “Who? You mean Nick?” 

“Yeah, Nick,” Louis confirmed. “I listened to the radio show and you were so incredible. And I went here to you know, tell you that, but then I remembered Nick mentioning something about a talent show and I just figured this was the closest I’ll ever come to living my dream of being in a real life musical. I mean, it was too good to resist. Fate, if you will.”

Harry stared at him. “Right.”

Louis stared back, looking as if he had a ton of more things to say when suddenly a male voice behind Harry shouted, “Dude, are you going to sing, or what?” 

Frowning, Louis yelled back in an annoyed voice, “Just one second!” he then turned to look at Harry again, meeting his eyes. “Look, remember the first time we actually spoke? And not that time when you were hangover and without any trousers on, and had been hiding in toilet, and blushed at literally everything I said and tried to hide your boner. But that time some hour later when we actually sat down on the on the bed and talked?”

Just everything you said, how you said it, how you smelled, how close you sat, how you sat and just about everything else too. “Might recall.”

“Yeah, well, remember how I told you I had to get your autograph because I knew you’d be famous?” 

“Uh-huh.”

“I meant that,” Louis said, looking Harry in the eye. “You have something special Harry, and I could tell right away. I just knew. And I want more people than me to be able to see that. Starting with these people right here.”

Harry swallowed. “I don’t know –“

“What are you afraid of?” 

Harry opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. He only looked at Louis exasperatedly.

“Do you trust me?” Louis asked when Harry remained silent. 

Harry looked at Louis thoroughly before nodding. Despite everything, he did. 

Smiling, Louis stood up and extended his hand for Harry to grab. “Well, come on then.”

Swallowing, Harry grabbed Louis' hand and jumped onto the stage. The audience started cheering. Harry kept his eyes on Louis. 

Louis stepped closer and whispered in his ear, “Just do “Isn’t she lovely” by Stevie Wonder, like you did for me. You’ll be amazing. Trust me.”

Smiling, Louis backed off and suddenly every feeling hit Harry at once. Louis was here. Louis had heard him on the radio. Louis had come to see him. Louis had dedicated a song to him. The audience was clapping their hands. Louis was smiling. 

Harry felt brave.

He smiled back. “Okay.”

Louis bent down to grab the microphone on the floor, before standing up again. “I present to you now,” he said into the microphone, grinning, “Harry Styles!”

Louis handed over the microphone before jogging off the stage, leaving Harry alone. 

“Uh, hi,” Harry said. “I’m Harry. Which you probably all know by now.”

“Marry me, Harry!” Josh shouted. 

Harry searched the crowd for where Josh was sitting, and found him on the front row, looking smug. 

“Um, no thank you,” Harry declined, politely. “Um, but I am going to sing “Isn’t she lovely” by Stevie Wonders.”

Josh whistled in reply. 

Harry turned to the right and saw Louis standing there, beaming, and his eyes shining. Harry smiled back and cleared his throat before singing. 

"Isn't she lovely  
Isn't she wonderful  
Isn't she precious  
Less than one minute old  
I never thought through love we'd be  
Making one as lovely as she  
But isn't she lovely made from love"

When he was done, the audience started clapping their hands, but Harry instantly looked to his right to see Louis’ reaction. And to Harry’s surprise, he was sprinting towards him. Harry stood still and when Louis reached him, he embraced Harry in a tight hug, and Harry revelled in the heat which came coursing through his body. 

“You did so well,” Louis whispered into his ear. 

Harry pulled him in closer. “Thank you.” 

After what seemed like one millisecond, but was probably longer, Louis pulled away, and Harry noticed in his peripheral vision the headmaster entering the stage as well. Great. 

He took the microphone from Harry’s hand. “Thank you so much for that performance,” he said. “And that was the end of our show today. Hope you enjoyed it.”

Louis grabbed Harry’s wrist and quickly pulled him off the stage, somewhere backstage. When they stopped, Louis gave him a slightly alarmed look. 

“Prepare yourself. Shit’s gonna get crazy,” he said. 

Harry frowned. “Um, what do you me-“ he began, but was interrupted by a door being smashed open and four girls he faintly recognised entering, shrieking excitedly as if they’d just seen Santa Claus for the first time.

“Oh boy,” Louis whispered, his eyes widening. 

“Hi!”

“Hey!”

“Oh my god!”

“Jesus!”

Louis smiled tentatively. “Hey!”

Harry backed slightly, giving them some space. Space he didn’t particularly want to give, because he wanted to be as close to Louis as possibly. But the situation didn’t offer much of a choice. 

Louis started signing some things, notebooks and such, but he kept looking back at Harry, as if to make sure he was still there. Harry never moved even the slightest. 

“Um, excuse me,” Louis said, and moved away from the girls and towards Harry. When they facing each other, Louis whispered, “Hey, do you know a way to get out of here? Like, without drawing too much attention to us?” 

Harry smiled at the use of “us”, and said, “Yeah, follow me.”

Louis waved good bye to the girls before he and Harry walked through an emergency door which led directly out of the building, to an empty schoolyard. Or so it seemed for a while, until another door opened, and out came Nick, Perrie, Danielle and Josh. Harry cursed everything ever made. 

“Harry!” Nick yelled, and started running towards them. “Wait up!”

Harry looked at Louis exasperatedly. “I swear don’t know them!” He blurted out. 

Louis raised one eyebrow, unconvinced. 

The four of them stopped in front of Harry and Louis. Nick and Perrie stared at Louis starstrucked, and Danielle jumped up and down in excitement. Josh was the only one who remained fairly composed. 

“Hey!” Nick said and offered his hand for Louis to shake. “I’m Nick. I’m a huge fan.”

“ _Oh._ So you’re Nick?” Louis asked, shaking his hand. 

Harry wanted to face palm himself. 

“Yeah, that is what I just said,” Nick said, grinning. “Look, I’m a host of my own radio show, and I was wondering if maybe you’d be interested in –“

“No,” Louis cut him off. 

Nick seemed to be caught by surprise. “Um, no?” 

“No,” Louis repeated. 

Nick stared at him gobsmacked, but Louis' attention was interrupted by Perrie embracing him in a hug. 

“I love you so much, Louis,” she said. “You’re totally my favourite.”

Harry snorted. “Shut up, Perrie, your favourite is Niall.”

Louis turned to look at him, smiling smugly. “How would you know that if you don’t know them?” 

“Uh,” Harry looked back and forward between Perrie and Louis, “because she walks around with an “I love Niall” shirt. Like, constantly.”

“Yeah, as if,” Perrie said, and removed herself from Louis, but her left arm remained around his shoulder to Harry’s dismay. 

“Well, it was nice meeting you Perrie,” Louis said, with an arm around her waist. 

“I’m Danielle!” Danielle exclaimed out of the blue, in a high-pitched voice. 

“Ah,” Louis said. “Nice meeting you too, Danielle.”

“And I’m Josh!” Josh exclaimed, mimicking Danielle’s voice. Harry rolled his eyes. He really did have the worst, most embarrassing friends ever. However, instead of attacking Louis, Josh rushed forward to Harry and started shaking his shoulders. “I’m your biggest fan ever, Harry! Marry me! I want to have your curly haired babies!” 

Harry scuffed and pushed Josh off him. “Fuck off, Josh.”

Josh started fake crying. “But I _love_ you.”

Harry sighed exasperatedly and looked at Louis, who was following the conversation with a bemused expression. 

“Yes, well, it’s not mutual so.”

Josh gasped in offense. “Ugh, I hate you so much.” He went to stand next to Nick, and put an arm around his shoulder. “See? I’ve replaced you already.”

“I can live with that,” Harry said, watching the two of them. “You make a cute couple.”

“Thank you,” Josh said. “I think so too.”

“Anyway,” Louis interrupted, and pulled his hand away from Perrie’s waste, “as lovely as this has been, me and Harry need to leave now.”

Harry’s body heated up. _Me and Harry. Me and Harry need to leave._

“How the fuck do you guys even know each other?” Nick, not so eloquently, asked. 

Harry and Louis shared a look. 

“We’re, eh, acquainted,” Louis finally said, not quite answering the question. 

“And you never thought to tell us?” Nick demanded, looking at Harry who only shrugged in response. Because, well, no? 

“He doesn’t tell us anything,” Josh told Louis. Harry really wished he would just stop talking now. “He’s been a moody wanker all month, just keeping to himself and shit, and he hasn’t even told us why. Probably thinks we haven’t noticed.”

Louis’ face fell. “Oh.”

“Maybe you can pull it out of him.”

Louis looked at Harry, and for the first time since his return, he looked positively sad. “I hope so.”

Harry had had enough of this conversation. “Well, um, as Louis said, this had been lovely,” he said, and walked forward, grabbing Louis by the arm, taking him with him. “But we need to go. Goodbye, strangers.”

“Bye!” Louis called as they walked away. 

They had only been walking for a couple of meters when Harry heard his friends shout things at their backs.

“Consider my offer!” Nick yelled. 

“Love you, Louis!” Danielle yelled. 

“Tell Niall we should get married!” Perrie yelled. 

“Marry me, Harry!” Josh yelled. “I promise the thing with Nick was only a fling! I’ll be faithful forever!” 

Harry rolled his eyes. “Swear, I don’t know them. Bloody stalkers.”

“Stalkers, huh?” Louis repeated, chuckling. “I’m sure.”

Harry opened his mouth to say something, but ended up only shrugging, because his brain wasn’t functioning the way it should. It was like one of those moments where you need your brain to work so badly, it ends up not working at all. Like when you’re taking a test you want to ace, but at the first question you just go “uh, what” and can’t think of a single thing to say. But this was worse, because this was Louis, not a stupid test. This was the test of his life.

The thing was that this was so absurd. Like, absurd doesn’t even begin to cover it. Like it was a dream, but such a strange dream that when you’d wake up, you’d go “what the fuck” and then tell all your friends about the absurdity of it. And then add some absurdity to that. 

Because there was no way Louis was actually here and walking next to Harry. There was no way he had just performed in front of Harry’s school. There was no way he had just convinced _Harry_ to perform in front of his school. There was no way he had just met Harry’s friends. And there was no way Louis was actually here and walking next to Harry.

Harry glanced to his right, but there he was. His face seemed a bit off though, from the usual carefree, giddy look he usually had. There was a focused line in between his brows and he was looking down on his feet. 

At once, Harry felt anxious. Sure, Louis was here, but why? Apparently, he had heard Harry on the radio – but what did that mean? Harry didn’t know anything. 

“So, uh,” Harry began, looking hesitantly at Louis, “what, I mean, what do you want to do now?”

Louis glanced at Harry. “I was thinking maybe we could just talk for a bit.”

“Yeah, sure,” Harry said. He looked around at his surroundings. “Um, there’s a park over there. We could maybe sit down somewhere. It’s usually never anyone there, so we shouldn’t get ambushed or anything.”

“Sounds great,” Louis replied.

In silence, they walked over to the park in which Harry had spent tons of childhood memories. He gestured them over to a small spot secured my trees and bushes. They sat down. Harry noticed Louis watching the area around them, but they were the only ones there. 

“Here we are,” Louis said, somewhat awkwardly. 

“Uh, yeah,” Harry replied, probably sounding ever more awkward. 

They looked at each other uncertainly. The silence lingered. 

“So, the school you’re attending is cool,” Louis finally said, looking down on the ground. He started picking up grass with his right hand. Harry wondered if he was nervous. Probably not, because why would he be? 

“You think?” Harry countered, raising an eyebrow. 

Louis shrugged. “Meh. I mean, as far as school-standards go, I guess.” He looked up Harry timidly. “Doesn’t beat Hogwarts, though.”

“I’m still waiting for my acceptance letter, to be honest.” 

Louis chuckled quietly, but it never reached his eyes. “Same.”

Harry nodded.

It went quiet again, and to Harry, it felt oppressive. He as a person usually had an easy time conversing with people. He was a naturally easy going person, and never really had a problem feeling comfortable around other people. 

And even so with Louis. They had hit it off from the moment they had laid their eyes on each other. But now, all Harry could feel was discomfort in his whole body. 

Harry’s mind went back to their last night together. The concert and Louis’ final words. _It’s not going to be worth it_ and _it’s not like you actually thought it’d work out did you?_ Words which have been going on through repeat in his mind the last month, because _yes._ Yes, I thought it was going to work out and yes, I thought it’d be worth it. You would have been worth it. 

His stomach hurt but he had to ask. 

“Why are you here?” Harry’s voice was quiet, barely audible. He felt uncomfortable saying it out loud, afraid of what the answer might be. Maybe he had forgotten about something back in London, and Louis had just come to bring it back, and decided to do it as dramatically as possible. Harry didn’t want to get his hopes up. 

“I, um,” Louis said, indecisively. “Just kind of needed to talk to you.”

“Okay. About?” 

Louis chuckled self-consciously, and started picking up straws of grass again. “This is going to sound so silly.”

“No, Lou,” Harry said, frowning. “It’s not going to sound silly. Not at all.”

“Yeah, it will.”

“Please stop,” Harry pleaded, getting a bit impatient at this point. “Just tell me.”

Louis looked up and his blue eyes met Harry’s. They looked sad. Louis swallowed. “Have you ever felt so stupid that you just wanted to punch yourself in the face repeatedly? And then throw yourself off a bridge? And then punch yourself again?”

“Something like that, I guess,” Harry said, still frowning. 

“Okay, well, because that’s how I, I mean –“Louis cut himself off, and looked at Harry hesitantly. “Haz, can I ask you something?” 

“Anything.”

“After the concert, you know –“

“Yeah?”

Louis looked at Harry carefully. “Did I hurt you? I mean, when I said the things I said – did I hurt you?” 

_Of course you did._ Harry saw no point in lying. “Yeah. Yeah, you did. Quite a lot. I mean, you just riled me up just to disappoint me completely, and you didn’t even seem bothered by it at all.”

Louis looked unbelievably said again. “Yeah, that’s what I, um.” He put his hands in his lap. “That was never my intention.”

“I know.” Harry did know. Just the same way he never intentionally hurt Perrie, the same way was it that Louis hadn’t intentionally hurt Harry. Inevitable pain was just the natural way of life, and Harry knew that. “Is that why you’re here? To apologise?” 

“I guess.” Louis’ voice was faint and distant. 

Harry couldn’t help the disappointment curling in his stomach. He wasn’t exactly expecting an epic love speech, he knew by now not to get his hopes up, but he still had to blink his eyes to keep them dry. 

“Okay, well. You don’t need to do that. Really, it’s fine. I’m fine. You don’t need to feel bad.”

“No, I should,” Louis argued. “I really should and I do. But I guess I also wanted to explain? Like why I behaved the way I did?” 

“Okay,” Harry drawled. He was pretty sure why Louis had said the thing he did, but if it gave him some kind of closure, then who was Harry to deny him that? “Shoot.”

Louis took a deep breath. “Well, first of all, this is a stupid excuse, but after the show, I guess I was just filled with so much adrenaline and excitement that I wasn’t really thinking at all. I was just ready to go partying, to be honest.”

Harry thought of how he’d spent the whole night at the cold train station. “Okay.” 

“And, um,” Louis looked at Harry for a moment, before blurting out, “fuck, Harry, you look so sad.” 

Harry blushed, and looked away, uncomfortable. “I’m _fine._ Please continue.”

Louis covered his face with his hands, and groaned, “I feel awful.”

“No, just, don’t.” Harry nudged him with his foot. “Just continue.”

Louis took another deep breath. “I think, kind of, if I need to properly explain this, I need to go back in time a bit.”

“Alright.”

Louis laughed self-consciously again. “This is going to sound so silly.”

“Stop saying that. It won’t.”

“The thing is that I’ve already talked to you about this once. Right before we got our tattoos, I told you how trapped I felt in my industry. How excruciating it is to have your freedom limited, and having the most essential parts if yourself being suppressed, only to be made into some kind of product for other people’s liking.”

Harry blinked. “Yeah. I remember.”

“Which is kind of funny, because you are the only person, ever, that I’ve told that to.”

“Okay.” Harry didn’t see what was funny about that. 

“And, uh.” Louis frowned. “I’ve felt like that ever since the X-factor. Even before we got big. Like, I’ve always had this uncomfortable, restless feeling in my gut. And sometimes I just felt so lonely I couldn’t breathe. I think I’ve always just wanted someone who would stick around, which was is pretty difficult when you’re doing what I’m doing. And I think I’ve always pushed people away by instinct, because I’ve always known things wouldn’t work out anyway.”

Harry nodded, urging Louis to continue. 

“And I guess, I just didn’t want to postpone my problems on to you. I didn’t want to you get my problems by default. I didn’t think it’d be worth it for you to be dragged down in my shit, just because you wanted to hang out with me.” 

Harry felt out of breath. “Oh.” 

“And I thought that you’d understand that, since I had sort of told you about that already. That it was pretty much a given. But maybe you didn’t.”

“No.” Harry shook his head. “I didn’t.”

“However, I still feel that way. I still don’t want you to be dragged down in my shit. I don’t want you to have to hide your feelings and always have to shoot a glance over your shoulder.” Louis sighed before looking at Harry hesitantly. “I want you to be able to have an open relationship, Harry. Which is why I feel incredibly selfish about what I’m about to say.”

The air was thick.

“Which is?” Harry asked, after an excruciating silence. 

“I think I’ve figured out why I was really so lost.”

“And?”

“Like, through the X-factor, our first tour and our second tour. And it’s been so present this last month, it’s really been painfully obvious.”

The chilly air created goose bumps on Harry’s skin, and he inhaled on deep breath, trying to keep himself grounded, preparing himself for what may come. Louis was looking at him intently, as if we was searching for an answer to a question unasked. Harry stared back, his body cold. The sun made Louis’ skin glow. Which was funny, since it was clouded. 

Harry stared at Louis. Louis stared at Harry. 

Louis finally spoke. 

“I think you were the piece of the puzzle that was always missing.”

Harry’s mouth hung open, but he remained silent. 

Louis broke eye contact and looked down on the ground, blinking. A rush of fondness came rushing through Harry’s body. He couldn’t help himself, but reached out his right hand to touch Louis’ face, bending his head up to meet Harry’s eyes. Neither one of them said anything; yet, the silence wasn’t oppressive, but left a comfortable feeling in the depth of Harry’s gut. 

“You don’t hate me?” Louis asked, his smile careful and his eyes sad. 

“I could never, Lou,” Harry whispered. His hand moved down Louis’ chin down to his throat, continuing to his collarbones. Harry just wanted to touch. 

Louis’ eyes never left Harry’s face, but he shuffled closer so they were only inches apart. He put both his hands on Harry’s hips, and his eyes held a question. 

Harry looked over his shoulder, to make sure they were still alone, before answering Louis’ unspoken question and closed the gap beneath their mouths, pressing his lips gently against Louis’, hoping to convey every little feeling which was burning inside of his skin in that exact moment. 

Louis’ lips were just as gentle, kissing back softly, while opening his mouth to give Harry access.

Harry’s mind went back to their last night together. _It’s not going to be worth it._ Louis had been talking about himself. 

Harry pulled away. 

“It’ll be worth it.” Harry’s hand moved up to cup his chin again. “You’re worth everything, Lou.” 

Louis blinked. “Where have you been all my life?” 

“Right here.” Harry gesture to the park they were sitting in. “Literally right here. My whole life.”

Louis smiled gravely. “You know what you’re getting yourself into?”

“No,” Harry admitted. “I don’t have any idea.” 

Louis scrunched his nose. “Ignorance is bliss.”

“But whatever it is, however fucked up it’ll be, it’ll be worth it. At least it’ll be worth a shot.”

Louis smiled, and it finally reached his eyes, making his eyes crinkle. Harry’s heart sped up at the sight. “I guess.”

“Damn straight.” Harry leaned closer and whispered in his ear, “Besides, if it’s privacy you want, I have a perfectly private bedroom not too far from here. With a perfectly private bed.” 

Laughing, Louis pushed Harry off him. “Cheeky bastard.”

“What?” Harry exclaimed, laughing as well. “I just figured if we’re going to do this whole secret relationship thing, maybe having public sex isn’t the way to start things out.” 

Louis rolled his eyes. “Wow, aren’t you considerate.”

“Just for you, baby.” Harry grinned. “My mum may be home though, so you might run into her.”

“Can’t wait for that introduction,” Louis changed the tone in his voice, “’Hi, this is Louis, famous member of One Direction. We’ve known each other for one week, but we’ve decided to give it a shot anyway, even though it’ll probably cause us both a lot of mental instability and stress.’”

Harry frowned. “It sounds a bit weird when you put it like that.” He then shrugged. “Whatever, though. She’s open-minded.”

Louis gave him a look. “The rest of the world won’t be.”

They shared a long look before Harry finally shrugged again. “Well, all social change comes from the passion of individuals.”

“Margaret Mead, right?”

“Yeah.”

Louis was silent for a moment, before saying, “I think we should go home to your place, though. I really want to hear the rest of your songs. I heard you on the radio, and you were so amazing. That was the second thing I was going to say when I got here. Gave me shills through my entire body.” 

Harry’s body was filled with a fuzzy warm feeling. “Thanks. And, yeah, let’s go.”

They stood up. Louis nudged Harry with his elbow. “Don’t think I’ve forgotten about us collaborating.”

Harry laughed, and they started walking in the direction of his home. “Of course not. I fully intend to take advantage of that.”

“One Direction, featuring Harry Styles.” 

Harry smirked. “Harry Styles, featuring One Direction.”

Louis smiled. “Louis and Harry.”

“Harry and Louis.” 

Louis was still smiling, his face practically glowing. “If you want, I could like give you the number of some people. If you want to get signed.”

Harry stopped. Of course he wanted that. “You could do that? I mean, I don’t want to take advantage of you or anything.”

“Nah, it’s not a problem.” Louis waved his hand dismissively. “And if worst comes to worst, I could just mention you in an interview or something.”

Harry pulled Louis into a tight hug. “You’re the best.” 

Louis patted him on the back. “I’m aware.” 

Pulling away, Harry rolled his eyes. “Wanker.”

Louis’ phone started ringing. He picked it up from his pocket, and looked at the caller ID, grinning. “It’s Niall,” he said, smugly. “Should I lie and said I’m in New York or Sydney?” 

Harry considered this. “Tokyo.”

“Tokyo it is.” Louis picked up the phone. “Konichiwa!”

When Louis walked away, rambling something about Hello Kitty cravings, Harry picked up his own phone. He opened Tumblr and wrote a text post. 

__

> _I got him._

_#mine #happy #hes an idiot though #dont know why I bother #kidding hes the best im so lucky #and hes extremely attractive I must say #im thinking about dropping out of school and pursuing a music career #mum says I can do anything #maybe I can #maybe I will_

Harry hit ‘post’ when he heard Louis call out to him. 

“Hey, Haz!”

Harry pocketed his phone and walked to where Louis was standing, waiting for him. “Yeah?”

“Just, if Niall wonders, tell him we took a spontaneous trip to Japan because you have a weird Hello Kitten fetish and had to get the exact right ears.” 

Harry barked a laughter. “He’s never going to believe that.” 

“Worth a shot.”

Harry snorted. “Yeah, worth a shot when you’re not the one having to lie about an embarrassing ear fetish.”

“Well, to be fair, it’s a bit unsettling knowing your best friend might be imagining you with cat ears right now.”

At that, Harry suddenly imagined Louis on his knees for him, looking up with innocent eyes through his long eyelashes and having cat ears sticking up from his messy brown hair. Harry was so screwed. 

“Um, now that I’m thinking about it, maybe we should take a spontaneous trip to Japan.” Harry smirked and waggled his eyebrows suggestively. 

“Maybe another time,” Louis laughed. “But now –“

“Yeah?”

Louis smirked Harry had to refrain himself from not kissing that smug look right off his face. He knew that was a thing he wouldn’t be able to do here, out on an open street. But that was okay. Because he would kiss every inch of his body once they were home. And also, because Louis was worth it.

They were worth it. 

Louis stepped closer and traced his hand gently along Harry’s arm, while looking up at him, his eyes sparkling. 

“Take me home.”

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have questions, separation issues or anything else, you can always find me on [Tumblr](http://djunglehaz.tumblr.com)
> 
> That's it. Again, thank you for reading. Take care!


	19. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I wasn't actually planning on writing this, but I had a lot of people asking what happened with Ziam and Zarry, so I wrote this to give some sort of closure. I'm a good person like that. 
> 
> Hope you like it!

#### 10 months later. 

 

**Zayn’s POV:**

 

From: Harry

_ZaaayyyNNnnn omfggGG can you give me like another set of lungs bc I can’tt breathe idkkk ?????_

From: Zayn

_Mate relax_

From: Harry

_KLhkskdkjsbkjdjf you relax_

From: Zayn

_Just take a deep breath okay, you’ll do great_

Harry:

_Eyyy Macarena :D :D :D_

From: Zayn

_You are not even making any sense_

 

Zayn rolled his eyes, when he felt a body heat coming up from behind him. A second later, there was a large pair of hands on his hips and a hot breath on the back of his neck. 

“Who are you texting, babe?” Liam’s voice asked. 

Now, Zayn wasn’t a thirteen old girl, so naturally he didn’t get butterflies in his stomach, an uncontrollable smile on his face and he did certainly _not_ blush. 

“Uh,” Zayn stuttered, and when he meant to turn around he somehow ended up accidentally dropping the phone to the floor. “Shit,” he muttered and bend down to grab it. When he stood up again, awkwardly smoothing out his jeans, Liam was grinning at him. 

“You okay?” 

Zayn put the phone in his pocket and shrugged nonchalantly. “Yeah, all good.”

“Okay, great,” Liam said, blinding him with his smile. They hadn’t seen each other in a while, for almost a month; Zayn being busy with university and Liam busy being an international superstar. Zayn could feel time apart in his bones when he looked at him. Liam must have noticed his change in expression because his smile immediately faded and was replaced by a worried frown. “Hey, honestly, are you okay?”

Zayn looked down at his feet. “Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Liam took a step forward and put a hand on his arm. “Come on, babe, none of that. Look at me.”

Slowly, Zayn raised his head and met Liam’s warm, hazel brown eyes. 

“You know I want you to tell me if something’s bothering you. You know you can tell me everything, right?”

It sometimes made Zayn sad how considerate and kind his boyfriend was. Once, Zayn had told he had a hard time analysing Jane Eyre for a book assignment at uni, and Liam had actually read the entire book just to give his opinions. They had all been a bit shitty and kind of useless, but it was the thought that counts.

“I know,” Zayn said. “I’ve just missed you, is all.”

“I’ve missed you too. So much,” Liam said, his eyes wide and honest. “You know I wish I could be with you every day.”

“I know.” Zayn smiled. He knew that. 

“And don’t you forget it,” Liam insisted, his brown eyes directed at Zayn, the way he did when he was giving him his full attention. It was the best feeling in the world to Zayn; the feeling like you were the only one present. The only one that mattered. Hence why he felt a slight disappointment when Liam looked away, saying, “Louis and Niall are bringing the drinks, by the way.”

“Alright.”

As if on cue, Louis and Niall entered the picture, both with drinks in their hands. 

It was pretty funny how Zayn no longer felt giddy and nervous in front of Niall or Louis. How Louis no longer was, _oh my god Louis_ , and more the guy who broke his best friend’s heart, and made him ignore all of Zayn’s emails and phone calls for one month and now has turned into his best friends’ boyfriend. 

It had been a pretty strange month for Zayn - the one after the concert. Liam and him and met up the day after, and it had pretty much been the best day of Zayn’s life. They hadn’t done anything particular, really, just hung out at Liam’s place and played some FIFA. But what had been good was the conversation they had had. And of course, the good bye kiss hadn’t been too bad, either. 

One kiss which led to a make out session the next day, which led to a lot of texts and phone calls the next week when Zayn went back to school, which had led to Liam visiting the next weekend, and then one thing led to another and there was suddenly a loss of clothes and a lot of panting and touching. And it went on throughout the month; the visits, the phone calls, the sex. Zayn had been on cloud nine, basically. Which made him feel bad that his best friend was actively ignoring him. 

Liam had kept telling him to calm down, and play it cool; Louis knew what he was doing and so did Harry… probably. He just needed time. So Zayn gave him time. But it was hard giving him time when all he wanted to give him was a long hug and an ‘it will be fine, I’m here, you’ll be fine’. 

But things did work out fine. Eventually. After that whole messy month, Harry had told him he’d stayed away because he had been jealous of what he and Liam had had, which Zayn obviously could understand. He hadn’t pushed it.

“Here you go,” Louis said and handed over a mojito to him.

“Thanks,” Zayn replied. He took a zip out of his minty mojito and watched as Louis took one out of his Sex on a Beach. He felt calm. After all it was just Louis; just the dude Harry rambles on about during their late night phone calls. No one to be nervous about. 

(“Hey, Zayn,” Harry had giggled during a phone call the night before Louis’ birthday. “Do you want to know what Louis did earlier?” 

Zayn had adjusted himself on the bed, getting a bit more comfy as he was lying in his favourite striped, old pyjamas. “Well, you are going to tell me either way.”

“Well, yeah,” Harry agreed. “Anyway, so I was out buying a present, right? For his birthday? And I got home and he was like,” Harry changed the tone of his voice to a higher pitched one, “’Harry, where have you been?’ And I was like,” Harry changed his voice into a deeper one, “’Well, I can’t really tell you that.’ And he was like, ‘Why not?’ And I was like, ‘”You know, why not.’ And he was like, ‘I don’t think I do.’ And I was like, ‘Yeah, I think you do.’ And he was like, ‘I think I need you to tell me.’ And I was like –“

Zayn decided to cut him off. “Haz, is there a point to this story?”

“Yeah!” Harry exclaimed, laughing. “The point is that he’s an idiot. How does he not know that I went out shopping for his gift? Like, duh.”

“Well, I mean, most people don’t do it the last day,” Zayn tried to meddle.

“So, have you bought Liam’s Christmas present yet?”

“Of course,” Zayn said. “I did that two weeks ago.”

“Oh, yeah? What did you get?” 

Zayn lowered his voice. “I can’t tell you that. He’s taking a shower right now – he might hear.”

“Come on Zayn,” Harry whispered back. “You tell me what you got for Liam, and I’ll tell you what I got for Lou. And I really want to tell you, so come on.”

“I don’t know,” Zayn hesitated. 

“You can do it Zayn, just whisper it. He won’t hear.”

“Well, uh, alright,” Zayn relented, feeling his cheeks getting heated. Okay that he and Harry were really close and told each other everything, he still wasn’t quite sure how to say that he had bought his boyfriend handcuffs, a dildo and a book called “How To Spice Up Your Sex Life; Homosexual Males Edition”, without it becoming awkward. And it’s not as if Zayn’s and Liam’s sex life really needed to be spiced up, either. Zayn just thought the cover looked cool, basically. And, um, couldn’t hurt, really. The position on page seventeen had looked particularly interesting. “Well, I bought a kitchen item, a massage item and a book. You probably haven’t heard of it.”

“Yeah, alright. I’m sure he’ll appreciate that.”

Zayn cleared his throat. “Eh, yeah. So what did you get Louis?”

Harry barked a laughter. “Oh my god, I got the best thing ever. I was looking at some stuff online when I found this book called “How To Spice Up Your Sex Life; Homosexual Males Edition”, right?”

Zayn choked on air. “Uh-huh.”

Harry quickly added, “I mean, not that our sex life needs to be spiced up, of course! Like, it’s really good, trust me.” He lowered his voice. “Really, Zayn, _trust me._ ”

Zayn buried his face in a pillow and squeaked, “I trust you.”

“I mean, the biggest reason why I bought it was because of the cover, it just looked really cool. I mean, there are two naked men on the cover, which I’m all aboard with. And they are touching each other really provocatively, if you know what I mean.”

Zayn wanted to die. “Yeah, I get it.”

“I mean, can’t hurt can it?” Harry said. “Like, I have it right in front of me right now, and I’m on page seventeen. And I was thinking like, birthday sex? Like this position I’m looking at right now, I’m not going to tell you because I don’t want things to get awkward, but it looks really interesting. Think we’re going to have to try it out tomorrow.”

Zayn buried his face further into the pillow. “That’s a little too much information there, Haz.”

“Why?” Harry asked. “It’s not as if you know what position I’m talking about.”

“Well, um, no,” Zayn stuttered, flustered. “Obviously not. But still.”

“Okay,” Harry drawled. “We’ll keep it PG 15, then. Still can’t believe Lou didn’t get that I was out shopping for him.” He started laughing. “I mean, it’s pretty funny how I spent a good deal of my time being all _oh my god Louis, you’re so brilliant, oh my god, marry me_ – and it turns out he was like the biggest idiot of all time. Can’t believe I was ever like that. Like, Jesus.”

Zayn rolled his eyes, smirking. “Haz, we both know you still have your Tumblr, so I don’t really know who you are kidding right now.”

Harry was silent for a moment before grumping, “Shut up.”

“Besides, it’s not as if you can possibly regret it. I mean, we wouldn’t be where we are today, if not. We wouldn’t have met. You and Louis wouldn’t have met.” Zayn took a deep breath. “Me and Liam wouldn’t have met.”

“I know,” Harry said, his voice quiet. “It’s insane how everything worked out, isn’t it?”

“Absolutely. Wouldn’t have it any other way, though.”

“Me neither.”

They both laid in comfortable silence for a while. Zayn could feel his eye lids getting heavy, but he didn’t want to fall asleep until Liam had returned to the bed.

Still, Zayn had almost entirely passed out when he heard Harry through the line saying, “I can hear Louis coming this way, I hope he’s bringing tea.” A second later he said, “Oh! He’s bringing tea. He's bringing tea.”

Zayn was too tired to answer. Instead, he heard the phone being muffled as if Harry had put it away from him. 

Through the speakers, he could hear the faint outline of Harry’s voice singing, “You can’t go to bed without a cup of tea, and maybe that’s the reason that you fart in your sleep.”

Zayn snorted and could hear Louis’ vocalize his complaint at the lyric change as well. “I don’t fart in my sleep, Harold! You fart in your sleep.”

Harry laughed out loud. “Maybe we both do.” He then said, “Excuse me,” and Zayn could hear him picking the phone back up. “Sorry about that, Louis came with tea.”

“It’s alright,” Zayn mumbled. 

“I think I’m going to hang up now, but I will see you at Christmas alright?”

“Of course.”

“And hey,” Harry said, and Zayn could hear the smirk through the phone, “I’m not saying what I bought you for Christmas, but I am saying you should expect something hard, useful and with very pretty pictures.”

Zayn fought back the urge to groan out loud. “Great,” he said, flatly. 

“Awesome. Well, I’ll talk to you later. Love you, bye.” 

“Love you too. Take care.”

Zayn ended the phone call, and closed his eyes when he suddenly felt a warm body coming up behind him. 

“I like the striped pyjamas,” Liam commented, as he slid closer. 

Zayn smirked. “It’s Gucci.”

“Sure it is, babe, sure it is.”

Zayn turned around so they were face to face. There was something he had thought about for a long time, but hadn’t really known how to say it. “You know you don’t have to come see me right? Like, I get that you are busy so I don’t want you to feel like you have to come over, just because I’d get lonely or something otherwise. I’d get it if you didn't. You wouldn’t have to feel bad.”

Liam immediately shuffled closer, his eyebrows furrowing. “Well, that’s not accurate at all. I come here because I want to see you, because I miss you. Not because I feel bad.”

Zayn made grimace. “Yeah, but –“

“No but, let me explain,” Liam interrupted. “Look, you’re right. I am busy a lot of the time. My life is so crazy I cannot even believe it myself. But that is exactly why I come here. Because this is the only place where I can relax. You are the only one who can make me relaxed,” he said, taking Zayn’s hand I his and holding on tight. “I’m not with you because I feel like I should. I’m with you because you are the only one who can take my mind off things. You are the one who made me find myself, and I love every moment I spend with you. And I will do everything in my power to make those moments as frequent as possible. Not only because you deserve it, but because I need them. Because I need you.”

Zayn smiled, his eyes tearing up. “I’m so thankful I have you.”

“No,” Liam argued. “I’m thankful to have you.”

Zayn closed his eyes, a smug smile on his face. “You should be. I got you the best Christmas present.”

“Oh!” Liam exclaimed excitedly. “Is it that comic book I was talking about last week? That would have been so cool!”

“Eh.” Zayn frowned. “Not quite.”

“Yeah, well,” Liam said and laid down with and arm draped around Zayn’s waist, “whatever it is, I’m sure it’s amazing.”)

“This place is so wicked,” Liam commented, looking around the room. Zayn turned to face him, returning his focus back to present time, and it was pretty funny how Zayn felt the exact same giddy and nervousness in front of him as he had ten months ago, just in a slightly different manner. “Didn’t expect this many people to show up.”

“It might be because I tweeted about it last week,” Louis said. “Brilliant move, that.”

Niall rolled his yes. “Yeah, I forgot you are the inventor of twitter, Lou.”

Louis gave him a blank, unimpressed look. “Do you want me to punch you in the face or something?”

Niall feigned a scared look and raised his hands. “Oh my god, I’m so scared! Please don’t hurt me!”

Louis retrieved with something, but Zayn was distracted by Liam giving him a look and saying, “I did not realise being a kindergarten teacher was part of my job description when I signed up for the X-factor.”

Zayn laughed. “To be fair, you’re kind of a shit kindergarten teacher. Are you just going to accept this behaviour?”

“You’re right,” Liam said and turned to Niall. “Ni, what have I said about offending Louis? You’re hurting his feelings.”

Niall turned to face Louis, pouting. “Aw. Did I hurt your feelings?”

“Oh, fuck off,” Louis countered, making a grimace. “And you too, Li, I don’t need your help.”

Liam sighed and looked at Zayn pointedly. “And this is why I don’t interfere.”

Zayn gave him a gentle pet on the cheek. “It’s okay. You did your best.”

Louis, too, gave him a pat on the shoulder. “No one can ask for more than that.”

Niall gave him a pat on the back. “Yeah, good work, Li. Real proud.”

“Um,” Liam said, looking at the three of them curiously, his eyebrows pulled together. “What is going on? Why do I get the feeling that this is an intervention?”

“I don’t know,” Zayn laughed. “I’m just looking for a reason to touch my boyfriend, don’t know what these two are up to.”

Both Niall and Louis quickly removed their hands. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Niall said. 

Zayn’s phone buzzed. He removed his hand from Liam’s cheek and picked it up. It was another text from Harry. He was just about to open it when he was cut off by Louis.

“Is that from Harry?”

“Uh, yeah it -,” Zayn stood frozen in surprise when Louis leaped forward, took his phone from his hand and ran away, giggling. “What the fuck –“

Niall laughed, so Zayn turned exasperated to Liam who only shrugged. “What do you want me to do?” He chuckled. 

“I don’t know!” Zayn cried, pointing in Louis’ direction. “He’s your friend.”

“He’s your friend, too.”

“But you were friends with him first.” 

“Lads, lads,” Niall said. “Let’s not fight. Let’s instead enjoy this beautiful, magnificent evening we have ahead of us, and welcome it with warmth and open hands. Let us cherish this rare moment we spend with our closest friends.”

“Dude,” Liam said slowly, and looked at Niall wide eyed, “I think you’ve had a drink too many.” He turned to look at Zayn. “He always starts speaking about the wonders of life and shit when he’s drunk. Somehow, alcohol makes him poetic.”

Zayn smirked. “I know. I haven’t forgotten Harry’s dropping out of school party.”

“Right, yeah. That was a fun night.” Liam waggled his eyebrows suggestively. 

Zayn’s stomach did flip-flops. That had been a fun night, indeed. 

Niall only laughed which then turned into a happy sigh, and he put a hand to Liam’s chest, his eyes shining. “Yes, well. Harry’s party. You know, I’ve been a lot of places, I’ve been all around the world. Made a lot of changes. But not forgetting who I was.”

Liam nodded seriously. “Good for you.” 

Niall removed his hand. “Thank you.”

When Louis returned, not long after he’d left, he handed over the phone to Zayn. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay,” Zayn said. “I guess.”

“You’re a good lad,” Louis said, grinning. “Anyway, I think I’m going to go stand closer to the stage. Anyone coming with me?” 

“I’m good here, thanks,” Liam declined. 

Zayn shuffled closer to Liam. “Yeah, me too. I’m staying with Li.” As if his answer ever would have been something else. 

“I’m coming with you,” Niall said to Louis, his excitement evident. “Let’s go!”

Niall and Louis wandered off into the thick crowd. Zayn was going to send Harry another text message, when he noticed a text conversation that certainly hadn’t been there five minutes ago.

 

From: Harry 

_Your mum isnt making any sense XD LOL :P_

From: Zayn

_You aren’t making any sense lover boy... why don’t you and Louis join me and liam in a foursome tonight.. it’ll be hot ;) ;) rawrrrrr_

From: Harry

_Dude what the fuck, shut up_

From: Zayn 

_I can think of multiple ways in which you can make me shut up ;) ;) ;) grrrr_

From: Harry

_What’s wrong with you seriously stop using that wink smiley, it’s creepy as fuck_

From: Zayn 

_Oh okay XD LOL :P… nerd! Hot nerd though rarwww ;) ;) gonna invite you to my bed later you sexy mofo ;) ;)_

From: Harry

_Lou, 1) you can’t sext, 2) give zayn his phone back, I’ve told you not to harass my friends 3) we both know who looks good with glasses on between you and me…_

From: Zayn

_Haha sorry honey, just trying to get your mind off things! You’ll do great though, so proud x_

From: Harry

_Thaaanks babe. Just nervous I guess. Can’t wait to see you later :)_

 

Zayn smiled, his insides warm and fuzzy on the behalf of his friend. Maybe he didn’t need to text Harry anything. Instead, he then turned to look at Liam who was still standing closely next to him. 

“Hey, Li?” 

“Yeah?” He smiled. 

Zayn squeezed his hand. He had always had a hard time describing his feelings; like, he was either happy or he was sad. He didn’t always know how to eloquently say what was on his mind that would rightfully convey his feelings and thoughts. Especially not with Liam. Because words weren’t good enough. Often, it came down to him not saying anything and hoping actions speak louder than words. But today he had too, seeing as this night was special for them too. 

“Happy ten month anniversary.”

Liam squeezed back, his brown eyes crinkling. “I love you.”

Now, Zayn wasn’t a thirteen old girl, so naturally he didn’t get butterflies in his stomach, an uncontrollable smile on his face and he did certainly _not_ blush. But he did say, “I love you too.” 

 

xx

 

**Louis’ POV:**

 

Harry’s first performance as a signed artist was a big deal. Which, _duh_ , no shit – was it? 

The thing was though that it was almost a bigger deal to Louis than it was for Harry. Naturally, he had already heard every song like what, one million times, like _per day_ \- but that didn’t make him any less nervous. He wanted so badly for Harry to do well, wanted him to succeed, and most importantly; he wanted him to be happy. Because if there was one thing Louis cared more about than his own happiness – it was Harry’s. And Louis knew this is what would make him happy. 

If Louis would have had his way, he would have told all of his twitter followers to buy his album, come to his show, buy his merchandise and etc. However, of course, Harry had stubbornly replied that he wanted to reach his own success, and wanted to get acknowledged because he had earned it, not because he had gotten a free ride. Louis had insisted that of course he had earned it – he’d written his own songs, he sang like a god; but Harry still wasn’t having any of it. So, no free PR. Which obviously Louis could respect. And didn’t argue with. 

Only, apart from that little, insignificant tweet last week. And looking around at the sea of people, Louis didn’t feel too bad about it. It was quite a small gig, the area wasn’t too big, but the number of people were definitely more than anyone could have anticipated, making the crowded room warm in the otherwise cold January night. 

“He should get started any moment now,” Niall commented next to him, barely audible due to the loud buzz of people around them. Niall was grinning as he shook his head. “Fuck, I’m so excited.”

“Yeah,” Louis agreed, his body filled with adrenaline as well as nerves, “tell me about it.”

When the lighting finally dimmed, and crowd tuned down, Harry entered the stage. 

He looked breathtakingly beautiful, is the thing. Really, unfairly so. Tight, black trousers with holes in them, a loose button-down shirt - revealing some of the tattoos he’d gotten the last couple of months and a bandana in his hair, keeping his fringe from falling into his eyes. 

The crowd cheered, and Louis louder than any other. 

Harry stopped in front of the microphone, a guitar hung around his shoulders. “Hi, thank you so much,” he said, smiling. “My name is Harry Styles, and I'm very grateful for everyone single one of you who showed up today.” 

He started singing his first song immediately, wasting no time with unnecessary banter.

When it was time for Don’t Let Me Go, Louis knew in beforehand since he had been there when Harry had planned the whole performance, Harry started out with saying, “I’d like to dedicate this song to a special somebody in the audience, but I’m too shy to say who. Hopefully, that someone will just know.”

Louis watched Harry on stage, the way he smiled so widely his dimples appeared and his eyes shined; the way they only did when he was truly happy. Like during sex or the first time Louis had said he loved him. Or the second, third, fourth time, and so on. 

And yes, Louis knew who he was talking about. Which is why he let out an annoyed huff of breath when he felt Niall bumping his shoulder unnecessarily hard. “He’s talking about you,” he remarked, winking. 

“Well, no shit,” Louis countered, patting his shoulder while rolling his eyes. 

Niall only shrugged, unbothered. “I just think it’s cute, is all.” 

Louis beamed, his insides warm. “Thanks.” He wasn’t really sure what he was thanking him for, but he said it anyway. 

When Harry started singing, Louis watched him intently. The whole room could have been on fire, and Louis wouldn’t even have noticed. All he could see was Harry. 

When the show was over, and the crowd cheered enthusiastically, everyone reacting the way Louis knew everyone would react, Louis stayed in his spot, burning with pride. He had been perfect. Absolutely perfect. 

“Thank you for coming tonight, and I hope you have a good evening,” Harry said into the microphone before bowing and walking off the stage. 

Immediately when he was done, Louis ran off through the crowd to the door leading backstage. There was a big man there, who frowned when Louis came running. 

“Open the door,” Louis ordered dramatically, pretending he was the hero in an action movie and inside was a dangerous bomb threatening to explode the entire building. 

“Why?” The man countered. “Have you been allowed access?”

Louis took a step forward, making intense eye contact. “Don’t you know who I am?” 

To Louis’ great surprise, that actually worked. The man opened the door saying, “Excuse me, Mr Tomlinson.” 

Louis beamed. “Thank you.”

Louis ran around the backstage area, looking for Harry, when he finally spotted him slouching in a chair in an empty dressing room.

“Hey, Haz!”

At the sound of his name, Harry tilted his head up and his entire face lit up when he saw Louis.

“Louis!” He exclaimed, and quickly rose from the chair. 

Louis wasted no time but immediately rushed towards him and embraced him, making him stumble back a bit by the force of it. Louis draped his arms around him tightly and buried his face in his neck, smelling the familiar smell of Harry. Harry’s smell was definitely one of Louis’ favourite things about him. 

“You were so good,” Louis said. “I’m so proud.”

“Yeah?” Harry said, slightly breathless. “You think?” 

“Yeah. Amazing.”

“Stop it.”

“Mind-blowing.”

“Shut up.”

“Amazingly, mind-blowingly good.”

Harry dipped his head down as he put his hand under Louis’, tilting his head up, and pressed his lips against Louis’. Louis kissed back eagerly, as a grin began working its way onto his face. He could tell Harry was smiling too. His hands worked their way down Louis’ back, and lower and lower until -

“Guys, can’t you wait until you’re alone? I mean, really?” Zayn’s voice said.

Sighing, Louis reluctantly pulled away from Harry and looked back where he saw Liam, Zayn and Niall staring at them, their faces amused. 

Harry removed his hands from Louis’ waste. “Sorry, sorry.” Louis made a disapproving sound. In response, Harry draped an arm around his shoulder instead. 

Niall snorted. “Oh boy, am I the fifth wheel of what?”

When Louis noticed Zayn and Liam were standing exactly the same as they were, he couldn’t help laughing. “Sorry, Ni.”

“Nah. It’s okay.” Niall shrugged. “Love is in the air, and it’s a beautiful thing to witness.”

“Um,” Louis said. ”Right.” 

Zayn stepped out of Liam’s embrace and skipped his was over to Louis and Harry. “I want a hug too.”

Louis stepped away, giving them some space, when he heard the familiar sound of Harry’s ringtone (“Wouldn’t it be nice” by The Beach Boys). Grinning, he reached forward and grabbed it out of Harry’s back pocket. “I’ll take that.” 

Sprinting away quickly, he could hear Zayn asking, “-does he always do that?”

Louis looked down at the caller’s ID, and to his great joy it was exactly who he was expecting; Anne. He pressed answer. “Hello!” He said, and walked out of the room and closed the door behind him. 

“Hi,” he heard her greet through the speakers. “Is that you, Louis?”

“Yeah, it’s me,” he confirmed. 

“Oh! Hi, honey. How are you?”

“I’m great, how are you?” 

“Glad to hear that, I’m good too! How was Harry?”

Louis stopped in his tracks and leaned back against the wall, smiling so widely his cheeks hurt. “He was so good Anne, you have no idea.”

“Oh, really?” She said, her voice going up. “I’m not surprised, but I’m glad to hear you say that.”

“Oh, yeah, he was amazing.”

“I’m so proud.” 

Louis beamed. “Me too!”

There was a beat of silence. “You don’t think he’s upset I wasn’t there, do you? I mean, I wanted to, you know that.”

Louis shook his head forcefully, even though she couldn’t see. “No, of course not,” he argued. “You were busy. You couldn’t just come all the way to London for one evening. Harry understands. Besides, there will be plenty of more shows.”

“I suppose,” she said slowly, and then said quickly, changing the subject, “So are you celebrating tonight? Doing anything fun?”

“Yeah, we and the boys are going out for drinks and then we’re just heading home, really. It’s been a long day.” 

“Sounds perfect,” Anne said. “Well, tell him I said hello, that I’m proud of him and that I love him. Oh, and that he should call me when he gets the chance.”

“Of course,” Louis said, beaming. “I will bring the message. Hey, by the way, you’re still coming over next week right? For his birthday?”

“Of course I am! Actually, I’m bringing Gemma with me as well.”

“Oh, I’m so excited,” Louis said, bouncing up and down. “I’ve got big plans. Anyway, I should get back now, but don’t be a stranger, alright?”

“I will stay in touch,” she said. “Take care of Harry now, alright?”

“Always,” Louis said, his smile really being on the borderline of ridiculous by now. Like, it was really good no one else was paying attention to this conversation. He started walking back to the dressing room. 

“Great. Have a good time tonight, and I will talk to you later. Love you.”

Louis beamed and opened the door to the room where the other boys were, all of them watching him intently as he walked back. “Love you too. Bye!”

He finished the phone call and returned the phone to Harry, who stared at him wide eyed. “That was your mum. She told me to tell you hello, that she’s sorry she couldn’t be here and that she’s proud of you.” 

Harry grabbed the phone slowly, and continued to stare at Louis with the same puzzled expression, not saying anything. 

Quickly, something cold curled in Louis’ stomach. “Oh, shit, I’m so sorry! Did you want to speak to her too?”

At that, Harry only smirked and chuckled, putting the phone back in his pocket. “It’s okay, I’ll call her tomorrow.”

“Alright.”

“Hey,” Harry said and looked at Louis questioning. “Did she say anything about next week?”

“Yeah! She said she’s still coming _and_ she’s bringing Gemma with her.”

“No way!” Harry’s face lit up. “That sounds fantastic!”

Louis started jumping up and down. This show had just left him a big pile of energy. He felt like he could do anything. Like he was invincible. “I know!”

Niall cleared his throat, making Louis stand still. “I just figured that maybe we could bring this party elsewhere?”

“Yeah, about that,” Harry drawled, and leaned in close next Louis, putting his hand on his back. “It’s been a long day,” he said, as his hand started working its way lower down Louis’ back, “and I’m pretty tired.”

“What?” Niall cried. 

Harry’s hand continued working its way lower, and lower, and lower down. Louis cleared his throat. “Yeah, I’m pretty knackered as well. Kind of just want to hit the sack.”

“Yeah, me too,” Harry agreed, his hand stopping on Louis’ bum, which he gave a light squeeze. 

Niall gave them a long and sceptic look. “Are you two going home to have some weird cat sex with your Hello Kitty ears?” 

“Ey!” Harry exclaimed, his cheeks coloured red. “That was only a joke. We don’t actually do that.”

"Sure you don't," Niall countered, rolling his eyes. 

Louis smirked, remembering the cat ears he’d bought for Harry’s birthday next week. He looked up at Harry and when he made eye contact, he said, “Mjauw?” 

Harry tightened his grip around his bum, which could only be interpreted as a good sign. 

“I don’t like what being in a relationship has done to you, Lou,” Niall concluded and turned to Liam and Zayn. “You’re still coming right?”

The two of them shared a look and shrugged. 

“Yeah, we’ll go,” Liam said. “We’ve got our own things to celebrate.”

“Great! At least there’s someone I can still count on.”

The three of them said their goodbyes to Louis and Harry, once again telling Harry how well he’d done. Harry thanked all of them, his cheeks remaining red. 

When they had left, Harry turned to face Louis. “What time is it?”

Louis checked his phone. “Just past midnight. Wanna go home?”

“Not really.” Harry shrugged, before something switched in his expression and he looked at Louis predatorily. He took a step closer, crowding Louis’ space. “We’re in a perfectly empty dressing room. I say we make this night really memorable.”

“What are you suggesting?” Louis asked, slightly distracted by how closely Harry stood. His hands slid under Louis’ t-shirt and started touching the skin there.

Harry’s eyes were bright green. “I think you know what’s coming, Louis.”

Admittedly, Louis was still sore from last night but that didn’t mean dick didn’t twitch at Harry’s words. That position on page seventeen sure was something else. “I think I do.”

Harry took his fingers in his hands and dragged him over to the couch, which wasn’t exactly the biggest, but Louis didn’t exactly give a single fuck about that right now. 

Harry sat down pulled him in between his legs. 

Louis slid in easily, putting his hands on Harry’s chest. “So this is how we are going to do it then, lover boy?” 

“This is how we’ll do it,” Harry said and closed the gaps between their mouths. 

Louis pushed back, while moving his hands up into his hair. They slid down further into the couch, their bodies pressing together. When Louis was properly heated up, he opened his mouth to speak, before he got too distracted. “Oh right, I forgot to tell you one thing.”

Harry looked up, his eyes glassy and his red mouth swollen. “What’s that?” 

Louis moved his hands from Harry’s hair down to his body, making its way to his almost entirely unbuttoned shirt. And why was his shirt still on? This would have been a lot more fun if there were no shirts involved. Louis shook his head; this is exactly what he meant by ‘distracting’. If he were to look up the word ‘distraction’ in the dictionary, a picture of Harry would probably show up. 

Louis cleared his throat. “Anne also told me to tell you that she loves you. Like, you probably already knew that already but I still feel like I should deliver the message.” 

A slow smile stretched across Harry’s face, becoming bigger and bigger. “Yeah, I knew that. She tells me every day.” Slowly, Harry moved forward and pressed his mouth against Louis’ neck, making him moan out loud. “Do you know who I love?” 

Louis closed his eyes and started grinding himself down on Harry, the way he knew he liked. “I don’t know. It’s not like you tell me every day.” 

Harry stopped sucking. “Yes, I do.” 

Louis opened his eyes and looked at Harry, who was staring at him, his eyes wide and honest. “Today you haven’t.” 

Harry frowned. “Yeah, I have. I did just before I went backstage.” 

“Hm, is that so?” Louis pretended to think. “I can’t recall that. I’m afraid you’ll just have to tell me again.” 

Suddenly, Harry looked away, his eyebrows knitted together. “Who do I love anyway? Zayn?” 

Louis didn’t even dignify that with an answer, but snorted and punched him on the shoulder.

“Just kidding,” Harry chuckled. A slow smirk was still present on Harry’s lips, yet his eyes were calm when they looked into Louis’ and his hand stroking Louis’ cheek was gentle, when he said, “I love you.” 

Louis took a deep breath. You’d think you’d get used to those words after a while, but apparently not. “I love you too. So much.” 

Harry’s smirk developed into a full on beam, making Louis’ whole body warm. Also smiling, Louis leaned down to kiss him again – the way he always did when he couldn’t appropriately convey his affections into words. 

It took Louis by surprise when Harry pulled back again, this time his features a mixture of anxious and vulnerability. It took him even more by surprise when he whispered, “You’ll never let me go, right?” 

Louis stared into Harry’s green eyes, and felt his stomach do flip flops at the sight. That’s the thing about Harry, Louis thought, he always brought out the best of him. He was always his best self when he was with Harry; always the strongest, always the bravest, always the happiest.

It didn’t even matter if they had the world on their side because Louis had never felt as content in his whole life. Sure, it was hard at times but Louis wouldn’t trade what he and Harry had for anything. He was half a heart without Harry. 

There was really only one answer to that question.

Louis shook his head. “Never.”

Harry hummed and nodded. “Makes sense. You should probably just stick with me. Dating is overrated anyway.”

Louis looked at him hesitantly. “It doesn’t get too much though? With the rumours, and shit?”

“I don’t care what people way when we’re together,” Harry said before moving closer and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. “I just want to be the one to hold you when you sleep.”

Louis put his right hand on Harry’s cheek. “Nothing can come between you and I, right?”

Harry grinned. “Absolutely nothing.”

Louis leaned back down again, capturing his lips in another kiss. He didn’t need to say anything else, because kissing was better than words anyway. Besides, the feeling in Louis’ gut spoke louder than words ever could. The feeling that he was exactly where he needed to be, and who he needed to be with. 

Harry was his home, and Louis never wanted to leave.

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it obvious I've been listening to Midnight Memories a lot?
> 
> I'm on [Tumblr](http://djunglehaz.tumblr.com) if you wanna say hello. 
> 
> Bye. x


End file.
